Give in to Me

by K. M. Scott

  Even though I now knew Tristan received all my texts, I didn’t send him a message right away. What was there to say? Hey, I got your letter and I’m all cool with pretending I’m doing someone else? Or maybe something like I miss you. I love you. And now I’m going to be acting like I’ve forgotten you and moved on just as you said to.

  Over and over, I typed in so many words, only to backspace through them until there was nothing. Finally, I let my fingers spell out what was in my heart, no matter how much it hurt.

  I hate what I have to do. I don’t want to pretend I care about someone else. I could never just move on like that.

  As usual, there was no reply. At least I knew he received it, though.

  Where was he? I imagined him sitting on a beach somewhere, his feet in the sand as he sipped some frothy umbrella drink in the sunshine. No, that wasn’t right. He was likely somewhere in a hotel fully dressed in a suit and tie with a glass of scotch on the table in front of him. Was he in Venice enjoying the beautiful sunset each night—the same sunset that had been the perfect backdrop to our time together there?

  Two light knocks on my door shook me from my daydreaming, and I opened it to see Varo standing there looking distinctly uncomfortable. In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever seen him look like that. Instead of looking me directly in the eyes, as he always did, his gaze was fixed on the floor and his hands were hidden behind his back.

  “Hi, Varo. What’s up?” I wanted to be cool, but my words came out stupid sounding, like I didn’t know what was happening.

  His gaze met mine, and I saw just how uncomfortable he was. Those dark blue eyes that had reminded me of a snake’s more than once seemed bigger, like they were filled with uncertainty and searching for an answer in mine.

  “I thought we should talk before we begin doing whatever we’re supposed to be doing.”

  “Okay. Give me a minute and I’ll meet you in the living room.”

  As soon as I walked into that room I knew I couldn’t sit there with another man like I had with Tristan. There were just too many memories. It would be wrong. Daryl was one thing, but Varo? No. I couldn’t sit there and talk about us being a couple, even if it was all an act. Stopping dead two feet in, I shook my head. “Let’s go somewhere else. I could use a drink or something to eat. How about the kitchen?”

  Varo had no idea what the problem was and merely nodded as he rose from the couch. I wasn’t lying about needing a drink. Even though it wasn’t yet dinnertime, I had the strongest urge for anything that would dull my senses and make all this easier to deal with.

  He followed me into the kitchen and stood silently near the doorway, as if he was preparing for a quick getaway. I knew how he felt. This whole facade we had to put on made me want to run away too.

  As I considered what to say, I truly looked at Gage Varo, possibly for the first time. I’d seen him before, of course, but I had never really looked at him. He was the bodyguard or the guy Jordan liked, but now that he was standing there in my kitchen waiting to talk about how we were going to pretend to be a couple, I felt like I was seeing him in a brand new way.

  His dark blue eyes still scared me a little, but I had no fear that he wanted to hurt me. They were just so unlike Tristan’s with their warm chocolate color. Varo’s were cold in comparison, and they gave me no real sense of what he was feeling.

  “So I guess we should talk,” I said awkwardly as I stood with my back pressed against the counter, unable to put any more space between us. “Maybe if we got to know each other this might not seem so bizarre.”

  “This isn’t the first time I’ve done this.”

  His statement was like an unexploded bomb dropped into the middle of the room. It just sort of sat there for a moment while my brain processed what he’d said. Did he mean he’d been a bodyguard before or that he’d had to pretend to be someone’s boyfriend before?

  “What?”

  “I’ve done this before. You know, the whole fake boyfriend thing. It’s not as hard as you’d think. It’s just a matter of acting like you’re happy. Once you get that down, it’s a breeze.”

  “Oh, okay,” I muttered, still surprised that Varo had committed this same fraud before. “Do you mind me asking who you did this with the last time?”

  Shaking his head, he said, “Angela Macaran. She’s an actress.”

  I’d never heard of her, but the fact that he’d been her fake boyfriend made me want to know more about her. “Why did she need you to pretend to be her boyfriend?”

