Cry For Me: (A Dark College/Enemies to Lovers) (Alder Academy Book 3)

by Erin Trejo

  “What are you doing?”

  “What is fear to you, Liz?” I run my fingers along her neck, up her jaw.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yes, you do. Are you scared of me?” I lean down and whisper in her ear. Her body trembles slightly. “Are you afraid that you should have been in that lab?” She starts to reach for the shirt that has her blindfolded but I push her hands away. My lips caress her earlobe as she breathes a little heavier.

  “He was going to kill me.”

  “Does death scare you?” She nods her head. “It shouldn’t. You’ve seen death, Liz. First hand.”

  “Her eyes. They were pleading with him. Asking him not to do it,” she says through a strangled cry. Liz never got over what she saw her brother do. Witnessing her mom being killed tore a piece of her off and tossed it into the wind. She was never whole after that and I know that much. I want her to be whole. I want her to be who she was meant to be. Liz isn’t like us. She’s beautiful, smart, powerful. She just has to let that part go so she can see there is more than death in life.

  “And you sat there, watching.”

  “I couldn’t look away.” She cries harder. My lips move to her cheek, soft kisses.

  “Why not? Why didn’t you look away?” Her body shakes with each sob that now leaves her throat. This is killing her but that’s not my goal. I want to heal her. I want her to heal me. She’s the new that can replace all the pain of the old. She’s the only thing that has me clinging to what’s left of my sanity, and if I don’t have her fully, I won’t have her at all.

  “I thought she could feel me there with her so that she wouldn’t have to be alone.” The cries, the screams, they burst out of her before I reach up and pull my shirt from her eyes. I turn and leave her sitting on the couch as I head into the kitchen. Dropping into the chair, I lean back and sigh. She’s as broken as I am, but she has the power to make it all right. I don’t know how. I don’t know why and that’s pissing me off.

  “You okay? Your girl is breaking down in there,” Callan says as he points over his shoulder, strolling into the room.

  “Who do you think broke her, Brother?” I say with a dark smile.

  “Whisper’s in there with her. She’s going to have your ass,” he adds.

  “Probably. What did you find out?” He grabs a water from the fridge and twists the cap off, taking down half the bottle in one go.

  “It was the science lab. Looks like someone turned the gas on and left it. Tommy is missing in action which seems a little odd to me,” he says, catching my interest.

  “Gone?”

  “Yeah. I saw him with her at the school earlier and then he was gone.”

  “The note was from him?” Callan nods as Steele stalks into the room.

  “Aww, look at my little brothers having some bonding time,” he teases.

  “Fuck you. I got your bonding time right here,” I tell him, grabbing my cock. The guys laugh as Steele grabs his own drink and comes to stand next to Callan.

  “What’s going on in there?” he asks, jerking his head in the direction of the living room.

  “Gave Liz a little reality check.” Steele raises an eyebrow.

  “What?” I ask in response.

  “Nothing. She sticking around?” he asks, I shrug.

  “Don’t really know. That’s not on me,” I tell him. He nods his head when Whisper storms into the room.

  “What is your problem?” she yells as she gets right in my face. Her hands shove at my chest but I don’t move because I’m in the chair.

  “If you wanted to touch me, you should just ask. I won’t say no,” I tease her.

  “She’s a mess!”

  “And?”

  “And? And you need to go be with her, Knox.”

  “Oh, no. That is not something I do. I don’t chase women, Whisper. You know that much.” Her arms cross over her chest, her eyes narrow at me. Damn, she’s one hot little thing.

  “But you don’t have a problem making them cry?” I shake my head with a smirk on my face. Whisper starts to step toward me when Steele grabs her and pulls her back. He whispers in her ear and she smirks.

  “I’m getting some guys for security here at night,” Callan tells us. I nod my head, knowing that’s probably a good idea.

