The Sound of Distant Thunder

by Jan Drexler

  Salome was getting the big mixing bowl down from the shelf. “That’s fine, dear. Don’t catch cold, and don’t go too far. I think Levi is going to stop by this afternoon.”

  Once Katie escaped from the house, she knew just where she was going. She hadn’t been to her house . . . Jonas’s house . . . since the day Papa died. The sun was causing the snow to soften, but it was still deep. Katie hadn’t noticed that it had snowed during the last couple weeks, but then she hadn’t noticed much at all. Her feet sank into the deep snow, and soon her shoes were wet with melting snow. She continued on until she had crossed the wooden bridge Jonas had built and crept into the safe corner. The log she used for a seat was dry on top, and Katie sat, enjoying the quiet. All around her melting snow dripped from the trees, and she could hear other sounds in the woods. The squirrels chattered to each other as they foraged for food in the afternoon sun, and chickadees cheeped in their endless quest for insects in the sun-warmed bark of the trees.

  Here in this safe place, Jonas seemed to enfold her in his arms. Here, her dreams lived on, even if they were empty dreams.

  She heard a wagon on the road, and then it stopped.

  “Katie?”

  Levi was calling her. He must have seen her footprints in the snow. She came out of her hiding place and walked back along the trail she had made. Now that Mama was feeling better, she could come here more often. Here, Jonas would live on.

  “Katie, are you all right?” He was standing in the wagon box, watching her walk toward him. “Does Mother know you’re out here?”

  He helped her climb up beside him, then clicked his tongue to start Champ going toward her house again.

  “For sure she does.” Katie looked behind her, watching as they drew away from the clearing. “I told her I was going for a walk.” She felt better than she had, but she was still numb, as if part of her had died when she learned Jonas was missing. Ever since that day, she felt like nothing could touch her. Even the news of Jonas’s death had only felt like a small bump.

  Champ stopped by the back porch, but Levi didn’t move.

  “I’ve made a decision, Katie.” He turned toward her and took her hand in his. “With Jonas . . . gone, and your father gone too, you need someone to take care of you.”

  She looked at his hand holding hers. Levi was capable, but soft. His hand was smooth, clinging, chapped red from the cold.

  “I love you, Katie.”

  Katie looked into his face, which was hopeful and smiling. How could he smile?

  “I like you too, Levi.”

  His smile grew broader. “I want to be the one to take care of you. I want you to be my wife. Say you’ll marry me, Katie. Won’t you say you will?”

  Katie pulled her hand away from his. What other choice did she have?

  She looked at the house in front of her, empty without Papa’s presence. She missed his laugh. She even missed his fiery temper. Rubbing her forehead, she thought of her future. Karl and his family were planning to move into the big house as soon as the weather settled into spring, and she and Mama would move into the little house Karl had built when he and Mary set up housekeeping. In the trees, away from the road, Karl’s house would be her home while she cared for Mama through the coming years. The thought made her head pound.

  And then what? She would never love another man. Never. But Levi had been a good friend, and the curse didn’t seem to touch him. As a woman alone, she would always be dependent on her family. Never having her own home and children. At least with Levi, she would have a future.

  She sighed, making the choice she loathed, but it was better than the alternative.

  “Ja, Levi. I guess I’ll marry you.”

  Levi enveloped her in a hug. “You’ve made me so happy.”

  She felt nothing.

  “When can we have the wedding? Will next month be too soon?”

  Katie heard Papa’s voice, when she’d told him she was going to marry Jonas. She shook her head. “That’s too soon. I’m too young, Papa said.”

  Levi looked disappointed, but then smiled again. “When?”

  Climbing down from the wagon, Katie paused. Thinking. Not August. No, not August.

  “May, I think. After my birthday. Papa would have liked that.”

  “Mother will be so happy for us. I’ll tell her right away.”

