Still Sucks to Be Me: More All-True Confessions of Mina Hamilton, Teen Vampire

by Kimberly Pauley

  At least my home life is finally good again. I’m talking to everyone again and Dad did actually kind of apologize for dragging us to Cartville (in between telling me about Dr. Musty’s revolutionary filing system and how he’s perfecting his lock-picking skills under Dr. Musty’s tutelage). We’ve settled into a routine at home. It’s really like Serena’s my sister now. And the VRA has finally, finally released some of our stuff. The first boxes were mostly Dad’s books (bummer) and Mom’s good kitchen stuff (yay), but the Josh-erator did call and say that we could expect our clothes by the end of the week. Good thing. I’m so sick of my not-so-new-anymore red shirt that I’ve actually been debating about wearing some of Serena’s vintage eighties stuff. Almost.

  The shape-shifting classes are going awesome too. (For me, anyway. Mom’s still working on holding more than one change at a time.) Ivetta even let me bring Serena to a class as one of her official field trips so she could see something of the cool side of vampire life. Well, except for Reva and Reba, who are still annoying as anything. Cameron is getting pretty good though. He can do, like, three different actors, but honestly, he looks better as himself.

  Mom is officially sponsoring Serena and they’re out on another little vampire field trip visiting Dad and Dr. Musty so she can get a close up look at just how interesting (boring) vampire jobs can be as opposed to regular jobs. That leaves me at home alone on a Friday night. Sad, that’s what that is.

  I figure I might as well e-mail George again. So I open up my laptop and pull up Google mail. Serena must have logged in earlier today because she’s still logged in. And her inbox is completely full up with a bazillion messages from Nathan. A good handful from her dad too, but a ton from Nathan. I mean a TON. In the last two weeks. He must be e-mailing her like practically every hour. Judging from the time stamps, he’s not even taking a lot of time off for sleep.

  I don’t even need to read the e-mails to get what they’re about. You can tell just from the subject lines. It starts off pretty easy …

  Nate» Dinner tonight?

  Nate» Got reserv @ ur fav!

  Nate» Hey S, pick up the phone!

  Nate» Where R U???

  Those must have been from the day Serena took off. Then by a few days later, it’s a lot more frantic. And sad. But also romantic, I guess.

  Nate» WHERE ARE YOU?

  Nate» worried, call me!!!!

  Nate» PLS CALL

  Nate» pls be ok, pls call

  Nate» S, love u. PLS please CALL today

  Finally, he must have talked to her dad again after I got Serena to call him. Maybe I should have tried to put a suggestion in there to call Nathan too.

  Nate» I talked to ur Dad CALL ME

  Nate» y haven’t u called me?

  Nate» don’t care whr u r, just CALL

  Nate» Serena I love you why won’t u call??????

  Oh, man. He’s got it bad. He actually said the L word. More than once. Mom has always told me that teenage boys are pretty much allergic to that word, no matter what all those sappy teenage dramedy movies say. George and I hadn’t used the L word before he left, and now it seems pretty obvious that there wasn’t any L there on his side, otherwise he’d have at least texted me by now. I hope Nathan doesn’t feel as crappy as I’ve been feeling about George not e-mailing me back. Though I never threw in the L word. I guess I’m kind of glad I didn’t. I mean, okay, if I’m honest, I really did think I was heading that way with George. But how pathetic is it to say it when the other person won’t even answer you back?

  I can’t believe Serena hasn’t e-mailed Nathan back yet. But then, what’s she going to say? “Oh, sorry, I decided I want to live forever and be a bloodsucking freak. Don’t really have time for a relationship with some dinky human. Ta-ta!” Maybe it’s better if she doesn’t respond to him. But still. It’s Nathan.

  I had a crush on Nathan for years. And after getting to know him better beyond the whole ohmigod-he’s-so-hot thing, he’s even better than the packaging, though I did figure out we don’t exactly have the same sense of humor. If I were Serena, I don’t know if I could totally turn my back on him.

  She must be thinking about him though. You can tell she’s read every single last one of the e-mails that he sent. She’s only read a couple of the ones that her dad sent her. Her mom didn’t even send one, the old cow. She probably doesn’t even know what Serena’s e-mail address is.

