My One Night: An On My Own Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  I snorted. “Yes, because after so many years of driving in America, you’re suddenly going to drive on the wrong side of the road.”

  “Excuse me. You treasonists are driving on the wrong side of the road.”

  “You’re half treasonist if you’re going by that logic.”

  “Fine,” Pacey grumbled, his lips crooking into a smile. “I suppose you have me there.”

  I smiled, feeling lighter than I had in days, though I knew it wouldn’t last long. “Of course, I do. And come on, my truck’s over here.”

  “Are you ever going to buy a new one?” Pacey asked, looking at my older-model truck that had probably seen better days. It reminded me of Dave’s pickup for some reason, and I held back a shudder. That guy’s vehicle had been older, hadn’t been taken care of, and was full of rust. Mine was just older. Not antique or classic, but one that had a lot of miles on it and would probably need to be put to pasture soon if I didn’t overhaul the engine.

  “Maybe, but I’m going to have to wait on a few more tables before I get there. She’s doing me all right for now.” I tapped on the hood and looked up at the dark sky. “That storm’s coming in a bit early.”

  “That’s what my app said,” Pacey said as we both piled into the truck. “It’s going to be a fun one tonight. We may be able to use the fireplace.”

  “Do you know how to use a fireplace, or are you going to end up smoking us out?”

  Pacey just raised a brow. “Of course, I know how. Why don’t you?”

  “Because I’ve never had a fireplace before.”

  “Really? That surprises me since we live in Colorado.”

  “Didn’t need them much out in California. At least, where I was in California. And none of my brothers have one in their homes. I think Brendan wants one, and they’ll probably end up getting one in the next house they buy, but as of now, I don’t know how.”

  “Well then, we’ll have to teach you. Look at you, growing up.”

  “Jerk,” I said.

  Pacey smiled. “I try.”

  “How did your exams go?”

  Pacey shrugged as I turned down the street. “Fine, as always. It’s amazing what happens when you take the time to study. Sometimes, you know the material.”

  “Only sometimes?”

  “Well, other times things don’t work out the way you want. However, this semester I seem to have gotten lucky.”

  He was quiet for a moment, and I kept my eyes on the road, the snow coming down a little bit harder now.

  “I hope the rest of the guys can get home through this. I don’t like the look of this stuff on the roads.”

  “Spoken like someone who didn’t learn how to drive in the snow.”

  “I didn’t. I didn’t feel like I ever needed to learn.”

  “That fills me with so much confidence. Maybe I should have been the one who drove.”

  “And we’d end up on the wrong side of the road, as you said.” I snorted.

  “Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”

  My hands tightened on the steering wheel. “What elephant?” I asked, trying to act casually.

  “I don’t know, the broken look you’ve been sporting, like you lost a part of yourself.”

  I shook my head as I pulled around to the side of the house. With the snow coming and the plows working in the morning, it was best to park on this side and save the spots in the garage for the rest of our roommates. I didn’t mind my truck being here, and it wouldn’t be easy for them to find spots later in this storm.

  “Have you talked to her?”

  I sighed, my hands clenching. “No. I texted Elise to check on her, but she hasn’t replied. Although Nessa said that she’s talked with her, so I know she’s okay. Not today, however. I’m going to try again and hope she at least gets back with Nessa.”

  “I can’t believe Corinne’s gone,” Pacey said, his voice hollow.

  I let out a breath. “I can’t either. I know she was your friend.”

  Pacey looked away, his voice low when he spoke. “She was. And she wasn’t supposed to die. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah. Me, too. I hope you and Elise figure it out.”

  “Hell, me too.”

  We got out of the truck, each zipping up our jackets. The temperature had dropped in the ten minutes it had taken me to drive home, and I wasn’t looking forward to how cold it would get this evening.

  “Are the girls staying tonight?”

  “As far as I know. It’ll be a full house.”

  “Yeah...”

  “Do you know how you’re going to fix this?” Pacey asked, his voice low. “I mean with Elise.”

