Ruined (The Seraphim Series Book 1)

by Sophia Stafford

  Lilliah grabbed the white top off the bed and got changed in the bathroom. It was way too big and hung around her loosely, stopping just above her knees. It was plain but warm, and it would do, she decided, taking one last look in the mirror. Her hair was slowly air-drying and hung around her face. Grabbing a quick hair band from the side, she pulled it all back, keeping it away from her face and trying not to wince from her bruised scalp.

  “I think I should cut my hair off,” she said, walking into the bedroom again, now feeling cosy in the dressing gown. “It keeps getting pulled.” She didn’t have to specify by whom.

  “No. Don't cut it.” He handed her the tea. “I love your hair.”

  “You do?” She smiled, a blush warming her cheeks. “But it’s getting to be more of a burden.”

  It was obvious they were both avoiding something. Tension sizzled in the air between them as Lilliah sipped on her drink.

  “We have to talk about what happened,” Azrael started, as if he were reading her mind. Lilliah agreed, turning her body so she was facing him. “I want to know everything that happened tonight. Leave no details out.”

  “Okay, but can we get in bed?” she suggested. Not waiting for his answer, she stood and walked around the bed and got in. Slowly, she smiled innocently up at him as he did the same.

  “You’re still wearing your clothes.” She pointed. “You won’t be comfortable in your trousers and top.” She wanted to jump on the bed as Azrael stood and slowly started to unbutton his shirt, revealing his perfect abs. Her breath died in her throat as she caught a glimpse of the markings on his back. They were magnificent and manly and just Azrael, she realised, trying to suppress the need to trace her fingers over them. He discarded his shirt and quickly turned to his trousers, stepping out of them and throwing them on the floor.

  “You really do only wear black, don't you?” Lilliah gulped at his black underwear.

  “Yes,” he said, getting into bed next to her.

  “Why?” she asked, turning on her side.

  “I like to blend in.” He shrugged, folding his hands under his head as he stared up at the ceiling. “I prefer to observe.”

  “Why?” she pressed further.

  “Because I do.” He laughed, turning to look at her. “Stop trying to distract me. I want to know what Dena did to you.”

  “I'm not.” She knew she was. “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything. Start from the beginning. Tell me what she said and what she did. I want to know it all.”

  “Why?” she asked again. Wasn’t the fact that she had tried to kill her enough? Why did he need to know any more?

  “Because I do. She walked into my house and tried to kill you, your brother, and your friend. I want to know it all so when I find her, I know what I’m killing her for.”

  Lilliah gulped at the thought of more killing. She felt as if she had been surrounded by it recently. “So you are going to kill her then?”

  “Of course.”

  He made it sound like it was the obvious choice and that she was stupid to think otherwise. But Dena had been his friend. For a moment, Lilliah really wasn’t sure. “I was just wondering. You have known her for a long time.”

  “Dena was a helping hand, nothing more. She was ruthless, brutal. There were a few occasions over the years where those particular traits came in useful.” Lilliah didn’t doubt it for a second. Dena was a killing machine. “She was unfeeling and would never ask questions, which is why I want to know: what did she do to you? I know what she's capable of.”

  Dena had worked for Azrael. She had killed people for him. The revelation shouldn’t have been that surprising. She had never been told what kind of business Azrael dealt with, but she could have guessed. The strange men she had seen around the mansion. The half conversations she had heard between Azrael and Benedict. Dena had been his assassin, although Lilliah felt like her attack had been a little more personal.

  “You used to be together.” She wasn’t asking. She knew the answer.

  “It was never anything serious. She was nothing more than a passing distraction. My whole existence was about finding you. At the time, it was for the wrong reasons.”

  “To kill me and use my blood,” she clarified without hesitation. She had become so used to the idea of people killing her for her blood that it was a little scary.

  “Yes,” he agreed, turning to look into her eyes. “And she fit into that plan. I knew Benedict never agreed with it. But because of his oath to me, he stuck around and would have done anything I asked him to. But I never did. Dena, on the other hand . . . Dena was the one who wanted blood, no matter whose it was, so she helped me track you.”

