Plain Perfect & Quaker Summer 2 in 1

by Beth Wiseman; Lisa Samson

He could barely understand her for the crying. He walked back into the kitchen. As the door slammed behind him, he worried how he’d keep his emotions inside. He just kept telling himself it was the best thing for David.

  “David, we need to be goin’,” he said as he walked into the den where Jonas and David looked like they’d barely gotten started on their chess game. Irma Rose wasn’t around.

  “We’re just getting started,” Jonas said, sounding disappointed.

  “Ya, Pop. I figured you and Lillian would be talkin’ for a while.” David smiled, but it quickly faded when he saw the look on his pop’s face.

  “Come on, boy. We’ve got things to tend to. Sorry, Jonas.” He grabbed his hat off the rack and headed for the door.

  Lillian was still curled up in the rocker. It took everything he had to make his legs walk down the porch steps and leave her like that.

  “Lillian, what’s wrong?” David made his way onto the porch and was standing behind Samuel, his eyes dark with worry.

  He turned around in time to see Lillian jump out of the rocker and run into the house.

  David didn’t move. “Pop, what’s goin’ on?”

  Samuel motioned for David to come along. It was going to be a hard conversation to have with his son. But it was for the best.

  “But, Pop, she was just tryin’ to tell me not to do all those things,” David said later. “I think she was just tryin’ to protect me.”

  He knew David was suffering right along with him and Lillian. “It’s not right to talk about such things, David.”

  “But I want her to be mei mamm someday!”

  Samuel had suspected the boy harbored the same hopeful image of the future he did: all of them as one big happy family. “Watch your tone, boy,” Samuel said, careful not to scorn him too much. He was hurting for sure.

  “But, Pop—”

  It was tough to see his son’s eyes welling up with tears. But someday he’d realize that this was the best thing for him. “On up to bed now,” Samuel said, fighting his own emotions. Couldn’t let the boy see him watering up.

  David ran up the stairs without saying another word. Samuel put his head in his hands. He couldn’t shake the image of Lillian crying.

  “Lillian, can I come in?”

  Lillian attempted to control her crying, to no avail. “Ya,” she said to her grandma, through the bedroom door.

  How could Samuel do this? Was his friendship so limited that there was no room for mistakes or forgiveness? She thought she was helping David see how bad choices could turn out. Samuel didn’t even want to hear her explanation. Obviously, he didn’t care about her the way she cared about him. If he could give up on their friendship so easily, then maybe it truly wasn’t meant to be.

  No. She just didn’t believe that. It was meant to be. It had to be. He and David were in her life. And she’d prayed so hard about it. Wasn’t God listening? How could this be happening?

  “There, there,” Grandma comforted, taking a seat on the bed.

  Lillian wept in her arms. “He didn’t even let me explain, Grandma,” she said after telling her what happened. “I want David to make good choices when he has his rumschpringe. He’ll be exposed to so many evils out in the world. I was just trying to prepare him so he’d know what to avoid. I would never encourage him to make any of the mistakes I made.” She cried some more while her grandma held her.

  “I know you wouldn’t lead the boy astray, Lillian. Maybe just give Samuel some time to think things out.”

  “He was so cold, Grandma. He just left me there, in pieces. It was horrible—like he didn’t care about me at all. How could he do that? I don’t understand.”

  Grandma gently pushed her away and cradled her cheeks with her hands. “Let me try to explain something to you in a way I reckon maybe you can understand. I know you love me and your grandpa. I know you love Samuel and David. But when you have kinner of your own, you’ll understand a whole different kind of love. It’s a love so powerful that you’ll cause hurt to yourself if it means protecting a child.”

  “David doesn’t need protection from me. I do love him. I would never, ever do anything to hurt him.” She pulled away from her grandma and threw her head on the pillow.

  “I know that, dear. I think when Samuel talks to David and thinks this through, in his mind he’ll come to know that too.” Stroking Lillian’s hair, she went on. “Sometimes, we think we’re doin’ right by our young ones. Maybe sometimes we don’t always do so.”

