Long Way Home

by HelenKay Dimon

  He scrunched up his nose. “Kind of, yeah.”

  She loved this side of him. The lighter, guarded-but-still-willing-to-banter side. Maybe that’s why she roamed back into heartache territory without any thought of self-protection. “Look, I know I messed up.”

  He didn’t look at her as he waved her off. “Forget I said anything.”

  She grabbed his hand and forced eye contact. “You don’t get to do that.”

  “Excuse me?”

  She flattened his hand against her chest and covered it with hers. A wave of relief crashed through her when he didn’t pull away. “You want to have it out, fine. Let’s do that, but in private—and you can’t walk away when it gets rough.”

  “I’m not a runner.”

  He’d been sprinting since she met him. “That is exactly what you are. Things get tough and you bolt.”

  His hand slipped across her collarbone then away from her. “You don’t know me.”

  “Oh, I do.” Knew and accepted. She’d never wanted to change him into a different man; just maybe a slightly nicer one. “I know you and still love you even as I have to beat back the urge to smack you half the time.”

  “That last part’s particularly charming.”

  “Maybe one of these times when I tell you I love you, you’ll respond.” The lukewarm reaction started an ache in her chest that wound down to her belly. “Oh, but that’s right—you don’t believe me.”

  Instead of launching into a list of her faults, he shook his head. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

  The draw to his voice and the exhaustion that suddenly seemed to pull at him had to mean something. Maybe she was just hopeful or slow to pick up clues but she needed to break down the wall he kept erecting between them. “Believe this.”

  She took one step and went straight into his arms. He didn’t push her away or hold back. Her body touched his and his arms wrapped around her. Then her mouth closed over his and the world started to spin. She felt light and free, hot and itching to get him alone.

  Their lips touched and all the sounds and sights around her blurred. She could hear talking and a car horn, but they could have come from anywhere. She knew somewhere Walker watched. None of that mattered. The only thing that meant anything was the heat pulsing off the man holding her and the feel of his hands as they skimmed up and down her back.

  The kiss pushed on. She kissed him with all the pent-up desire that had been building since she arrived in town. Kissed him for the time lost and the ache that never went away. She kissed him until she lost her breath and had to break away to jumpstart her brain to get it working again.

  Her forehead rested against his cheek as she struggled to regain her breathing. Her heartbeat hammered in her chest and something kept flipping around in her stomach.

  “I thought you didn’t want to put on a show.” Callen’s low voice rumbled against her ear.

  “That’s you. I am happy to go at it right here.” She pulled back and stared up into those green eyes filled with amusement. “Okay, now it’s my turn to rephrase.”

  “I’m fine with the wrong interpretation.” He wiped a hand over his chin as he nodded to a man walking by.

  She recognized the guy from Schneider’s Grocery but refused to be embarrassed. “I’m tired of trying to explain and seeing only your retreating back.”

  Callen’s grip loosened and he pulled back. “Fine.”

  From her experience, fine usually stood for whatever or no. Something other than what she wanted here. “Clue me in. What do you mean?”

  “I’ll come to your room later.”

  She turned the words over in her head, looking for hidden meanings, but couldn’t find one. “Later?”

  “I have work I have to do first.”

  He worked for himself and owned the place he was fixing up. She couldn’t imagine how any of that could be more important than settling the mess between them. Unless this was another stall tactic, and she feared it might be. “On your personal life, or at the house?”

  “Those are pretty much the same thing.”

  Then Grace remembered the comment he had made about his mom. Something about her not being his mom. It didn’t make sense then and really didn’t now either, but it was one explanation for being on the verge of bolting again. “You said you had an issue with your mom. I’m thinking I might not be the only woman you need to talk with today.”

  “No.”

  Something in his expression pinched. Closed up and shut down. “That answer doesn’t quite match up with what I said.”

  “A few kisses do not mean you get to tell me how to live my life.”

  She did not agree with that assessment at all. “I do as your girlfriend.”

  “You’re not that.”

  Maybe they should just have it out right there on the sidewalk. She’d bet money the crowd would side with her, but the longer she stood there, the weaker she felt. She needed a nap, and maybe some tea.

  The energy drained right out of her. “I am, but you’re too stubborn to admit it.”

  “I think I—”

  Unable to take one more second, she held up a hand. “Save it for tonight.”

  ***

  Declan got out of his car just in time to see Callen pull up to the curb outside of Tom’s house. It was a bungalow-style place on a quiet street. He’d fixed it up until the front looked brand-new. Declan knew from talking to Tom that the inside was a work in progress. To some extent, so was the apartment over the garage where his mom was staying.

  Rather than going in and checking on her, Declan waited for Callen to join him in the driveway. “What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to talk to her.”

  Declan wanted to see that as a good sign, but Callen’s stiff shoulders suggested otherwise. “And by ‘her,’ you mean our mom.”

  “Don’t start. I’ve already argued with Walker Reeves and Grace today.”