  I wonder if the whole mind-control thing works for asking people questions and getting the truth out of them? Not that I would do that to Serena, though I do want to know what’s really going on with Nathan. Being too perfect is so not a reason to cast off a boy. And hey, he is perfect. But she knew that going in.

  I think about sending George one more e-mail, but decide against it. What’s the use? I’m over seventy-five e-mails now with no response. At this point, I just feel like a pathetic loser. Maybe I should take Mom’s advice (though how did she know George was gonna ditch me like that?) and keep my options open. But Grady’s not the one I want to talk to.

  I try Cameron on his cell, but it just goes straight to voice mail. I wonder if he’s at Ernie’s? He says he hangs there a lot since it’s

  a) the only place around you can be with a bunch of other vampires,

  b) you can (obviously) get away from all the Cartville drama there (well, the non-vampire drama … it’s not like humans have a lock on the dramarama thing), and

  c) it’s kind of cool in a really earthy hidden bunker kind of way.

  Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll be there. I could use a friendly face about now and it doesn’t hurt that his is attached to a mighty fine, very manly-man smelling body with a decent sense of humor.

  I don’t see Cameron’s car in the parking lot up top, but figure I might as well get a glass of something while I’m here, so I head down the tunnel anyway. Hopefully Roy and Lowell are off annoying women somewhere else today.

  I haven’t even completely shut the tunnel door at Ernie’s behind me when a voice that I’d recognize anywhere (and had seriously hoped to never ever hear again) hisses “Mina!” with such venom you’d think I was a puppy killer or something.

  I turn around and there she is.

  Raven.

  What is she doing here? I can’t believe it’s her.

  My least favorite vampire wannabe. And she’s definitely still a wannabe. I can tell from across the room that she hasn’t turned. So what’s she doing here? In a blood bar? Why didn’t the vampire police wipe her little brain? Or was there so little there that they couldn’t do anything?

  “Raven.” I try not to sound remotely concerned. I could’ve kicked her butt before I was a vampire. There’d be completely no contest now. I’m just glad I don’t have Serena with me. I’d been thinking about taking her by Ernie’s as part of her education.

  She marches right up to me and sticks her finger in my face. Okay, did she not get before how annoying that is? There’s no Grandma Wolfington here to break it up either. I suppose I’d better just be careful not to, you know, break it off. That would be rude. Since I’ve got the whole super-everything advantage now (not that I need it) and she’s still a super zero.

  “I should have known you were in town!” She’s practically got spittle flying from her black lipsticked lips, she’s so worked up. She had so-o-o-o better not get any of that on me. That’s just gross. “I was wondering why that stupid girl came here, but it all makes sense now!”

  She must be talking about Serena! I was right. Raven has been up to something. I decide to play stupid and see what she’ll spill. “What are you talking about?” I demand.

  That’s when I see her put two and two together and actually come up with four, maybe for the first time ever. Her eyes light up. “You’re supposed to be dead! Like, VRA dead! I saw her at your funeral. But she’s here, so that means that she knows. You told a human!”

  “So?” I ask. “What do you think you are?” Though arguably, she’s only human in th
e technical sense. As far as humanity goes, she’s pretty lacking. “And didn’t The Council turn your skinny butt down and wipe your little mind?”

  She draws herself up as tall as she can, which still puts her at about the level of my nose. “They wanted to and it’s all your fault. But the Talons saved me. They broke me out and protected me. I’m going to be one of them and you can’t stop me.”

  So the little Goth girl did actually know some Black Talons. Amazing. It wasn’t all hot air after all. I’m not the only one shocked either. I hear a couple of gasps from around the bar and I see Ernie grab his cell phone to call someone. I guess they’re like the Evildoers-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Not that Raven is any kind of Harry Potter. She’s not even Draco Malfoy.

  “How’s that work exactly? Since you’re looking awfully vampire wannabe to me still.” That, of course, makes her go even more ballistic and I can see that she’s turning beet red underneath all that white makeup of hers, which makes her look even more deranged than normal.

