by Mia Hoddell
“Not really.”
“Well tough shit.” He pointed at the bed. “Sit.”
I grumbled and followed his directions. Leaning back against the headboard, I kicked my feet up on the mattress.
“Why the hell are you not back with Raine? You love her, she loves you, all secrets are out in the open, but instead you choose to run away for weeks. And I know the only reason you’re here in the country now is because your next race is Silverstone. Why?”
Figuring things would go a lot quicker if I was honest and I could get back to listening to her voicemails I gave Mickey the truth. “How can I face her again knowing she’s broken because of me?”
“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
I dropped my feet to the floor, rounding on him with a heated glare. “No, I’m not kidding. She’s in this state because of me and I can’t risk her safety again. Being with me puts her in danger.”
“Fuck, I thought you were smarter than this, Teo.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I cried, standing up so I towered over him.
“It means you’re being ridiculous.” He held up a hand to silence my protest. “The only way for you to have spared Raine was for you to have never known her, and honestly I don’t think you’d be here without her. I’m not talking about after the attack either. She’s your other half, Teo. She pushes you and makes you want to be better. You have never looked at anyone the way you look at her. Without her you’re a shell of a man.”
“It’s still my fault. Aston used her to get to me.”
“What were you supposed to do, lock her away and visit her in secret? You did nothing out of the ordinary. Hattersey is the only one to blame here. He didn’t have to go as far as he did, you didn’t make him cheat, and you definitely didn’t cause him to hire people to attack her.”
“I should have picked her up. If I’d not been so lazy and made her walk then—”
“Then Aston would have got to her when you weren’t around.”
I sank back down on the mattress and hung my head in my hands. “It kills me he’s getting away with this. I couldn’t stand it if she got hurt again.”
“You’re the one hurting her right now; you’re hurting both of you.”
I looked up at him through my eyelashes. “I know.”
“Raine’s smart, Teo. She knows the risks and I doubt Hattersey will go after her again, not physically anyway. It’s too risky now we know the truth.”
“What if he does and she leaves me again?”
“She won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because she only left so you wouldn’t have to choose between her and your career. You’ve made it now Teo. Unless you do something incredibly stupid to fuck it all up then your seat is pretty secure on the grid. I’m already getting offers from other teams who want to poach you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She loves you. You just have to be strong enough together to prevent Aston affecting you. And the only way you’re going to get to that point is if you actually talk to her. Right now you’re letting Hattersey win.”
“I guess you’re right. I’ll talk to her after the race on Sunday. It’ll be better in person.”
Mickey gave me a disapproving look, which I ignored. After the race would be best, even if it meant waiting an extra three days, because I had an idea.
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
Raine
Race Day
I paced the length of the flat repeatedly. Every so often I shook my hands in front of me as if it would magically dispel the anxiety and hesitation as I moved in front of Dustin’s door. Countless times I’d raised my hand to knock—because I’d learnt my lesson about charging in—and then dropped it and returned to pacing.
This time I’d do it, though.
Halting my steps, I stood in front of the door, aware that I was going to be cutting it close if he agreed, which wasn’t a guarantee because of his foul mood. Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand but couldn’t bring myself to knock.
“I know you’re out there, Raine. I’ve seen your shadow moving around for the last half an hour,” Dustin called from the other side of the door.
I paused for a second, trying to figure out if I really wanted to do what I was thinking about. Swallowing my fear, I opened the door.
“I need you to take me to Silverstone.”
The words fell from my lips in a jumble, as if speaking them quickly would make them less real and scary.
Dustin swivelled on his chair to look at me with a confused frown. “I’m sorry?”
“I need you to take me to Silverstone.”
“You do know it’s a race day, right?”
“Of course I know. That’s why I need to be there. I’m done waiting for him to make a decision. If he won’t fight for me then I’m going to fight for him. This has gone on long enough.”
Dustin watched me sceptically. “Do you have a ticket?”
“No, that’s why I need you. I’m hoping you can get me in and be my moral support.”
He glanced up at the clock, his mouth twisting in thought. “You’re ready to go right this second?”
I nodded.
Grabbing his jacket off the chair, along with his car key, he stood. “Come on then.”
* * *
I sat in the car with my head between my knees. I’d taken one look at the thousands of people milling around waiting for the race to start then dived into the foot well.
“This was a stupid idea. I shouldn’t have come. Why did I think I’d be able to deal with a crowd this large?”
“Because you love Teo and you don’t want to give up on him,” Dustin said. He leaned back against the driver’s seat casually, his hands resting loosely on the steering wheel.
“Yeah right…that.”
I concentrated on levelling my breathing. I could do this. There was no reason anything inside the paddock was a threat. I was safe with Dustin and I needed to speak with Teo. All of the people around me wanted to have a good time at the race. They didn’t care who I was.
“We can head home if you want.” He sounded exasperated by the thought.