  “I can imagine.” She didn’t want all the images of Dena and Azrael swirling through her head, but there they were, and they made her want to gag. “She made it sound like it was more. She said that you used to lie in bed talking about how you wanted to kill me.”

  Azrael’s body stiffened. “There was a time when all I could think about was killing you. I was deranged and completely engrossed with the idea of getting into Heaven again. I promised her a few drops of your blood. It would have given her a few extra years.”

  Lilliah listened silently, her heart thumping in her chest and tears burning the back of her eyes.

  “There were times when yes, we did sleep together. But she is nothing—just a face, a distraction. The only thing we had in common was wanting to kill you.” He turned his body so he was now facing her. “You have to believe me, Lilliah. I have never and will never love her.”

  Finally, Lilliah let out a breath. She’d needed to hear him say it.

  “Please, believe me when I say, anyone who lays one finger on you or hurts you in any way, I will obliterate.” She believed him. “So tell me from the beginning, what did she do to you?”

  Lilliah started from the beginning, telling him move for move what Dena had said and done, trying not to shiver at the memory as the whole violent night came crashing back to her.

  “I'm going to rip her limb from limb.” Azrael seethed, jumping from the bed to pace once Lilliah had finally finished telling him everything. “I'm going to make it my main priority to personally ruin her. I'll make her suffer, scream, and beg me to stop.” Lilliah sat up in the bed, watching him seethe and pace. “I left you. I put you in danger,” she could hear him mutter to himself.

  “It wasn’t your fault, Azrael,” she defended, crawling to the side of the bed and kneeling. “It was your house. I had been safe there before.”

  “I knew what Dena was capable of. I knew and I still left you. Dena must have heard me tell Benedict. She knew you would be left alone, defenceless.”

  “But that's not your fault. You said yourself you've been working with her for years. You could never have known what she would do! You can't keep blaming yourself for things you cannot control.”

  “Lilliah.” Azrael stopped pacing and moved in front of her, grabbing the tops of her arms. “This is my fault. I left you. In the hands of a vampire.” He let the words sink in. “You should be dead. All of you should be dead. She was stronger, faster, and has done it all before.”

  “But I’m not!” she screamed, getting annoyed with Azrael’s self-hatred. “And this isn’t your fault. None of it is. This is Dena's fault.” She reached up, locking her arms around his neck and forcing his head down until it was inches from hers. “I'm fine,” she whispered, crashing her lips to his and pulling him down on the bed.

  “I promise you, I’ll find Dena.” He stared into her eyes, still breathing heavily from the kiss.

  “I know.”

  They lay in the bed not talking. Lilliah was just enjoying being close to him, enjoying the quietness.

  “What happens when all of this is over?” Azrael looked up, his brows creasing in a deep frown.

  “When what is over?”

  “All of it. Finding Mum, killing Dena, finding whoever is after me. What do we do once it's all over?” Azra
el sat up, leaning on his elbows.

  “Will it ever be over?”

  “Of course. We'll find your mother and whoever is after you. Then, well, it’s up to you what you do next.”

  Lilliah digested what he was saying, the words “what you do next” ringing over and over again.

  “What I do next? So you'll just leave?” She stared up at him, horrified for a moment, her heart beating furiously in her chest. Oh, please, please don't let this be happening, she silently prayed.

  “What? No!” He laughed, dragging her across the space between them and into his arms, locking them around her to keep her close. “How could you even think that? I’ve been searching for you for years. I'm never letting you go.”

  The words were enough to sedate her fears. She snuggled into his chest, trying to get as close as possible.

  “You know”—she laughed once Azrael had turned out the nightlight and they were in the dark—“I'm not sure how I’m going to explain you to my mum.” She smiled as the rumble from his laugh gently shook her body.

  “Explain me, huh?”

