by Brey Willows
Tis burst into the room. “Alec, we’ve got to go. The case tonight just changed, and I need to be there too.”
Alec sighed. Tis had some of the worst cases, and she was definitely the one with the temperament suited to them. Icy, remote, and controlled, she was rarely affected by what she had to deal with. Meg waved them off. “I’m making dinner for some friends tonight. Feel free to come over if you’re done early enough.”
Alec waved an acknowledgment without looking back. She saw Tis’s brilliant white hair disappear around the corner ahead. If she was in that much of a hurry, it must be serious. She picked up the pace to catch up with her. Whether she liked it or not, this was her job, and one she’d done successfully for years. She wasn’t about to let down the company now.
*
Once in the car, Tis relaxed slightly. She was always happier when she was on her way somewhere. Anywhere. She despised being stationary. Alec knew that of the three of them, Tis had been hardest hit when they’d moved into a real building rather than the caves and forest homes they’d lived in once upon a time.
“Alec?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you do it?” Tis looked straight ahead, her brow furrowed in the way that meant she had something serious on her mind.
“Do what?”
“What Zed wants you to do. What the board has asked you to do. Save us. Save the organization.” She looked at Alec and away again. “Jesus. How that sounds. When you think of what we are. What we’ve been. And it all comes down to you, and a Demi. Like all the rest of us are just…extraneous. And yet we’re trying to keep our places.”
“Geez, Tis. You sound even more Eeyore than usual. What’s up?”
Tis squeezed her eyes shut and rested her head against the side window. “I’m tired, Alec. I’m tired of the nonstop work. When we started, we kept to our little patch of land, and that felt too big at times. Now we respond to calls all over the world. Sure, there are plenty of other divisions with entities doing what we do, but you know what I mean. Between all of us, we’re not keeping up. People are slipping through the cracks. Egregious crimes are going unpunished. And for what?” She shifted to look at Alec, tears running down her face. “For what, Alec? It all just happens again another day. It used to be that what we did mattered, that after we’d done our jobs, people didn’t do stupid things anymore.” When Alec raised an eyebrow, Tis sighed. “At least, not that particular stupid thing, anyway. But now…” She raised her hands helplessly. “They just do it again, or someone else does it the next moment. It never ends.”
Tis looked out the window for a long moment, before she asked softly, “What is it you’re trying to save?”
Alec stayed silent, stunned. Tis had always seemed so solid, so resilient. She wasn’t prone to flights of temper and narcissism like Meg, or to the black fury and self-doubt that took hold of Alec. If Tis, strong, steady Tis, was feeling this way, how many others in the organization felt the same?
“Would you have me give up? Do you think we should all just…fade?”
Tis shrugged and wiped the tears away with her sleeve. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re fighting for the ones who want to stick around. But maybe the rest of us should be allowed to make the choice.”
Bile rose in the back of Alec’s throat. “The rest of us? Fuck, Tis. What are you saying?”
Tis didn’t respond. She wrapped her arms around herself and rested her head against the side window. They spent the rest of the drive in silence. Alec didn’t push. She couldn’t, because she didn’t have instant answers. She needed to consider her words, her actions. She needed to think and create an answer that made sense. She’d never considered the idea that some of the organization didn’t want to be saved. And Tis was right; why, with all the power, knowledge, and ability in the organization, did she have to go it alone? A feeling of unfair despair washed over her.
When they got there, the house was surrounded by yellow crime scene tape. Blue flashing lights cast sickening shadows on the urban middle class houses. The Hummer pulled to a stop in the middle of the chaos, but of course no one saw it. Tis stopped Alec with a hand on her arm before they got out. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a string of tough cases and it’s making me morose. Don’t let me get to you. If anyone can do what needs to be done, it’s you.” She leaned over and kissed Alec on the cheek. “And you know Meg and I are beside you, come what may.”
Alec pulled her in for a tight hug. “Don’t feel like you have to go it alone either, Tis. You can always talk to me. Talk to someone. Just don’t…don’t fade on me, okay?”
Tis nestled her head in Alec’s neck and nodded, then let go and pulled away. She took a deep breath and visibly pulled herself together. “Let’s go do this, shall we? I’d like to get back for Meg’s dinner.”
They made their way to the house, walking around meandering police staff and crime technicians marking every blade of grass and fallen leaf. Tis sniffed, and Alec saw her eyes change to crimson. She too felt the tang of blood on the back of her tongue, could smell the discharged gunpowder in the air. More than anything, the acrid stench of fear hung thick on the air. They walked inside, and Alec grimaced at the carnage.
She had never gotten used to the damage one human being could inflict on another. Particularly family members. A woman’s body lay sprawled on the living room rug, her blood seeping into the simple geometric pattern and creating a grotesque piece of art. A trail of blood indicated where she’d come from, and they followed it to the rear bedroom, where two children lay still, looking as though they were sleeping, if it weren’t for the bruises around their necks.
