Equal Access

by A. E. Branson

  Her blood was literally on his hands. No, somebody else had done this. Shad had his part in it, but somebody else had almost taken Dulsie’s life. Who?

  The rage stirred again. Shad’s grip on the material tightened. More watered-down blood trickled over his knuckles.

  It was true he should have been home last night. Shad had withdrawn to give Dulsie space and time to come to grips with what she’d married. What she’d married. Shad remembered that distant look in her eyes when he arrived at the hospital. This wasn’t fair. Of all the disorders he had to be stricken with, why did it have to be this one? Why had he been led to believe it was gone, only to have it return? He should have been home last night. He should have taken the bullet. Why did Erin rescue him from one path of destruction only to have Shad wreak havoc upon her own family? Somebody shot Dulsie. Maybe it was because Shad chose to obey divine inspiration and become a lawyer. Maybe he had been mistaken. That power never spoke to him before or since – that is, until Shad discovered Wally.

  Wally. Shad wadded another section of the shirt in his hands, squeezing out more bloody water.

  This began with Wally. There was no such thing as coincidence. Shad had been maneuvered by unseen forces to discover Wally that day. But Shad was just a pawn. Why couldn’t he press criminal charges and be done with it? Why did he have to try to investigate Wally, to dig up evidence before he could have one more predator removed from some of society’s most helpless victims? Why did he have to meet with Wally only to have all the stress and frustration pry his disorder back out of latency? Shad was trying his best with all the limitations he had, yet apparently that wasn’t good enough. He had to be punished with something that pushed Dulsie away, and then she was shot. The sheriff would soon obtain that warrant to search Shad’s computer. How was he supposed to figure out who might try to kill him? Why did he have to find Wally?

  A chill settled over Shad.

  Wouldn’t it make sense that Wally would want him silenced? And speaking of silence, Wally was sitting awfully tight over there in St. Louis, apparently content with just waiting to see what Shad decided to do about him.

  Or maybe Wally figured the best way to avoid any attention from the police if Shad wound up murdered would be to stay out of the picture altogether. Wally was a liar, but Shad was also convinced that Wally wasn’t a killer, at least with his own hands. It would take a few days to arrange a hit, especially since Wally most likely didn’t hang out with mobsters. This assailant was no pro, Pap said. What was the gunman’s motivation to accept this job? He wanted the money obviously, but did he need it to support a drug habit or gambling debts?

  Only it had been Dulsie who was caught in the line of fire. Shad’s grip on the shirt became its tightest yet.

  Shad couldn’t prosecute for child molestation, but he would be just as satisfied to put Wally away for attempted murder.

  Ironically, his situation hadn’t changed much. Shad still couldn’t just go to the sheriff because he had nothing but conjecture. He still had to investigate Wally. But the main change Shad was noticing was in his determination to have the man put away. Any quarter he had been willing to grant to Wally was now completely nonexistent. Wally almost got Dulsie killed. Wally was going to pay for this. By the time Shad was done with him, Wally was going to wish he’d only had his arm ripped off and been beaten with it.

  Shad stared at the blood and water slowly dripping from his hands. The washer had finished filling some time ago and shut off. He had a target. He had somebody to focus on. He was going to get the man who hurt Dulsie.

  Shad finished scrubbing out the shirt and jeans with intensive vigor. He sprayed the clothes down with a stain remover before tossing them into the washer and nearly slammed the lid shut. Then Shad strode through the house and out the front door. He stopped at the white railing, gripped it in his hands, and gazed across the landscape of the farm.

  As much as he relished the thought of hanging Wally upside down and naked from a honey locust tree, Shad had to figure out a plan to turn the man over to the police. When Pap said not to go anywhere, Shad knew that didn’t include hiking around on the farm. He needed to do some of his best thinking.

  Chapter Nineteen

  For it is not My desire that anyone shall die – declares the LORD God. Repent, therefore, and live!

