“You are in adequate physical shape, my one.” He’d told her seriously, “But not so good as to run, climb or swim for hours on end. Not yet. We are building your strength. Not attempting to cripple you.”
Every day, she was growing more and more accustomed to his towering presence at her side. Accustomed to waking up to find him sitting in that same chair. Waiting for her to wake up with a little smile on his handsome face. She could feel that fragile thing he called a bond beginning to take root and grow inside her. Like the most delicate electrical filament sending sensations and insights into her mind. Into her heart, directly from Ohlen’s.
She was beginning to feel him, like a warm buzz behind her eyes. A comfortingly constant pressure.
A second warship had come into proximity of theirs. Another Sarazen vessel authorized to seek out what remained of the humans, if any, and bring them back to the Sarazen home-world. The commander of the second ship had asked to stop and allow his warriors a chance to see if any of the human women were potential mates.
The human women had agreed to that yesterday. Cautiously agreed, but agreed all the same. Agreed because of the way Commander Tarek treated Clary. How Ga’rae treated Gwen. How Falken handled prickly Cassie with such patience. Mostly she’d been told that they had agreed, because of how caring Ohlen was with her.
So now sitting here with the crew, listening to Clary explain in pained, angry details about the Sarazen Breeding Festival. It felt like someone had reached inside her and torn out that fragile bond by the roots. Wires sparking and sizzling as they tried and failed to connect.
Fear surged. Turning the warmth Andi had gathered to insidious black ice. Freezing her straight through as she listened to the detailed explanation of just what was going to happen to them at this festival. What was expected of her. Of the other human mates. They were to be brought to one of the forested planets. Put somewhere far away from their mates. Separated and expected to find one another via scent, in the midst of thousands, hundreds of thousands of other people. Other Sarazens. Half of the alien race able to shift into the predatory creatures she had seen Ohlen become. The others only able to morph into a half shape.
A hunt. And they were the prey.
Her heartbeat thudded against her ribs, like fists banging on a door. The sound of her breathing so loud in her ears it was almost all she could hear. Voices of her people surged around her. Angry, frightened, upset. The sound filtered as though coming from another room.
Andi sat there as horrifying flashes of what it might be like ran across her sight. Ohlen had shown her the forests on Saraz in the holo-room. Shown her the kind of place that they would be brought for the festival. Trees so thick the canopy blocked out the sunlight. Trunks so wide thirty warriors could have circled the base and still barely been able to touch fingertips. Primordial. Terrifying.
Ohlen had shown her the forests he had grown up in as a feral cub. Told her about his life in the wake of his family’s death. Alone until he’d been found by a warrior training in his territory. The male had taken him in, trained him and brought him up to become a warrior. Ohlen had humbly told her about how he’d risen through the ranks quickly. Been promoted time and again, until he had been handpicked by Tarek. Given the prestigious honor of serving aboard the First warship. Ohlen had told her what it had meant to him. What an honor it had been for him, clanless and without pedigree or status to elevate him to such heights. To be given such a place among the elite on his skill alone.
Not once in those late night conversations had anything been mentioned about a Breeding Festival. Not once while Ohlen held her in his lap among the holographic trees, or the holographic mountains, had he mentioned anything about a hunt.
How could he not have told her? Why hadn’t he told her?
Andi jolted when Cassie slammed her hand town on the table top. Andi’s pulse was racing so hard it was choking her. She listened as Cassie explained that Falken was at this time, unwilling to answer her demands to speak to him.
The ringing in her ears ebbed enough for her to hear Gwen try to contact Ga’rae, and get told to not bother herself. He was busy updating the medic from the other ship about human physiology. Gwen’s shrieking at him finally drew her out of her shaken stupor. Just in time to notice every one of the human crew looking expectantly her.
It took Andi a moment to realize what it was they were expecting.
