Draw Me In
Page 13
“I really don’t mind,” Hailey said with a smile, an expression that didn’t quite meet her eyes. “There’s a good amount of downtime between clients sometimes.”
“Well, that’s fine. But make sure you’re spending as much time as you can building your portfolio. You can’t afford to slack off on your drawing. You’re my apprentice, so you’ve got to keep working.” I wasn’t sure where those words had come from.
Hailey glanced downward. “I wasn’t sure if you’d still want me to do that. You know, after—”
“Don’t worry about that.” I cut her off, jamming my hands in my pockets. “That was my fault, and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. So, while we’re waiting for a customer, why don’t you let me give you the passwords for our Facebook and Twitter and whatever.”
She smiled, and some of my tension melted. “Sure. That sounds great.”
Chapter Fourteen
Hailey
I laughed as Walt mimed choking to death, sprawling his gangly limbs over the long trestle table in a dramatic display. He almost landed an elbow into Courtney’s tomato soup.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Rose mumbled into her salad. “It just went down the wrong pipe.”
“I . . . hurck . . . can’t breathe . . . you guys . . . caramel death . . .” Walt’s eyes crossed as he hacked out the words. Slapping his palms down on either side of his bowl of pasta, he laughed. “So then I was trying to give her a bottle of water, and Lily said we should do the Heimlich—”
“I didn’t say that, because I don’t think you can call it that anymore,” Lily said, gesturing with her glass of lemonade. “What do you call it now? The choking maneuver? The unchoke?”
“The butt-humping lifesaver?” Walt threw in helpfully as Brian guffawed at the end of the table.
“I didn’t need it.” Rose’s red cheeks clashed with her dark pink top. “I coughed, it left, end of story.”
“So not the end of the story.” Walt waved his arms wildly as he cackled. “She shot the piece of caramel across the room—”
“And straight into Trent Everson’s beer,” Rose finished for him. She covered her face with her hand. “Oh my God, I’m still so mortified.”
I tried like hell to keep from laughing, but with everyone else at the table hooting, it was impossible. It felt good to let go, but I reined it in as quickly as I could, then patted Rose’s hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sure he understood.”
Rose mumbled her response: “I’ll never be able to look him in the face again.”
When the laughter had died down, we all fell silent for a few minutes as we worked on our lunches. I took a bite of my sandwich, glad I hadn’t opted for the heavy pasta Walt was working on. After all the laughing, I’d have felt sick eating that much.
As I chewed, looking around at my friends, I realized I’d missed this. Things had been so crazy over the last couple of weeks, the tension of Mom and Dad, the money thing, working at the shop, spending every free second learning about tattooing. I hadn’t been able to unwind, not really. Not like this. But being with Neill had been worth it, even as awkward and complicated as it was.
I picked at my bread, peeling off a piece of crust and smiling to myself as I thought of him. He’d been so sweet since that day we kissed and he ran. Distant but sweet. Now the most we ever touched was quick brushes when we were moving through a narrow space in the shop or handing over a client’s forms. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t want to kiss him again, didn’t want to know more about him. But when I’d tried to get him to open up, talk about his past, he’d shut down tight nearly instantly. It was a good thing, though, in all honesty.
I took another bite of sandwich, my friends’ voices beginning to sound around me. I wasn’t sure about relationships in general, but there was something about Neill that I felt drawn to. Even with him holding me at arm’s length. At least with the apprenticeship, I got to spend time with him. It was like a relationship without any of the potential problems.
“Hey, Hailey,” Brian said, yanking me from my daydream. “Have you finished that paper for religion class yet?”
“Oh, shit. No, I haven’t.” I sighed. “I’ve been so busy that I haven’t even thought about it. When’s it due again?”
“Next Tuesday, I think.” He crumpled his napkin and dropped it on the tray, deep blue to echo the school colors. “I’m mostly done, but I wasn’t sure how many paper sources we were supposed to cite?”