  --Ezekiel 18:32

  When Pap was ready to go to the hospital to pick up Mam, Shad requested to be dropped off at the bookstore. As he expected, Pap scrutinized him with a furrowed brow as they stood in the living room.

  “Don’t you want to see Dulsie?”

  “What I want and what needs to be done aren’t exactly the same.” Shad steadily returned Pap’s gaze. “Except for the part about tracking down what happened to her last night.”

  Pap’s frown deepened. “Back up the buggy a minute.” He briefly glanced at the carrying case hanging from Shad’s shoulder. “How is the computer gonna help figure that out?”

  Shad drew a deep, calm breath before responding. “I finally determined who would want to see me terminated right now.”

  Pap arched an eyebrow. “Sounds like you should be having a chat with the sheriff.”

  “It’s not that easy. This person is in a different jurisdiction and will be regarded as a low priority there. Time is of the essence.”

  “Attempted murder is a low priority?”

  Shad fixed his gaze on Pap’s. “Trust me. Until the police have more to go on than my word, they’ll consider the other person to be a low priority.” Shad stepped toward the door. “I’ll explain more in the car.”

  Shad knew his explanation wasn’t going to be entirely to Pap’s satisfaction, but his goal right now was just to make it to the bookstore so Shad could have the internet access he needed. Pap didn’t take long once they got into the maroon Toyota to follow up with his questions.

  “So who became your prime suspect?”

  “Someone from my past.” Shad already had determined just what information he was willing to release.

  Pap glanced at him as he steered the car toward the road. “Why would they be after you now?”

  “I had a chance encounter with him about a week and a half ago. I know from my past he was involved in criminal activity. I have knowledge but not evidence he’s still involved. In order to obtain that evidence as quickly as it needs to be done, I’m gonna have to get it myself. If you’ll drop me off at the bookstore I’ll be able to begin that process. This is the best thing I can do for Dulsie right now.”

  “How is the computer gonna help you?”

  “I can’t tell you that.”

  Pap frowned. “Aren’t there legal issues about obtaining evidence illegally?”

  “Why do you assume I’ll be hacking?”

  “Why do I assume the bear takes a dump in the woods?” Pap glanced at him again. “In your current situation maybe you shouldn’t be flirting so much with law breaking.”

  “You realize I know this is coming from a man who risked being prosecuted on a felony to keep me out of the state system.”

  “That was different.”

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “Yes, it is.” Pap’s frown deepened. “Your mom and I had a choice to obey man’s law or to obey ... why ever it had to be us to take you in.”

  “My encounter with this person really wasn’t chance.”

  “Come again?”

  “It’s not for my own sake I need to turn him in. It’s not even just for Dulsie’s sake. This guy needs to be removed from society. I was meant to find him.”

  Shad watched Pap during the seconds that passed. Pap stared at the road and the furrow in his brow seemed to vacillate between increasing and decreasing. A good half minute elapsed before he finally replied.

  “Great,” Pap grumbled. “Now you’re starting to sound like Maddie.”

  Shad felt a smile creep upon his lips entirely of its own volition. “I knew you’d see things my way.”

  Pap didn’t give
up trying to wrestle more information from Shad, but he did agree to swing by the bookstore. Once there Shad strode directly to the little café established in the corner of the building and ordered an iced tea. He then set the beverage and his incriminating laptop on a small, white table and seated himself in one of the two imitation wrought-iron chairs around it.

  Phase one of his plan involved gaining access to Wally’s computer. There were several ways this could be accomplished, but Shad chose to try what could get him in the fastest. A Remote-Access Trojan, otherwise known as a RAT, had been an almost natural evolution from the earlier Trojan horse programs used to sneak into computer systems. But such programs, thank God, didn’t work until they were activated, which was why they had to masquerade as games or in attached files. So if Shad wanted the RAT he sent to Wally to start work right away, he had to deliver it under a guise Wally wouldn’t suspect.