  “I don’t know if there is any fixing it. She’s just so broken, at least according to her, and I can’t simply step in and make things better. Plus, I don’t want to be the guy who hovers and forces her to listen to me and then bullies my way into helping.”

  “Maybe you can be the guy who’s sort of in the middle of that. One who helps even if she pretends that she doesn’t need you to.”

  “Yeah, I’m going to have to find a way. Because I love her, Pacey.”

  “I know,” Pacey said softly. “We all know.”

  “Well,” I said with a dry laugh. “I just figured it out, and I’m pretty sure that Elise doesn’t know.”

  “Somewhere deep down, she does. And maybe that’s part of why she’s scared.”

  “That doesn’t help me feel any better.”

  “Maybe not. But if you love her enough—and I know you do—you’ll wait for her.”

  “Of course, I fucking will. It’s not over. I’m just giving her the space she needs.”

  “Good,” Pacey said as we walked up to the front doors, stomping our feet to get the snow off.

  “That’s damn good.”

  We took off our shoes, and I visibly shivered as Pacey went directly to the fireplace. Nobody else seemed to be home, and I hoped they arrived soon. The roads weren’t getting any better—not even for a native Coloradan.

  “You want to start some coffee?” Pacey asked.

  “I can do that. Though I thought you’d want something stronger.”

  “Oh, we can do that, too.”

  My phone buzzed, and I looked down at it, frowning.

  Nessa: Have you gotten ahold of Elise?

  I frowned, typing quickly.

  Me: No. Why? Is everything okay?

  Nessa: Her parents said that she was on her way to talk to you, but I can’t get ahold of her. I wanted to make sure she was there. With the roads so bad, I’m worried.

  My heart thudded, and I looked around. I called Nessa instead of texting back. “She’s not here. The house is empty.”

  “Damn it. Will you check to see if her car is there or something? Maybe she fell asleep like Goldilocks in your bed while waiting for you.”

  “Jesus, I hope so. Okay, I’m going to check. I’ll let you know.” I hung up, my hands shaking. I padded in my socks towards the back door and frowned when I saw her car.

  “Pacey!” I called out.

  “What? Talk to me.”

  “Nessa said that Elise came here. Her car is here, but I don’t see her.”

  “Shit, I’ll go check the rest of the house. But it’s quiet, Dillon. And she doesn’t have a key.”

  “I know,” I said slowly, pushing down my fear. I ran down the back-deck stairs in the snow, wearing only my socks, and headed towards her car. It was empty, the engine cold, and I looked around, my heart thudding. “Pacey! Did she get in?”

  Pacey was on the deck, shaking his head. “No. I’m going to call the girls. Maybe she went to them when she couldn’t get in. But how, given her car is here? And why would Nessa be looking for her, then? Fuck. It doesn’t make sense.”

  “I’m going to check the grounds. I don’t know. I just have a feeling.” And it wasn’t a good one. It was too damn cold out here, and Elise was hurting. I nee
ded to find her. Now.

  “There’s an old shed out back behind those trees. Maybe she’s in there getting warm.”

  I met his gaze, and then I ran, heedless of the fact that I still wasn’t wearing shoes. I could barely breathe, bile filling my throat. She had to be fine. She had to be. She was just staying warm.

  And then I saw the spots of blood on the snow, and I ran faster.

  “You’re going to tell me where he is. I need money. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but Jesus Christ, you scared me.”

  “Please, just let me go. I promise I won’t tell anyone. Please.”

  I nearly tripped because I recognized those voices.

  Elise and…Dave.

  Why the fuck was my father talking to Elise? If he hurt her—

  Holy fuck.

  I kept running, knowing I should call out to Pacey but not wanting to startle them. I got to the shed, nearly sliding in the snow over the pine needles. My socks were drenched, sticking to the bottoms of my feet, but I didn’t care. The door was open, and I could barely see what was going on. Elise sat there, blood caked to the side of her face as she held her knees to her chest, her whole body shaking. Dave stood in front of her, pacing, his whole body vibrating as if he were tweaking. He had a fucking knife in his hand, one of those hunter’s knives that I only saw on TV.