Her fingers trembled while she touched the wrist unit Ohlen had given her the other day. Her delight and fascination with the piece of technology had made him smile so brightly. It had felt like tangible heat on her skin. Now, all she could feel was coldness.
“Ohlen?”
Her voice shook with weakness. Made her feel like all the progress she had made in the last few days to overcome her fear, had all been for nothing. Ohlen answered immediately, much to the other women’s displeasure.
“Yes, little one?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the hunt?”
There was a beat of silence from him. Andi could almost hear him frowning, but she couldn’t feel it like she might have only hours before.
“What hunt?”
She took a deep breath, forcing herself to speak her fears. Hoping that he wasn’t going to shoot her down and deny her his presence like the others had with their women.
Sick as it was, she was so scared she could barely think. If he told her it was a mistake, she would believe him. Believe him if he told her that there had been some kind of misunderstanding.
“The breeding festival.” Andi rasped hoarsely, “Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to leave me alone in a forest full of predators and hunt me like an animal?”
He didn’t even hesitate. Not one second passed before he responded.
“I am coming to you now.”
Gwen and Cassie scowled, but Cassie reached over and squeezed her hand with a huff.
“It’s the delicate tone of your voice. He can’t resist it.”
Andi managed a weak laugh, looking around at the crew still seated around her,
“I’ll get what I can,”
Cassie snorted and confidently told the entire table that by tomorrow morning, they’d have the full tale.
“I’m sorry.”
All eyes swung to Clary. Her posture so rigid it was clear she was fighting to stay upright.
“I understand if you no longer have confidence in me to lead our group. In all honesty, I think the lot of you were crazy to pick me. Not even a good two weeks in, and I’ve failed.”
Andi sat and watched the others deliberating. Watched the suspicion that was clear on the faces of the men, the anger, and distrust. The fear on the women’s. The betrayal Gwen tried to hide behind her anger. The hurt Cassie held close to her like an impenetrable shield to protect her secretly tender heart.
“These guys have an agenda,” Tara said. She was one of the other engineers Andi knew in passing from their time aboard the Aria. Andi liked her well enough. Had always been envious of her air of confidence. The strength that hadn’t attracted anything but respect.
“It’s not your fault they didn’t tell you what it is. The big guy in charge made it clear when Andi’s cat came for Ethan, we might have potential mates among their kind. Doesn’t mean we have to accept them. He was pretty clear on where they stand about harming women. Could be bullshit. And while I’m pissed that I agreed to this, I agreed. I for one am blaming no one but them for treating us like ignorant children. Cept for Andi’s cat. Seems to legitimately give a shit. I’m still down for letting you take the lead. You don’t bullshit us.”
The women shared Tara’s sentiment. Andi shared it too. Clary’s shoulders slumped a little. From relief or disappointment Andi wasn’t sure. The ache in her chest, the feeling of a huge weight crushing down on her breastbone, was making it difficult to breathe.
Ohlen suddenly came bursting into the common room. He looked at no one but her. Crossed the room in ground eating strides right to her an
d dropped to his knees at her side. His growl of displeasure brought goosebumps to her skin. He brushed away the tears she hadn’t realized were sliding down her cheeks. Only she, Clary, Cassie and Gwen understood what he said. No doubt the others got the conviction behind it from his tone. She certainly felt it vibrating through her body.
“I will never, leave you alone.”
Seven
Ohlen scooped her up from her chair. Held her tucked protectively under his arm as he guided her out. Andi clung to him, to the heat of him, because she worried the ice burrowing deeper inside her would make her bones shatter if she took one wrong step. The trip to their quarters seemed like it happened in the blink of an eye. She was so disoriented and off balance that she didn’t notice. Andi was shaking when he pushed her down onto the lounge. Freezing one minute, burning hot the next. She struggled to draw in a full breath, the weight on her chest getting heavier and heavier.