  “Yeah. You look at least twenty-eight,” she told him. “What if she says we can't see each other?” She was making it sound light-hearted, but she really had been thinking about it. No one would be able to stop her from seeing Azrael, but her mum’s disapproval wouldn’t help anything. “How awkward would it be if my mum doesn’t approve?”

  “Awkward?”

  She smiled, not needing to see his face to know he was smiling as well.

  ”Don't worry. I won't go running because of the prospect of a scary mother. And besides, she'll love me.”

  “Oh, really? A little overconfident, aren’t you? I think you’re underestimating my mum.” The odds were her mum would love him. Azrael really did have a way with charming people. Especially women.

  “Don't worry. I'll make her love me.”

  “You hope,” she corrected.

  “I know.” He laughed. “Now go to sleep.”

  “What time is it?”

  “It’s nearly four in the morning. So go to sleep.”

  “Oh, my God. I was really tired earlier, but I’m okay now.” She was doing it on purpose now, purely to irritate him.

  “Well, try.” She could hear the smile in his voice.

  “I don't think I could. I mean—”

  Azrael flipped her over so quickly that all she could do was squeal and laugh as he turned again so she was lying on top of him, her body pressed against him and her face hovering above his.

  “Well, now I’m really not tired,” she said through her laughter.

  “Maybe I just wanted to scare you.”

  “You don't scare me,” she told him honestly.

  “Good,” he mumbled, leaning up to kiss her. “Never fear me. I could never hurt you. My body and my heart wouldn’t allow it.”

  “I like that.” She smiled, the butterflies in her stomach going wild.

  “Good,” he said again, this time through laughter. “Now go to sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow.” He closed his eyes.

  Lilliah didn't move off him. Instead, she got comfortable and placed her head in the crook of his neck. His arms lifted up around her, holding her tightly. “What are we doing tomorrow?” she asked.

  “We're going to meet that man from the club and ask him about your mum. And we have to move to a flat I have in central London, get you new clothes, that sort of thing.”

  “Can I come with you to meet the guy?”

  “Yeah. Now go to sleep.”

  She really did have a busy day, she realised, quickly kissing Azrael’s neck as she closed her eyes. She thought she'd have nightmares that night, but she didn’t. She slept peacefully and deeply, safe in Azrael’s arms.

  Chapter 17

  “Make arrangements straight away. I want it all sorted before I arrive. Yes.”

  The sound of Azrael’s voice woke her. She didn’t open her eyes straight away. Instead, she lay there, listening to him speak. It was obviously business-related; his voice changed when he was talking business. It somehow got colder and stronger. She could hear him command things down the phone and started to feel sorry for the person on the other end.

  “No, Dena will not be handling it. She won’t be coming back. Stop asking me questions and just do your job!”

  Now would probably be a good time to wake up, she decided, stretching.

  “Morning.” The bed sank as Azrael lay next her. “I was just about to wake you up. But then I realised you were just pretending. How long have you been awake?”

  “Not long.” She shrugged shyly. Would she ever be able to trick him? “What time is it?”

  “Early still. Just past seven. Benedict's here.”

  “It’s seven in the morning?” she moaned, sinking farther down in the bed, trying to pull the quilt over her head. “No, it’s too early. Please just let me sleep.”

  “No can do, I'm afraid. We have a busy day,” he replied with a smile, flipping the quilt so he could see her face.

  “Can't our busy day start at nine?” she pleaded, trying to flutter her eyelashes.

  “No,” he replied, giving her a smile and pressing a quick, hard kiss on her lips before jumping off the bed and heading to the door. “I’ll go and wake your brother and Rebecca.”

  “You’re already dressed,” she noted, letting her eyes drift over his black trousers and shirt. “What time did you get up?” He looked great, as always. How was it possible for him to have such little sleep and still look so good?

  Stopping once he’d reached the door, he turned. “I woke up at five.”

  “Five?” she shrieked in disbelief. “You’ve had one hour of sleep?”