  “That sounds like a pretty fucking awful afternoon.” Made Declan happy he spent the morning filling in holes in the backyard.

  “No kidding.”

  Callen wasn’t exactly offering up details. Too bad for him—Declan had no intention of letting that fly. “Together or apart.”

  “Both.”

  Grace was one issue. Walker Reeves was downright dangerous. “You and the FBI agent who wants you locked up had a conversation with Grace sitting right there. Yeah, now I get why you look ready to punch someone.”

  “The guy makes me want to reach for a shovel every time he speaks.”

  Declan could relate, but the last thing he wanted was for Callen to take the bait and give Reeves and Chief Darber or anyone else in this town a reason to put his big brother in jail. He didn’t want Callen yelling at their mom either. “So, naturally, in that mood you came here.”

  “She should move back home.”

  Okay, that sounded like progress. “You’re coming around on Mom? Does that mean you’re coming around on Grace?”

  “She’s going to be the death of me.”

  Declan sensed Callen wasn’t joking. The dragging on the limbs and fogging of the brain. The mix of confusion and frustration. Declan recognized it all.

  “I know that feeling.” Declan clapped Callen on the shoulder. “Let’s go see if we can fix one of your women problems.”

  They walked in silence up the steps. Their sneakers clunked on the wood, but they didn’t say anything. Other than the odd car passing by and a little kid shrieking over a ball in the distance, the world stayed quiet.

  Declan made the mistake of looking in the window as he knocked. “Oh, hell no.”

  Behind him, Callen shifted positions. “What do you see?”

  It was too late. The door opened and Tom stood there. Tall with broad shoulders, he pretty much filled the doorway. His silver
-tinged blonde hair was the only hint that he had slipped from his late thirties to his mid-forties. The face still looked young, and Declan knew from rebuilding the outbuildings at Shadow Hill that the guy could lift and work at the speed of a much younger man.

  And his shirt was unbuttoned at least two buttons too far.

  “Uh, what the fuck?” Not Callen’s usual greeting, but for some reason it fit.

  Tom didn’t appear put off by the visit. He stepped aside and welcomed them. “Come in.”

  They stepped into the small family room in time to see their mom scramble off the couch. Her clothes were in place, but her hair looked disheveled and red stained her cheeks.

  “You can leave.” That was as cordial as Declan could manage as he glanced at Tom.

  Tom being Tom, he didn’t budge as he rebuttoned his shirt. “You’re not my boss here.”

  Mom rushed up next to him, almost plastered to his side. “Boys, what’s wrong?”

  “Other than you two sitting on the couch kissing . . . or whatever?” Yeah, it would take a few days to wipe that memory from Declan’s head. His mom and Tom leaning in . . . Damn.

  “That wasn’t happening,” she said.

  Tom frowned down at her. “Yes, it was.”

  She touched a hand to his arm in a move that looked both familiar and intimate. “Tom, please.”

  Declan didn’t like that at all. “Yeah, Tom. Please go.”

  “This is my house.”

  Declan wished Callen would say something. “You got anything to add? Maybe you could help me here.”

  Before he could answer, Mom looked up at Tom. “Could you give us a minute?”

  “Are you serious?” He snapped out the question.

  Declan didn’t like the response, but his mom didn’t seem upset. She actually came off as pretty clueless. Declan didn’t know how she missed the tension crowding the room.

  Her hand did tighten on Tom’s arm. “Please.”

  He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Whatever he planned to say cut off and he went with a simple response. “Fine.”

  Callen moved out of the way to let Tom by. The man didn’t storm, but he didn’t go quietly either. He pulled away from their mom and stomped the few feet to the door. One final look and he shut the door behind him. Not a slam, but close; then his footsteps thudded as he walked down the stairs.

  Declan stared at the shade over the window and tried to think of the right thing to say. “Should you be dating a guy with a temper?”

  “Both of you sit.”

  The whip of her voice had Declan spinning around to face her. “But I—”

  “Now.” She pointed at the small couch, which was really a love seat, as if to emphasize her point.

  The brothers dropped onto the cushions. With the small size, their shoulders touched until they were almost sitting on top of each other. Not that Declan thought now was the time to complain—and Callen clearly didn’t intend to say anything at all.

  Their mother paced in front of them, back and forth, her steps growing louder with each turn. She finally stopped and stared them down. “Look, I get that I didn’t date much when you were growing up. And I understand that you know Tom and he works for you. But this nonsense has to stop.”

  “What?” Declan regretted asking the second after he did. Maybe if her eyes hadn’t popped open wide like that.

  “The overprotective thing.”

  “You’re our mom.” Declan thought that explained it.

  She looked at Callen. “Nothing from you on that?”

  He shrugged. “I’m just sitting here.”

  Declan thought he heard her swear under her breath. The woman never swore. Well, very rarely. God knew she had every right. With her life, she should have broken out with a whole string of motherfuckers every day, but she refrained.

