Out of The Box Regifted

by Jennifer Theriot

  “Right after I left, she kept calling, but I didn’t answer. She left voice mails, but I just deleted them.”

  He takes the brush from me, and starts to slowly brush my hair. “That’s my girl. There’s no sense in hearing what she has to say anyway. Friends don’t do that to friends.” He kisses my forehead.

  I tell him that Todd called, and told me the same thing.

  He laughs, and points the brush at me, “Well if you don’t believe me, at least I know you’ll listen to Todd. You two are peas in a pod. He’s got your back, you know…”

  I laugh, and take the brush from him. “Yeah, he told me he was gonna come to Houston and kick her bitch ass. Those were his words, not mine.”

  He picks me up and wraps my legs around him, carrying me into the bedroom. “And he would, you know.”

  “Yeah, I do. I have a lot of friends and family I can turn to. Not to mention a wonderful fiancé, whom I love to Mars and back.” I run my fingers through his perfectly styled gray hair and pull his face into mine. “I really do love you.”

  “Aww honey, I love you too. More than you know. I can’t wait until you get our condo decorated, and ready for us to move into. Let’s just focus on that, the baby, Tommy and Emily, and our upcoming wedding. We’re all you need, Liv.”

  I shake my head, “You’re so right.” I look at him and flirtatiously wink, “That and a little shaggin.”

  He’s grinning from ear to ear, as he looks at me, “Why Olivia Petersen, you’re starting to sound like Todd.”

  He seductively runs his finger around my belly button, and smirks, “I thought about you all damn day, Sunshine. I actually played one of my best games ever today.” He boasts, “I shot a 69.”

  I innocently bat my eyes and ask, “So a 69 is good?”

  He bites his bottom lip and traces my lip with his finger. “69 is great honey. It’s 3 under par, and I can show you just how good it is.”

  “69 huh?” I flirtatiously ask.

  With a raised eyebrow, he kisses me while speaking into my mouth, and whispers, “Oh so you know about 69?”

  I move my hand between his legs, and feel his bulging erection, “Oh yeah, I know about 69.”

  He takes me into his arms, and shows me that 69, is indeed fabulous.

  After we’ve made love, we lie in bed listening to sensual soul music on the radio. The room is dark. I put my hand over my mouth and smile.

  Ash reaches over, and puts his hand on my face. I softly laugh.

  “Liv, are you smiling?”

  I giggle, “Yes. Why do you always ask me if I’m smiling, when it’s dark and you can’t see my face?”

  He snickers, “Because I can feel your smile. I love it when you smile.”

  I put my head on his shoulder, “And I love it when you make me smile.”

  He ruffles the top of my head and laughs, “Let’s get some sleep. You wear me out.

  In spite of what’s happened today with Patti, Ash has made me realize that I don’t need to dwell on the bad things. We’ve got a great life and so much to be thankful for.

  On the way to the airport the next day, I’m quiet and find myself staring blankly out the window of the car, as Ash rubs my leg. He knows how emotional leaving my kids is for me, and he tries his best to cheer me up. “Liv, honey, we’re gonna close on this condo within 30 days and you’ll be going back and forth decorating and renovating, sooner than you know. You can fly in whenever you want. Don’t be sad, be happy.”

  “I know. I just hate leaving Lainey and Kel. I had such a good time, did you?” He’s got a happy look on his face, and I reply honestly, “I had a blast. In spite of what happened with Patti, I’d venture to say our weekend was perfect.” His eyes light up, “We found our second home, I had a great golf game, you had Lainey time, so yes—I’d say it was a successful weekend.”

  ***

  Before long, our flight lands, and we’re in the car on the road home. While the skyline in Houston is beautiful, nothing compares to the magnificent Chicago skyline at night. It’s positively breathtaking. Green Eyes is playing on the stereo, and I smile. Ash has one hand on the steering wheel, and the other is rubbing my neck. “Whatcha smiling at, Sunshine?”

  I close my eyes, as I reminisce, “Ummm, the music. This song was playing the first night I met you. It’s like déjà-vu.”

  “Ah, I remember that night. That’s the night I saw the most beautiful woman in the world.”

  He takes the exit for Lakeshore Drive, “So, you still wanna stay at the condo tonight?”

