Chameleon Soul (Chequered Flag #1)

by Mia Hoddell

  “I want you. Right now.”

  Teo filled my vision, blocking out the rest of the world. He leaned forward and I held my breath in anticipation of his kiss. My eyes shut on instinct, but it never came.

  His mouth returned to my ear, his deep chuckle making my knees want to buckle. “We’re on a public go-kart track, baby.”

  “I don’t care.”

  I really didn’t. If he didn’t do something soon I was going to combust on the spot out of longing. I knew he wanted me too because I could feel his hardness pressing against me.

  “Really? You wouldn’t care if I turned you around, bent you over the fence, pulled these tiny shorts that can barely be classed as clothing down, and fucked you right here?”

  I gulped, swallowing hard. His words had my insides tightening with need.

  “You hired the whole place out. It’s only us,” I said, my voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

  Temptation flashed in his eyes, combined with an intense heat darkening them. “Shit,” he hissed, shaking his head as if trying to clear it.

  Suddenly Teo ripped me away from the fence, his grip on my wrist unbearably tight as he led me back to the car park.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Somewhere private. I’m not going to fuck you over a fence post, Raindrop.” He threw me a salacious grin over the roof of the car. “Not yet, anyway.”

  * * *

  I didn’t know where we were heading except that Teo was in a rush to get there. It was also a good thing Teo raced professionally because he didn’t stick to the speed limit once.

  Soon we pulled up in front of a quaint, detached house. Made of grey stone, it was surrounded by a small, well-tended garden and centred in the middle of a traditional British country village.

  “Where are we?”

  “My house,” he said, casting me a sidelong look and parking the car in the driveway.

  Glancing around the evenly spaced houses, confusion began to dampen the desire that had been flowing through me. It didn’t look like something one of the richest, most desirable sports personalities would own. I expected penthouses in Monaco, or modern flats. Then again, that had never been Teo either.

  “This is yours?”

  “Yeah, why? You don’t like it?”

  “It looks great, although it’s not really the player’s bachelor pad I imagined. It’s more like a family home.”

  He sighed and switched off the engine, a different emotion entirely gracing his face. Like he’d just climbed out of a cold shower, all lust had vanished. The corners of his mouth tilted down and his eyes were lowered, not totally meeting my gaze.

  “That was the intention,” he said.

  “Oh…I didn’t, um…I didn’t know you were thinking about that kind of thing. I thought you were just having fun.”

  I couldn’t bring myself to voice what I really thought of his flings again. It hadn’t ended well last time. However, the thought of him settling down with any of his groupies stung more than the original thought that he had sex with anything that had boobs.

  I gazed out the window, the gravelled path leading to the front door suddenly so interesting. I didn’t see him reach across the centre console. Teo’s warm, surprisingly soft, and large hand covered mine completely on my thigh. Even the slightest touch from him had an electric current humming through my body.

  “I bought this place before we split up, Raine. I was going to ask you to move in with me.”

  My jaw fell slack and my eyes widened. “You what?”

  “I bought it for us. I was going to ask you after the first race once all of the paperwork had gone through, but…”

  The words didn’t need to be spoken, yet I couldn’t help myself.

  “But I left you.” It was only a whisper. My mind raced, thinking of how different things could have been had I let him in. “I had no idea.”

  “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

  Tears pricked at my eyes, regret overwhelming me. Even though I stood by my decision not to put his career in jeopardy, it didn’t soothe the ache that came from knowing he was planning all of this while I had been persuading Dustin to help me get away from him.

  “Hey,” he said gently, and his hand moved from my thigh to my cheek. “I didn’t want you to cry, baby. That’s not why I told you.”

  “I’m so sorry, Teo.”

  He caught the lone tear trickling over my cheekbone with his thumb, wiping it away. “You had your reasons, I know that now. I’d love to hear them one day.” I leaned further into his palm, screwing my eyes shut and hoping it would stop the barrage of tears wanting to break free.