  She folded her hands in front of her, looking every inch the proper schoolteacher who refused to entertain any crap in her classroom. “You are welcome to visit anytime, but tell me why you are both here right now.”

  Declan went with the obvious answer. “You’re our mother.”

  “You should move back into Shadow Hill,” Callen said at the same time.

  Her attention went right to Callen. “Why?”

  “Leah likes having you there.”

  Leave it to Callen to find a right answer but not the right answer. Declan almost felt sorry for the poor bastard.

  Mom smiled. “That’s lovely, but no.”

  “Did I give the wrong response?” Callen sounded confused by the idea.

  “This is not a game.”

  Callen frowned. “Are you sure?”

  She sighed back at him. “Oh, Callen. You are never easy.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Listen up.” She balanced on the armrest of the only other seat in the room. “I’m only going to say this once, so you can email your brother and let him know.”

  Callen looked at Declan. “What does Beck have to do with this?”

  Their mom talked right over the question. “I am a grown woman. I will date whoever I want, however I want, and it is none of your business.”

  Declan was pretty sure she’d just told them she planned to have sex with Tom. Maybe she already had. For some reason, Declan couldn’t wrap his head around it. She was fairly young and attractive, in a mom way, but he’d never thought of her as part of a couple, and trying to change gears now was a slow process.

  “I want to forbid it, but I’m guessing that’s wrong,” he said.

  “Tell you what.” She looked back and forth between her sons. “Let’s strike a deal.”

  “Uh-oh.” Callen mumbled the comment.

  Declan thought something stronger might have been more appropriate.

  “You can know about my sex life.” When both brothers started to talk, she raised her voice and her chin, then kept talking. “But then I get a say in both of your sex lives. I can ask whatever I want, offer all the advice I want and talk to your partners.”

  Silence streaked through the room. Declan wondered if he wore the same wide-eyed look of horror as Callen did right now.

  Declan cleared his throat, trying to find his voice again. “I think you’ve made your point.”

  “I’m trying to imagine Leah’s reaction to that.” Callen’s voice sounded distant.

  “You wouldn’t be immune, Callen,” Mom said. “I’d get right in the middle of this thing you’re having with Grace.”

  The expression of horror switched to whatever came after that on the tragedy scale. “Oh.”

  “Right, so let’s work on respect.” Mom stood up, no longer fumbling with her clothes or looking pale. She clearly felt the balance of power shift back in her direction. “And so that we don’t have any misunderstandings and so you aren’t tempted to use Beck’s legal wrangling to find a workaround, know that if I find out you’ve gone after Tom, it will be my turn to move in and start nosing around.”

  Declan looked at Callen. “She’s serious.”

  Mom answered, “Yes, she is.”

  There was something about this strength that eased some of the anxiety rumbling around in his gut. Declan had spent a lot of time over the last few weeks feeling sorry for her and worrying that Callen’s cold disinterest was pushing her to the edge.

  Now Declan saw her in a new way. As a person, and not just a mom. “I think I like this side of you. Not the part where I know you’re having sex, but the other stuff.”

  “Get used to it.”

  Callen winced. “She didn’t deny the sex part.”

  “And that goes for you, too, Callen, because I am just about done tolerating your emotional shutdown.”

  Instead of firing back and getting upset, Callen ran a hand through his hair. “You’re the second woman to tell me that
today.”

  “Grace?” Declan asked.

  Mom’s smile looked downright conspiratorial now. “I knew I liked her.”

  Declan had seen that look before. Callen didn’t stand a chance. “Now you’re really screwed, man.”

  He frowned. “Why?”

  “If Mom and Grace join forces?” Declan made an explosion sound and matching gesture with his hands. “Done.”

  “Then I guess it’s a good thing we have our understanding.” Mom’s voice sounded downright cheerful now.

  Callen’s frown deepened. “Why do I think I’m still in trouble?”

  Mom smiled. “You always were a smart boy.”

  Chapter Nine

  Callen showed up ten minutes after texting he was on the way over. At least Grace assumed he was the one in the motel hallway thumping on her door. Either way, she now had his new phone number. She just hoped he didn’t get ticked off at her again and change it in the next ten minutes.

  She’d run after him enough. If he took off again he was on his own. Well, she wanted to think she’d take that tough stance—but who knew?

  When it came to Callen some of her female smarts misfired and her willingness to accept bullshit increased. Deep down she knew he was worth the risk and all the waiting, the heartache and the crying. But, man, she needed him to turn a corner soon.

  Wearing her usual uniform these days of black leggings and an oversized shirt, she headed for the door. A quick check and she opened it.

  Then her back hit the wall.

  Callen stood in front of her with his palms flattened by her head and his body leaning into hers. Without breaking eye contact, he kicked the door shut. “I know you want to talk.”

  With his windblown hair and sexy darkness he looked downright delicious. They could talk later.

  “Not right this second. Not anymore.” She ran her hands over his chest, remembering the comforting feel of his weight over her. The way he pushed into her as his hot mouth claimed hers.