by Brey Willows
“She’s what we thought, but more. She’s clearly Chandra’s daughter—I could feel it when I shook her hand. But she’s all…” Alec twisted her hands together, like she was wringing out a cloth. “Bottled up. Seriously closed off. I know she hasn’t had an easy life, but it seems like it’s really affected her.”
“Do you think she’ll work with us?” Zed leaned forward, his ancient brow furrowed.
Alec shrugged and pushed away the remnants of her donut, no longer hungry. “I don’t know. I’m meeting her for lunch tomorrow, to give back the sweater I spilled coffee on.”
Ama moaned and covered her ears. “Please don’t tell me you were that obvious. Or that you’re really such a walking cliché. I thought you’d progressed beyond that centuries ago.”
“Hey, you use what works. And it worked. Hopefully, she’ll have lunch with me tomorrow and I can use some of the tricks you taught me.” She winked at Ama, who gave her a lascivious grin in return.
Zed tapped the table with his massive hand. “Alec, you know what this means. We have to get her on board. Without her…” The already cavernous wrinkles in his face deepened. “We’ve had to lay off two more from sector 2-A. Granted, they were already pretty much living on the outside, but still. And I heard the fourth floor has pretty much faded into wraith sector.” He took Alec’s hand in his. “You’re our chance, Alec. She’s our chance. We’ve got to make this happen. In the meantime, I’m taking you off your normal duties. I want your full attention on this. Meg and Tis will cover for you until…well, until things happen one way or the other.”
“Have you told Meg and Tis that?” She thought about her temperamental sisters, who already had massive workloads of their own.
“Not yet. I’m about to. I wanted to tell you first, so you’re ready for their calls. But make no mistake, I’m not relenting on that. I need you focused. I’ll take care of your sisters. You take care of us.”
He got up and left, and she noticed a frailty about him she’d never seen before. Ama followed him and shot Alec a sympathetic look before heading back to her own department. She didn’t bother saying anything. There was nothing to say.
Alec closed her eyes. “No pressure, then.”
*
Selene woke refreshed and feeling more excited about the day than she had for some time. After the conversation with Frey, and the crash meeting with Alec, she’d been overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions. Needing to sort them out, she’d called Mika and let her know she wasn’t angry any longer, but she also wanted to spend some time at home alone, rather than take her up on the offer of an afternoon at the Holocaust Museum. Though she sounded somewhat put out, Mika agreed that they’d be better off keeping to their set routine of seeing each other in the evening, rather than attempting to add a daytime excursion as well.
She debated telling Mika about the conversation with Frey, and what it could mean for her career, for her future. Mika would push her to do it, of that she had no doubt. And she wanted this decision to be her own, one she made with her eyes open and her heart in the right place. Not one she made because other people deemed her current position in life inferior according to their own acquired moral codes.
She pulled some clothes from the closet and thought about Alec. What would a woman like Alec like? She thought about Alec’s short, dark hair. It looked soft, like you could spend hours running your fingers through it. She liked the little piece that fell over her eyes, making her look young. But there was something about her that made Selene think she wasn’t all that young, though she had a kind of….ageless quality about her. She shook her head as though to dislodge the train of thought. It doesn’t matter what she’d like. It’s Mika I should be thinking about. She pulled out the high-collared dress Mika liked, along with the simple brown flats. Then she tossed them into a corner and pulled out a pencil skirt and simple frosted green blouse. Better.
She was tired of feeling frumpy. Tired of feeling older than she was. Tired of…not feeling. Something has to change.
*
By noon, Selene was constantly looking up at the door, the papers on her desk largely ignored. When the knock came, she nearly jumped from her chair. Her pulse pounded and her breathing was labored. Good God. She’s just bringing back a sweater. Don’t be ridiculous.
“Come in.”
Alec popped her head around the door. “Hi there. Is this an okay time?”
“Sure. I was just grading papers.” Kind of.