  “I have no idea. They never told me, like all I know is what Daryl told me about this. You need me to act like we’re together, so that’s what I’ll do.”

  This wasn’t making it any less weird.

  “Did you sleep with her because you won’t be doing that with me. We don’t have to do that. In fact, I don’t think Jordan would ever forgive me if we did, not to mention the fact that I’m in love with Tristan and when he comes back we plan to get married. So there will definitely be no sleeping together.” I stopped talking as I realized I was rambling and took a deep breath before I began again. “I’m sorry. I must sound crazy. It’s just that this isn’t something I have any experience with.”

  Varo gave me the first smile I may have ever seen from him. It was genuine and lit up his face, making him look so much friendlier than he’d ever been toward me. “It’s okay. I know my part. I assume Tristan knew my background when he hired me.”

  “Oh. Is there anything I should be doing that I’m not?” I asked, feeling supremely stupid at that moment. “I mean, how did that Angela person act?”

  Varo’s smile grew wider. “She acted like we were sleeping together because we were. I guess that doesn’t help, does it?”

  “No, not at all. But thanks.”

  He took a step into the room and then another until he stood next to the huge island in the center of the kitchen. “I think all we have to do is look like we like each other. Hopefully, by the time Daryl parades us out in front of the world, we can pull that off.”

  “It’s not that I don’t like you, Varo,” I said apologetically.

  “Gage. It might be more convincing if you called me by my first name instead of what my Chief Petty Officer used to call me.”

  “Okay. It’s not that I don’t like you, Gage. It’s just that you’ve never really been very friendly toward me.”

  Nodding, he seemed to consider what I’d said. “I’ll give you that. It wasn’t part of my job, as far as I was concerned. Now that it is, I promise to be friendlier.”

  I liked this Varo a lot more than the one I was used to. For the first time, I could see what Jordan saw in him. Since I had the chance, I decided I could do some girlfriend recon for her.

  “So are you single, Gage?”

  “I am. There’s not much opportunity to settle down with this job since I have to live in the carriage house with West.”

  I moved toward the island to grab a handful of grapes from the fruit bowl. Popping one in my mouth, I said, “Well, that’s true, but you might have a girlfriend. It’s not like you have to work twenty-four-seven.”

  “Nope. No girlfriend.”

  “That’s good. I mean, you having a girlfriend might make what we have to do a little harder.”

  In truth, it was good because that meant Jordan had a chance. I was happy to hear that he was single and couldn’t wait to tell her all the details about him.

  “Are you from around here?”

  “No. I grew up in Wyoming, the Cowboy State. That’s the nickname for Wyoming.”

  “You don’t look like a cowboy,” I said with a smile, hoping he recognized that I wasn’t trying to be insulting.

  He reached across the island and picked a few grapes off the bunch. “I’m not. I got out of there as soon as I could. Spent some time in the Navy and then spent a few years bouncing around the country before I got into this line of work.”

  I subtly scanned his muscular frame, imagining him in Navy whites. Jordan
was going to melt when she heard he was former Navy. That May we got to experience Fleet Week had made quite an impression on her, and she’d said for months afterward that she’d love to have a sailor. Hell, she might melt when I told her he was from somewhere they call the Cowboy State.

  “Ever been married?” I probed.

  He smiled broadly. “No. No ex-wife and no kids either.”

  Check. Single and unfettered. He was looking better and better by the minute. I filed these facts away and popped another grape in my mouth. “Don’t you want to know anything about me?”

  Varo folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. “Since I’m not scoping you out for a friend, I figured I’d just let you tell me about yourself when you felt comfortable.”

  Caught red-handed! Damn.

  I felt my cheeks grow hot as a blush of embarrassment spread over me. “I…it’s just…Jordan’s a great…” I stammered out, not having much success in getting my point across.

  “It’s okay. I’m flattered, even if I can’t ask her out.”

