by Brey Willows
“Wow, that’s amazing, babe. You must be ecstatic. When do you start?”
“I haven’t decided to do it yet.”
Mika looked at her incredulously. “What do you mean? That could take your career in entirely new directions. You could do totally new research. Work with one of the most amazing men in your field. Why wouldn’t you do it?”
“I’d have to move, first of all. Which I don’t want to do. I’d have to be on TV, in the public eye, and you know how much I hate that. My interest is philosophy, not religion. And what if I end up not liking him? Or he doesn’t like me?”
Mika shook her head and kept eating. “You’d be making a mistake. Moving isn’t a big deal. It’s not like it’s forever, and it isn’t as if you can’t ever come back. They have people who can make you look good for TV and the public, so you wouldn’t have to worry about that. And you don’t have to like him, you just have to work with him. Don’t be stupid.”
Selene pushed her plate away. “You wouldn’t care if I moved away?”
Mika sighed and took a sip of her wine, not meeting Selene’s eyes. “I think it might be good if we took a bit of a break anyway.”
Selene’s stomach lurched. “You’re breaking up with me?”
“No. No, I’m not. And I don’t think we should see other people. I just think we could use some time apart. Time for the heart to grow fonder.” She shrugged, still looking at the table. “We’ve become stuck in a rut, and that’s not good for either of us. You can get out of it by taking the job with Falconi, and that, in turn, will help us rekindle our interest in each other.” She finally looked at Selene’s face. “It’s a win all the way around.”
Selene sat there, silent and stunned, for a long moment. Slowly, she stood and took her plate to the kitchen. She put it on the counter without scraping it clean and left it next to the other dishes. Mika hated a dirty kitchen. She gathered her purse and coat without saying a word. When she got to the door, she finally stopped, and without turning around, said, “You can have your break, regardless if I take the job with Falconi or not. Call me when you’re sure you’d like me to come back around. If I’m available, maybe I’ll come.”
She left, allowing the door to close softly behind her. There was no attempt to stop her. She let her tears mix with the rare California rain as she headed for the train station.
*
Finally home, Selene lay in her deep claw foot tub, immersed in a steamy bubble bath. A cup of chamomile tea settled her stomach, but did little to calm her mind.
She broke up with me. Although Mika had said otherwise, you didn’t tell someone you needed a break from them unless that’s what you were doing. It was another person in a long line of people who didn’t want her around anymore. My mother didn’t want me. None of my foster families even liked me enough to keep me around. And now, yet another girlfriend is tired of me. A soft sob escaped her and she pushed herself deeper in the water. What is it about me that drives people away? Her shoulders shook as she held back the deeper sobs that wanted to break free. She wouldn’t give in, though she desperately wanted to. Past experience told her just what it cost to give in to emotional devastation. It was astounding how many foster parents felt tears were a direct insult, a kind of judgment on their parenting, and found ways to quickly discourage any kind of crying. All her life, she wanted to be loved, without hesitation, without strings or barriers, but she’d always been just a bit too strange, a little too odd, and it had made those who were meant to care for her uncomfortable. And now, the thought that she’d failed, again…she felt a rip inside, in what she’d call her soul, if she were that way inclined.
With a sudden need to let out the rage building inside her, she threw her mug across the room and watched with satisfaction as it shattered against the pale blue tile. She curled into a ball in the water and wished it could embrace her. She longed for a hug, for human contact, in a way she hadn’t since she was a child. Her house felt too big, too empty. She jumped from the tub and wrapped herself in one of her fluffy, oversized towels. She threw open her closet and started to rummage.
