Murder & The Monkey Band: High Desert Cozy Mystery Series

by Dianne Harman

  "Every ugly duckling has the ability to turn into a beautiful swan, if you just let go of the resistance; it'll happen sooner rather than later. So how many of you now understand the concept of resistance?” the chairman asked.

  Everyone nodded a yes.

  “Ok, so let’s try something out,” said the chairman.

  “You can be at two places at the same time,” said the chairman, much to everyone’s astonishment. They all looked at each other not knowing what to say.

  "That's bull freaking shit," said one man.

  "Well, that's resistance for you right there. I'm not here to change your beliefs, but wouldn't it better if you investigated the matter further rather than dismissing it so abruptly?" asked the chairman.

  “So this is for real?” asked another.

  “Yes,” said the chairman.

  “Nice. We could all work two jobs at once and no one would know,” said a senior gentleman. “Woooohoooooooo,” all of them screamed out loud.

  “But if that’s the case, then why doesn’t everyone do it?” asked one guy, with a puzzled look on his face.

  “There was a man sitting on the bank of a river who was hypnotized (plugged into the matrix) by the upside-down reflection of a tree, shimmering in the crystal clear water. He took it for reality. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and told him that the tree was right behind him and upright," said the chairman. "He turned around, saw it and then immediately turned his head back towards the reflection, happy that everything was the same once more.”

  “Always remember that the world is upside down. Your external senses will mesmerize you until you wake up. Till then one mirage after the next will be taken for reality.”

  "Is sex bad?" asked a young man.

  “My grandmother used to say - don’t talk about sex at the dinner table or you’ll get a pregnant pause,” the chairman replied. “The world has moved on. No, sex is not bad. On the contrary, a lack of sexual activity results in stagnation. Energy doesn't flow, and when that happens money and success are hard to come by. However, be warned, excessive sex will destroy you," replied the chairman.

  "Very interesting," remarked one woman.

  "Yeah, and the old ones are as horny as the young," added a young gal, who was known for her outspokenness, much to the embarrassment of the older folk, most of whom went beet red.

  "That's a good topic for a Ph.D thesis," chuckled the chairman, as he deftly maneuvered the topic in another direction. "So let's move on to the next big topic that sucks the life out of you."

  CHAPTER 6

  Sin, Decoded

  “There is no such thing as ‘sin’," said the chairman. "The whole concept of retribution and heaven and hell is a figment of your imagination. Sin gives birth to guilt, and guilt kills you. It literally snuffs the life out of your being. You do something and someone says you have sinned and you will be punished.

  “This guilt gets buried deep within your bosom and never lets you live freely. You expect to be punished for as long as you live because this guilty memory haunts you forever.

  "It's the most heinous crime you can ever commit because you are imprisoning your spirit. Never do that and never let anyone else manipulate you with their words.

  Any surprises as to why most humans are like dodos that became extinct because they couldn’t fly?” exclaimed the chairman.

  He waited for an answer. The chairman possessed the limitless patience that teachers and bosses often lack: people need plenty of time to hear a question and answer it.

  “Any clue as to why most humans are like dodos that became extinct because they couldn’t fly?” the chairman repeated.

  “Escuse me, shir,” said a toothless old man. “What does a dodo and flying have to do with the money you promised to talk about?”

  The chairman’s poise was momentarily ruffled by the old man’s question.

  After a pause, he reached down and withdrew a large-denomination bill from his pocket, which he slowly folded into a paper airplane. He tossed it gently into the air, and after a respectable flight, the green bill landed on the floor near a young gal’s feet.

  “Money can fly,” said the chairman. “The dodo couldn’t.”

  The crowd chuckled. The toothless man cackled that his money flew, all right, into the hands of the income tax and bill collectors.

  Before all the laughter had subsided the chairman resumed, “If you don’t start living, then you’re headed for dododum. In the Dodo world, one dumb Dodo told the rest that flying was a sin, and anyone who flew would be cursed to a life of hell once they died.

  “Well, when the hunters came the birds were rooted to the ground, not because they couldn’t fly, but because of the guilt that imprisoned them, because some idiot dodo proclaimed that flying was sinful,” said the chairman.

  “That's a good one,” said one gal, giggling.

  "Human dodos abound, the world is full of them, and to make things worse - they love to hear the sound of their own voice. So their mouths are open 24/7," said the chairman.

  Between giggles, the young girl glanced at the paper airplane on the floor.

  “Can you give us an example of imaginary sin?” a young man asked earnestly, and wondered if someone was going to pick up the bill.

  “If you don’t fast during certain times of the year you are labelled a sinner," said the chairman.

  "There's nothing right or wrong about fasting. If it suits your spiritual path then embrace it by all means. But coercing, castigating or intimidating someone to do something they cannot 'relate to' nor are 'comfortable with' causes a lot of harm to both parties," said the chairman.

  "Yes, in the heat of the moment when you lose your sanity because of a lack of awareness and force yourself upon someone you become a sinner.