Alec unfurled her wings, the pearlescent black sucking all the light from the room. Her snake tattoos came to life on her arms, and she stalked through the house looking for her quarry as the snakes hissed and writhed around her forearms. Tis let her true self come to the fore as well, her white wings highlighting the horror movie scene surrounding them. Alec followed Tis out the back door. They could smell the coward, his fear and self-loathing, his repugnant sense of entitlement. The authorities searched, but had failed to find the basement shelter located under the shed. Tis and Alec dropped through it without opening the hatch.
He sat with his knees to his chest, blood on his hands and shirt. They could hear his thoughts, and while there was a crumb of remorse, his largest concern was how long he could stay hidden so as not to get caught. Tis held out her hand, and Alec took it. They dropped the magic that kept them hidden and appeared to him in all their terrible glory.
He screamed.
And kept screaming.
They held out their free hands, and Alec’s silky black mist twisted around Tis’s red one. Entwined into a deadly spear, the combined mists pierced the man’s chest, came out the other side, and dove back in. Punishment and retribution were theirs for the giving, and this despicable excuse for a living creature deserved no mercy. They gave none.
He would be plagued with visions of what he’d done, ever increasing in horror, until he lost his mind completely. There would be no relief, no pardon, and no escape from the terrors of his days and nights. Tis punished him for the murders, and Alec punished him for his lack of morality, for caring more about his own desires than about right and wrong.
They finished and left him in the dark hole, still screaming incoherently, which brought the police to the shed.
Back in the truck, they left silently. The job was done, like so many before, and so many yet to come.
Alec pulled her outside world cloak back on, but Tis remained in her true form. There was a time Alec hated pretending to be something she wasn’t. But at some point over the years, she’d become just as comfortable in her outside body as she had her true body.
What does that say about me? She didn’t know, and that was more terrifying than anything else she could think of.
*
They pulled up outside the office, both exhausted. The drive back had felt heavy, burdened with unspoken thoughts
and fears. Tis turned to her, eyes still their natural red. “Are you coming to Meg’s for dinner? I think we can probably still get something. And I think we could both use a drink.” She smiled, her razor sharp teeth showing up easily against the black night.
Alec shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. You’ve given me a lot to think about, and I need some sleep. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
“I’m on a job tomorrow, in the East. I won’t be back for a few weeks, probably.”
Alec gave her a tight hug. “Be careful. And if you need anything, call. I’ll come. I promise.”
Tis gave her a sad smile and got out. While she and Alec had chosen to live off-site, Meg still lived on campus. She liked being in the center of things, and her dinner parties were always an eclectic gathering of the organization’s oldest and elite. The last thing Alec felt like doing was answering the same question she’d been asked too many times over the last few days: “Can you do it?”
She drove the three miles back to her place in Venice Beach. Her home on one of the few canals was her sanctuary. With its view of the water and secluded location, she could let down her guard and just be. Added to that was the same kind of haze that kept it from being noticed, like the Hummer. It was there, but not there. Unless invited inside, no one passing by would notice it. Once, the job and her life had been the same, and she’d lived on campus with everyone else. Her entire existence was meant only to do the work. And she’d been fine with that.
But over time, with the changes of humanity, it had been necessary to change. Adapt or die, as the saying went. She’d needed distance, time to feel like her existence was about more than just evil people doing evil things.
She threw off her clothes and reveled in the feeling of the cool air on her naked skin. She stretched her wings, letting the full length of them fill the width of the living room. While the magic only concealed what they were to the outside world, never actually changing them, it still felt like she was shedding a layer of skin when she dropped the magic and existed just as she was. She poured herself a glass of white wine and let the delicate flavor take her back to a simpler time. When right was right, and wrong was wrong. When wrongdoers understood that their actions had consequences. When people looked out for one another. Even the old heroes watched one another’s backs. War was war, and we rarely had work to do when they were occupied with obtaining glory.
Was that true, though? She thought about the family dramas they’d been a part of. Epic tales now, but then, a part of life. Yes, life was more black-and-white then, but the machinations of humans hadn’t really changed. The difference was that most of them back then believed in the repercussions of a poorly lived life with regard to an afterlife. Now, that was rapidly disappearing, and humanity was living in a cesspool of greed and an ever increasing tornado of consumerism. Nothing was ever enough, and now that included family and friends as well as the material stuff.
She thought about Selene and her belief in humanity and the possibility of humans to better themselves. But she also knew Selene’s feelings and views were mixed. While she was a transhumanist who thought the world could be made better through technology, she was also a posthumanist, which meant she thought humans had no special place in the world. They were just another species.
For centuries, Alec had believed in humans. She’d watched them create, build, transform. She watched them save swaths of populations with cures for diseases; she watched them travel to help other countries and even walk on the moon. And then they destroyed. They burned, decimated, blew up entire cities over incoherent moral questions and the desire for more. She and her sisters had been so busy in the 1940s, they’d barely had time to sit down before being called to the next job. At one point, Alec began living in Germany, darting between camps to deliver her particular brand of justice. Humanity had been nothing but a horror. Only later, when they heard tales of heroism, of the underground, of the resistance, did they feel any hope for the race.
She thought about her conversation with Tis and took a deep drink of wine. She needed answers. She needed to understand before she went any further.