Tight black jeans, a sheer black blouse over a lacy black bra, and knee high black boots were what she finally left the house in. A mound of discarded clothes littered the floor and bed, all deemed too conservative or frumpy. Tonight she needed to feel sexy. Alive. She wanted to feel noticed. She grabbed her car keys and backed her CR-V out of the drive, but hit the brakes when she thought she saw something run behind the car. With her heart pounding, she got out and looked behind the car. Nothing. Up and down the street, nothing but a pair of squirrels chasing one another around a tree, and the howl of a coyote in the distance. Rubbing the goose bumps that rippled over her arms, she quickly got back in the car. It’s just this stupid feeling of being so alone. She headed out, leaving her little mountain home behind in an effort to fling herself at the potential kindness of strangers.
*
Alec watched as Selene left home. For a moment, she’d known Selene felt her, even though she had her guard up. When she’d gotten out of her car to check, Alec had felt a moment of panic that Selene would somehow manage to see her standing there in the trees, watching her. She was in her true form, and for Selene to see her that way now, before she’d had a chance to really explain things to her, would have been disastrous. Although Selene had looked almost directly at her, she’d not seen her. A blessing, and yet disappointing too.
Now, Alec debated what to do. Did she follow Selene to wherever she was going? Or did she have a look inside the house, to make sure there wasn’t anything going on she wasn’t aware of? She kept going back to the feeling of being watched, and it made her feel increasingly uneasy. Granted, it could have been a colleague or student, but it hadn’t felt that way. It had almost felt like it was someone from the Company, but she knew she was the only one allowed near Selene, thanks to the oracle. And when Selene had left Mika’s, Alec had sensed her pain and sorrow, and had been desperate to go to her, give her comfort of some kind. But she couldn’t do that without giving herself away, and that wasn’t acceptable.
Hell, it would’ve done more than give me away. I can’t get involved like that. But damn, did she want to. She took a last look at Selene’s house before she launched herself into the air, spreading her wings to catch the mountain thermals. Tonight, she’d watch out for Selene. There would be another time to look at the house.
*
Selene opened the door to the little lesbian bar in the middle of the desert. The one in the valley would have been closer, but this one pretty much guaranteed she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew, and since it was a Wednesday night, it wouldn’t be too crowded. It was dark, with horrible carpet that lit up under the black lights overhead. A pool table in a back room had a group of women gathered around it, laughing more than playing. A few bodies swayed on the dance floor, and a scattering of others sat at the small tables surrounding the dance floor and tucked into corners. The bar between the rooms looked well stocked, and a short-haired bartender watching a movie on a propped up iPad glanced up at her with a smile.
“Hey there. What can I get you?”
Selene considered the question. She always had wine when she was out with Mika, who believed it was classier than other alcohol. “Black and tan, please.”
“Nice. Want a Mississippi Mud, or a fresh one?”
“Fresh, please.”
She turned to make the Guinness and Bass mixture, and Selene admired the bartender’s body. Short and stocky, she still seemed to have a nice layer of muscle under the Staff T-shirt she wore. She moved gracefully, as though she’d been behind that bar during her formative years. When she turned back with the overflowing glass, Selene gave her a genuine smile.
“Thanks. It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of these.”
The bartender took her money and handed over the change. “In that case, go slow. These can have a wicked kick if you’re not used to them.”
Selene took
a sip and smiled as the bitter-smooth taste flooded her mouth. “I will. And hopefully, I’ll dance some of it off.” She took her drink over to an empty table near the dance floor. She felt conspicuous, but there was another feeling too, one she didn’t recognize. She focused on it, analyzed it, worked it through her shoulder blades and lower back. Freedom. It was freedom running through her. A lack of expectation and obedience to social norms. Tonight, she could be herself. Just the way she wanted to be, regardless of anyone else’s desires. She closed her eyes and reveled in the feeling for a moment. A tap on her shoulder had her looking up at an extremely tall woman with a pierced lip.
“Care to dance?” she asked.
Selene nodded, not trusting her voice not to break with nerves and excitement. She hoped she looked calmer than she felt. They began to move to the beat, a quick, thumping bass Selene felt from the bottoms of her feet to her scalp. She closed her eyes and let herself go. In a moment, she felt the stranger’s body move closer, felt her thighs against her own. Startled, she started to pull away, but then relaxed into it instead. She opened her eyes and looked into the stranger’s, and saw exactly what she’d wanted to see tonight. Desire. Lust. Eagerness.