  Feeling anxious to get home, I put my head back on the seat and stretch, “I think I’d rather go home. I just want to sleep in our bed tonight, if you don’t mind.”

  He kisses my hand, “No problem, Angel. Your wish is my command.”

  ***

  We pull into the drive, and I feel so happy to be home. Ash dutifully opens my door. “Go inside honey, I’ll unload everything.” He carries our suitcases to our room, and I fall onto the bed. With my arms behind my head, I stare up at the ceiling, in an attempt to unwind from the events of the weekend. I’m still on cloud nine.

  Ash changes into some sweatpants, and plops himself down beside me.

  He caresses my cheek. “You tired?”

  “Ummm, kind of…but you know what I want to do?” I bat my eyes.

  Hesitantly, he looks at me, “Nope. Tell me.”

  “I’d like to change into something comfy, grab a glass of wine, and go to the music room.”

  He looks at me with a wicked grin.

  I roll my eyes, and shake my head, “Not for that, Ash. I want you to play for me...and sing. I’ve missed that. It’s been so long...”

  He gives me a soft smile. “That sounds mavry, and you’re right... It has been a long time. You sure you want me to sing, though?”

  I anxiously shake my head.

  I quickly change, as he grabs our wine and leads me to his sanctuary.

  I curl up on the couch, as he leans over me with a twinkle in his eye. “Name your poison… guitar or piano?”

  I look into his eyes, and kiss him. “Both. I want both.”

  With guitar in hand, he sits on the couch opposite me, with his legs stretched out. Our feet are touching and I playfully tickle his foot with my toe, watching him squirm. “Okay Sunshine. Remember though, you asked for it.” He winks, as he meticulously tunes his guitar. “You may be sorry.”

  I giggle. “Never. You know I love to hear you play, and your voice is amazing.”

  He starts strumming, “You like Bonnie Raitt?”

  My eyes light up. “I love Bonnie Raitt!”

  “Then this is for you.” He plays Not the Only One, and I look at him approvingly and clap.

  As he’s singing to me, I can’t help but smile. “I’ve never heard that sung by a guy before.”

  Not missing a chord he stops singing, chortles and replies, “Guys can feel this way too. Listen to the words. It’s me.”

  I sing along with him, and think of how much I’ve missed music nights. After several songs with his guitar, we cuddle on the couch. He softly rubs my arms and kisses my shoulder, giving me chills. “This was a great idea, Liv. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed my music.”

  I turn my head, and look up at him. “Now I want the piano.”

  “The piano?”

  “Yes. please.”

  He bends in, and nudges my neck with his nose “No rest for me tonight, I guess. Whatcha wanna hear?”

  “Classical. Something soothing.”

  He sits at the piano, and motions for me to go sit beside him on the bench, as he begins to play. His long fingers dance gracefully over the keys, and his face lights up. It’s a beautiful soothing song. He smiles, and looks lovingly into my eyes, “You like?”

  I smile, “Umm, I love it.”

  “It’s called Sonata Pathetique...one of my favorites.”

  “It’s beautiful.” I rest my head on his shoulder, and close my eyes as I listen
. When he’s finished, I whisper, “Don’t stop. Please… keep playing.”

  “I’ll play for you, my Sunshine.”

  I fall asleep leaning on his arm, and I feel him pick me up, turn out the lights, and carry me to bed. I feel Ash kiss me goodnight, and his arms wrap snugly around me, as I drift off to sleep.

  I wake the next morning, to find him not in bed. Assuming he’s gone to make coffee, I lay in bed anxiously waiting to inhale the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

  I hear the front door open. Curious, I get out of bed and discreetly peek from the bedroom door, watching as Ash greets our morning guest.

  I hear the sound of keys hitting the marble floor, followed by Todd’s high pitched voice. “Jesus H Christ Mr. H.! You scared the fucking crap out of me. What the hell are you doing here?”

  I laugh to myself, as I see Todd’s face. He’s caught off guard and embarrassed, as he looks off to the side.

  Ash cracks up laughing, “Well Todd, I guess I should ask you the same thing. What may I ask, are you doing here?”

