Still Sucks to Be Me: More All-True Confessions of Mina Hamilton, Teen Vampire

by Kimberly Pauley

  “Goodness, Grady.” That’s all I can think of to say. I spit out a petal that had attached itself to my lip.

  “So, I’ve been wondering, Mina. Homecoming is coming up real soon. What do you say?”

  I sigh. “Grady, I’ve told you before—I have a boyfriend.” I was hoping we were past this.

  “Well, yeah, but he’s not here, is he?”

  He’s not even e-mailing me, but I haven’t told Grady that. “No, but—”

  “You know what they say: absence makes the heart wander.” He gives me his sly grin that I know he thinks is irresistible. And it is … to all the other girls in school. I see Henny practically melting out of the corner of my eye.

  “I don’t think that’s how the saying goes.” I bend over to pick up some of the flowers. This is totally going to make me late for class. Couldn’t he have waited until the end of the day for his little stunt?

  “Just think about it,” he says, like he hasn’t heard a word I’ve said. Then he actually leans over, takes my hand and kisses it before he walks off.

  Oh.

  Holy.

  Moly.

  Did he really just do that?

  “I can’t believe Grady just asked you to homecoming!” pants Henny. “That was the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen! What’re you going to wear?” She squats down and starts picking up flowers, looking at each one as she picks it up like she’s never seen a flower before.

  “I’m not going. Like I told Grady, I have a boyfriend.” Gah. Why can’t George just write me or call me or something? As sweet as Grady can be sometimes, he’s just not my type. And I don’t mean that in a blood-type sense either.

  “Maybe you’re just going to Homecoming with someone else,” interrupts Kacie in her best nasty snotty tone. She steps right on the flower I was about to pick up and twists her heel into it, grinding it to a pulp. Drat. I hadn’t heard her coming. I almost let my eyelashes slip, but manage to hang on to them.

  “Like I was telling Henny and Grady, I’ve got a boyfriend.” Yet another T-shirt I should get.

  “Maybe you should tell that to Cameron Carter,” she says. “I saw you both come out of the library. It’s nice and quiet in there at lunch, isn’t it?”

  Like she would know. I bet she doesn’t even read. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I was finishing up some homework,” I say. “Cameron was too.”

  “Ri-i-ght.” She sails on by, proclamation over. Oh man, Cameron has got to teach me his Jedi mind tricks. This girl has so got it coming.

  I play the good daughter and tell Mom that I’m going to meet up with Cameron to practice vampire stuff. She gives me a knowing look (ha, like she knows, but I really am going to go work on vampire skills—just not the ones from class) but doesn’t bother telling me when to be home. When you don’t sleep and are essentially (in an Animal Planet kind of way) the top predator around, curfews don’t mean much anymore. And I am a senior now. Though it probably also helps that she got to meet Cameron in the shape-shifting class and see for herself that he’s a nice guy.

  The playground is actually a great place. I’ve run through here a bunch of times at night. It’s quiet—except for the cicadas (which can be incredibly noisy for bugs)—and off to the side of town, so there aren’t many houses around. Never any people either, unlike the high school. I ran through there a couple of times and almost stumbled right into some couples making out.

  I sit on the swing while I’m waiting. I hope he doesn’t think I’m completely lame for checking in with my parents before coming. I called and left him a message that I was going to be here, but he didn’t call back. Maybe he won’t show up after all.

  It’s really peaceful tonight. There’s a light breeze blowing my hair around (which, happily, behaved really well tonight without any intervention). I decide to shift into longer eyelashes and darken up my lips a little too. The whole insta-makeup applications of shape-shifting are pretty cool. I wonder if Cameron will notice? Maybe it’s too much? I’m about to wipe the lip color when he comes up behind me and gives me a light push then steps around to the front.

  “Nice night,” he says.

  Yay! He did come. My heart starts beating really fast.

