One Moment (The Little Hollow Series Book 1)

by Danielle Dickson

  “Every time I’ve come back here, I’ve wanted to come tell you why I couldn’t be here for you, why I couldn’t console you when you needed me.” I stopped to clear my throat, now was not the time to cry. “In a roundabout way, it was for you. I couldn’t just waltz right back into your life like nothing had happened.”

  She scoffed. “You wouldn’t have had to if you never would have left in the first place.” I couldn’t fault her logic.

  “I know that!” I raised my voice a little more than I intended to and I saw her flinch, I kicked the ground completely frustrated with myself. Just spit it out already, I said to myself. “I had to leave because my mom needed me to get her away from here.”

  Even in this light, I could see her eyes spark with intensity but she didn’t say anything. “I was planning on going home and coming right back to you. I walked into my house and the photos that were on the walls were strewn across the floor, vases and lamps were broken and scattered over the room too. I could hear crying and banging coming from their room, naturally, I ran towards the commotion but it was just my mom throwing things in suitcases. I tried to tell her what had happened but nothing would come out of my mouth, I just stood there gaping at her. She started telling me we had to go. I was confused and I told her I couldn’t leave. Sammy, Tony had found out about us fixing Ben’s car in the garage a few days before my birthday, do you remember?” I waited until she nodded and then continued, “Anyway, he was drunk and he beat my mom. He told her he was coming after me next and took his gun out, he wanted to hit her where it hurt.”

  At that, she gasped but I just continued relaying the night to her. “The next thing I knew, we were in my room packing. My hands were moving of their own accord and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Then we were driving out of town, I drove for miles upon miles that night not wanting to stop but at the same time, fighting myself from not turning back around. It all happened so fast.” Looking out into the woods, a tear rolled down my cheek and I swiped at it before Sammy could see.

  “There was not one moment that I didn’t want to come back for you.” I gathered my composure and turned to look at her. Silent tears were falling down her face and I just wanted to gather her up into my arms.

  “But you didn’t. You never came back, you never called, you never text. But then again, you did come back didn’t you? A year later you came back. Don’t even think for a minute I haven’t worked it out by now. Those key chains have been there every single year since. I was confused at first and a little weirded out. But then I just figured it was my mom’s way of coping alongside her drinking.” She took a deep breath. “But no, you came back every single year. Stuck that stupid key chain on the dock, then left.”

  She was right, it was selfish of me to not have got in contact with her.

  “I can’t say anything other than I thought it was for the best. As the years went on, it got harder to even think about attempting it. You started to look like you were getting on with your life, who was I…” What did I say?

  “You’ve been watching me? Like some kind of stalker? This has got to be some sick twisted joke. Is this a game to you?”

  I was taken aback by her sudden mood change. “Of course I don’t think this is a game, I can’t do anything but apologize to you. I said I came here to explain and I have.” She was silent for several seconds and all I could hear was our breathing sounding harsh against the silence.

  “Yes, you have. And you said if I wanted you to leave then you’d leave, right?”

  My heart started pounding and I reached out for her. “No! Answer the question, Connor.” I nodded silently. “Then leave, I don’t want anything else from you.”

  I was hoping it wouldn’t go down this way but I guess it was inevitable. I looked into her eyes and I thought back to what Lyle had asked me earlier today. In that moment, I just knew. It was now or never.

  I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and she flinched slightly as my thumb made a path down her silk like cheek to wipe her tears away.

  “I’ll stay true to my word if you tell me one thing.” I noticed that her lip had started to tremble and my thumb automatically went to touch it but I thought better of it and kept it where it was, cupping her face. “Look me in the eye and tell me you haven’t ever loved me. Not in the way friends do either. Sammy, look at me.”

  Her eyes flicked towards mine and this time when I looked into them, I could read her like a book. All those old emotions came flooding back to me and before I knew what I was doing, I was tasting her lips greedily.

  I slowed it down because if she was letting me have this moment then I wanted to savor every part of it. I could taste the saltiness of her tears as they came streaming down her face, she pulled away from me and dropped to the floor on her knees. I went to go to her but she put up her hand with her head still turned towards the ground.

  “No. Please, just leave, Connor.”

  “I can’t just leave you here on your own like this. At least let me walk you home.” She shook her head. “I just need to know you’re safe.” I bent down and touched her arm.

  “I have looked after myself for over thirteen years now, I think I can manage just fine without you shadowing me home.”

  I hesitated before giving her a kiss on the top of her head. “Just for the record, I’ve loved you since the moment I first set my eyes on you. Thank you for hearing me out when I didn’t deserve it. I’ll respect your wishes now. Goodbye, Sammy.” I lingered there for a moment waiting for her to reply but she kept her head down so I turned and started walking back to the community hall.

  I couldn’t just leave her there on her own. Striding into the building, I ignored all the strange looks I got and quickly located Keeley and Lewis at the table Sammy had been sat at earlier.

  Keeley raised her brow at me and I shook my head. “Sammy’s at the old oak tree in the park, she needs you.” She narrowed her eyes at me before turning to Lewis and saying a quick goodbye.

  “What happened?” Lew asked.