  Todd stammers for words, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that Ash is buck naked. Looking at the ceiling, he attempts an explanation. “Well, I came by to get a damn amp out of the music room. Tommy said you and Olivia were staying at the condo last night. Holy shit!” Todd covers his eyes with his hand in embarrassment, and shakes his head as Ash calmly and without reserve, explains.

  “Well, if you really need to know, we were gonna stay there, but Liv wanted to come back home, since she has to go to work at noon.”

  With an uneasy look on his face, Todd looks down and responds, “So, what’s up with the fuckin birthday suit?” He’s discombobulated, which is a rarity for Todd. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my laugh. This is great. Seeing Todd caught off guard, is priceless.

  Ash playfully puts his hands behind his head, and looks at Todd. “Nothing, I’m enormously comfortable with my manhood!”

  Todd scrunches his face and squints his eyes, gritting his teeth. “Yeah, I guess so. Damn you’re packing a fuckin weapon of mass destruction there, Mr. H. You could fucking inflict some major pleasure with that.”

  Hearing them talking, I grab my robe and tie it securely around my waist. I bravely prepare to venture into the kitchen, when it suddenly dawns on me that this would be the perfect opportunity to pay Todd back for his phone sex prank call. I clear my throat, and have to pinch myself to keep from laughing. Pretending I don’t know he’s there, I sashay into the entryway. “Ash? When are you coming back? I’ve been waiting, and I’m not finished with you yet!” I whine with a pouty face. “I got the toys out and…” I gasp, and pretend to be horrified when I see Todd.

  Todd’s mouth drops open, as he looks at me totally embarrassed, “Jeeeezus! This just keeps gettin fuckin better by the minute! I couldn’t even write this shit!” He holds his arms out, with a confused look on his face, “Any other surprises gonna come thru that door?”

  I crack up laughing. BAM! My plan worked, and Todd has been paid back.

  He points his finger at me, shakes his head smiling, and sarcastically bellows, “Oh good one Olivia….very fucking funny.”

  Ash stands there grinning jovially, totally exposed, while the look on Todd’s face tells me that he’s probably questioning why he ever came over here today. There is complete silence. Ash breaks the awkwardness and smirks, as he holds out his hand, “Liv, give me your robe.”

  Mortified I grab the sash on my robe protectively, “Oh hell no.”

  I look over at Todd standing there dumbfounded, and playfully slap his arm. “Shit Todd, what the heck are you doing here?”

  He frowns down at me, “Gee Olivia; you don’t sound very happy to see me.” He shakes his head, “Ouch. I think my feelings are hurt.”

  Todd and Ash are both looking at me; staring at me actually. They both laugh, knowing full well that I’m embarrassed. Obviously Ash could care less, that he’s fully flashing himself to the world.

  Todd and I both look at Ash, who is standing there with all of his manhood on display. Todd is rocking back and forth, trying his best not to stare at his penis, and my eyes are fixed on his beautiful feet. I can’t seem to move my eyes much higher.

  “Alright already; will you two please quit gawking at me?” Ash larks.

  Sheepishly I respond, as I nod my head towards Todd. “Okay, but I’m not the one gawking, he is.”

  Rolling his eyes and grinning, Ash holds up a finger. “Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.” He calmly strolls towards the bedroom, presumably to grab a pair of boxers. While he’s gone, Todd takes full advantage of his absence to tease me.

  “Damn Olivia! That guy has a fuckin dick that goes on forever. No wonder you always have a big smile on your face. Makes us all look bad, shit. What man wouldn’t wish for a package that big!”

  My face is red and flushed. “Todd, you need to stop. This is not a conversation I want to have with you.”

  He senses I’m uncomfortable and mortified. “Hey, I’m just fucking with you. But he does have a big dick. A huge dick, actually. Big dicks are good. I’d say you’re extremely lucky!”

  I flip him off and he knocks my finger down.

  “Girl, you know it’s good! How can something that big, not be good? Right?”

  About that time, Ash, now in his boxers, confidently struts back into the kitchen.

  “So, Mr. H, I’ll think I’ll just get the amp and head out. I’m really sorry about just barging in. I really thought you’d be at the condo.”

  Ash opens the cupboard, pulls out 3 cups and sets them on the counter.