I shook my head. “No. I need to do this. It’s time I got over this thing and stopped Aston winning. I didn’t allow him to mess with Teo so why should I allow him into my head?” I slid back to the chair to glance around the car park once more. “There’s just so many people,” I murmured, my eyes bugging from my head at the sight.
Dustin dipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a deck of cards.
I arched an eyebrow. “Really?”
“I’ll never know when I’ll need them,” he said, sliding the deck from the box and shuffling them. Holding them out in a fan he said, “Pick one.”
“I don’t think this is going to help me get out of the car, Dustin.”
“Just pick one.”
Humouring him, I took one from the deck, glanced down to see the queen of hearts and held it to my chest. “Now what?”
“You’re holding the queen of hearts.”
My mouth dropped, shock displayed all over my face. “H-how…did you…do that? You actually got a trick right!”
I turned the card around for him to see.
“That wasn’t really the trick, there’s a mirror behind you and I figured what the hell, why not run with it?”
I glanced over my shoulder, checking the reflection in the wing mirror. When I turned back to him I rolled my eyes. “You should have kept running with it. You actually impressed me there for a second.”
“Anyway…” He drew the word out. “You ready to go in now? I think you’re calm enough.”
With a deep breath, I nodded. I was determined to beat my anxiety. “You’ll stay by my side the whole time?”
“Haven’t I always?”
I nodded again and opened my door. Stepping onto the smooth tarmac I waited for Dustin to round the front of the car and appear next to me.
Together we headed towards the team entrance, moving away from the public much to my relief. A tall, beefy security guard stood on the door at the back of the garages, dark sunglasses covering half his face and his hands linked loosely behind his back.
“Hey, Mac. Mind if we go in to see Teo? He said we could watch the race from his garage.”
I couldn’t tell what the guy was thinking behind the dark glasses, but I could feel his heated stare as he regarded us both. It didn’t make me feel any more confident that Dustin seemed to know him.
“None of his team informed me you were coming.”
“Really, Mac? We’re here to surprise him. It’s not like we’re strangers.”
He raised a hand and pointed at me. “She is.”
“This is Teo’s girlfriend and my best friend, she’s cool.”
Mac didn’t look convinced, although his facial expression hardly changed so that could have just been me.
“Please, Mac. I’ll owe you one.”
“Fine, go on in, but if anyone asks, it wasn’t me.”
Dustin pulled me past the guard too quickly for me to utter my thanks. Slipping into the pristine, white, shiny corridor that had so many turns it reminded me of a maze, Dustin pulled me past a series of doors until we were out in the pit lane. At the sudden amount of people I tensed then forced my body to relax.
I will not run. I. Will. Not. Run, I chanted internally, taking a series of calming breaths and adjusting to the numbers of people surrounding us.
“You’re doing great, Raine.”
I nodded sharply. “How do we find him?”
I caught sight of Mickey and without thinking I took off after him. The only thing that seemed important in that second was getting to Teo and Mickey was my ticket to do so. Despite what Dustin had said, we wouldn’t get into Teo’s garage without direct permission.
“Mickey!” I shouted, pushing past a few people. “Mickey!”
People were starting to stare at me, yet I ignored them. When Mickey turned, surprise registered all over his face. I pulled to a stop in front of him, panting from the short run.
“Where is he?” I asked desperately, clutching at his bicep. “Where’s Teo?”
“What are you doing here, Raine?” His hands landed on my shoulders to still my nervous shuffling. The burst of confidence began to desert me as people started to crowd us.
“I’m here to talk to him. I can’t wait for him to call anymore.”
“And you think now’s a good time? He’s about to start his home race from pole.”
“I know, I know, but it was the only time I could summon the courage to do this. I need him, Mickey, and he needs me. I know it.”
“I’m not going to argue with you there.”
Hope flared in my chest. Like a flower unfurling in the sun it spread out through my chest leaving trails of warmth. “Can you take me to him?”
“Yes, though you’re going to have to be quick.”
I threw my arms around his neck without thinking, squealing next to his ear. “Thank you.”
“You’re too good for him, you know that?” Mickey said around a laugh as he prised my arms from his neck.
Dustin caught up with us as he was about to lead me away. “You good?”
I nodded and Mickey sighed at him. “I suppose you want to get in the garage too?”
“No, it’s okay. I’m not staying.” His face darkened and his fists clenched at his side.
“What? You said you’d be there for me!” I cried.
“Something’s come up. I’m sorry, Raine, you’ll be great. You don’t need me.”
Dustin never mentioned having anything to do and he only got that defensive look when he was doing one thing.
“You’re going to see her, aren’t you?”
“I told you, I have some stuff to take care of.”
“Don’t do it, Dustin. She’s only going to mess with your friggin’ head again.”
Dustin drew me into his embrace. “Raine, listen to me. I’m a big guy and I can take care of myself. Anyway, you don’t need me anymore; you have Teo now. And you don’t really need him. You did all of this by yourself, Raine. This was your decision…your choice. Finish what you started and let me finish mine.”