  As Irma Rose tried her best to comfort Lillian, she couldn’t help but wonder why her own daughter had left so abruptly—if it was something she did. There was no handbook for raising children, and she reckoned she’d done the best she could. Her heart went out to Lillian. And to Samuel. He was only trying to do what he thought was best for the boy. Hopefully he’d come to reason that Lillian only had David’s best interest at heart.

  “Did you call your mamm?” she asked when Lillian seemed to be a little better.

  “Ya.” She sat up on the bed and dabbed at her eyes. “She said she’s going to try to come. But I know her, Grandma. She won’t come and it will break Grandpa’s heart.”

  And mine. As nervous as she was to see Sarah Jane, it was all Irma Rose had thought about since Jonas shared the news of her visit.

  Three days since his conversation with Lillian, Samuel wasn’t feeling any better. To worsen things, David was barely talking to him. Maybe he’d acted too harshly. If he did, it was out of love and fear for his son. He thought back to his own rumschpringe and cringed, doubtful he’d experienced hardly a tad of what Lillian must have experienced in the Englisch world. Should he fault her for that? No. But sharing her past with his son was strictly off limits. She should have known that.

  Lost in regret and confusion, Samuel realized it was nearing four o’clock. He’d need to stir up some supper for him and David. Normally they’d be heading to Lillian’s on Wednesday. His heart was heavy as he thought about facing each day without Lillian in his life.

  “Have you talked to Lillian?” he asked, sitting down at the kitchen table across from his son.

  “Ya.” David bit into a cookie. It didn’t appear he was going to say anything about it.

  “Is she okay?”

  The look David fired at him surely deserved a trip to the woodshed and some discipline, but he let it go.

  “No, she’s not okay. And she fears talking to me—afraid she’ll get me and her in trouble.”

  Samuel hung his head. “I was just trying to protect you.” Maybe I made a mistake.

  “Pop, I’m gonna be seeing the Englisch world in a few years. She was just trying to tell me not to make some of the same mistakes she made.”

  “Ya. But such Englisch things are best unspoken.” He shouldn’t have to justify his actions to David.

  “Why? If her blunders might help me to not walk a bad path, then why should they not be talked about?” David’s tone was bordering on rude, and Samuel didn’t like it. But he considered the possibility that maybe his son was right.

  “Maybe I should talk to her.” Samuel stroked his beard and thought about what he would say. He was having a world of trouble trying to figure out how he was going to reconcile this situation.

  “I don’t think she wants to talk to you, Pop. I think she’s gone from being real upset to real mad.” David paused and bit into another cookie. “Besides, she’s got worry in her heart about Jonas. She’s fearing he’s going be real upset when her mother doesn’t show up today.”

  Samuel had been so focused on how much he missed her he’d forgotten that Wednesday was the day Sarah Jane Miller was due to arrive. It was gonna break Jonas and Irma Rose’s hearts if she didn’t show. And Lillian’s. He should be there to wait with her or comfort her if her mamm didn’t show up. What a fine mess he’d made of things.

  “Your grandpa hasn’t moved from that rocker on the porch for the past two hours. It’s nearin’ six o’clock, way past the supper hour,” Gr
andma said. “He needs to accept that Sarah Jane isn’t coming.”

  Lillian could hear the regret in her grandma’s voice. Honestly, she wasn’t sure who was more upset, Grandma or Grandpa.

  “I’m sorry, Grandma. Maybe I should go talk to Grandpa.” She stood from the kitchen table and headed toward the door. Grandma just shrugged.

  How could everything have fallen apart like this? She missed Samuel so bad it hurt, but she was equally angry at him for snatching away their friendship as if it meant nothing. And now this. She knew her mother wasn’t going to show. Just history repeating itself.

  She took a seat in the other rocker on the porch. “Grandpa,” she said hesitantly. “How long are you going to sit out here?”

  He stared down the dirt driveway. “Until Sarah Jane gets here.”

  Lillian started to ask him how long that would be, but he spoke first.

  “So, when are you and Samuel going to mend your ways?”

  “I don’t know if we are.” She didn’t want to talk about this right now. There were enough emotional issues swirling in the air.