  “Good.” Shoving out of my chair, I head toward the living room once more but I don’t find Liz there. With a shrug, I head up to my room. I don’t know if she left or not, and to be honest that thought pisses me off. I stomp into my room and slam the door when I see her. She’s standing in the bathroom with a pair of scissors in her hand. Her eyes are vacant as she looks at herself in the mirror. I walk over and lean against the doorframe, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “Why?”

  “Have you ever looked at yourself and hated everything you see?” Shoving off the doorframe I step up behind her, pressing my body into hers. Then I lean down, resting my chin on her shoulder as we both stare at her reflection.

  “What do you hate?”

  “Everything.”

  “Be specific,” I tell her.

  “I hate that I’m weaker than I thought I was. I hate that I didn’t try to stop him. I hate that I ran. That I’m still running. That I’ve lied to people that care about me and I can’t take any of that back.” Reaching for the scissors, she allows me to take them. I set them on the counter and spin her to face me. Grabbing her face in my hands, I lick my suddenly dry lips.

  “What I love about you is your strength. I love that you say what you’re thinking and how you feel without giving a shit what anyone thinks. I love that you can still move on with your life even after all that you’ve lived through.” Tears stream down her cheeks, ripping my goddamn soul from my body. I’ve never felt like this for anyone. “I love that you need me as much as I need you.” With that, she loses it. She wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me as she cries. For me. She cries for me.

  I hold her like this for a long time, but when she finally looks up at me, I know what I did was right. I may have debated it for a second but now, I see it.

  “No one has ever seen anything in me.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Liz. People see it, it’s you that doesn’t.” Leaning down, I press my lips to hers and savor the taste of her on my tongue.

  22

  Liz

  We’re all sitting around the fire that the guys made out back with drinks in our hands. It’s nice to see everyone together and laughing.

  “Where is your head at, Knox?” Steele asks. I’ve noticed that he’s been slightly distracted all night too, but I didn’t want to ask questions. Christmas is coming, and I didn’t know if that was something the guys celebrated or how they celebrated. I figured that might be why he’s so off.

  “I want to take her to see Jeremy.” I leap from his lap and spin to face him as the rest of them stare.

  “What? Why?”

  “Sit down, Liz,” he says softly.

  “No! Fuck that!”

  “I like her,” Whisper laughs.

  “So we’re told,” Steele adds.

  “Now, Liz.” This time it comes out as a demand that I know I should follow but damn him. He threw that bomb out there without a second thought. When I don’t move, Knox grabs my wrist and yanks me back into his lap with a huff.

  “Now that’s taken care of. Why do you want her there? Is he not wanting her dead?” Callan asks. I nod.

  “He does. But I think it’s about time that he knows I’m not playing on his team. I want him to know that she’s mine, not his.” His words warm my heart as I look over my shoulder at him. His eyes come to meet mine and I’m a little lost in them.

  “I’m…”

  “Mine. You heard right.” A small smile crosses my face before I press my lips to his. Steele clears his throat, breaking us apart.

  “Why does she need to be there?” he asks. I’m kind of curious to know that too.

  “I just told you that.”

  “Do
you think he will show with her being there?” Callan asks.

  “I don’t know. I was going to have her dress down. Hoodie and shit,” he says, bringing his beer to his lips and taking a long pull.

  “She’s your girl, that’s on you. We can set up outside just in case, but I doubt he will do shit in public like that. I mean, he blew up the science lab but that wasn’t occupied,” Steele tells him. His girl. Just hearing it sends a chill down my spine. I’ve never actually had someone like Knox want me so it’s a little strange for me. I’m not sure how I should react and that causes me to tense up. Knox sets his bottle on the ground next to him before wrapping his arms around me as if he can sense what I’m feeling. His strong arms envelope me in a warmth that I never knew existed.

  “Speaking of exploding labs, have we heard anything on Tommy?” Just his name pisses me off. I thought better of him. I thought he actually liked me but that was all a lie.