  She walked onto the porch with Levi following her, carrying the box of groceries he was bringing to Salome. He held the box in one hand as he reached around her to open the door. As his hand grasped the doorknob, she looked into his face. His happy, pasty, doughy face. In her imagination, she saw Teacher Robinson’s face instead. The leer, the double chin, the narrowed eyes. She started to tremble. She shook her head.

  “I can’t marry you. I’m sorry, Levi, but I can’t.” She stepped away from the door.

  Levi let the door close and set the box on the bench. He reached for her hand, but she pulled away.

  “But I thought—” He stopped and took a step back. “I thought you liked me.”

  Tears trickled down Katie’s cheeks. She was finally crying, finally feeling something.

  “I do like you, but I still love Jonas.” A hard rock formed in her chest, a dam waiting to break. She took a deep breath and it ended up as a sob. “I still love Jonas, and I could never make a life with anyone else.”

  She left him, jumping off the porch. She ran all the way back to her hiding place in the ruined house and let the tears fall, groaning and sobbing until she was hoarse and spent. She would always love Jonas, and no one else. Only Jonas.

  FEBRUARY 24

  Jonas paused as he reached the corner at the crossroads of the Hyattsville Pike and Weaver’s Creek road. He was almost home. His uniform had turned some heads when he stopped at the store in Farmerstown to purchase some gifts.

  “Where are you heading, soldier?” the storekeeper had asked.

  “Weaver’s Creek to see my folks.”

  The storekeeper and his wife exchanged glances as if they couldn’t believe it. He supposed they were surprised to see an Amish man wearing a uniform. He could hardly wait to change into Plain clothes, but before that, he had to see Katie.

  He walked faster after leaving the Hyattsville Pike and then started trotting up the hill toward the Stuckeys’ farm. At the spot where the farm lane met the road, Jonas paused just long enough to drink in the sight of the home place in the distance. When he had returned to his unit last week, Captain Wentworth had been more surprised than anyone to see him and told how he had been reported dead.

  And how the official letter had been sent to his family.

  For nearly a month, they had thought he was dead. Not only his family, but Katie too. He ran the rest of the way to the Stuckeys’ house, then came to a halt when he saw her.

  She was at the clothesline, hanging up towels. Something he had seen her do so often in his memory over the last four months. He watched her as if she was another dream, but this was real. As Katie turned to go back into the house, she glanced his way. She stopped and stared, then ran toward him.

  He met her, catching her in his arms and swinging her around. She clung to him, then pulled away.

  “Put me down,” she said, kicking her feet. He set her on the ground and she looked at him, holding his face between her hands. “Is it really you? Jonas? It’s really you?”

  “Ja, for sure and certain.” He couldn’t stop grinning. He kissed her, then kissed her again, pulling her close. “I’m here, Katie. I couldn’t write to you, because I would get here sooner than any letter.”

  “Are you home for good?”

  “Only a few days, but we’ll make the most of them, won’t we?”

  “Do Abraham and Lydia know you’re here?”

  He shook his head. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was thinner than he remembered.

  “I need to see them next, but I’m not going without you. Tell your parents you’ll be back later.”

  Her face fell. “You don
’t know . . . Papa passed away.”

  Jonas pulled her close, holding her tight. He had expected to see death, and he had seen much more than anyone should ever see in their lifetime . . . but Gustav? Dead?

  “Ach, Katie. I’m so sorry.”

  Her voice was muffled in his jacket. “Somehow, hearing you say that makes it better.” She pulled back to look at his face again. “I’ve missed you so much.” Her fingers stroked his cheeks. “So much.”

  He kissed her yet again.

  After breaking the news of his return to Margaretta, he took Katie’s hand and they ran together down the road to the stone bridge. As they crossed the creek, Jonas looked at the house and barn with a new feeling of satisfaction. He had never seen such a beautiful sight.

  Datt had seen them and came running from the house. Jonas met him with a big hug, then stood back, both of them grinning.

  “Your mother!” Datt said, as if he had just remembered her. He called her. “Lydia!”