I don’t know why but his speech choked me up. Maybe it was because I’d seen how he ‘took care of himself’ and how badly Elora affected him. Still, I knew nothing I could say would change his mind.
“You know I’m here for you, right? No matter what.”
“I know, sweet girl. But you deserve to be happy now. I’m not going to burden you with this.” He hugged me tightly until a throat cleared behind us.
“I don’t want to interrupt. However, if you want to see Teo before the race you’re going to have to come with me now.”
Dustin released me. “Go. Give my jackass of a brother hell for putting you through all of this.”
“Thank you.” Straining to my tiptoes I kissed his cheek and jogged off with Mickey through the garage to the drivers’ rooms. He had his hand outstretched to open the door labelled ‘Coates’ when it was removed from his path.
At the gasp from the other side, I raised my head and met Teo’s surprised gaze. His warm brown eyes sent a jolt of longing through my body and when he whispered my name, I thought my knees would give way.
God I missed him.
“I’ll leave you two alone. You have seven minutes, Teo,” Mickey said, but neither of us acknowledged him as he slipped away. We were both transfixed by each other, our gazes not moving.
“Uh…can I come in so we don’t have to do this out in the hall?”
He blinked a few times and then stepped back to allow me past him. The second the door clicked shut, Teo forced me against it, and his lips were on mine. Demanding and hungry, he claimed me with his mouth so furiously that I couldn’t remember a single thing I wanted to say.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I was an idiot,” he murmured against my lips, eventually drawing away to rest his forehead against mine. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, one of us has to be the smart one in the relationship and seeing as you admitted to being an idiot, I guess it’s me. If you won’t fight for me, then I’ll fight for you.”
I squealed when my feet suddenly left the floor. My legs wrapped around Teo’s waist automatically and he cradled my ass to hold me against him. “You’re definitely the smart one.” He brought his lips down to mine once more. “I really am sorry, Raindrop. I wasn’t mad at you, I just didn’t know how to apologise for everything. The longer I stayed away the harder it was to say anything at all. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, but I’ll spend forever making it up to you.”
I pulled back to stare down at him in confusion. “What did you have to apologise for?”
Teo placed me on the floor, my body sliding down his as he guided us over to the white sofa. “I blame myself for what Aston did to you.”
“That’s stupid. It wasn’t your fault.”
“We’ve already established you’re the smart one in the relationship.” He glanced up at the clock over my shoulder nervously. The happiness in his eyes dimmed with guilt. “Can we talk about this after? I really have to get down to the grid.”
“Of course, but you’d better win.”
He placed a chaste kiss to my forehead. “I will. I’m done letting Aston fuck with us.”
Pulling me up off the chair, he led me out into the garage where Mickey waited with a pass for me so I could stay.
“I’ll see you soon, Raindrop.” He kissed me again. “And look out for my helmet, yeah? There’s something on it you’ll want to see.”
Before I could ask what he meant he was jogging off down the pit lane, pulling up his race suit as he went.
“Mickey, why am I meant to look out for his helmet?”
He smiled knowingly. “You’ll see.”
Chapter Thirty
Teo
She came to me.
Opening that door
to find her there was the best and worst feeling ever. Pure elation had filled me at the sight of her only to be replaced by dread that she was about to say I’d waited too long. However, to know she was still on my side as I slid into the cockpit of my car and fitted the steering wheel in place had me unable to control my wide grin.
I was going to win, and I was going to do it for her. I wore her name inside a heart on my helmet, the only gesture I could think of in case I didn’t see her before the race. It was nowhere near enough, but I planned on having forever to make it up to her if she’d let me.
The only thing that mattered was she hadn’t given up on me. Hell, she’d even confronted her fear to get to me.
As I pulled away on the formation lap and rounded the track, swerving to heat the tyres, I had to push her from my thoughts completely. By the time I returned to my box to sit and wait for the lights my focus was solely on winning. I glanced over at Aston briefly; his face was obscured behind his darkened visor.
I was going to ruin his fucking career after the shit he’d pulled.
He would never touch my girl again.
Above me the lights turned red one by one. As soon as they vanished I shot forward, only focused on getting to the corner first.
Chapter
Thirty-One
Raine
It was the penultimate lap and it was too close to call. Teo and Aston were almost wheel to wheel as they sped around the track, Aston desperate to find a way past him. The nose of his car was dangerously close to skimming Teo’s back tyre like last year when he spun Teo out of the race. I couldn’t believe he’d be able to pull off the move a second time, but I had to sit on my hands to stop myself biting my nails.
Along with everyone else I perched on the edge of my seat, willing Teo to hold onto his position. I held my breath as he steered the car through the corners. The crowd roared loud enough to be heard over the engines, all eager for Teo to win his home race. The amount of Union Jacks out there with his name on was overwhelming.