  Shad also had to assume Wally would be up to date on such security as virus detection and firewalls. Both the man’s business and his personal interests, especially the prurient ones, implied Wally would be very “computer savvy.” But the mind of a hacker was a different animal from that of someone simply proficient in technology. The particular little rodent Shad planned on using was one of his own creations, used only once before to show Nolan what vulnerabilities were actually in the office system. Its unique signature should get it by the virus scans and remain unnoticed by the firewall. But Wally would still have to activate it.

  Shad’s exploratory hacking over a week ago had already gotten him into the intranet used by Wally’s business. During that perusal Shad did notice employees sending email that included proposed improvements and new gaming technology. And a look at Wally’s mailbox had revealed he sometimes forwarded such postings to his home computer. One store manager in particular came across as an efficient and communicative woman who kept abreast of the latest trends. Shad used her email address to bundle up his RAT as an attachment so he could launch it as a forward from Wally’s work computer.

  Then all he could do was wait for the rodent to emerge from its lair.

  Shad was just getting the RAT sent from the intranet site as Pap returned with Mam. Pap stood behind Shad and watched the monitor of the laptop.

  Although his dad could identify virtually every fauna and flora that crossed his path, the digital realm remained a bit mysterious to him. But Shad still didn’t want Pap to have any knowledge of what he was doing.

  “You’re making me nervous,” Shad grumbled.

  “Come on, Dear.” Pap imitated Shad’s tone. “We aren’t wanted.”

  They drifted to the nearby magazine section. Shad finished getting the RAT kicked off and made a quick job of looking over lodging options in St. Louis before he closed down the computer. Shad strode over to his parents and shrugged before opening his arms.

  “Sorry about that. I do usually try not to be such a knot head.”

  Mam took that opportunity to finally hug him. Shad wrapped his own arms tightly around her. It had been a long time since he’d hugged her like this – probably not since his wedding day. Then Mam shared news about Dulsie as they headed back out to the car to return home.

  Dulsie was determined to dodge the pain medication. Any time the staff showed up in her room, Dulsie would put on a cheerful face and persuade them she really wasn’t in that bad a shape, acetaminophen would be fine, thank you. Whenever Dulsie thought no one was looking, though, Mam could tell that her daughter-in-law was becoming more aware of the pain. Both she and Jill tried to tell Dulsie there were stronger medications available that would still be safe for the baby, but Dulsie was determined to not take any chances.

  That was Dulsie: brave, selfless, bull-headed. Shad found himself contemplating that if he could only give Dulsie back peace in her life, he’d take on even more agony to give that to her. Let God do with him what He willed, just spare Dulsie.

  After supper, Shad went to his room and finished packing the clothes he’d washed earlier that day plus a couple more outfits from Pap. He had formulated a plan, and he had to be packed. Now he also had to share just a little more information with his parents.

  When Shad went back downstairs, he found Mam and Pap exactly where he expected to. They were out on the front porch, sitting in the wooden lounge chairs Karl had built several years ago. Both were in a semi-reclined position, and Pap was just starting to light his pipe. Pap smoked an average of only two or three times a week because there were plenty of evenings he didn’t have time to indulge in that notoriety. Mam was reading a book, the pages of which were pinned down with her thumbs to keep the breeze that was blowing across the porch from flipping them untimely.

  Shad half sat, half leaned on the railing, just to one side of them. He took a moment to appreciate the spicy, fruity aroma from the smoke before speaking.

  “I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

  Pap looked up from his pipe in surprise and Mam closed her book.

  “Now what are you up to?” Pap frowned.

  “I have some unfinished business to attend to.”

  “As in continuing what you started at the bookstore?”

  Shad leveled his gaze at Pap and met his eyes for a few seconds. “There’s little else I can tell you.”

  Pap and Mam looked at each other, and then returned their attentions to Shad.

  “Why are you so secretive?” Mam asked.

  “Complicity.”