  I didn’t know what to do, and yet, I knew I had to do something. Dave was obviously on something, and he wasn’t thinking clearly. And Elise was hurt.

  I didn’t think. I just hoped to hell I wasn’t making a mistake.

  “Dad?” I asked. I couldn’t say, “Dave.” Not when I wanted him to focus on me. Calling him by his first name would piss him off. Right? What the hell was he doing? What the hell was I doing?

  Dave whirled, his eyes going dark. “You should have been here. Why weren’t you here?” And then Dave lunged. I ducked out of the way, ignoring the hot sting in my skin as the knife slid through. It was only a graze, but still, I shouted. And then Elise was there, pushing at Dave.

  “Dillon!”

  “Get to Pacey. Get out of here.”

  “Not without you.”

  I met her gaze over the other man’s head. Dave was on something that made him far stronger than he should be. I didn’t know what it was, but he was definitely tweaking.

  He shoved at us. Thankfully, however, not with the knife.

  I tackled him, my adrenaline surging, and the blade skittered across the ground. Elise jumped on it, holding it in her hand as her arm shook.

  “Get Pacey. Call the cops.” I knelt on my dad, my knee on his back as I pinned him down. “Stop it. What the hell were you thinking?”

  “I just needed a few bucks. She was there. I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

  “Dillon?”

  “Get Pacey.”

  “She doesn’t have to. I’m here. Let me help, Dillon. The cops are on their way.”

  Pacey rushed in, Tanner, Sanders, and Miles with him, and they all held Dave down. I ran to Elise. I didn’t care that she probably still wanted space. I saw the blood on her, and I couldn’t breathe.

  “Elise?”

  “I’m fine. He surprised me. I’m fine.” Her teeth chattered, and I could see each of our exhales. It was so fucking cold out, but she was okay. She had to be.

  She leaped into my arms, and I held her close, dropping to my knees. We fell, holding each other, and I felt the hot warmth of her tears on my neck. I was crying, as well, not able to hold back any longer.

  “You’re fine, you’re fine.”

  “I was so scared, but you’re here.”

  I kissed the top of her head and held her as my new friends and roommates pinned my dad to the ground, and Miles ran out to direct the cops.

  I had no idea what the fuck had happened or how we had ended up here. But Elise would be fine, damn it.

  Somehow.

  I just hoped to hell she forgave me for what Dave had done.

  Chapter 20

  Elise

  * * *

  “Are you sure we should leave?” Mom asked, and I looked up at her and smiled. “I asked you to drop me off, and you did. I’m grateful, but I could use some time with them, okay?”

  My parents stood in front of the couch, looking down at me, worried expressions on their faces. It had been a day since the attack, and unlike my home, I didn’t want to lose the ability to ever walk into Dillon’s again. Even if he didn’t forgive me and we ended up never being together, I didn’t want to lose that.

  So, my parents had dropped me off at Dillon’s with the rest of my friends and their families and were now about to head out.

  “I want to stay for a bit. Is that okay?” I asked, even though that had been the agreement when they drove me over here. I had a slight headache but didn’t have a concussion and would be fine. And I’d only needed two stitches. Apparently, wounds on your head bled easily and copiously, and that’s why I had been in the shape I was in while in the back shed.

  “That’s okay,” Dad said, holding my mom’s hand. “We wanted to see the place. It seems like a nice home,” my dad added, looking around.

  “It is,” Dillon said from behind the couch, clearing his throat. I looked over at him, and he put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it slightly. “You guys don’t have to go,” he said. “You’re welcome to stay.”

  My parents looked at each other and then at Dillon, shaking their heads. “No, we’ll give you two some time. I know your brothers and their wives just left, as well as a couple of the other parents, but we wanted to make sure Elise was okay.”

  “I am,” I said, self-conscious now.

  “Well, just let us know if you want us to pick you up, or if someone else will. We’re here if you need us.”