  The rest of the afternoon was a joyous reunion as Datt told Samuel he was there, then young Bram went to tell the rest of the family. And through the entire time, he never let go of Katie’s hand. He would have to leave her again soon enough, but not yet.

  Mamm and the girls fixed a feast of ham, potatoes, biscuits, and gravy . . . Jonas lost track of all the food that covered the table. As they ate, Jonas told the story of his captivity and his time with the Confederates.

  “You’re still wearing your uniform,” Datt said. “Do you have to return?”

  Jonas squeezed Katie’s hand. “Ja, in a few days.”

  Sounds of dismay went around the room. Samuel stared at the floor.

  “But it won’t be the same.” He smiled at Katie. He hadn’t even told her this news yet. “When I go back, I won’t be in combat. There are many hospitals in and around Washington City to care for the sick and wounded soldiers. My captain recommended me for training as a medical officer, and I’ll be working there.” He held Datt’s gaze. “I’ll be healing instead of hurting. I’ll be helping those who can to go home to their families, and I’ll be there to comfort those who will never live to see their homes again. It’s work that I know the Good Lord has prepared me for.”

  Jonas looked at Samuel. “It’s why I was supposed to go to the army instead of Samuel, I think. This is what God was calling me to do.”

  Later, Samuel cornered him away from the rest of the family. “Jonas, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t say anything. You don’t need to.”

  “You forgive me, then?”

  Jonas smiled. “Forgive you for what? Doing what God laid on your heart to do? For sure, if you need my forgiveness, you have it.”

  Taking a step back, Samuel looked at Jonas from head to toe. “I think you’ve grown some since you went away.”

  “I’m not any taller.”

  “There is more than one way to grow.”

  Jonas grinned at his brother and pulled him close for a hug. It felt good. So good.

  When darkness fell, Jonas walked Katie home. “It’s been a good day.” He sighed, pulling Katie’s hand into his elbow. He couldn’t remember ever being more content than this minute.

  “It’s been a wonderful day.” Katie leaned her head against his shoulder. “I know the next week will fly by, though.”

  “Ja, for sure it will. All too soon I’ll need to leave for Washington again.”

  “But this time you’ll write to me every day?”

  He squeezed her hand. “For sure and certain I will. Maybe twice a day.”

  “I’m afraid you’ll be too busy for that.”

  Jonas thought of the crowded hospitals he had seen while he had been in Washington. “You’re right about that. What we need is an end to this war.”

  “How soon do you think it will happen?”

  “Every day I think it can’t last much longer. So many men have died, but the generals just keep throwing more soldiers into the battles. If the Union army can reach Richmond, then the war would be over, but the South is determined to win.”

  “What will happen when the winter is over?” Katie stopped walking as they reached her house and turned toward him.

  Jonas encircled her in his arms and drew her close. “Only God knows that. But I know he hears our prayers.” He bent his head to see into her eyes. “And one thing I do know is that I love you. And when this war is over, I will be coming home and marrying you without delay.”

  She flung her arms around his neck and clung to him as he kissed her. A kiss that held all his promises of their forever together.

  1

  “How much farther, Daed?”

  Gideon Fisher kept his eyes on his team’s ears rather than answering his daughter immediately. At eight years old, Roseanna had taken on a burden much too heavy for her fragile shoulders but hearing him admit that he wasn’t sure where they were wouldn’t help ease her mind. Clearing his throat, hoping a bit of cheer would be conveyed through his voice, he turned and smiled at the children.

  “It can’t be too far now.” His smile faltered when he saw Lovinia lying on her cot in the back of the wagon, her face pale. If he didn’t find a safe place for his family soon, his wife might not survive this illness. He forced the smile to return. “The folks at the store back there said that we’d find quite a few Amish settlers up ahead, along Weaver’s Creek.”

  Three-year-old Ezra stepped over his sisters in the wagon bed to join Gideon on the seat. Grasping his son’s trousers, Gideon helped him climb up beside him. He smiled at Sophia. At six years old, she worried more than the others about her mother’s illness. While Roseanna cared for the baby, Sophia had kept Ezra occupied on the long journey from Maryland. But her little face showed the strain of the last few months with a pinching tension around her mouth that made her look much older than her years.