  “Not much. Has a few priors but nothing major,” Steele says.

  “I want his ass,” Knox growls from behind me. I can hear the anger, the rage in his tone.

  “And you’ll have him.” That was Callan.

  “Can we get off this depressing subject?” Whisper chimes in.

  “What do you want to talk about then?”

  “Christmas and how we can spoil the hell out of Bella.” Her smile couldn’t possibly get any wider and that causes me to smile too.

  “You guys already spoil her,” Shane states.

  “Not enough. It’s Christmas. What do you guys usually do?” Whisper asks, glancing over at Steele. He shakes his head and shrugs, running his hand through his hair.

  “Not much honestly. Dad was away for most of them. We just sort of hung out and did whatever we wanted,” Steele tells her. Her smile fades like everyone else’s. I didn’t have great holidays but we had a tree.

  “You didn’t have a tree?” I ask. Knox’s arms tighten around me.

  “No. Didn’t see the need for one,” Callan informs us.

  “Well, we are having one this year. I think we could all use some holiday cheer.” Whisper’s smile is huge and her eyes are full of light. I think this might be the happiest I’ve ever seen her and it makes me smile along with her.

  “Jesus Christ, what are we getting into?” Steele hisses under his breath.

  “Women. We’re getting into women,” Callan states.

  “Your daughter. She deserves the best of memories with all of you. When she grows up, she will remember every single one,” I say softly.

  “Liz is right,” Shane says. “We don’t know what her life has been like up until she came back to us. She deserves that much.”

  “Don’t start the fucking girly crying shit. Bella will have the biggest goddamn tree there is,” Knox states. The guys chuckle but the girls? They both beam with happiness. It’s the perfect setting for an imperfectly perfect family. I’m about to say more when Knox’s warm lips come to rest on my neck. His breath dances over my flesh like the perfect breeze causing bumps to erupt all over my skin.

  “What do you want for Christmas, Liz?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Come on. Everyone wants something. If you could make one wish what would it be?” What do I want? My mom back? My brother gone? Happiness?

  “I want a home. A place that I will never have to leave. Somewhere that I can call home and truly feel it. I don’t want to run anymore, Knox. I’m tired of running. I want to stay in one place and actually make friends and have a life.” He doesn’t say anything and when I shift in his lap to turn and look at him, his eyes are hard as steel. Something inside of him is slowly coming undone and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad. You never know when it comes to Knox.

  “What about you? What do you want?” I take the chance to ask him. He swallows hard, his face softening slightly.

  “I want everything. I want your happiness. I want your sadness, your fears. I want it all, Liz. All of you.”

  23

  Knox

  The week has gone by in a blur of bullshit. Liz hasn’t left my side and I can’t complain about that. I like having her here. I need her here. When she isn’t close, I get a sick sense of unease that slithers through my veins. It’s not a good thing either. It makes me crazy, crazier than I already am.

  “What about that one?” I shake my head, clearing my thoughts away when I hear Bella. I follow her pointed finger to a tree.

  “That’s too small. Thought you wanted a huge tree?”

  “I do, Uncle Knox! How big can I get?” Her eyes widen when I reach down and lift her in my arms. Holding her under her arms, I lift her up into the sky and spin around. She laughs loudly.

  “This big! Think you can find one?” She laughs harder as I lower her back to the ground.

  “I can do it,” she squeals and takes off.

  “You’re good with her,” Callan says stepping up next to me.

  “After the way we were raised, how could I not be? I wouldn’t want that for her, Brother. She deserves to be loved.”

  “And you love her?”

  “Of course I do. She’s my niece.”

  “I know. I’ve just never seen this side of you,” he laughs.

  “Which side is that?” I ask, looking over at him as we follow along behind his little girl.

  “The side that actually cares. The side that makes others smile.” He’s turning into a girl. Bella has this man whipped and wrapped around her little finger. Not that she doesn’t have that with all of us, she does, but Callan is different. If anyone makes an amazing father, it’s him.