  "Sinning is the absence of goodness or in other words you become evil because evil is the absence of goodness.

  "It's so deceptively simple. When 'goodness' leaves you, however fleetingly, at that moment in time you become a sinner," said the chairman.

  “Are non-vegetarians sinners?” asked an elderly lady, with a worried look on her face.

  “That’s a good question,” said one girl.

  “Hmm… ok here goes,” said the chairman.

  “Billions of vegetarians spew billions of negative thoughts on a daily basis and a few even harbor thoughts of killing, looting and plundering on a global scale (if their interests are harmed),” said the chairman.

  “In many cases, vegetarians wholeheartedly endorse murderous decisions. In this way both vegetarians and non-vegetarians kill hundreds, maybe thousands in conflicts, skirmishes and wars that take place on a daily basis,” said the chairman.

  “So both are on the same level, slightly above that of animals. Animals walk around naked, you have clothes on - internally both are looking to survive not thrive. You think that turning into a vegetarian makes you ‘spiritual’ automatically. How smoothly you delude yourself!”

  “Lottsa things are beginning to take on a whole new meaning,” said one man.

  “Can anyone tell me the biggest sin a human being can commit?” asked the chairman as he scanned the room.

  "Murder?" said a young man.

  "No," said the chairman.

  "Rape?" said a woman.

  "No," said the chairman.

  "What can be bigger than rape and murder?" an old man whined.

  "Hurting the human spirit with words or the lack of it by being silent," said the chairman.

  A hush fell over the room. Most went into a state of shock. Nobody moved. The chairman didn't utter a word for several minutes. He wanted these words to sink deep into the soul of every participant.

  "Well… err… we've all been guilty of it," a woman stammered.

  "But we never thought the consequences would be so harsh," a man said.

  "That's why most people never make money," said the chairman. "Or even if they do, it's with a lot of blood, sweat and tears. The karmic load is so h
eavy that it negates anything you do to move forward.

  "What's the solution?" asked an elderly lady.

  "Something very simple but very tricky. You can do it but you just won't do it," said the chairman.

  "Forgiveness. You'll hold on to insults or insinuations for decades. Every time you refuse to forgive you give birth to a block. Most of these blocks are deep within you, remnants of a situation or altercation you faced a long time ago.

  "I'm saying it once more. Don't ever imprison your spirit on account of a guilty conscience and if you do something wrong ask for forgiveness immediately. If the other person refuses to forgive you, it's their problem. Ask for forgiveness from the bottom of your heart and promise yourself you'll never do it again, and move on in life.

  “Looks like we have much bigger issues to deal with,” said an elderly gentleman.

  “Your thoughts are diametrically opposite to ours,” opined one woman.

  “Since sin doesn’t exist, we can party a lot harder from now on,” said a young guy. Everyone screamed: “Wooohooooooooooooooooo.”

  “So what you're saying is that we can commit a crime and get away with it?” asked an elderly gentleman.

  “Good question. Since there’s no retribution, it’s a free ride, right?” asked one gal.

  “Well, it’s not that simple,” said the chairman. “When you commit a crime your conscience gets jolted. This jolt results in the formation of a negative imprint, which gets added to your memory bank, which is already overflowing with billions of such imprints.

  "This imprint is similar to the one made in molten metal. When you get hot under the collar, these imprints register deep grooves in your psyche. Is it easy to erase them? No. It takes a long time and until it exists you'll project the same reality over and over again. You’re helpless.

  "So prevention is better than cure. Don't lose your bearings. Keep cool. You'll end up paying a heavy karmic price if you don't.

  “These imprints give out a certain type of energy just like a magnet. This magnetic force attracts you to people, places and things vibrating at the same energy level. You can steal a piece of paper, a pen, a book or money from a bank; it’s all the same.

  “So if you lie or steal, no matter how small or how big, it gets registered, and this attracts you to liars and thieves. They might be from the ghetto or they might be wearing skirts and suits, but the undeniable fact is - ‘like attracts like’.

  "Another way of looking at it is - your conscience is the software and your memory is the database. When "an act" involves an emotion then the result of that act gets added to the database. The bigger the database the harder life gets. In other words, keep your emotions in check and travel light. You'll go fast and you'll go far and you'll be happy.

  “So it's back again to the memory and its back again to the most important saying of all time – empty yourself of your memories, for the reason your life is the same as your parents or differs very marginally is because the same memory patterns bring forth the same experiences.”

  “So what you're telling us is that there’s no entity sittin' in heaven doling out bouquets and brickbats?” clarified an old man.

  “That’s right. You're responsible for every bouquet and every abuse hurled at you,” said the chairman.

  “I’ve been terrorized into submission by my folks who keep telling me that I’ll end up in hell if I sin,” said a young gal, her cheeks pink with guilt.

  "They're right on one account," said the chairman. "Don't do anything that might hurt others.