  I blew out a long breath before taking a seat. “She wants me gone. I had to make it back for work anyway but I was hoping I’d leave on amicable terms.” It was his turn to raise a brow. “Too optimistic?”

  “At least she knows the full story now so that she can make her own decision. When are you leaving?”

  I was expecting to just go after I’d collected my things from the B&B and I told him just that.

  “Well, you’ve got my cell number. Don’t be a stranger, okay?” I nodded and shook his hand before heading on out.

  As I got in my truck, my heart clenched, my head said to just drive but my heart wanted to run back to her.

  My head won and I turned on the ignition.

  “You look like a monkey and you smell like one too.” Tommy was rolling around the picnic blanket in a fit of laughter.

  “Gee, thanks, guys.” I feigned hurt and blew out my candles before shooting a dazzling smile across at Connor.

  “What did you wish for? No wait, don’t tell me! Was it a scooter? A gun that shoots lasers? A-” As he carried on speculating on my wish, I still hadn’t taken my eyes off my best friend. I shouldn’t be feeling these butterflies but they just kept on coming when I was around him.

  I turned my head and blushed. “Did I get it right? Just tell me.” Tommy pulled on my cardigan and I patted his hand.

  “I think someone’s drank too much soda.” His face twisted into a scowl as if he was going to argue with me.

  “How about we top you up with a big slice of cake too?” Great, thanks, Connor, I thought. But at least we’d avoided a mini meltdown.

  He passed me one over too before cutting a piece of his own. Mmm red velvet, my favorite.

  “Hey, there’s one photo left on this camera, you two get together?” Connor had got me lots of little trinkets from my favorite stores, including a disposable camera from the gas station we broke down outside a few months back.

  We planned to get it develo
ped and then get copies made for each of us to remember today by. As I smiled into the camera with Tommy hanging off my neck doing one of his cheeky grins, I realized that things could be much worse and I decided that whatever life threw at me, I could handle it. I may not have it all, but what I did have was all that I needed.

  I was sad when it was time to pack up and go home. I’d had the perfect birthday but I needed to get Tommy back before he had a major sugar crash. Half way there, he started complaining that his legs were tired so I took the basket and blanket off Connor.

  I watched him hoist Tommy up onto his back with a smile on my face. What other sixteen-year-old would be happy to spend a whole day with a nine-year-old, time and time again?

  After ten minutes, he blew out a breath. “Phwoar, you’re getting heavy, bud. I don’t know how much longer I can do this for.”

  Tommy kicked his heels into Connor’s sides playfully shouting, “Giddy up!” I just got a look before he took off pretending to gallop. He got one-hundred meters away before having to put him down. “Aww, that was fun.”

  “It was but I’m pretty sure I just pulled something.” He rotated his shoulder a few times then turned around giving me a wink. I watched Tommy run off ahead, apparently his legs weren’t tired anymore.

  We were a block away from our house and I was already starting to feel the withdrawal from being with Connor.

  “You don’t have to walk us to the door you know, I know where I live.”

  He chuckled and grabbed the basket off me. “Well, maybe I want to walk you.” I wish things could be this easy all of the time, I dreaded going into this house. “Is it okay if I come in for a bit? I’ve got nothing else to do.”

  I could see his unease, if he didn’t want go home yet then I wasn’t going to make him, plus my mom wouldn’t be home anyway.

  “Sure, make us some drinks and I’ll get Tommy ready for bed.” He nodded and headed for the kitchen as I went in the direction of the bathroom. “Come on you, time to do your teeth.” I pointed at the sink and I made sure he had started brushing before I gave him some privacy.

  He had turned nine three months ago and I really needed to stop babying him the way I did. But I couldn’t help it, I wanted to shower him with love and affection and if that was so wrong of me, then I’d take the title gladly because he deserved all the love he could get.

  I lay out his pajamas on his bed and popped my head around the bathroom door. “Come say goodnight when you’re all done.” He gave me a muffled ‘okay’ and I headed into the living room to sit down next to Connor.

  “Long day.” It was a statement more than a question. I nodded in agreement with a smile on my face. It had been a long day, but in a good way. We’d gone down to the lake and had a ride on the peddle boats before making our way to the park for a picnic and to play Frisbee and football.

  Of course, we let Tommy win every game even though the football was a little too big for his hands.

  “What you guys doing?” Coming to sit down in between us, I could tell he was starting to crash.

  “We were just talking about how good a day today was.” Never one to want to miss out on anything, he fidgeted about; trying to put off going to bed. “I don’t need to tell you what time it is…” I trailed off, he huffed and Connor laughed.

  “I know, I know. Night, Sammy. Night, Con.” He gave Connor a high five and me a quick hug before I could capture him into one of my bear ones.

  We both stayed silent as we flipped through the TV channels, there wasn’t much of anything on. “Sixteen. I still remember you as a puny twelve-year-old.” Connor faced the TV with a smirk on his face.

  “Err, I was almost thirteen when we met. Okay, maybe not almost but I was only five months away.”

  “Still doesn’t change the fact you were small.”

  I pushed his shoulder. “Hey! You weren’t exactly Mr Tall back then either. You seem to have taken some form of magic pill and outgrew me.” He turned, his face more serious now.