  “More hacking?” Pap narrowed his eyes. “When are you finally going to turn this over to the authorities?”

  Shad took a deep breath. He’d rehearsed many times in his head what he had to say, so now seemed the time to say it.

  “You two have done more for me than you’ll ever really know. Thank you. Now I get to return some of that favor.” He glanced toward Pap. “Most likely the sheriff will show up tomorrow with a warrant to seize my computer and give it a high tech combing through. You’ll be able to honestly tell them you don’t know where I went, and they’ll have to take time to look for me.”

  Mam frowned. “Shad?”

  “Don’t worry, I do want to talk to them as soon as I finish this business. I’ve got this planned out. I’ve got a backup plan. I’ll be back within a couple of days.”

  “What about your excursion to the book store?” Pap’s eyes were narrowed.

  “You can tell them about that. Believe me, the more they want my computer, the better for Dulsie.” Shad smiled gently. “I just wanted to give you the benefit of knowing I’m gonna leave before dawn. Don’t worry about me.”

  “Oh sure.” Pap threw his hands into the air. “We won’t worry about you one bit.”

  “Are you absolutely sure this is what you have to do?” Mam asked.

  “I’m gonna use the law against itself. Hey, I gotta do something to keep up the Delaney notoriety.”

  “Oh great,” Mam muttered to Pap. “Now he’s starting to sound like you.”

  Chapter Twenty

  There is always a right and a wrong way, and the wrong way always seems the more reasonable.

  --George Edward Moore

  Shad had to kill a little time around Jefferson City before he boarded the train, which included withdrawing a few hundred dollars at an ATM. If he was going to leave a trail for law enforcement to follow, it would be both convincing and convenient to pique their interest and make it a challenge. They would figure out that he went to St. Louis, but St. Louis was a mighty big place.

  After he arrived at that destination, Shad had plenty of time to walk with his overnight satchel and laptop over twenty blocks to the hotel. During his online time at the bookstore Shad selected this establishment as his base of operation.

  Since this was Thursday afternoon he had no trouble acquiring a room and paid for it with some of the cash. Despite his leisurely walk, July’s heat and the concrete conspired to make him sweat through the tan shorts and olive button-down shirt Shad wore, so he took a shower. After pulling on denim shorts and a t
eal tee shirt, he figured it was time to carry out the next part of his plan.

  Shad took a nap.

  Luckily his early morning and the afternoon heat combined into enough of a force to overcome Shad’s anxiety if the RAT had been activated, allowing him to fall asleep. When he awoke early in the evening, Shad took a stroll to a nearby burger joint to get a meal to take back to his room and eat. One of the reasons he didn’t dine at the restaurant was the storm blowing in. Large drops of rain began pelting the window in his room soon after Shad started eating, and he spent a while after his meal standing at that window and watching the wind create undulating curtains of water while lightning intermittently brightened the sky with outstretched bony fingers.

  It seemed a bit odd that things like crowds caused him emotional discomfort, but Shad was actually fascinated by storms. Loud noises always gave him an adrenaline jolt, but Shad learned long ago to suppress any reaction more active than a slight wince. He had made use of an unseasonable storm that wasn’t predicted to propose to Dulsie.

  Early in November, on a beautiful, bright day, they went hiking at a state park. They saw the storm blowing in and tried to retreat to the trailhead, but it was fast and overtook them just as they reached a small pavilion that was still a few hundred yards from the parking lot. The wind blasted rain and twigs into the shelter that provided little more than a roof, so Shad immediately turned his back to the gale and clasped Dulsie to his torso. It lasted only a few minutes, and Dulsie got wet, but he got drenched. After the isolated thunderstorm blew over, Dulsie laughed while she plucked off leaves and sticks that were plastered to his shirt. Shad told her that he wanted to always be there for Dulsie and share the rest of his life with her. Dulsie’s laughter faded into one of the sweetest smiles he’d ever seen.