I winced, shoving my own tray back. No appetite now, that was for sure. “Maybe ten? I’m sorry, Bri, I really don’t know for certain.”
Brian gave me a halfhearted smile. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You have been busy lately,” Lily said, her silky black ponytail bobbing. “How’s the new job?”
But before I could answer, a male voice came from right behind me. “Hailey, might I have a word with you?”
Craaaap. The bottom dropped out of my stomach, but I pinned a polite smile on my face and turned to my adviser. Wearing a drab brown suit, his streaky hair a little more disheveled than usual, he looked stern, almost angry. And no wonder. I’d been avoiding him.
“Sure, Dr. Fields. I’ll be right back, guys.”
I scraped my chair back and followed him to a quieter section of the dining hall, around a corner from where I’d been sitting. The large E shape of the dining hall lent itself to several more private sections. As I walked with Dr. Fields, I rehearsed what I should probably say. Sorry, Dr. Fields, I’ve been busy. I went by your office to apologize for missing our last few meetings, but you were busy. I promise everything’s going fine.
He stopped toward the back corner of the private dining area, usually reserved for meetings. A bunch of empty tables surrounded us, the sky-blue tablecloths empty except for a tiny bud vase in the center of each. I sucked in a breath, ready to talk. But when he turned to face me, all my good intentions of apologies and making nice flew out the extra-tall dining hall windows.
“I am disappointed in you, Hailey.”
Well, that was direct. When I swallowed, it seemed like my sandwich was lodged somewhere deep in my throat. Dr. Fields was staring at me, hard. He wasn’t much taller than I was, but it felt like he was towering over me, raining disapproval down. I felt pinned like a butterfly in a shadow box collection.
“You have missed all our recent appointments. Your last paper for my class was excellent, but your other work has been substandard.” Dr. Fields lowered his voice to an emphatic whisper. “I’ve been forced to chase you down in the dining hall, of all places, in order to have a conversation with you. Now, I have told you how I feel about your working at a place like that, and you are proving my concerns right, Hailey. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
I toyed with the idea of telling him to leave me alone. I imagined myself raising my chin and telling him thanks but no thanks. Then I remembered all the help he’d given me over the past two years, and I just couldn’t do it. He was more like a dad to me than my own had been. I looked down at the white toes of my Chuck Taylors. “I’m sorry, Dr. Fields. I got a little bit distracted last week, but I promise I’m doing better now, and I—”
He stepped closer to me, and my heart thumped hard in alarm. “You are too close to the situation to see the downfalls, Hailey. I only have your interests at heart. This job situation is very unhealthy, and I believe you are using it to lash out at your parents. You need to quit that job. It’s your future I’m worried about. Your education is important, don’t you see that?”
I backed away, but I’d been only half a step from the wall in the first place. I bumped against it, my palms flat against the textured cream wallpaper. Trapped.
“Okay,” I said, looking anywhere but into his face. “No problem.” Anything to get him out of my space.
He waited a moment, then two. I was strangely aware of how loud my breathing was in the empty room. His body was close enough that I could smell his breath, and I fought to keep from wrinkling my nose in
disgust. Just a few yards away, my friends were talking and laughing. It was kind of premature to think of calling out to them, right? He’d never acted like this before.
Just when I thought I should run, he stepped back. “Good. You’ve made the right decision. I’ll look forward to seeing you tomorrow afternoon at two for our usual meeting. Please bring your calculus book. I’m sure you’ve fallen behind, and we can’t have that.”
He reached out and patted my arm gently. I fought the urge to jerk away. Which one of us was different? Was I reading something into the situation that wasn’t there?
“Tomorrow, Hailey.” He turned and left, arms swinging at his sides, humming as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Maybe it was me.
My knees wouldn’t hold me up anymore. I sank into the nearest chair, my breath shaking my entire body so hard that my dangly earrings jingled, tickling my neck.