“Great.” Alec held out a tissue paper wrapped bundle. “Nice and clean, no stains.”
Selene took it and admired the fine paper. “Thank you. A standard dry-clean would have done.”
“You deserved the best, since I nearly ruined it.” She leaned against the doorway, her arms crossed casually. “So, can I take you to lunch? We can stay here on campus, if you like? Or I know a great place down the road.”
Selene hesitated for a moment before putting the package down on her desk decisively. “Yes, lunch would be good. And it would be nice to get off campus for a while. I don’t have class until this afternoon.” She ignored the tremble in her hands as she grabbed her bag.
Alec looked genuinely surprised, and then pleased. “Wow, great. I’ll drive, since I know where we’re going. If that’s okay?”
Selene locked her office door and shivered at the slightest touch of Alec’s hand against her lower back. She glanced up at her and Alec quickly removed her hand. “Sorry. Old habits.”
“Sure, I’m happy for you to drive. I don’t have my car here, actually. I take the train in.”
They headed to the car, taking the absurd number of stairs down to the lower parking lot. Selene walked behind and noticed the way Alec moved. She seemed so confident. So sure of herself. Selene had a moment of envy, wishing she felt so at home in her own skin. Hell, even on the planet in general. There was something about the way Alec moved though…something about her physique. If Selene looked right at her, everything was fine. But if she looked from the corner of her eye, in her peripheral, something seemed off, like there was a massive shadow of some kind hovering over Alec’s back. She put it off to a trick of the winter sunlight and focused instead on not falling down the steep set of stairs. They got to Alec’s Hummer and Selene laughed.
“I always thought men who needed a shot of machismo drove these. Or military personnel. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman driving one.”
Alec grinned. “First of all, who says I’m not macho? And second, have you really looked at the drivers, or just applied culturally based assumptions?” She held the car door open for Selene.
Selene levered herself into the massive vehicle, using the metal step on the side to climb up. She’d never been in a car so high off the ground. It made her think of being in a double-decker train. The black leather seats were gorgeous, and the inside was immaculate. Alec climbed in the other side.
“You know, now that you say it, I’m not sure. Perhaps I have just assumed.” Selene tried to think of other Hummers she’d seen, but couldn’t actually think of any drivers. “Are you macho?” she asked with a grin.
“Yes. Maybe. Sometimes? I don’t know.” Alec laughed. “But I’m certainly not a man.” She put the car in gear and headed toward the exit. “Mexican food okay?”
Selene began to salivate. She hadn’t had a meal with real flavor in an incredibly long time. “Yes. Most certainly.”
They were quiet as Alec negotiated her way onto the 10 Freeway. “So, tell me about yourself, Selene. Who are you?”
Selene groaned. “That’s an awful question. How does a person ever know where to start with that kind of thing? The details of a person can seem so…banal.”
Alec shook her head and laughed. “If you start with the usual stuff, then that can be true. But if you start with the interesting stuff, and work the other stuff in here and there, it can be way cooler.”
“Oh? Okay, smart one. So you start. All I know about you is that you don’t pay attention to w
here you’re walking, and you teach theology.”
Alec gave her a thoughtful look. “Funny, most people would have said I was religious, rather than I ‘teach theology.’”
“Well, you might be religious. But I know creative writing teachers who don’t write, and science professors who simply teach out of a book, but never do any actual research. You might teach theology but might not be a believer.” Selene wondered if she’d said too much, and steeled herself for an argument, or even an excuse not to have lunch after all.
“Astute. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I like it.”
Selene breathed a sigh of relief. “So, who are you, then?”
Alec’s laugh was infectious, and Selene found herself smiling in return. The little butterflies in her stomach had been away for a very long time.
“I’m a creative. I love pineapple, particularly covered in macadamia nuts and mixed with blueberries. I play guitar, and I love to sing. I’m tone deaf, so you never want to hear me do either of those things. I love to read, and I’m obsessive about gathering knowledge simply because I love to learn.” They pulled into the parking lot of Macho’s Mexican Food.