  Grandpa winked. “Sure you are.”

  “I don’t know, Grandpa. He walked away from me like I meant nothing to him.”

  “Ach, Lilly, he was just not thinkin’ right at the time. Thought he was doin’ the best thing for the boy. He’s come to his senses by now, and I’m bettin’ he’s missing you up a storm about now. You two have spent a lot of time together these past few months.”

  “Well, I don’t miss him.” It was a big fat lie, which Grandpa saw right through.

  “Sure you don’t,” he said, drawing out his words. “Might take a little more time, but you kids will be seeing eye to eye again soon.”

  She hoped so, but it had been three days. Of course, she’d made her feelings pretty clear to David when she told him how mad she was. Wonder if David told his dad?

  She didn’t feel any better today than she did on Sunday. However, she was really worried about her grandparents.

  Mom, this is so like you to do this.

  The screen door slammed, and Grandma joined them on the porch. “Lillian, I’ve left some supper keepin’ warm on the oven. You need to eat yourself something.”

  “She’s waiting to eat with her mamm, Irma Rose,” Jonas said with a forceful tone.

  Grandma glanced at Lillian and then back at her husband. “Jonas, you can’t stay out here all night.”

  When he continued to stare down the driveway and didn’t respond, Grandma shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’m going in the den to read for a bit.” She turned to head back in the kitchen.

  Grandpa moved faster than she’d seen since her arrival. He sprang from the rocker so abruptly you’d have thought his behind was on fire. “There she is!” he yelled. “There’s my Sarah Jane!”

  Lillian could hardly believe her eyes as a car turned onto the driveway. She reached for her grandpa to steady him. He was so much better lately, but he was sure unsteady on his legs. She strained to see better.

  “What?” Grandma asked, turning to rejoin them on the porch. Her voice crackled with disbelief. “Is it true? Is it Sarah Jane?” She put her hands to her mouth and Lillian could see her trembling.

  As the car neared the house, Lillian strained even harder to see. She smiled.

  “It’s Mom,” she said, running down the steps. “Thank You, God,” she whispered on her way to the tan Ford pulling to a stop. She looked back at her grandparents and waved them to come closer.

  The car door opened, and Mom stepped out. Lillian didn’t think she had ever looked more beautiful. Her black slacks and conservative blue blouse framed her tall and slender figure. Perfectly groomed, as always, her blonde waves rested at her shoulders, teased for some height.

  It warmed Lillian’s heart the way her mom’s face lit up when she saw her. There was no shock at Lillian’s apparel, no snide comments. She just smiled.

  “You look beautiful, Lillian,” she said.

  Lillian fell into her arms. “So do you, Mom. I’m so glad you came.”

  The embrace lasted a long time. Lillian felt like she could have stayed in her mother’s arms forever. Memories of all the good things she experienced over the years came flooding over her. Yes, there had been hard times. But her mother deserved credit for the good times too. This being one of them.

  Gently, her mother pulled away and eyed her up and down. “You really do look beautiful, Lillian. The Amish look works for you.” She kissed her on the cheek before glancing up at her parents on the porch.

  Sensing her nervousness, Lillian said, “It’ll be fine, Mom. They are so excited.” She grabbed her mother’s hand and began pulling her toward them.

  Grandpa stretched out his arms wide in front of him. Tears poured down his face. She glanced at her grandma, whose hands were folded over her mouth. The rise and fall of her shoulders indicated she was unable to control her sobs of joy.

  “Sarah Jane,” Grandpa said, weeping. He took her in his arms and held her tight. It was only seconds before Sarah Jane cried out, “Pop, I’m so sorry. Oh, Pop, I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so sorry . . .”

  Grandma ran to them, throwing her arms around them both. “Sarah Jane,” she cried.

  “Mamm, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to come back. I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.” She turned toward her mother and lovingly embraced her.

  Lillian stood frozen, tears streaming down her face. It was a joyous moment. Only one thing would have made it perfect.

  No sooner had she processed the thought when she turned to see a buggy pulling up the driveway.

  “Samuel?” she whispered.