  What’s black and white and red all over? Angry Goth girl.

  “You obviously don’t know anything,” Raven says. “The Black Talons don’t just take anybody, like The Councils will.” She sniffs pointedly at me and I’m about to point out that, hello, they didn’t take her, when she keeps going. “I was going to drop out of class anyway once the Talons tapped me. You were going to be my initiation.”

  “You need to get over here right now,” Ernie tells whoever it is he called.

  “I was going to be your initiation?” I try to keep my voice calm, like I’m talking a suicidal person off a ledge. “What does that mean, exactly?”

  She starts jumping up and down like she can’t contain herself anymore. It’s like some kind of scary, weird marionette.

  “It means you ruined my life! Everything! I don’t know what you did to Aubrey, but he decided not to turn and they wiped his memory before I could get to him. He doesn’t even remember me now! Doesn’t. Even. Remember. ME!”

  I can’t help it. I back up just a tiny bit. She’s having a total insane fit. Is she really this worked up over some hot guy? I mean, I know she gave me a bunch of grief over him while we were all in class together, but please. Ernie hangs up the phone, but then stands there like he’s not sure what to do either. Nobody in the rest of the place even moves. I don’t think anyone wants to touch her. I know I don’t.

  Raven keeps on talking. “Don’t you get it? The Talons only let you in after you’ve proven yourself by killing a human. Unfortunately, by the time they tapped me, it was too late to do anything to you, since you’d already turned. But then I remembered how you were always talking about that stupid best friend of yours. So I found her.” She smiles an evil cat-ate-the-canary smile.

  Say what? She wanted to kill me? And since she couldn’t do it, she followed Serena halfway across the country to try and kill her?

  I don’t think so! This is one Goth girl who’s going down!

  I reach out to grab her but someone steps in between us and my hand just meets a solid, muscular, very male chest instead. Cameron. When did he get here?

  “Thanks, Ernie,” says Cameron.

  What?

  “I figured I’d better call,” says Ernie. “You got here fast.”

  Cameron just nods. Why did Ernie call Cameron?

  “Out of the way, pretty boy,” hisses Raven, batting Cameron’s hand out of her face. “I’m in the middle of something here.”

  “No, you’re not,” he says firmly to Raven. He nods at Ernie, who jumps over the bar, grabs her by the collar, and hustles her away to the back room, still shrieking. I go to follow, but Cameron holds me back.

  “Mina, I think you should leave.”

  He thinks I should leave? Excuse me?

  “Raven wants to kill Serena! She wanted to kill me!”

  He doesn’t know me very well yet, that’s for sure, if he thinks I’m going to back down over this. I’ve been wanting to kick her into next week since I met her and I’ve got more than enough reason now. I don’t care if I do break her finger off or how big an advantage I’ve got now. Girl is going down.

  “I understand that. But now is not the time or the place.” He pointedly looks around the room where everyone in the bar is watching our little melodrama like they are glued to some reality TV show.

  He pulls me over to the front door and opens it. “I’ll talk to you later,” he says, pushing me through and then shutting it behind me. I hear the unmistakable sound of a lock.

  Un-frickin’-believable.

  He did not just do that. Who does he think he is? I don’t know why I even came here to try and talk to him. George would never have done that to me. He’d have at least held Raven down while I got the rest of the story. Or something. Not just slammed a door in my face like I can’t take care of myself or my friends.

  Raven might be safe for now, but she’s got a world of hurt coming. And hello, has she never seen a horror movie or read a book? It’s just stupid to tell someone your evil plot. But I guess she’s just like the supervillains in all the comic books—can’t resist the monologue. Well, I’ll be more than happy to foil her evil plans.

  No matter what Cameron has to say about it.

  28

  I run home, just barely catching myself from running too fast in front of Eugenie. I slow it down and give her a wave that I hope looks more friendly than frantic and go in the house.

  Then I stop.

  No one is due home for a couple of hours. Craptastic. What do I do now? I’ve got to warn them and make sure Mom and Dad protect Serena on the way home if Raven gets out of Ernie’s.