Selene laughed at the choice of place. “Had you chosen this before our conversation?”
“No. But it seemed appropriate.”
Alec grinned, her cocky one-sided smirk making Selene flush. “I agree.”
They sat at a table near the window in the small restaurant with only a few other patrons around them. When Alec didn’t pick up the menu, Selene motioned at it.
“Aren’t you eating?”
“Most definitely. But I know what I’m having. The chile rellenos here are amazing, and they make the best iced tea in all of Pasadena.”
Selene glanced at the menu, but she knew she’d never be able to decide. It all sounded excellent, and she found herself ravenous for flavorful food. “I think I’ll have the same.”
Alec nodded emphatically. “Good choice.” The waiter came up and she ordered for both of them. Selene raised an eyebrow and Alec looked chastened.
“Sorry. Like I said, old habits. It’s that old-school chivalry thing I can’t seem to shake.” She moved her fork over a millimeter and back again. “So, you were going to tell me about yourself. Go for it.” She leaned forward and steepled her fingers under her chin.
“Okay. We’ll come back to the chivalry thing, at some point. But about me…well…I love pizza, and Guinness—”
“I knew I liked you! Sorry, go on.”
Selene laughed again, and the butterflies turned into butterflies on caffeine. “I love all kinds of music. I don’t own a TV, I’m allergic to pineapple, and I have a fascination with travel.”
“An allergy to pineapple is a travesty. What’s your favorite place in the world? And where do you want to go next?”
“Cyprus. And…I don’t know, really.” Selene leaned back so the waiter could put down the chips and salsa, and took a moment to think about the question. There was a time when she had lived to travel. Every paycheck went toward her next trip, and it was all she could think about. And then she got her tenure, and met Mika. Mika didn’t like to travel because of all the germs and the difficulty of eating foods she was unaccustomed to, so Selene had stopped traveling. She hadn’t been anywhere in years, and the thought made her feel quite low.
“Selene? I’m sorry, have I said something wrong?”
She took a big bite of chips and salsa and closed her eyes. “No, nothing. This salsa is delicious.”
Alec nodded, but she was clearly unconvinced. “It really is. I hope you like the food just as much.” She took a bite herself, then asked, “So, why would a transhumanist not own a TV? I thought you were all about technology making humans better. Does TV not qualify?”
Selene frowned. “Not generally. I think some channels had real potential. Like National Geographic and the Discovery Channel. But even they’ve gone the way of reality television and pop culture claptrap. It used to be there were shows that expanded your knowledge base. Now they just show you people’s over- or underdeveloped bodies and self-esteem issues. Transhumanists, or at least this one, believe that technology can, and should, help the human race evolve. We should use what we’ve created to overcome our limited human condition in order to create a better world.”
Alec continued to munch away on chips as she mulled over Selene’s answer. “Why?”
“Why? What do you mean?”
They paused the conversation to let the waiter put their food on the table. Selene became utterly focused on the beautiful smelling meal in front of her. She hadn’t seen so much fried food and cheese in far too long.
“I mean,” Alec said between bites, “why should we strive to make the world a better place?” She held up her fork to forestall Selene’s response. “I don’t disagree. I just want to understand why you think so.”
Selene relaxed into the seat. She’d nearly jumped out of it at the question, which seemed absurd. “Because we owe it to ourselves as humans, and to our children. We don’t have other planets to live on. One day, we might. But we don’t know when that will be. So we need to make this one as exceptional as it can be. There’s no reason for us to stop evolving simply because we’ve reached the top of the food chain. We should continue to evolve using the truly astounding technology we have at our fingertips. We shouldn’t just rot away, allowing ourselves to only be a percent of what we could be.”
Selene stopped talking and started eating, embarrassed at her little tirade. It was an argument she had often, and it was something she felt strongly about. But getting on her soapbox now, with a perfect stranger, wasn’t the time.