Rubbing the pocket of my jeans where my cellphone rested, I wished so hard that I could talk to my mother. But those emails had gone unanswered, and the number was no longer in service. Nobody seemed to know where Mom had gone. It was like she’d flown off the face of the earth. Typical for Mom. She was always losing things. Only this time, the missing object was her.
Propping an elbow on the table beside me, I breathed deep, relishing the way the oxygen filled my twitchy, nervous lungs. My hair fell beside my face, a curtain that separated me from the ugliness that had just happened. I had no clue how to handle the problem. On one hand, Dr. Fields had never done anything like this until I got this job. So maybe the problem was my behavior. On the other, he hadn’t actually done anything to me. Creeped me out a bit? Yes. But that wasn’t illegal, right? I slapped my palm on the table, scowling at myself. I don’t have time for this right now. I shoved to my feet, putting the whole issue at the back of my mind. Feeling a lot more decisive and a little calmer, I made my way back to the table slowly, taking the time to compose myself before facing my friends again.
“Everything okay?” Lily said, concern in her expression.
I opened my mouth to say no, then thought better of it. What good would that do? Lily had enough on her plate with exams coming up. She’d already started popping six or seven antacids a day, cramming every night she could. There wasn’t room in Lily’s life for my problems. And the others . . . I glanced around the table and forced a smile. They were all still ragging on Rose, teasing and laughing about the caramel incident.
I looked back at Lily. “Oh yeah. Fine. No problem. Just have something I need to take care of this afternoon. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Lily nodded, turning her head so her silky black hair shone in the sunlight that poured through the window behind her. “Sure. No problem.”
Shouldering my bag, I lifted my tray and deposited it on the rolling belt at the back of the hall. The worry was creeping toward the front of my brain again. I guessed my decisiveness wasn’t as firm as I’d thought. I had to get off campus, away to my sanctuary. Even the art building wouldn’t do it right now; it was far too close to Dr. Fields. I wanted to be at Sinful Skin. More than that.
I wanted to be with Neill.
Neill
I looked up from the book in my lap as Hailey pushed through the shop’s door. I’d been trying to find reference material for a Norse tattoo that a client had requested, but all thoughts of Viking deities fled when I saw her face. Her cheeks were pale, almost tear-streaked. What the hell?
But she rushed past me, disappearing into the restroom and shutting the door behind her. I sank back into the chair I’d half risen from at her quick appearance, my brain buzzing.
Things had been going so well for the last couple of weeks. She’d done everything Tasha had been doing, with minimal help from me and the other guys. I’d been keeping a lid on my libido, and the two of us had been completely professional while working on her tattoo knowledge. I’d even been able to watch her draw without imagining her naked. Well, most of the time.
But something in my chest had twisted when I’d seen her so upset. That expression that had clouded her wide, bright eyes. She hadn’t seen me sitting there, in her chair. Was she sick? That would explain hiding in the bathroom.
I flipped past a depiction of Odin and Loki locked in battle, my brain still whirring. Had someone upset her? Had I upset her?
Roger poked his head around the corner. “Hey, I’m heading over to the drugstore, I’m out of smokes. Need anything?”
I kept from jumping at my sudden return from Worryland, but only just. “No, I’m good. Thanks anyway.”
“You got it.” Roger slapped the wall and disappeared out the front door.
Thankfully, that was just what I had needed. Roger was the one who’d reminded me that this was a business and I should keep my relationship with Hailey professional. Whatever was bothering her, it wasn’t my business unless it had something to do with Sinful Skin.
With that thought planted in concrete at the forefront of my brain, I went back to the book. I had a job to do, a concept to create that would make an epic back piece for a good customer. I’d already done a sleeve featuring tall ships and mermaids for this guy, so maybe Aegir the Norse sea god would work.
Another minute passed, and then the bathroom door squeaked open. My resolve wobbled when she appeared around the corner, still pale but quiet. I kept it solid, though. I had to, for us both.