  “Yeah, and the moon is out too.” It is actually really pretty out, for once. When we first moved here, the weather was just torture. People say California is hot, but it’s nothing like the hot, sticky weather in Louisiana. Since September hit, it has finally started to cool down a little and now that we’re getting into the last part of the month, it’s almost bearable. Even vampires have a limit on how much humidity they can take.

  “Good thing the moon is out, since we’ll need some light,” Cameron says. He takes a black backpack off and holds it up at me. “I brought a candle too, but I didn’t want to get anything brighter so we wouldn’t draw any attention.”

  I get off the swing and follow him over to a picnic table where he unpacks the candle, some matches, some glasses, and a couple of bottles.

  “What’s in the bottles?” I sure hope it isn’t any booze. I didn’t drink before and now the stuff really smells rank to me. Besides, it is pretty pointless to drink once you’re a vampire anyway. Someone should break the news to Roy and Lowell.

  “A bottle of really nice A positive Lowell had stashed away and some Special K. I thought we could use some refreshment while we work. Mind control takes about as much effort as shape-shifting. Maybe more.”

  Oh, good. I can’t believe he brought the pig’s blood just for me. Though I hope he didn’t sneak it out. Lowell didn’t strike me as the kind of guy you’d want to tick off. I’ve heard some horror stories about his shop class. Not, like, how hard the class is, but more like you don’t want to mess with his stuff.

  We sit on top of the table and Cameron pours us a couple of glasses and lights the candle. It actually looks really romantic, under the moon and everything, all the cicadas chirping (or whatever it is you call it that they do) in the background. It really makes me think of George. I wonder if he’s thinking of me at all? It sure doesn’t seem like it. I’ve sent over thirty e-mails now, which is kind of pathetic.

  “So,” I say. “Where do we start? What’s the trick?”

  “All business, huh? Okay, the first thing to do is clear your mind as much as possible. Kind of like how we did with the shape-shifting, but a little deeper. You know how there’s your conscious mind and your subconscious? Your goal is to open your conscious mind up to another person’s.”

  “I’m supposed to open my mind up? Isn’t that kind of the opposite of what I’m trying to do?”

  He smiles, his teeth all shiny and perfect in the candlelight. “You didn’t let me finish. It does sound like the opposite, but the trick is that you’ll be using your mind to control theirs. Mind control is really a two-way street. So you want to clear your mind of everything but what it is you want the other person to see, think, and feel. Push everything else down.”

  Hm. Sounds a little new agey to me, but I’ll give it a shot.

  “Controlling humans is fairly easy, since the advantage is on your side. Controlling a fellow vampire is much more difficult.”

  Well, that broke my concentration. “So how am I supposed to practice on you?”

  “Pick something really simple. That’s the best way to start anyway. You need to keep eye contact with me the whole time, the closer the better to start off with. Like I said before, Lowell can do it from across a room, but I work better close up. Why don’t you scoot closer?”

  I move over until I’m feeling a little uncomfortably close. Cameron’s whole spicy smell is nearly overpowering at close range.

  Then I remember that I don’t technically have to breathe and I stop in midbreath. Now I just have to deal with the lingering smell, but I can get past that. I hope. I stare deep into his eyes and concentrate on clearing my mind of everything. Ivetta’s breathing exercises would actually be a big help here, but too bad for that. Cameron stares back at me and
I see the candle flame reflected in his eyes. Wow, it would be easy to just lose myself in the blue.

  Okay, having some trouble concentrating here. I close my eyes for a minute to gather myself and then start over. I’m starting to think this would be easier to do on anyone other than Cameron.

  “Take a drink,” I say slowly, but deliberately, with the last bit of breath I have in my lungs.

  His hand wavers for a moment toward his glass and then he just starts laughing like crazy. “Sorry,” he gets out between fits. “You just look so deadly serious.”

  I can’t help it. I start laughing too, which means I have to breathe again. I slide back a little to give myself some room.

  “I guess I’m not very persuasive, huh?”

  “No, you did fine for a first time. I did feel it. You just need practice. Come on, we’ve got all night anyway.”