She pressed back against the stranger and they moved together, hips swaying quickly as they moved forward and retreated. The stranger spun her around so her butt was pressed against her crotch. Strong hands held her hips tightly as they moved and Selene’s body warmed like caramel in the sun. The song ended and she pulled away, breathless, warm, and buzzing. “Thank you,” she said.
“My pleasure. Another later?” the woman asked with a lopsided grin.
“Sure.” Selene retreated to her table and took a long drink of her beer. Energy coursed through her. She could almost see herself opening her blouse, offering herself up…she nearly laughed out loud and covered it by taking a drink. She felt wild, wanton.
Another person asked her to dance, and after that, another. A fresh beer appeared on her table, and another. Time slipped past and she was shocked when last call was shouted from the bar. The stranger she’d danced with first came back to her table.
“Every time I came over to ask for a dance, someone else beat me to it.” She shrugged almost apologetically.
Selene giggled, and in that moment realized how drunk she was. She laughed outright. “No problem. I think you had other people to keep you occupied.” She gestured at the group of women gathered around the pool table, who were putting on their coats and getting ready to leave.
“Yeah, well, none of them were you.” She held out a hand and pulled Selene from her seat. “It seems to me you’re in no shape to drive. So maybe I could take you home with me?”
The look in her eyes left no question as to what she had in mind. Selene’s body responded in full. She felt her nipples harden and her panties grow wet. She could imagine the stranger’s hands on her, in her. She pulled away slightly and looked at her. The mirror-ball light caught the side of her face, and suddenly, there was something not right. Something dark and unpleasant.
Selene slid her hand from the woman’s grasp and tried to smile. She wavered on her feet more than necessary. “Another time, I would have liked that. But I think I’m too drunk to be good company. I don’t think I can even keep my eyes open. I’ll call a cab.” She picked up her bag and coat and headed to the bar, backing away. She didn’t like the look in the woman’s eyes. “A rain check?”
The woman shrugged, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Sure, no problem. See you around.”
Selene breathed a bit easier when she got to the bar. The bartender looked at her with a wise expression.
“Good call. How can I help?” she said.
“Thanks. Can you call me a cab? I’m not going to be able to drive home, so I’ll have to get a hotel room. Can I leave my car here overnight?”
The bartender was already on the phone. When she hung up, she said, “Yeah, of course. I can’t remember the last time we had a break-in. It should be fine. Your cab will be here in about ten minutes. You can wait in here with me, if you want?”
The group that had been at the pool table were gone, with just a few remaining people left in the bar. “No, that’s okay, thanks. I think some fresh air will do me good.”
“No problem. Come back in if you have any problems.”
Selene waved and headed into the welcome cold air of early morning. It was the true dark before the dawn, pitch-black and freezing cold. She pulled her jacket tighter around her. A few cars were still in the lot, and as one pulled away, she reconsidered going inside. Just as she turned to do so, three figures came out of the shadows. She gasped and stumbled back.
“Hey there. Sorry, no need to be scared. We just thought we’d keep you company.” The stranger she’d turned down stood in front of two others, people she’d also danced with.
“Oh, thanks. I think I’m okay, though. Actually, I was just going to head back inside. Too cold out here, you know?” Fear fluttered in her stomach, turning her legs to Jell-O.
“We can help with the cold, can’t we?” the stranger said with a nasty smile to her friends, who laughed.
“I don’t want any trouble. Please.”
They advanced toward her, and she was forced to move farther into the parking lot, away from the bar’s entrance. She moved into the shadows and realized they were backing her into a side alleyway.
“It’s no trouble at all, princess. I promise.”