  16

  “I’LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE,” LILLIAN TOLD HER GRAND-parents and mother over her shoulder. Grandpa acknowledged hearing her, but she wasn’t sure what he said. She was focused on the approaching buggy. Disappointment flooded over her when she realized it wasn’t Samuel.

  It was Samuel’s brother, Ivan. Maybe he was here to deliver a message from Samuel.

  “Hi, Ivan. What brings you out here?” Lillian watched him step out of the buggy.

  “Everything all right?” he asked, approaching her.

  She wasn’t sure what he meant. Was he talking about Samuel?

  “What?” she asked.

  “I saw a car I didn’t recognize pulling in. I worried maybe Jonas was down again. Just stopping to check on you all.”

  Not what she was hoping to hear. “Everything is fine,” she said, forcing a smile. “Actually, my mamm is here, so my grandparents are very excited to see her.”

  “Gut news,” he said, crawling back into the buggy. “Just checking.”

  “Ivan, I was wondering—” She stopped. She didn’t know Ivan well at all. To question him about Samuel seemed inappropriate. “Thank you for checking on us.” She waved.

  Guiding his horse into motion, he tipped his hat and said, “Anytime,” as he pulled back down the driveway.

  For the next two hours, Lillian listened to her mother confessing to her parents more than was probably necessary. But it seemed to be a cleansing of her soul. She began with her affair with Daniel Foster and subsequent pregnancy and led into how shame and embarrassment kept her from returning to the Old Order district, with the exception of a few visits here and there. Much of what she said Lillian had never heard before or didn’t remember. Grandma and Grandpa hung on her every word.

  Lillian knew it was difficult for her mother to share her past, and she had never been more proud of her. As Mom released years of pent-up emotion, her face twisted in agony as she recalled certain events. In the dimly lit kitchen, Grandma never let go of Sarah Jane’s hand, and Grandpa cried a lot. Lillian sat with her arm around her mother, giving her a gentle squeeze when she struggled to continue.

  She concluded with Lillian’s confrontation with Daniel.

  “Oh, Lillian,” Grandma said sadly, shaking her head, “I’m sorry we didn’t know what you were goin’ th
rough.”

  “It’s all right, Grandma. I have put it behind me. I just needed some answers to be able to move forward.”

  Not entirely true. It would take a while to recover from the sting of meeting her father.

  As everyone attempted to gather themselves after the emotional conversation, her mother asked, “So, Lillian, where is your friend?”

  Her heart sank with regrets about Samuel. As she opened her mouth to try and communicate some sort of response, Grandpa interjected his own thoughts about it.

  “Lillian and Samuel are like peanut butter and jelly. They ain’t nothin’ alike, but they’re real good when they’re together. They’re both mixed-up over some silly nonsense they need to get worked out. My guess is they’ll be workin’ it out at the barn raising this Saturday.” He smiled, which was a welcome sight after all the heartache the past couple of hours. “Nothing like a good barn raising to lift the spirits. Wish I was a younger man not all eaten up by the cancer. I’d be out there on Saturday lending a hand.”

  “I don’t know how things will turn out,” Lillian said, despair in her voice. “I miss him a lot, but he’s made no attempt to come see me. I’m pretty sure he meant what he said.”

  “Hogwash! He’ll be back here at suppertime every few days before you can shake a stick.” Grandpa said. “Then the whole family will be back together again.”

  Lillian tried to perk up. “I hope so, Grandpa. I really do.”

  “Pop, maybe you ought to go talk to Lillian,” David told his dad. Samuel dimmed the lantern in his bedroom. “And tell her you’re sorry.”

  The boy was right. Plus, Samuel knew he’d been a hard man to live with lately. Hearing David’s spirited talk of the Englisch ways had left him fearful about his son’s future. But his reaction to everything Lillian had said to David was from the hip, without thinking about her intentions. He’d been preaching faith to her, yet his own faith in her had temporarily deserted him.

  “I’m planning on talkin’ to her at the barn raising Saturday. Ivan stopped by and said he dropped by their place to check on things. Her mamm was there. I know they all have lots of catching up to do, so I’m going to let them all be for now.”