  “So to recap, you are bleeding precious energy because you daydream, blame, complain and criticize, because of infatuation, because you are weighed down by useless memories, because of sin and guilt (if not a lot then a little). Sin is a figment of your imagination that never had anything to stand on but survived for so long because you energized it with fear that sprouted from your inner being,” said the chairman.

  "Women are good when it comes to all of this. Their bullshit detector is far better than a man's. They've always been the protector whereas man has always been the provider. You put bullshit on a man's plate, he'll eat it and then say - Well, that tasted kinda funny.

  Everyone burst out laughing.

  "Learn from women, you'll prosper tremendously," said the chairman

  *****

  Once, three beautiful birds landed on the front lawn of a house. The lady of the house was busy with her daily chores when she nonchalantly looked up and saw these heavenly creatures. She went up to them and almost let out a shriek when the first bird said: “My name is Love.”

  The second bird said: “My name is Success,” and the third bird said: “My name is Wealth.”

  The lady could scarcely believe her good fortune. She invited all of them in, but Love told her, that she could only choose one of them.

  She went running in and called her husband. Soon, there was an animated discussion, about which bird was to be let in. The fight was for Success and Wealth, neither wanted Love.

  A little while later, their eight year old daughter came out and saw the birds. Since her parents were unable to come to a decision, they asked her to choose. The little girl didn’t know what Success or Wealth meant, so she chose Love.

  As soon as Love flew into the house, Success and Wealth too flew into the house. This left the parents perplexed. Love had conveniently forgotten to mention, that if it was chosen, then Success and Wealth had no option but to follow it, wherever it went.

  *****

  CHAPTER 7

  Nothing can Kill You!

  The chairman looked over at the paper plane made of money that still lay unclaimed on the floor. No one dared pick it up. Maybe they were afraid of being labelled as greedy. Just when the chairman was going to reach down for it, the young gal retrieved it for him. He thanked her as he pocketed the money.

  “So, how many of you are afraid of death?” asked the chairman.

  All of them raised their hands.

  “Why?” asked the chairman.

  “It's game over once we’re dead, ain’t no fun in that,” said one man.

  “Here’s a scientific fact that science does not know yet: you are immortal, you will never die or in other words - nothing can kill you, because you are the essence,” said the chairman.

  “Howz that possible?” asked an elderly gentleman, who flashed a toothless grin.

  *****

  A day is equivalent to a lifetime enveloped in 24 hours. A day and a lifetime are like two gears, made of the same material, have teeth, and rotate in a circular fashion. They differ in size - not in function. Hence, you are born every day.

  When you sleep, you don't sleep, your body sleeps. When you die, you don't die, your body dies. The sun doesn't rise in the east and set in the west. The sun always is just as pure awareness always is. Don't let the rising and setting blindside you. Just like the sun - You are Pure Awareness and Awareness always Is. Don't let small things like birth and death fool you!

  *****

  "Once you were a baby, is that baby still around?" asked the chairman.

  "No," said the elderly gentleman.

  "Are you still here?" asked the chairman.

  "Damn right I am," he replied, as everyone burst out laughing.

  "Once you were a teenager, is that teenager still around? Once you were a young man, is that young man still around? Once you were a middle aged man, is that middle aged man still around?" asked the chairman. "None of them are around, but you're still here, aren't you?"

  "Yeah," said the elderly gentleman.

  "So you take up all these forms that are eventually discarded, but the "you" still remains, this ever-present awareness that is witness to everything that is happening," said the chairman.

  "The witness always was, is and always will be."

  “So why are we not aware of this fact?” asked the senior gentleman.

  “You hit the nail on the head," said the chairman. "It’s all ‘bout awareness. All
of you sleep with your eyes wide open during the day so there’s ‘very little to no awareness’ even when you are awake. With such low levels of awareness there is very little difference between you and an animal.

  “This imaginary fear of death keeps you rooted to the same spot, every decision you take is centered around your safety, your security. You might not be aware of it, but deep down its playing on your ignorance (that you are unaware of your immortality) all the time.

  “When you die you don’t die, it's not game over; it's just break-time. Tired of this existence, tired of playing the game of life, you take a breather and then get back on court with renewed energy,” said the chairman.

  “Death is a figment of your imagination. The fear of death sucks out enormous amounts of energy from you on a daily basis. This stunts your growth and you live life half-dead. Many diseases and bodily pain in life are on account of this fear manifesting itself in myriad forms.

  “You walk around thinking that someone or something will harm you or your family; the funny thing is – those around you also walk around thinking that you’ll stick it into them at any time.

  “If you want to tattoo one thing then let it be this – Death is the ultimate illusion,” said the chairman. “It’s back to the concepts of ‘Empty yourself of your memories, your past conditionings and bring down this wall of resistance that has come up on account of your memories.

  “When you try to reason, you are standing on the foundation of your memories, for without the support of your memories you cannot reason, so such a method of learning is faulty. In Latin - to educate means to draw from within, not to shove from outside. Eternal truths bubble up from deep within and point you in the right direction,” said the chairman.