  “I care, Cal. I care about all of you, it’s just harder for me to express that shit.”

  “I know but I’m proud of you, Knox.” Those words have me stopping in my tracks. I turn to face him, wondering why he even said that to me.

  “What?”

  “I said I’m proud of you. You’re hard as fuck inside and out, Knox, we all know that, but you have something more in there,” he says, pressing a finger to my chest. Bella yells that she found a tree and Callan walks off to find her. Whisper moves in, wrapping her arms around my waist.

  “What is this for?”

  “Nothing. I can hug you whenever I want, you asshole,” she snaps. I laugh and hug her back when I see Liz and Shane coming our way. She looks… happy. She’s smiling and laughing along with Shane. My heart leaps into my throat when Whisper starts laughing. She pulls her head back to glance up at me and I peer down at the same time, raising an eyebrow in question.

  “What?”

  “Your heart is racing when you see her,” she says softly, her eyes filled with love. Whisper is a hard girl to care about but my brother loves her and if I’m being honest, I love her too. Just not in the same way.

  “No, you’re just close to my cock,” I tease. She laughs and slaps at me before pulling back and grabbing Shane’s hand in hers. I watch as she drags her off toward the others. Liz stands there unsure of what to do with herself when I grab her hand and tug her into my body.

  “You can touch me whenever you want.” She laughs and looks up at me, her blond hair hanging around her shoulders.

  “I didn’t think I needed permission,” she says.

  “You don’t. You just looked a little lost right then.”

  “Maybe I am.” She shrugs.

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know, Knox. I just feel like everything is spinning around me and I can’t stop it. I don’t know how to stop it.”

  “He won’t hurt you,” I remind her. I know that weighs heavily on her mind and I can’t help that, but I can promise to protect her. And I will protect her.

  “There’s more than just me now that I’m worried about.”

  “Danny?” I ask. She shakes her head and turns to peer over her shoulder at everyone. Fuck. She cares about them as much as I do.

  “Look at me,” I tell her. She shakes her head and looks down. I grab her chin roughly in my hand and force her eyes to m
ine. “Do you really think that I’d put them in danger?”

  “For me? Yes, I do.” The growl that leaves my throat causes the people next to us to jump and walk away in a hurry. Shoving Liz’s face away from me, I step back and take a deep breath. What the hell does she want from me?

  “Then you clearly don’t know me at all.” I storm off, heading toward the guys and leaving her to fend for herself. I don’t know why she feels the need to push me the way she does, and I don’t know why I fucking like it so much. I’d never risk my family for anyone, but what Liz isn’t realizing is that she’s my goddamn family now too. I don’t know what else to do to make her see that.

  “I found one, Uncle Knox!” Bella yells and rushes toward me. She wraps her arms around my legs and the world around us could explode and I wouldn’t give a shit. This, this little girl is what family should be like. Not the hell we lived.

  “That is the best tree out here and you know what?”

  “What?”

  “While you were eating cookies and drinking hot chocolate, I got you all kinds of decorations for it,” I tell her with a smile.

  “You did?” Her little eyes light up.

  “I did, but you have to do what Mommy and Daddy tell you when you get home first. I think nap time is coming,” I tell her.

  “I hate naps. I’m not a baby,” she protests. I laugh.

  “No but you still need a nap. I might need one too.”

  “Will you take a nap with me?” she asks hopefully.

  “When I get back, I will.” She hugs me once more before turning and skipping off to her mom.

  “You make me sick,” Steele says.

  “Don’t be jealous that she likes me better, man.”

  “Just because you act like a child,” he muses.

  “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you.” I aggravate him.

  “My fist is going to be a good look on you though.” We both laugh before I nod and look to Liz.

  “I need to go. Jeremy should be on his way.”

  “You sure you don’t want us there?” Steele asks. I shake my head.