  “Come on, let’s go inside.”

  His door clicked open, and when the heat from his hand left me I opened my eyes. I reached for the door, but Teo was already around the front of the car and opening it. He offered me his hand, coaxing me from the car, and as soon as I stepped out I was in his arms again. I buried my face in his neck, breathing him in and holding him as tightly as he held me.

  “I love you, Teo,” I murmured. I meant it with my whole heart; I wasn’t just saying the words to try and make the situation better.

  “I love you too, Raindrop. Never stopped, never will.” He crushed me with the fierceness of his grip, but I felt too good to complain about the lack of air I was drawing in. I never wanted to be separated from him again.

  * * *

  We were curled up on the sofa and had been there for fifteen minutes in silence. My head rested on Teo’s chest, feeling it rise and fall with his steady breathing while he wound and unwound my hair around his fingers. The subtle tugs and strokes had my eyes shutting sleepily. Neither of us needed to speak to fill the void, yet in truth I think we both needed the time to process everything. We’d gone from taking it slow to heated and intense desire before opening old wounds.

  “Why did you keep it?” I enquired quietly.

  “Why did I keep the house, you mean?”

  I nodded against him. I couldn’t figure out why he’d keep such a painful reminder. It was clear from the brief tour he’d given me that he hadn’t turned it into the home he’d intended. The bare walls, minimal furniture, and cold colours gave the house a clinical feeling rather than the warmth and life it should have been filled with.

  “I don’t know. A part of it was I was too busy to do anything about it, and it was easy to ignore. It wasn’t losing me money either so I didn’t bother selling.”

  “And the other part?” I probed when he paused.

  “I guess the other reason was because it felt like I still had a chance to be with you again as long as I kept it. Selling felt like I was cutting the only tether I had to you, and even if I should have, I couldn’t.”

  My heart constricted at his words and the honesty in his eyes. He didn’t bother to hide the raw emotions on his face when he glanced down with a sad smile.

  “So you’ve never brought anyone else here?”

  “No, Raindrop. This house is for us, and only us, to share. No one but you will ever stay here.” He raised a hand, brushing a tendril of hair back behind my ear. It lingered on my jaw, sliding over my skin with care and drawing me up to him. Angling his head to one side, I fitted in with him until our lips grazed each other.

  Unlike back at the track where we’d been consumed with need, this kiss was soft and full of love. Teo transferred every emotion into the way his mouth melded against mine.

  Without breaking our connection, I crawled onto his lap and sat astride his thighs. Teo’s hands dropped to cup my ass while mine moved to his face, stroking the rough stubble on his chin. He pulled on my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth and causing me to moan against him. His tongue swirled against mine as he shifted beneath me. Sliding us around, his hands held my back and gently lowered me down to the sofa. Automatically, my legs parted for him, allowing him to settle between them.

  He drew back ever so slightly to gaze down at me. His strong arms supported him on either side of m
y head and a smile curved his lips. The adoration on his face had my heart swelling.

  “You’re gorgeous,” he marvelled, almost sounding as if he was talking to himself. His finger traced a path down my cheek and to my neck to stop at the edge of my top above my breasts. He followed the edge of my shirt, his finger dipping and rising with my curves before he began running it down the side. All the while his eyes remained fixed on mine.

  When his hand closed around my hip, sliding back up over the patch of skin exposed between my top and shorts, I stiffened. Like someone had thrown a bucket full of iced water over me, his touch sent a jolt down my spine causing me to become rigid beneath him.

  Any higher and he’d be right on top of my scar.

  I reached down and grabbed his wrist, stilling the movement. He removed his hand, bringing it up between the two of us to trace my bottom lip again. Sadness marred the loving gaze he’d looked at me with only seconds ago.

  “I know about the scar, Raine.”

  His words knocked all of the air from my lungs so my words came out with a gasp.

  “How?”

  I was already planning ways to kill Dustin in my head.