  We practice until about four in the morning. I manage to

  a) hardly breathe at all the entire night, which is no easy feat (breathing is really an automatic kind of thing, I don’t care how undead you are),

  b) finally get Cameron to drink from his glass, and

  c) almost but not quite get used to the feeling of staring deep into his eyes from mere inches away.

  19

  I’m getting really worried about Serena. It’s been almost an entire week since I’ve heard from her. The last text I got from her just said “ARRGGGHHH” and that was it (which isn’t totally unusual, but usually that kind of stuff is followed up by a lengthy explanation of the evil that is Alexis or the latest exploits in Divorce Land). Did Raven do something creepier than leave dead bird stuff on her car?

  I’m only able to hold my shape-shifting disguise for like thirty minutes now, but maybe I should just risk it and hop a bus to California to check on her. I have been saving my allowance. It’s not like there’s anything worth spending it on around here anyway.

  I even e-mailed Lorelai to ask if she’d seen Serena since my funeral, but I couldn’t be specific about why since I can’t tell her Serena knows about us. If Linda (who is the only person who always responds to my messages) wasn’t a gung ho recruitee of the Vampire Goon Squad, I’d e-mail her and ask her to check on Serena. She did say she hadn’t seen Raven since class, but that didn’t help much.

  I’m wishing I could talk to Mom about it, since I know she’d be concerned too (she loves Serena like another daughter … ha, probably like the good daughter she never had), but she can’t know about Serena knowing about us. I never even told George after Serena talked me out of it.

  Secrets suck.

  Cartville sucks.

  If I didn’t know better, I’d think Kacie was a vampire too, since she’s got some kind of sixth sense or blooper radar where she’s always around whenever

  a) I do anything remotely embarrassing (like the accidental water-fountain shower I gave myself yesterday), or

  b) Cameron is talking to me (her knowing looks and oh-so-snotty comments are driving me nuts). Not like I’m even doing anything with Cameron besides practicing the whole Jedi mind-control stuff. (I’m slowly progressing with that … though I have to wonder if it’d be easier if I weren’t so worried about him being able to see into my mind.) As I keep reminding Grady, I have a boyfriend.

  Or do I? At what point do I just give it up? I’m now officially up to over fifty e-mails, a bazillion texts, and probably thirty voice mails. Either he’s dead-dead (which isn’t very likely, considering) or he just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I just never would have thought George would be this way. Mom has stopped asking me about him, which I guess is good, since I was having trouble thinking up any way to put a positive spin on it. I hate it when she’s right.

  I’m sending Serena the umpteenth e-mail of the day when I hear a car coming up the road that sounds exactly like the Death Beetle. Sigh. I’ve even got her on the brain. It putters to a stop in front of our house, which is even weirder, so I get up to go see who it could be (or if I’m just totally losing my mind and nobody is there at all, which is probably about where my brain is these days: total mush).

  I peek out the window and it even looks just like the Death Beetle. So I am losing my mind. Then I see Serena coming up the walk and I literally shriek like a banshee.

  Mom calls out, “Who’s here? What’s going on?” but I don’t bother answering because I’m already out the door and spinning Serena around in circles.

  I’m babbling something along the lines of “OhmygodwhatareyoudoingherewherehaveyoubeenI’vebeentextingyouallweek” and we’re both laughing and crying when Mom comes out the door and lets out a shriek of her own.

  Oops. Busted.

  She hauls us both in the house and slams the door so hard I think it cracks. She pulls the curtains and then sits us both down on the couch.

  “Just what is going on here?” she demands.

  Happy is definitely not her middle name right now. Not even remotely.

  “It’s my fault, Mrs. H,” says Serena. “I know I shouldn’t have come, I know it. But I just couldn’t take it anymore at home. It’s just been awful.” And then she bursts into tears. I put an arm around her and Mom sits down on her other side and does the same. She looks at me over Serena’s head while she pats her on the shoulder.

  “How did you know we were here? And, ahem, alive, for that matter?” She’s totally giving me the eye.

  “It’s okay.” Serena hiccups. “I know all about the vampire thing. But I haven’t told anybody. I didn’t even tell anyone where I was going or who I was going to visit. Nobody knows I’m here at all.”