  “No, why don’t you stay for coffee, Todd. It’s no biggie.”

  Oh boy. I feel a Todd retort coming.

  “No biggie? Oh I so don’t think so. That’s such a biggie. Jesus, I mean is that shit hereditary? Cause if it is, I know now why Em smiles all the time too.”

  I can feel my face heating up; I’m sure by now its maroon with humiliation, and Todd knows he’s gotten the best of me.

  “Babe, chill I was just kidding. I’ll stay for coffee, but only if you guys are finished. I don’t want to interrupt anything…”

  I quickly respond, “I’d love for you to stay for coffee, Todd. Nothing needs finishing, I assure you.”

  “Yeah, whatever. I can tell when I’m odd man out.”

  “You’re not odd man out. Geez. Sit down and just shut it.”

  He pulls one of the barstools out, plops down, and asks all about the condo.

  “So, tell me about our new Houston home. I’m dying to hear all the details.”

  “Todd, it’s fabulous and I can’t wait to close and start redecorating. Marcus, Lainey’s designer, is going to help me transform it into our paradise.”

  “Damn that was fast. How many places did you look at?”

  “Only 3. The last one was it. Ash loved it, and I just felt it was what we were looking for. It fits everything I imagined, and I can just picture everyone coming to visit.”

  Ash shakes his head and concurs.

  “Olivia and Marcus are going to turn it into a showplace. I just hope that French speaking charmer, keeps his talents to decorating the condo and not my Liv.”

  “Uhh, do I detect a bit of antagonism? Todd smirks.

  Ash responds. “No antagonism, just stating facts. He’s a pretty handsome guy, and barks a pretty damn good French accent. Just marking my territory.”

  I respond matter of factly, “Ash, Marcus and I are friends. Just friends. He’s my decorator, for God’s sake, plus he’s half my age.”

  “And decorating is what he’ll do well to remember, he’s hired to do. I don’t want a handsome Frenchman moving in on my gal.”

  I’m stupefied by his words, “Ash, honestly how could you even think that? That’s totally absurd.”

  “Well, I’m just saying that you’re mine, and I don’t want anyone moving in on you.”

  Todd quickly diffuses the conversation, “Mr. H, ummm, I’m pretty su
re after what I’ve just seen, that Olivia won’t let anyone move in on you. Shit I can’t even get that visual out of my mind, and it’s gonna haunt me all fucking day, thank you very much.”

  “What, are you jealous, Todd?” Ash laughs, and asks.

  “Well, fuck yea I’m jealous. What man wouldn’t be? Jesus. I thought I was gifted, but you put me and every other guy to fuckin shame. I think I’m gonna start calling you WMD or BD. That would be Weapons of Mass Destruction and Big Dick, in case you didn’t get it.”

  Ash shakes his head, and cracks up laughing, “I get it, but I like Mr. H much better, I think.”

  I step in and stop this conversation before it escalates further.

  “Time out, boys. Y’all need to stop with this alpha male penis talk. It’s disgusting, and we are going to talk about something else please. No more talk about the male appendage. Come on, let’s have our coffee and talk about the band or something. Or better yet, Todd what’s the latest with Kyra?”

  He rolls his eyes like a little kid, “Okay, I promise, geez.” He scoots his barstool closer to me. “Kyra’s great. We’ve been hanging out a lot together lately, and I kinda think we’re like boyfriend and girlfriend.” He scratches his head and laughs, “Wow that sounded stupid didn’t it? I mean boyfriend and girlfriend sounds like high school shit.”

  I pinch his cheek, “No, that doesn’t sound stupid at all, you goof ball. I think it’s kinda cute. Thinking of taking it to the next level?”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty much headed that way.” Mocking me, he pinches my cheek, “You sure are nosey this morning, aren't cha?”

  He tells us that they’ve talked at length about being apart, their goals in life, family, and even children. “I want her and Em to come see us as often as they can, while we’re on the road, but I know her school comes first. Hell, she’s worked damn hard to get to where she’s at, and I certainly don’t want her to blow it on me. It’s weird, because Avenue is kind of at a crossroads. I mean, up to now, we’ve just played local gigs and now we get a chance to tour, and possibly make it big. What happens if we do? Shit we’d be gone all the damn time.”