“Hey there,” I said with a polite smile. “I’m working on a Norse piece for a guy. Want to help?”
“Sure,” she said, her voice so thin that it shoved jagged splinters through my heart. But I didn’t let my expression falter. I’d be strong.
“Great! Here, take this book, I’m going to grab Frankie’s iPad and swipe through some research really quick.” I passed over the book and moved past her, pretending not to see the tear that slid down her cheek.
Once in Frankie’s empty studio, I shut the door behind me and stared up at the painted- black ceiling. Goddammit, this wasn’t supposed to be so hard. She wasn’t supposed to cry. Seeing that tear had shattered the concrete around my resolve, and I desperately wanted to lunge at whatever had upset her, tearing it limb from limb.
But what if she’s crying for you?
My fucking subconscious could suck it.
I stalked across Frankie’s studio, nearly tripping over the edge of his camo-covered tattoo and piercing chair. Grabbing the iPad from its home in Frankie’s oak desk drawer, I stiffened my spine and my fake smile. She wasn’t crying for me. We weren’t anything to each other except artist and apprentice. That was it. And as far as I was concerned, that was all we’d ever be.
When I got back to her desk, Hailey was sitting in her chair, the book spread out on the counter in front of her. Normally, she was so excited when looking through art books, even history or mythology texts. That eye of hers was always working, that special way she had of seeing things. But today? Her cheek was propped in one hand as she casually leafed through the book with the other. Even with the sunshine pouring through the windows all around her, she seemed listless, joyless.
I shut my eyes for a second. I can’t care. I just can’t.
To keep from pulling her into my arms and begging her to let me help, I talked instead. “So, this guy has been coming into the shop for a long time. He’s got a full sleeve on one side and pieces on both legs. I’ve been trying to talk him into a big piece for his back forever, but he’s been saying no. Up until today.” I set the iPad down beside the book, completely ignoring Hailey. I was talking to thin air, as far as I was concerned. Completely fine, happy thin air. “He said something mythological, maybe Viking-related. ‘Whatever you want,’ he said. So, let’s see. Did you find anything?” I was forced to look over at her when she didn’t answer right away. “Hailey?”
She blew out a shaky breath. “Yeah, no, sorry. I’m sorry, Neill. Not yet.”
I stood, pushing my hands in my pockets. I didn’t want to go there. I shouldn’t. But I had to. “What’s wrong?”
“Is it the apprenticeship? I told you, if it’s too much, we can forget about it—”
“No!” She cut me off, looking up into my eyes for the first time that day. It hit me like a sucker punch in the guts. “No, it has nothing to do with that. I told you, I can handle it.”
I shook my head. “But if you’re having trouble getting to your classes, we can cut back the hours a little. Seriously. Maybe just work on the apprenticeship weekend mornings or something. It’s not a problem, really.”
Hailey stood, not standing as close as I wanted her to stand, but probably closer than was wise. “Please don’t take it away from me,” she whispered, eyes shining. “I . . .”
I stepped backward. “If you say it’s fine, then it’s fine. No problem.” I shoved a hand through my hair. “Okay, well, let’s talk about this tattoo, then. I’m thinking maybe Aegir, swirling above a whirlpool, and some lightning coming out over here . . .”
As I talked, I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. She was trying to pay attention, but those damn tears were sliding down her cheeks again. What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn’t stand this, I really couldn’t.
Fortunately for my wavering resolve, a customer came in right then.
“Hey, how are you?” I escorted the guy and his girlfriend to my studio after a quick conversation, grabbing the paperwork on my way. I could handle it, and maybe Hailey could use the time to pull herself back together. As much as I wanted to be the one to do it, I knew better. That slope was too slippery as it was.
Two days later, I was ready to rip my own hair out by the roots. I paced through my living room, my heels making giant thuds on the polished floor, glaring at the clock that kept reminding me I had to be at work in a mere ten minutes.