The woman reached out and grabbed at her, her face twisted in an evil leer. Selene jumped back, and the stranger only managed to grab her shirt, which tore open. Selene pulled it shut, closing her jacket over it, and considered her options. She could see the street at the other end of the alley, with plenty of cars still passing by. If she could make it that far, she’d be safe. She ran.
There was a brief, muffled scream behind her, and then silence. No footsteps to suggest she was being chased. She turned, still backing toward the main street.
The alley was empty.
Chapter Eight
Alec rested her head on the table. She could hear the other staff on the floor going about their daily duties, getting ready for lunch, but she didn’t have the energy to make small talk with anyone. Or conversation of a deeper nature, either. Too many questions pummeled her brain, too many emotions flooded her body.
She needed answers.
Zed came in, quickly followed by Ama. He slid into a chair and motioned for Ama to join him on his right.
Damn. He looks…old. Zed had always been old. No one really knew just how old he was, or when he’d come into existence. Records didn’t go that far back. But no one remembered him being anything but old. But today, he actually looked elderly, as though he was wearing his age like a heavy cloak. She glanced at Ama, who returned her look of concern.
“You okay, Z?”
He nodded. “Weaker by the day, it seems. But I’ll be fine. What’s on your mind?”
She hesitated. Given his weakened state, should she trouble him? She thought of the previous night. “Zed, I need to understand some things. Can you answer some questions for me?” Regardless of the number of years behind them, Zed was her boss, and disrespect wasn’t her thing.
“Go ahead, Alec. If I can answer, I will.”
“That sounds ominously oracle-like.”
He shrugged and gave her a tired grin. “Old habits, you know. Go on.”
“Okay. When you chose me for this assignment, I accepted it, just figuring other folks were busy or whatever. But the truth is, I don’t get it. Why me? And why me alone? Why aren’t there other people helping me out? I mean, there are people way more powerful. Older, wiser, all that shit.” She tilted her head apologetically. Zed disliked swearing. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “Anything else?”
“Isn’t that enough?”
He looked at Ama. “Can you get the purple file off my desk, please?”
She nodded and left silently.
Ama was rarely respectful, and even more rarely quiet. Something bad was going on for sure.
“Alec, I’ll tell you what I can; you deserve that much. While we’re waiting for the file, though, tell me how things are going with Selene.”
She sighed and rubbed her neck. “There was an incident last night. She’s got some personal stuff going on, and she took a risk last night that nearly got her in trouble. But I was following her, so I took care of it.” The thought of what could have happened to Selene made her feel ill. She’d dealt with all of the women in her normal fashion, and they wouldn’t be bothering other women again. “I think it probably scared her enough to keep her inside for a while.”
“Then this is a good time to get close. Use her fear and vulnerability to further your connection with her. We can’t take much longer to get things going.”
Before Alec could continue, Ama came back with the requested file. She handed it to Zed, who pushed it across to Alec.
“This is all the information I’ve got, one of the original versions of the oracle. I’ve tried asking the Fates some questions myself, and I’ve got nothing more than what’s already in there. I’ve even tried asking other departments if they have similar information, or a parallel situation, and not one of them does.”
She opened the file and began to read the written version of the oracle, passed down by the Fates, as oracles always were. Once upon a time, they’d sat in caves or on hilltops and given out oracles orally. Now, it was done via computer, like everything else. She skimmed the pages quickly, then looked up incredulously when she was done. “Seriously?”
He looked morose. “Seriously. That’s it. That’s why.”
Alec leaned back in her chair. Her wings itched to stretch open. “It doesn’t say anything about me doing it alone.”
“No, it doesn’t. But if you don’t, how do you propose to get close to her? Do you think showing up with a crew, or an entourage, in your case, is going to work for you? Maybe once you’ve got her here, and she accepts her role in this, then you can draw together a team for marketing purposes. Maybe even for recruitment. But until that point…” He slumped in his chair. “Until then, Alec, it’s you.”