Ohlen knelt in front of her. His chest pressed to her knees while he rubbed his thumbs into the center of her palms. He frowned, looking at her as though he was trying to see into her heart. After a minute his chin jerked back like she’d punched him. His eyes pinned her to the seat,
“I can no longer sense the warmth of your presence. No longer feel you, here.” he pressed her hands to his chest,
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered.
“Of the festival?”
She nodded and his lips pressed into a tight line,
“It was not born of deception, my one. I vow it to you. I wished only to give us enough time to grow closer before I told you of something I thought would frighten you. To cause you to turn away from me.”
Andi wanted to believe him. A small part of her did, but her fear at having been blindsided with this was overwhelming.
“Explain it to me, now.”
There was more demand in her tone than she would have expected from herself. Ohlen seemed slightly surprised by it too, but he answered regardless.
“By our laws, for our mating to be recognized, we must find one another among the chaos of so many others.”
“That’s it? Just find one another?” that sounded far too easy.
Ohlen’s hands pressed hers harder to his chest. “It is difficult. The scents of the trees, of so many others, muddies the scent. Our beasts are drawn by the scent of our mates having hit their fertile time. As it only happens twice in our solar year, it is exceedingly rare that we come across them before or after the festival. To be lawfully recognized, we must locate our mate and return together. Bonded.”
“Bonded in what way?”
Andi plainly saw the uncertainty cross his features. Plainly saw his discomfort. She wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t called a Breeding Festival for no reason. She could guess what it meant, but she wanted to hear him say it.
“By the end of the festival, we must have bonded sexually.”
The heat that had washed over her faded back to insidious cold. Did a rapid flash between making her feel clammy with cold sweat and then burning hot. Her skin itched and crawled with how quickly panic swarmed through her. It was so intense that she had to force herself to get up. To move before she started clawing at her own flesh in an attempt to make that crawling sensation stop.
“Andi, I have no intention of bringing you to this season’s festival.”
Her panic gave way to an unbearable shame. To hear him tell her he didn’t want to take her to this festival? Didn’t want to bond with her? It was excruciatingly painful. Andi paced, clutching at her stomach as cramps of anxiety and embarrassment twisted through her.
It was completely irrational. The thought of being hunted through an unknown forest, surrounded by strangers, made her feel sick. That Ohlen didn’t want her bonded to him, made her feel desolate. Like he’d been lying to her when he’d told her that her past no longer was of concern. That it didn’t change how he felt about her.
“Andi, my one, please. I would never subject you to the festival knowing how much it would frighten you. I will wait a hundred festivals more if that’s how long it takes for you to grow to care for me. To trust me. Trust that I would not hurt you or force anything from you.”
The taste of blood filled her mouth. She must have bitten into her lip to hold back the burning pain in her chest. Her joints burned like someone was taking a blowtorch to them. Wrenching muscle and ligaments until she dropped to the floor with a scream. Writhing and kicking, shrieking in agony when Ohlen tried to touch her. She gasped for air as she panicked. Tasting blood and bile. Convulsing on the floor while he tried to hold her down. Tried to keep her from breaking into a million pieces.
“LOOK AT ME!”
His roar made her bounce and writhe. Surprise jolted her out of the fight she waged to make the pain stop. She sobbed, her sight blinded by tears. Ohlen was right there to wipe them away, holding her face in his big hands. He was steady, his eyes were steady. Beacons to hold her to the ground while the world was twisting and reshaping around her. Streams of red and yellow flashed across her vision. Made her wince with the brightness,
“Andi, my one, focus. Look at my face. Hear me. I need you to breathe,”
“Can’t,” she choked out. Clawing at her throat until he took her hands and made her stop.
“You can. You will. Do as I say. Breathe, Andi. Now.”
The demand for her obedience rang like a bell. A miraculous cue for her airway to open. Just enough to suck in a desperate gasp of air. Ohlen praised her, commanding that she take another breath. Then another until it didn’t feel like she was being suffocated. She could barely hear him for the roaring in her ears. The pounding beat of her heart, racing erratically, banging against her ribs hard enough to bruise.