  Yikes. If Mom’s eyes were machine guns, I’d have about a billion bullet holes in me right now.

  “Her parents are getting a divorce,” I tell Mom. “Her dad moved out. He’s living in a hotel. Alexis is, like, running the house.”

  “Mina, how long has Serena known?”

  Trust Mom to get right to the point. “Um, just since right before I turned. Not the whole time or anything.”

  “Do you have any idea at all how much trouble we’ll all be in if The Council finds out Serena knows about us? I’ve got to call your Dad. I don’t know what to do. This is bad, Mina, really, really bad.”

  “But I want to turn too. Won’t that help? They can’t be mad then, right?”

  “What?” Mom and I say in unison. We both look at Serena in total shock.

  “I thought about it the whole way here. It took me a week to make the drive.” She hugs me. “I’m sorry I didn’t call, Mina, but my phone died and I forgot my charger.” She turns back to Mom. “The whole time I was driving, I just kept thinking I’ve got nothing back home. And if I turn, Mina and I could travel the world together forever. Or I could be like one of those vampire scientists she was telling me about. Or go to one of the vampire colleges.”

  “But what about Nathan?” I know she was saying he was too perfect, but I’m still shocked.

  Serena shrugs and looks down. “He’ll be fine. You guys are more my family than my family is. You always have been. Now that Dad’s gone, you’re all I have left.”

  “Honey,” Mom says, “just because your parents are getting a divorce doesn’t mean your mom and dad love you any less. That’s no reason to make a decision this big.”

  “I told Mom I wanted to live with Dad and she told me I could live in a cardboard box for all she cared. And now Dad’s dating some girl he just met. She’s only five years older than me!” Whoa, that’s news. I’m not all that surprised about her mom (she’s always been on the evil side), but I am kinda surprised about her dad. He’s always been pretty nice. I bet that was the final straw.

  “Still,” says Mom, “it’s a really big decision. It’s not something you can take back, Serena. I’m sure Mina told you”—here Mom stops to glare at me again—“that she had to think long and hard about it before she decided.”

  “I did think long and hard about it. I thought about it the whole way here. It’s what I want.”

 
; Wow, she sounds so sure. I wasn’t that sure at all, not until the end right before I turned. And it wasn’t like I was leaving behind my family—I was joining them. She always has been more decisive than me, though.

  Mom sits back and rubs her head. “I’ve got to call Bob. You girls just stay here for a minute, okay? Stay inside.”

  Not like we were going to go anywhere anyway. We have a lot of catching up to do.

  20

  Mom comes rushing back after a few minutes. I’d been so preoccupied with Serena that I hadn’t even tried to listen in on my parents’ conversation, which is probably just as well since there were likely a few choice words in reference to me. Which is exactly why I hate secrets. They always come back to bite you somehow. At least now I didn’t really have any to speak of. The Serena one was my big one (and it has totally been burning a hole in me, so I’m honestly kind of glad it’s out).

  “Okay,” says Mom. “We’re going to New Orleans. Pack an overnight bag. Serena, we need to move your car into the garage. We’ll take ours. We’re going to pick up Bob on the way.”

  “New Orleans? Why?” Are we on the run or something? Seriously?

  “That’s where the Southeast Regional Vampire Council is headquartered. We talked it over and we think it best that we go to The Council immediately. Now, Serena, I ask you again: are you positive this is something you want to do? Once we get there, there’s no turning back. You’ll be enrolled in classes and you will have a choice, but I’m sure Mina has explained to you what happens if you decide not to turn at the end.”

  “Yes,” says Serena, nodding her head emphatically. “I’m absolutely sure. I’m done with my family dramarama. I want to turn.”

  Oh, whoa! It hits me. We really will be together forever now. Like forever-forever. I let out a little squee and try not to completely crush her in a hug.

  Mom doesn’t look very happy. “I don’t like this at all, but I don’t know what else to do. So let’s get moving, girls.”