  I knew my parents were worried, but I had to do this. I needed to stop being scared of my shadow. Everything had happened so quickly, and I hadn’t realized what had been going on.

  Dillon’s dad had been strung out on meth and had needed money to pay his debts. Somehow, in his drug-addled mind, he had convinced himself that Dillon would have it for him. And vowed he would get it no matter the cost.

  I had just been in the way. He had seemed remorseful after, as if he hadn’t wanted to hurt me. At least at first. But then Dillon had shown up, and everything had changed.

  Dillon’s dad would be in jail for a little bit and would hopefully get the help he needed, but he was out of Dillon’s life forever. Once again. And I couldn’t be more grateful for that.

  My parents leaned down and hugged me, and I sighed.

  “We love you,” Mom whispered.

  “Yes, we do,” Dad said, and then they left, Miles leading them out.

  “We’ll give you two some privacy,” Pacey said, and Tanner, Sanders, Mackenzie, Nessa, and Natalie all nodded before dispersing, headed towards the kitchen and study areas. I was pretty sure they could probably hear us unless we were in Dillon’s room, but they were trying to give us some semblance of privacy. And that’s how I found myself alone with Dillon for the first time in days.

  He sat in front of me on the coffee table, his forearms resting along his thighs. “Hey,” he whispered.

  I swallowed hard. “Hey.”

  “I’m so fucking sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry he hurt you. I hope you can forgive me, but I’ll understand if you can’t. It must have been so scary. I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t gone out to that shed, gotten there in time.”

  I shook my head. “But you did. You were there. And this is not your fault.” I leaned forward, putting my hand on his. “It’s not your fault, Dillon. In all honesty, I came over here in the first place to apologize to you.”

  He frowned. “Why would you need to apologize to me?”

  “Because I pushed you away because I was scared. Because I couldn’t deal with my feelings. And, honestly, I’m not there yet.”

  He pulled back, his face going blank. “Not where?”

  I winced. “I’m not
dealing with all of my feelings. But I need to. I already talked to Mom and Dad, and we’re going to start with me seeing a therapist. Because I need to talk about Corinne. It’s tough for me to do so, but I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I didn’t need to make things worse. I need... I don’t know what I need, but I didn’t need to do what I did to you.”

  “I understood why you did it, though.”

  “Well, I don’t. So that’s something I need to deal with.”

  I sighed. “I’m so sorry.”

  “How about this? How about we stop apologizing to each other? Clean slate, or at least as clean as it can be.”

  He moved so he sat next to me on the couch and then brushed my hair away from my face. He was careful of my wound, and I saw the way his jaw tensed. “I almost lost you. I don’t know what I would have done if you had been hurt any more than you were.”

  “He could have hurt you.” I looked down at his arm. “You got stitches, too.”

  “You’re right, I did. But I’m going to be fine. And so are you. I still blame myself for what happened.”

  “Don’t. I’m fine. And you’re fine. We’re going to be okay.” I swallowed hard. “I don’t know how to feel about losing Corinne, and that’s something that will take me a while. I’m broken inside, Dillon, but I want you to be by my side when I figure things out. Can you do that? Can you be here?”

  He sighed, leaned down, and gently pressed a kiss to my lips. I nearly cried, but I held myself back, afraid that if I started crying, I wouldn’t be able to stop or speak.

  “I love you, Elise.”

  I blinked, then looked up at him. “What?”

  A small smile played on his lips. “How could you not know that? How could you not see it whenever I look at you?”

  I swallowed harder, traced my fingers along his jaw. “I hoped. But I thought maybe I just saw what I wanted to see.” I let out a breath. “I love you, too, Dillon. I don’t know what’s going to happen next. I don’t know what I’ll feel in terms of everything else in my life once I let myself think, but I do know that I love you.”

  His smile was bright this time, and he kissed me again. “Then we will have to do this together. Whatever comes next is you and me. Our path won’t be easy, Elise. We know that. But we can do it together. You and me. Us, against the rest of the world. Just don’t leave me again. Don’t push me away.”