“What…what’s happening to me?” she whimpered. Groaning when her spine bent back at an impossible angle,
“An unimaginable miracle, my one. I can smell my beast on your skin.”
“What?”
“You are changing, little one. Somehow you have taken part of my beast inside you. She is trying to come out now. I beg of you, please Andi. Do not fight this. Allow her to come and the pain will ease.”
“Ohlen, make it stop! Please make it stop!”
Eight
Andi shrieked and began to writhe again. Her pain so great it was impossible for him not to feel it. His eyes burned, helpless to do anything but hold her steady so she didn’t snap her own spine. She begged him to make it stop. Begged him. He would have given his life to spare her from such pain. But however this had happened, he knew there was no stopping it. If she fought it much harder, she would die. Right here on the floor of his quarters. In his arms. He forced himself to steady. To be calm as her emerging beast could likely smell his fear. That smell would only make her beast fight that much harder.
“Listen to my voice, Andi.”
She choked out a sob, twisting, fighting to get free of his hold on her. It devastated him that he was forced to pin her to the floor. Even to help her, he hated it. There was no alternative. He was not willing to risk her death.
“You have taken part of me inside you. Part of my beast. You feel claws raking at your insides. Fur where there ought not to be fur. You hear roaring in your ears. You fight that thing inside you because you are brave. Because you are strong. Because you are afraid. I vow it to you on my soul, on our bond, you have no reason to fear.”
Andi keened. A ragged sound of pain that sliced him deeper than any blade ever could have done.
“Hurts,” she sobbed.
Her mouth was stained with blood from where four delicate little fangs had pushed through her gums. Shredded her soft lips.
“I know, I know it does. I remember your pain. I remember your fear. I promise you, it will end. I will not leave you until it does. I’m here, I’m right here, I will never leave you alone.”
Ohlen watched in horrified fascination as her dark eyes brightened. Shimmered as her beast rolled close to the surface, pulling her pupils up into vertical
slits.
She was doing it.
She was going to change.
It took all his control, all his ability to stay steady. To not let his emotion fill his voice or alter his scent. To not allow his fears to influence her beast as it struggled to come forward.
“Listen to my voice. Breathe. Feel her moving inside you. She fights and claws inside you because you fight back. She needs out, little one. Let her go. Let her come and the pain will stop.”
Ohlen had never in his life felt such honor.
The moment Tarek had commanded him to take his place among the warriors aboard the First Warship? Didn’t even come close to this. To this moment where he saw the trust Andi had come to feel towards him, shine in her changing eyes. He scrambled past the emotion choking him to describe the sensations he remembered from his first change to her. Told her what he had felt. What she might feel. How the change would happen,
“When it is over, I will carry you down to medical and Ga’rae will give you something to ease the soreness. Your body will hurt. Your muscles sore from having been forced to accommodate your new shape. We will rest together when it is over. I will be right here to guide you into changing back to your small self. Everything will be alright. Let her go, Andi, give her to me.”
He saw, scented, the wave of calm that swept through her. The pinched lines of pain around her eyes softened as she relaxed into the change. He let her move. Let her roll to her hands and knees. Breathless as he watched her spine round. Heard the bones popping and shifting into place while she moaned as though relieved. He fell back on his ass in total shock to see the crystal color of her claws that shot from her fingertips. Dug into the floor, slicing through the indestructible metal, clawing furrows into it as though it were loose earth.
It was over faster than he had thought possible. The result was not the half form of their females he had expected. She had shifted completely into a sleek black beast. A beast with a fluffy black tail and barely detectable spots dotting her unbelievably soft pelt. Andi lay on her side, her whiskers pulsing as she panted from the exertion. Muscles twitching as her body adapted to its new shape.
Sarazen's Vengeance: Book 1.1 Page 5