  I leave a voice mail on Mom’s cell phone to call me as soon as she gets the message. Then I call Dad’s and do the same. I’d call Serena except (a) we still haven’t bought her a new phone charger (geez, wonder how many messages from Nathan she has?) and (b) she’s with Mom anyway.

  Though I guess Raven’s probably still with Cameron right now. Did he know her already? He didn’t look totally surprised to see her. And why did Ernie call him?

  I pick up my phone again and then put it down. Then pick it up. I call Cameron and get his voice mail. I skip the message. I’m sure he knows I’m going to want to talk to him. And I don’t even know what I want to say to him. Nothing good. I just don’t get it. I really thought he was my friend. Maybe even more than a friend.

  So I guess I have to wait until Mom and Serena get home. To do what exactly I don’t know. But something. GAH. I hate this. I’m a doer, not a twiddle-my-thumbs-er.

  Maybe I should call Uncle Mortie? Would it do any good to notify The Council? The Southeast Regional Vampire Council doesn’t seem that bad, compared to the one in the Northwest. And Raven was already on the wrong side of The Council back home. But they obviously flubbed up big time if they let her get away.

  I still can’t believe she wants to kill Serena! Or wanted to kill me, for that matter. Aren’t vampires supposed to be the bloodthirsty ones? I don’t want to kill anyone. Well, except maybe Raven. But she’s totally got it coming. I can’t believe she’s this upset because Aubrey can’t remember who she is. I mean, sure, he’s hotter than hot, but he’s just a guy. And not all that great, really. Definitely not worth killing over. I don’t think he was all that into her even when he knew who she was. She just wanted him to be. And killing over a guy? That’s just dumb.

  I’m about to call Uncle Mortie for lack of anything else constructive to do when the doorbell rings. Yeesh, I was so distracted I didn’t even hear somebody coming up the walk. It must be Cameron. Well, he better have some good explanations up his sleeve. And I mean mighty good.

  I yank open the door only to be immediately swept off my feet and twirled around and around and around.

  What the—? Is Cameron insane? I feel like killing him, not cuddling with him.

  I’m about to push off and maybe take a punch or two when I hear a familiar laugh. Like a 9.8 on the George scale.

  “Mina! I ho
ped you’d be the one to answer the door. It’d be embarrassing if it had been your dad. Not that I don’t like him and all.”

  “George!”

  He stops twirling and sets me down, and I stare at him like an idiot. For a second. Then I grab him up and twirl, before I realize I’m mad at him and drop him. He stumbles and regains his footing to give me a cockeyed smile.

  I glare at him. “Where have you been?”

  “Brazil.”

  “I know that. I mean why haven’t you called me or texted me or e-mailed me or anything?” It hits me in the chest all of a sudden and I feel like I’m going to cry. Which is so not me. I sniff once loudly and then step back. He’s got some serious explaining to do.

  “My parents live in the total boonies.”

  “The boonies?” We live in the boonies and I managed to contact him.

  “Yep. I’m talking no electricity. Nothing. They’re doing this indigenous people study out in the middle of the Amazon. I’ve spent the last couple of months wearing a loincloth.”

  “You are kidding me.” Is this one of his jokes? Because I am so not in the mood for jokes right now.

  He laughs but then gets serious. “Okay, I only wore a loincloth once. For like an hour. It kind of itched and it was really drafty. But I’m serious about the electricity. And no cell towers either. Totally cut off from civilization. I didn’t get any of your many, many messages until I went into Eirunepé for some supplies. Then I figured I’d better just come see you in person to tell you that I’m not mad at you and I don’t hate you and yes, I had a good reason for not e-mailing or texting or calling you back. Seriously, Mina, do you have carpal tunnel now?”

  “No, goof.” I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Or both. I may just explode. “Oh my God, I’ve got so much to tell you!”

  “Should I finish reading your messages to find out about it, or do you want to tell me in person?”

  Oh. Actually, I’d really rather he didn’t ever finish reading my messages. I’ll have to see if I can delete them or something. I debate telling him about the Serena situation, but Raven can’t possibly do anything evil in the next ten minutes. Serena is safe with Mom and Dad and Dr. Musty.