  “Why? She’s fantastic. She’s a teacher, a wonderful person, and she’s a great time. I think you’d like her.”

  “I already do, but it doesn’t change the fact that we can’t get together while I’m on this job. It just wouldn’t work out.”

  My shoulders sagged under my disappointment at his words. “Oh. Are you sure?”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea as long as I’m guarding you. Conflict of interest. Plus, I don’t think my boss would like it.”

  All of a sudden there seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. “Then it’s all good because I know your boss and he’d be fine with it,” I said grinning with satisfaction.

  Varo stood silently for a moment and nodded. “You make a convincing argument. Maybe when all this is over I might try to see if we can get together.”

  A might was better than a no, so I clapped my hands together in triumph. “That’s great! I’m not going to say anything to her, though, so I don’t ruin it. I don’t want to meddle.”

  “I think they call that matchmaking instead of meddling.”

  Shrugging, I explained, “I just like to see everyone as happy as Tristan and I are.”

  Varo looked at me oddly, as if he couldn’t believe what I’d just said. I could understand that. It’s not like Tristan was anywhere nearby for months now, but I still had hope. “I know that sounds strange, but we are happy. It’s just that we’re not together now. Soon, though. I have to keep believing it’ll be soon.”

  “I’m all for being happy, but as far as I can tell, very few get that blessing.”

  Hmmm, the bodyguard is a little jaded.

  “Well, as Jordan always says, good things happen to good people. She says that to me, and I’m saying that to you. They do.”

  “I’ll have to take your word on that, Nina. I haven’t seen that to be true yet.”

  “Just you wait and see, Gage. Trust me. I know about these things,” I said as I grabbed another handful of grapes and headed out of the kitchen. “Now let’s get your stuff moved into your room.”

  By the time Jordan got home after work, Gage had moved all of his things into his new room next to mine. Not that he had a lot of belongings to his name. A large garbage bag would have held every item he owned. The man certainly traveled light. Even though I’d been uncomfortable about Tristan’s idea to make the world think he was never coming back, the part that involved Gage wasn’t so bad, after all. I still hated the idea that anyone would believe I’d be able to move on so easily and replace Tristan, but at least I’d found out my partner in the deception was a decent guy. I’d be happy when he and Jordan finally got together.

  I met her at the door, thrilled to tell her the small part I could about him moving into the house. Since Daryl had warned me against keeping her in the loop, I had to come up with a story that sounded somewhat believable.

  “Hey, you! How was your day with the little darlings?”

  She looked up from putting her keys in her purse and frowned. “Awful. Two of my students got into a fight, and now I have to go back at six tonight to meet with the parents. The worst part is that my principal thinks this happened because I can’t handle my classroom.”

  “I’m sorry you had such a bad day. Come into the kitchen and sit down with me so we can talk and eat a little dinner before you have to go back to the city.”

  Jordan shook her head. “I can’t. I’m just going to grab a quick shower and get ready. I hope you don’t mind me asking Jensen if he’d take me back.”

  I took her bag and walked with her down the hallway to her room. “Of course. It’s not like you’re going to take a bus there. I can come with you, if you like. I didn’t get out today, so I can get dressed and be ready to go in no time.”

  Pushing her bedroom door open, she took the bag from my hand and threw it on the bed. “No, that’s okay, Nina. I better do this alone. When I get home, hopefully I’ll be in a better mood.”

  “Okay. Just remember how great a teacher you are. Those kids are lucky to have you, and your principal needs to remember that.”

  She took a deep breath and forced a smile. “I know. I promise we’ll talk when I get back.”

  “Good because we need an old-fashioned girls’ night in, complete with our favorite movies and buckets of popcorn, and tonight looks like the perfect night for that.”

  Jordan’s expression softened. Nodding, she said quietly, “It’s a date. I’ll see you when I get back.”