And if I don’t get the answers I need? What then?
Chapter Six
Selene picked up the phone and put it down again. She walked away. Came back. Picked it up. Put it down. She flipped the strange business card over in her hand. Put it down. Moved it closer to the phone. Picked up the phone.
Oh, for goodness sake. What the hell is wrong with me?
She knew what was wrong, though. Her dreams had taken an unusual turn. If she had dreams, which was rare, they were often about work, or revolved around the theme of being alone. But these new dreams were fraught with tension. Some were sexual, so sensual and filled with need and longing she woke aching and wet. Others were frightening. She was being chased, her pursuer wanting something from her she couldn’t fathom. Her dream self knew the price of failure was death. She woke from those covered in sweat, her heart pounding, fear coursing through her wildly.
Somehow, she felt like both of the dreams had to do with Alec. The sexual one she could understand. Alec was attractive, charming, and new. Any rational lesbian would be attracted to her. But the terrifying dream, that made no sense. She thought of the strange feeling she had of not seeing Alec properly, of the blurry effect she’d experienced.
Stupid. The sun this time of year always created superficial auras. She shook off the feeling and picked up the phone.
“Hello?”
She went to speak but nothing came out. She tried again, and this time was mortified at the croaking sound she managed.
“Sorry? I didn’t catch that.”
“Me. It’s me. Selene. From the university. Hi.”
“Oh, hey there. I’m glad you called.”
Glad. She’s glad. That’s good. Breathe, stupid. “I was wondering, if you were on campus, if you wanted to have coffee? One I could drink, rather than wear?” She winced. Excellent. Remind her of her clumsy moment.
Alec laughed. “Well, that’s not as much fun, but I accept. Tomorrow?”
“Today. I mean, are you around today?”
There was a slight hesitation before Alec said, “Yeah. I can do that. Three o’clock?”
Selene finally allowed herself a normal breath. “That sounds great. See you then.” She hung up without saying another word, then cursed herself for her rudeness. She plopped down on her sofa. She’d done it. For three days, she’d thought about Alec, dreamt of her, replayed their conversations over and over again, and thought of a trillion more things she wanted to ask, wanted to say. She couldn’t help but notice that the feelings she got in her tummy, not to mention between her legs, when she thought of Alec were far different from anything she’d ever felt with Mika. The thought was jarring, and ethically, she knew she was walking in unknown territory by inviting Alec for coffee. She said she wanted a friend. And I do. There’s nothing wrong with that.
She riffled through her clothes, this time choosing something she liked, rather than what someone else would like. She slid into the fitted pencil skirt and loose sweater, and topped off the outfit with cute flat boots. It wasn’t sexy, necessarily, but it made her happy. And she always found happy people more attractive than sad ones. Perhaps because they often seemed her opposite.
She grabbed her keys and headed for work, already wishing the day away. In an effort to focus on something other than Alec, she studied her notes for the day’s classes on the train. Mark, the conductor, wasn’t there, which was too bad. She would’ve liked to have spoken to him and gotten his views on theological teaching at the university level. Although he’d not gone far in education, he’d taught himself more than many of her students had learned at college. And he complemented it with the experience that comes with age. She certainly didn’t agree with his views on religion, but she appreciated his candor.
When she got to her building, she stopped at reception to sign in, and the young woman jumped up from her chair
. “Oh, wait. Something came for you.”
She hurried away and came back holding an enormous bouquet of flowers. “Normally, I’d leave them in front of your office door in case I missed you, but they’re too big. Someone must really like you. A bouquet like this costs a fortune.”
Selene had never bought flowers for anyone, nor could she remember anyone buying her any, so she had no idea what they cost. She sniffed appreciatively at the mix of roses, tulips, and tiger lilies. It was truly gorgeous. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” She slung her laptop bag over her shoulder and picked up the heavy vase.
“Aren’t you going to open the card?” the student asked, looking hopeful.
“I will. In my office.” Selene smiled gently. She didn’t let her students know anything about her personal life. She felt it necessary to keep the two completely separate. It was known she was a lesbian, as she often attended the staff and student LGBTQ events, though never with Mika. She’d asked her to attend once or twice, but Mika had made it clear she wasn’t about to spend her evening with “smart people wasting their talents on people who didn’t appreciate it.” I wonder if Alec would attend something like that?
She pushed the thought away. No. That would be crossing a boundary. Coffee, during the day, was one thing. She hadn’t felt the need to tell Mika about it. She’d just get paranoid and pouty, and given there was no reason for it, Selene decided not to say anything. Guilt niggled at her, though. She wasn’t about to mention today’s coffee, either, and she knew that once you started keeping secrets like that, it could be a slippery slope. I’ll tell her before dinner tomorrow. That I have a new friend. Then it will be okay. She was rationalizing, and she knew it. But maybe once it was out in the open, some of the mystique around it would fade.
She barely managed to juggle the flowers and her bag to get her office door open, and when she looked at her sweater, it was covered with yellow pollen smears. She grimaced and opened the card. She knew they wouldn’t be from Mika, as she considered flowers a silly waste of money.