  “I saw it when Dustin carried you home last night.”

  I swallowed hard, closing my eyes tightly shut and nodding. It sounded logical, but it didn’t make it any easier to deal with. I retracted every bad thought about Dustin and held my breath. Only when Teo ran the back of his hand over my cheek did the warmth dull the paralysis.

  “What happened, baby?”

  I gazed up at him with fearful eyes. The burning pressure in my lungs became too much, forcing me to exhale.

  Teo’s expression fell, disheartened by my lack of response. He broke away from my gaze, lowering his eyes between us and taking a deep breath. When he glanced back up, he appeared resigned.

  “If I stop asking, will you tell me when you feel ready?”

  “I’ll…I’ll try.”

  I knew I needed to tell him soon, but I didn’t want a good day to be ruined by the past. At least if I told him another day and it caused an argument, I’d have this day to look back upon happily.

  “Can I…can I see it?”

  I shut my eyes, fighting against the anxiety rising within me. This was Teo. He’d never hurt me.

  Not able to meet his gaze, I jerked my head once before I could change my mind. I expected to feel my top being pushed up immediately and him prodding at it. Instead, he moved closer to me. His warmth poured over me, forcing me to open my eyes to see his nose skimming mine as he watched me intently.

  “I don’t have to, Raine. You can say no.” His voice was gentle, as if he was worried I’d break.

  “No, it’s okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” It came out as a whisper.

  Teo placed a tender kiss on my lips then disappeared from above me. His lips trailed over my body, down my neck, over my breasts, and down my stomach. Finally, his hands found the hem of my top and he slid it up with deliberate movements. When it rose just above my navel he stopped and I turned my head to the side, not wanting to witness his reaction.

  A single finger traced the ugly line I’d studied so many times. Five inches long, it stretched from slightly above my hip down to the centre of my stomach diagonally. The pasty white colour stood out even against my pale complexion. I’d lost my natural tan when I refused to leave the house, and I didn’t have the confidence to strip for a spray tan. It’s not like I showed my body off to anyone so I left it alone, trying my best to ignore the fact I carried a permanent brand from the events of that night.

  I was shaken from my thoughts when Teo’s lips touched the centre of the scar. Searing hot against my skin, the heat radiated over me and I fought the instinct to recoil.

  After a second he parted and returned my top to normal. Crawling back up my body he looked me dead in the eye, his gaze filled with so many emotions—sadness, uncertainty, desperation, longing, and sympathy.

  “Thank you.”

  He didn’t say anything else. Rather than bombard me with questions, he lay down beside me and hugged me to his chest, allowing everything to sink in.

  * * *

  I must have fallen asleep at some point, because when I woke up the sun was beginning to set. It took me a second to register the knocking on the front door as the sound that had woken me. Glancing around the room, I searched for Teo, but he was nowhere in sight. I’d just noticed the sound of the shower when the knock came again, only this time it was incessant thumps pounding against the wood like someone was trying to break the damned thing down.

  “Raindrop, can you get that?” Teo shouted from the shower. “It’s probably the takeout I ordered. It’s all paid for.”

  Hauling myself from the sofa, I decided if it happened to be the takeout, the guy wasn’t getting a tip. No one needed to hammer a door that hard.

  When there was a moment of reprieve I quickened my steps and yanked the door open so it didn’t start again. My polite smile dropped the moment my eyes set upon who was standing there. Too shocked to hide my fear, I took a step back as my eyes widened.

  “Raine, what a nice surprise. I didn’t expect to find you here.”

  “No. No, no, no.” I backed further away, moving to close the door on Aston’s surprised leer. His hand shot out to stop me.

  “W-what are y-you doing here?” I struggled to get the words out, close to hyperventilating. My heart beat faster than a hummingbird’s wings in my chest, and my legs weakened beneath me, so the door supported most of my weight.