  “You’ve had a good day though, haven’t you?” I blushed at his intensity.

  “The best.”

  He took hold of my hand. “Well, it’s about to get better, I still haven’t given you the birthday bumps yet.” I jumped up from the sofa before he could give me my first one, he did it every year without fail.

  “No! Aren’t we a little old for that now?”

  He feigned a shocked expression. “Samantha Reynolds, too old for birthday bumps? Well, I guess I’ll just have to give you a couple extra for answering back.”

  He sprung for me and I tried to keep the noise down as I squealed. We ran around the sofa a few times, him chasing me until he ran the other way and picked me up around the waist to lower me onto the floor. “You can’t get away from me.” I laughed as his fingers tickled my ribs.

  “Ss-sst-stop! You win!”

  He paused. “I what?” He resumed his tickling.

  “I said, you win!” We were both belly laughing at this point. It took a few minutes but by the time we had both started to calm down, I realized he was still straddling me and I froze. He seemed to have the same thought at the same time and looked down into my eyes, all playfulness gone.

  “I love seeing you smile.” My eyes flickered between his warm brown ones and I made the mistake of tracing his face with my hand as he let my arms go. I could feel the electricity running between us as he brought his hand up to meet mine and kissed my palm. He whispered ‘my Sammy’ and I was captivated by him.

  He started to pull me up until my face was level with his.

  “There’s one more gift I’d like to give you.” Then his lips were on mine. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, it was soft and gentle.

  Connor was kissing me.

  I didn’t know what to make of it but I didn’t want to ruin the moment so I stayed completely still, taking it all in.

  He moved away ever so slightly to look into my eyes before pushing his lips against mine for one last kiss. Pulling away, he pushed my hair behind my ear.

  “I should get going now.” I didn’t open my eyes, I wanted to savor the moment. “Happy birthday, Sammy.”

  I was left speechless as he lifted up off the floor and walked out the door. Still sitting in the middle of my living room, I leaned back with a huge smile on my face.

  Connor just kissed me.

  “What do you mean he kissed you?” I swiped at my cheeks to clear the remaining tears away.

  “It means he kissed me, Kee. There’s nothing more to understand. Why did he do that? URGH! I’m so angry with him.” My fists flew at the ground in a burst of rage.

  I felt a hand on my back. “You’ve got every right to be angry with him, I can’t believe he kissed you. Did you listen to what he said to you though? You can’t blame him for why he had to leave.”

  How would she know? I stared at her and her eyes darted away from mine. She knew.

  “You knew he was coming tonight, didn’t you? That’s why I’m wearing this ridiculous outfit and why you made sure I had my hair all done?” I turned away from her.

  “Yeah, I did know he was coming. You needed clarity and he brought it to you. You may have a right to be upset right now but don’t take your anger out on me.” That was me told.

  She took a deep breath before standing up and holding a hand out to me. “Let’s just go home and binge watch car crash TV, we can talk about this tomorrow.”

  I thought back to her and Lewis dancing at the fundraiser. “No, I’ll go on my own. You go have a good time, I promise I’ll be alright.” I could do with some time alone anyway but I could see the reluctance in her face.

  “Honestly, Kee, I just want to go have a hot shower and curl up in my bed, I’m not feeling all that sociable.” I gave her a quick smile when she told me to call her if I needed anything. Always so protective.

  We headed in opposite directions and I started on the ten-minute walk back to the apartment.

  I had goose bumps all the way back, I coul
dn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching me. If it was Connor, he was in for a shock. I whizzed around as fast as I could but I couldn’t see anything apart from a few cars parked along the road. Just my mind playing tricks on me then I guessed.

  Shaking it off, I let myself into the salon remembering to lock up behind me as Kee had her keys with her. It was pitch black in here and I felt the hairs stand up on my arms. I didn’t know why I was so on edge but I quickly made a dash for the stairs to the apartment and locked the door behind me on the way in, something I never did unless Kee was here with me, before walking towards the kitchen for a glass of water.

  I was parched from all the crying and the dancing I’d done with Kee. I was starting to have a good time before Connor had turned up, although I was feeling a little like a third wheel.

  Finishing the glass off in three big gulps, I walked to the bathroom and started stripping off to get under the red hot shower. That’s when the tears started to fall again. I hadn’t had time to process what Connor had told me until now, I slunk down the tiles and sat under the water as I let the emotions pour out of me.

  He said he didn’t have a choice and I guess I saw that, I just couldn’t understand why he hadn’t contacted me at any point. I had nothing left here, I would’ve went with him, I could’ve started over. Then it hit me.

  I was angry at him for not coming back for me but I was furious because he got to start over somewhere where no one knew him. I’d dreamt about being able to do that ever since the accident but I never had the courage to just leave.

  But I would’ve left if I had someone to be with, somewhere to go. If only he had just let me know where he was.

  I stayed in the shower until the water started to run cold, getting out I wrapped myself in a big fluffy towel and shuffled towards my room. I felt so dejected and unwanted. He wasn’t thinking about my happiness. He was only worried about himself and the backlash it would bring, good riddance to him.