  At a little after seven, she texted me to say everything had worked out and her principal had even apologized for jumping to conclusions before she had all the facts about the fight. I was thrilled and texted back that I was heading to the kitchen to make the popcorn. Girls’ night in was on!

  We both needed this kind of night. I was feeling a little better since finding out Tristan had been receiving all of my texts, but I couldn’t say it wasn’t frustrating that he never responded. I was sure Daryl would have some valid reason why he couldn’t if I bothered to ask, but it was still aggravating. And with Jordan’s job woes, she was dealing with her own frustrations. A few great chick flicks and too much popcorn were definitely what the doctor ordered.

  Two Jiffy Pop pans into my popcorn popping, I heard a knock and turned around to see Gage standing there. “Hey, want some popcorn?”

  “No. I just wasn’t sure who was in here making all that racket,” he said with a smile.

  “Yeah, it’s just me. You have to shake this stuff or it burns,” I said as I turned back toward the stove.

  He walked in and stood next to me. “Wouldn’t microwave popcorn be easier?”

  “No way! That stuff is bad for you. Something in the chemicals they use and the heat of the microwave, or something like that. It’s Jiffy Pop all the way.”

  “Health nut, huh?”

  I looked up at him and laughed. “Not exactly. I think there’s like two hundred grams of fat and carbs in all this popcorn.”

  He looked down at the giant bowl half filled with Jiffy Pop that sat on the countertop and scooped out a handful for himself. Throwing a piece up in the air, he leaned his head back and caught it in his mouth. “Mmmm…not bad. A little buttery, but not bad.”

  “Don’t tell me you’re one of those popcorn eaters who doesn’t like butter?” I asked as I continued shaking the pan on the stovetop.

  Throwing another piece up above his head, he caught the second one in his mouth and smiled. “Butter’s okay, but I don’t like my food swimming in it.”

  I grabbed a kernel and threw it up in the air, but it came nowhere close to my mouth and fell on the floor next to me. I’d never been good at that kind of thing.

  Chuckling, Gage looked down at the floor and back up at me. “Looks like you need some practice at that trick. Watch.” He stepped behind me and leaned in close so his head was next to mine. “I’ll throw it up in the air and just position yourself underneath it.”

 
; He tossed the popcorn in the air and moved back away from me so I could catch it. Leaning my head back, I watched as the kernel dropped right toward my face. All I had to do was keep my mouth open and it fell right in. Excited, I stopped shaking the pan of popcorn and turned around to face him.

  “I did it! Now with just a little practice, I’ll be able to do it without your help.”

  “Glad to be of assistance. Any time,” he said with a smile.

  I caught a glimpse of someone standing in the doorway and looked around Gage to see Jordan standing there with a hurt look on her face. Before I could say a word, she turned on her heels and disappeared. Taking the pan of popcorn off the burner, I set it down and asked, “Can you pour this into the bowl when it cools down? I’ll be right back.”

  Jordan had gone to her room, and by the time I got to her, hurt had turned to anger. I knocked on her door only to hear her yell, “Go away!” and knew she misunderstood what she saw in the kitchen between Gage and me. I knocked again and waited a minute for her to let me in, taking her silence as the okay for me to enter.

  The look on her face was one of complete betrayal. It stopped me dead in my tracks as I closed the door behind me. “Jordan, I think I know what’s wrong, but you’re mistaken.”

  “I don’t think I am. What was going on in there, Nina?”

  “Nothing. Nothing at all. Gage was just keeping me company while I was making our popcorn, and then he was teaching me how to do that throwing it up and catching it in my mouth trick. That’s it.”

  “Gage? When did he become Gage? What happened to calling him Varo, like you always have? Since when did you two become such close buddies?”

  I took another step toward her, but she moved away, her anger coming off her in waves. “He’s still Varo. It’s just that he told me his name today and I was just trying to be nice.”

  “You’ve changed, Nina. I can see it clear as day now as you’re standing there. You’re different. Maybe it’s the money or maybe you’re just lonely since Tristan doesn’t seem to ever be coming back.”