“I don’t know if I agree or not. I’ll have to take the time to ruminate on it.” Alec looked at Selene over the edge of her iced tea. “But I like your passion.”
Selene flushed and put it down to the spice in the food. “Thank you.”
They spent the rest of the meal in surface small talk, and Selene was glad they’d left the heavier topics for another time. Another time? She hoped so. She had so enjoyed the meal and the light banter. It was energizing, invigorating. Exciting.
They climbed back into Alec’s truck and drove the ten minutes in silence. When they got there, Alec turned to her.
“Thank you for lunch. I really enjoyed it. Could we do it again sometime?”
Selene’s pulse raced and she thought her heart might beat out of her chest. She saw Alec’s gaze move to her mouth, and she flushed somewhere lower.
“I’d like that. But, Alec…” She hated that she felt the need to say the words out loud, but knew she had to. “I’m seeing someone. I’ve been with her for several years. So, it would only be as friends, right?”
Alec looked slightly surprised, and Selene was mortified at her own presumption. Not only that Alec was also a lesbian, but that she had any interest at all. “I’m so sorry. How stupid of me. I don’t mean—”
Alec put a fingertip to Selene’s lips. “Stop. Thank you for clarifying, because yes, I would have asked you on a real date. So, if that’s not on the table, can we still have coffee? Maybe next week?”
Selene’s lips burned where Alec’s fingertip lay against them. She moved away from the disturbing sensation. “Of course. I’d like that. Thank you for lunch. And for my sweater.”
Alec placed a hand over her heart. “Thank goodness. Otherwise, I’d have to leave a big plate of pineapple outside your door all the time, until you got freaked out enough to go out with me again.” She winked, and then reached into the glove box and pulled out a business card holder. She passed a card to Selene. “If you want to get together, as friends, give me a call. Otherwise maybe I’ll give you a call sometime next week, for coffee?”
Selene read the business card, but all it had on it was Alec’s name and phone number. “This has a clandestine feel to it.”
Alec laughed, but there seemed to be some nervousness in it. “Nope. Just an easier way to give my number to people, that’s all. Ho
pefully, I’ll get the position here and get new ones. Less mysterious ones.”
Selene opened her door and climbed out. “Thanks again.”
Alec waved. “Believe me, my pleasure.”
She drove away, and Selene turned to watch from the stairs as the Hummer disappeared from sight. Once again, that strange feeling that she couldn’t quite see it properly came upon her, and she grimaced. Maybe it was time to see an eye doctor.
As she made her way back to her office, feeling as though she were walking on marshmallows, she decided not to analyze her feelings just yet. She’d hold on to this feeling as long as she could.
Until I get to Mika’s tonight, anyway.
Chapter Five
“I told you, Meg, it’s not my choice. Want to trade places? Do you want to be the one everyone is looking to? The one responsible for saving hundreds of jobs and lives? If you do, say so, and I’ll gladly switch with you.”
Meg rolled her eyes and tossed her fire red hair behind her. When they were young, her hair would constantly be flaming, to match her temper. Now she controlled it, but the reds and oranges of her eyes still showed when she was pissed off. Like now. “You’re such a drama queen. We know how important it is, Alec. But I don’t see why you can’t carry on with your normal work until you have to spend all your time with her. You’re not meeting her until next week, right? So why am I doing your job tonight? You know I hate the family disturbance stuff.”
“You love the family disturbance stuff. That’s your thing.”
“Not the kind from tonight’s job.” She crossed her arms over her chest, and her hair started to snap and crackle.
“Fine. Okay. You’re right, I don’t have other plans tonight. I’ll clear it with Zed and assure him I won’t let daily work interfere with the big picture. Okay?”
Meg’s hair settled back down, and her eyes returned to their usual jade green. “Better. I promise, once you’re in it up to your neck, Tis and I will have your back. But until then…” She fluffed her hair and straightened the low-cut top.