  As Gideon urged the horses toward the crossroad ahead, he tucked Ezra close to his side. That must be the road the Englisch woman at the store in Farmerstown had spoken of. The ford through the small creek was just as she had described, and the road on the other side would take them to their destination. After crossing the ford and making the turn onto the smaller road, Gideon halted the exhausted team.

  “Just resting the horses for a few minutes,” Gideon told the children.

  “Down?” Ezra asked, peering up at him.

  At the same time, Sophia stood and plucked his sleeve. “There are flowers in the meadow, Daed. Can we pick some?”

  Gideon wrapped the reins around the brake handle. “Ja, for sure. All of you should get out and run for a little. I’ll stay with Mamm and the baby.”

  While the children ran through the meadow, Gideon sat next to Lovinia in the wagon bed, eight-month-old Daniel on his lap. His dear wife smiled at him and patted his arm.

  “We’re almost there?” Her voice was nearly a whisper.

  When he clasped her hand, it was hot and dry. “I hope so. The woman who gave me the directions wasn’t very clear about exactly where the Amish settlement is.”

  “Once we stop traveling—” She coughed, turning on her side as he supported her.

  When the coughing spell ended, he finished her sentence. “We’ll find a place to stay and good food to eat. And then you’ll get better.”

  The children’s laughter made Lovinia smile. “You’ll make a new home for us, husband.”

  He touched her cheek with the back of his hand. “We’ll make a new home together, far from the war.”

  As Lovinia’s eyes closed, Gideon stroked her cheek. How long could she go on like this, with every bit of her strength consumed by fever? Daniel fussed, rubbing his eyes. He was hungry again. They were all hungry.

  Dear Gott. Gideon faltered. The words wouldn’t come. What could he pray that he hadn’t already said?

  During the weeks he had been held captive by the Confederate army, forced to transport their supplies in his wagon, he had worried about the family and the church community he had left
at home. But when the army had moved east, away from northwest Maryland, and had released him, he found that his family had fared worse than he had imagined. While their neighbors had moved on, away from the constant presence of the armies and their insatiable appetites, Lovinia had stayed on the farm, unwilling to leave until she knew what had happened to him. But with only a few supplies overlooked by the hungry soldiers, she had succumbed to worry and illness. By the time he had arrived home after six weeks away, there was nothing to hold them there, even if the scavenging soldiers had overlooked something they could survive on. All that was left was the worn-out team and his wagon.

  Even his flock had scattered, leaving him a minister without a church.

  Dear Gott.

  Knowing that the army had intended to move north, into Pennsylvania, Gideon had loaded his family and a few possessions into the wagon and set out for the west. To the large Amish communities in Ohio. There, they would be safe. There, Lovinia could recover from this sickness. There, they could be a family again.

  But would he . . . could he . . . fulfill his calling as a minister again? Could Gott use a broken man?

  Gideon rocked Daniel in his arms until the baby fell asleep and he laid him on the cot next to Lovinia.

  Once the horses had rested, they set off again. Gideon walked to relieve some of the wagon’s weight, leading the team as the road sloped upward away from the creek. They passed a lane leading to a house as they reached the crest of the slope, then Gideon stopped. In front of him, the valley spread out. The road they were on went down to meet the creek again, then followed it along the bottom of the valley. Beyond a wood, a large barn and farmhouse settled into the landscape on the far side of the creek. From there, the road swung to the right, away from the creek and past another farmhouse to disappear up the rise beyond.

  Unbidden, a verse from the book of Matthew came to him: For I was hungry, and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty and ye gave me drink; I was a stranger, and ye took me in. Gideon bowed his head. Pride ate at him, rejecting that he and his family were in need. Dear Gott, you are teaching me humility. Once more. Help me to humble myself before you.