  “Yes. I have a lot to do today. Besides, you needed your sleep. You were happily snoring away.”

  “I do not snore!” She laughed, throwing a pillow at him and missing by a mile.

  “You really do,” he told her, already leaving the room. “And you have a terrible throw.”

  “I do not snore,” she repeated, finally getting out of bed. “And I have no clothes,” she noted, picking up the clothes she had worn the night before. She really didn’t want to put them back on. They smelt, they were dirty, and the top had bloodstains on it. She sat on the floor, trying to decide whether it would be too rude to ask Edna to clean her clothes. Would they even have the time? A piece of paper sat neatly on the floor next to her pile of clothes, her name neatly written on the front.

  “There’s a pile of new clothes in the bathroom. I'll burn these.”

  She sighed, relieved she would never have to look at them again, and thankful that Azrael had known what she would need before even she did.

  “Sorry about the clothes. It was all I could do with such short notice.”

  Frowning, she walked into the bathroom. There was a neat pile of clothes, as well as a toothbrush.

  He really did think of everything. She yanked the dress over her head, only remembering her injured back when it was too late. But the pain never came. She walked backwards until she could see her naked back in the mirror. It was completely healed.

  “Being an angel is awesome.”

  “Lilliah?” Rebecca asked, knocking on the door. “Are you ready?”

  “Yeah, I’m in here,” she called from the bathroom.

  “What are you wearing? Benedict brought some clothes this morning. Oh, never mind.” Rebecca burst out laughing as Lilliah walked into the room. “You look like you’re seventy,” she said, still laughing.

  “Oh, please. You don't look much better,” Lilliah shot back, trying to hold back a smile. Their floral tops matched; however, Lilliah's was bigger, brighter, and just worse.

  “No. No. Yours is just horrible! At least mine fits!” She was right; Rebecca's ugly shirt fit her, making it seem less ugly. Lilliah's shirt, however, hung off her, fastened at her neck and stopping just above the knee.

  “That's true. Who the hell would think these tops were a good idea?�
��

  “Apparently Benedict and Azrael went out earlier. I know Dena is a psychotic bitch, but she’s a psychotic bitch with taste.” She laughed, jumping to sit on the end of the bed. “And all of those beautiful clothes are gone. Burnt in the fire. What a waste!”

  “Not all the house burnt down. You never know.” Lilliah shrugged, tucking the shirt into her dark-green cargo trousers. “Does this make it look better?”

  “No. I didn’t think it was possible to make these clothes worse, but yep, you did it.”

  “Okay fine. It'll have to do.” She sighed, giving up. “I'm starving. Let’s just go downstairs.”

  “Edna's made some breakfast,” Rebecca shared as they walked down the hall.

  “Oh, good. I didn’t eat last night. I was literally in the kitchen when Dena turned up.”

  “I didn’t either. Your phone just lit up,” Rebecca said, pointing to her pocket.

  “Oh, it’s probably Jeremy,” Lilliah guessed. “I didn’t have time to text him back last night.” She dug her phone out. She was right; it was Jeremy.

  “Do you text this much normally?” Rebecca frowned. “Because he never texts me.”

  “Sometimes,” Lilliah said, trying to dismiss the subject. “It’s just because I didn’t text him back last night,” she told her quickly, not in the mood to talk about Jeremy. “Speaking of last night, what happened with you and Seb?” She stopped on the stairs, whispering the last part. “Pretty bold move with the whole ‘sharing a room’ thing.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Rebecca agreed, her eyes scanning the stairs and hall to make sure they were alone. Nothing happened,” she quickly assured. “I just didn’t want to be alone. After everything that went on . . .” She shrugged.

  Lilliah nodded in understanding. She would have been a mess had it not been for Azrael.

  “So . . .” Lilliah hedged. “You both just went to sleep? No talking or cuddling or anything?”

  “Pretty much. We were just so wiped out.”

  Lilliah looked at her friend sceptically but decided to drop it, or at least save it for another time.