  “Came to see Coates.” I twisted to shout for Teo over my shoulder, figuring he could deal with the bastard, but Aston cut me off. “Ah ah, no need to disturb him. You’ll work much better actually.”

  I shrank back against the door, attempting to position the wood between us when he stepped forward. No matter how much I resented cowering from him, I couldn’t summon the courage to meet the black pools in his eyes. I kept my gaze focused on the street over his shoulder and concentrated on trying to stop my trembles from showing. “Haven’t you done enough? Why can’t you leave me alone?”

  “See, that’s the thing, darlin’. I would if you left Coates alone. As long as you’re together, you’re fair game.” He braced an arm against the doorframe, leaning against it casually. Behind me I heard the shower cut off, and panic shot through my heart. Teo couldn’t find me talking to Aston. I’d have no way to cover everything if that situation arose.

  “You need to leave.”

  “You haven’t told him then?” He smirked at me, his gaze flicking over my head to the stairs where I could hear the shower door opening.

  “You need to leave, Aston,” I tried again, forcing the wobble from my voice.

  “So do you, doll. Leave Teo like you did last time. This is the only warning I’m going to give you. If you want to stay out of the media and out of the firing line, you’ll walk away and never look back.”

  A door clicked open at the top of the stairs and I paled. Dread settled in my stomach and nausea churned within me.

  “Do we have an understanding?”

  Footsteps trailed across the landing, increasing the racing beat of my heart. Hoping it would get rid of Aston, I nodded.

  “Good. Nice talking to you, darlin’. Stay safe.”

  The second he turned his back on me I slammed the door shut, collapsing against it and taking a shaky breath. I bent over to grab my knee with one hand and pinched the bridge of my nose. Screwing my eyes shut, I focused on regaining control of my body.

  “Are you okay, Raindrop? Who was at the door?” Teo’s voice had me snapping my eyes open. I hadn’t even heard him come down the stairs.

  Bile rose in my throat from nerves, a light sweat breaking out on my forehead.

  Even the fact Teo stood in front of me in only a pair of jeans with his dark brown hair dripping water over his toned body had no effect on me. My mind was trying to cope with the overload of information
.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’m fine.” I blinked hard. “Really.”

  The sound that came from the back of his throat did nothing to assuage the fear rising in my chest. It was pure disbelief.

  “Who was at the door?”

  I batted away his comment, stepping out of reach and heading back into the living room. My legs weren’t going to support me much longer and I needed a chair. It also turned my back on Teo so he wouldn’t be able to read the lie on my face.

  “Oh, only someone asking for directions. I couldn’t help them.”

  I collapsed on the sofa and exhaled heavily.

  He rounded the corner of the sofa, eyeing me suspiciously. “Then why do you look so pale?”

  I gazed up at him with a hopeful smile. “Low blood sugar?”

  “Nice try, baby, but I’m not buying it.”

  He eased himself into the seat next to me. I had no idea what to say, and mercifully another knock at the door saved me.

  “That’ll be the food, unless your lost person is back.” Teo stood, and then as if having second thoughts, glanced over his shoulder. “This isn’t over, Raindrop.”

  Yes it was. I’d made up my mind, and I wasn’t going to ruin the night. Aston had done that already.

  All I wanted was one night with the guy I loved before everything went to hell.

  Teo hurried off to get the food, and I used the time to shake off the lingering nausea caused by Aston’s presence. When Teo returned, he headed straight for the kitchen. I thought it best not to follow him for fear of being cornered, yet he shouted through the door, “You do still like sweet and sour chicken, right? It used to be your favourite so it’s what I ordered.”

  I hovered at the opposite end of the room. “I’m surprised you remember that.”

  “How could I forget? After two years of Chinese Fridays where you ordered the same thing, I don’t think I could ever forget.”

  I laughed, remembering the only time he’d convinced me to try something new—Char Siu Fried Noodles. I’d ended up with a burning mouth and had to bribe Teo into giving me his Chow Mein. I’d never experimented since.