Thank You, God. She had struggled with her decision to be baptized, prayed hard that she was doing the right thing and for the right reasons. She still had a lot to learn. But she knew that she wanted to learn it here, around those she loved. With confidence, she had spoken to the bishop about her decision. Although a proposal from Samuel was the last thing she expected so soon after he professed his love for her.
As if reading her mind, he said, “I know it might seem soon, Lillian. But once you know who you want to spend the rest of your life with . . . Ach, I just couldn’t see wasting time. I know we couldn’t marry until after your baptism, if that’s what you choose to do, and—”
“How’s November sound to you?” she asked, opening her eyes wide and blinking back the salty sting of emotion.
“What?” he asked, confused. “That’s only three months away, and your baptism would have to be in October. That’s in only a couple of months, and—”
“October 19 to be exact.” She threw her arms around him. “Oh, Samuel! That was my news. I talked to the bishop about being baptized. I wanted to make the decision to stay for the right reasons. I had hoped you would want to marry me someday, but I was staying either way.”
As his lips met with hers, he drew her closer. “Lillian, nothing would make me happier than to watch you receive baptism in October and marry you in November.”
“Then that’s the plan,” she said, leaning in for another kiss.
Lillian was surprised her mother was still around after nearly two weeks. Grandpa had several good days following the funeral, and several bad days. Mom was there for the good and bad. She got up with him at night when he was throwing up, helped him bathe when he needed help, and played chess with him as often as he was able. Seeing them together warmed Lillian’s heart. But often she had to walk away to hide her tears. How Grandma would have loved Mom being here.
Something about Mom was different too. While Grandma’s death devastated them all, there was something in Mom’s demeanor reflective of a significant change. There was a calmness about her Lillian didn’t remember seeing—ever. She’d gotten used to having her around too. Surprisingly, she enjoyed having her here. After spending so much time trying to cut the cord from her mother and their turbulent relationship, it was refreshing to be in new territory with her. They were kind and loving to each other. They talked, often late into the night. They shared stories, worries, past mistakes, and hopes for the future. It was the way mothers and daughters should be. In the aftermath of something so sad, something wonderful had happened. And Mom was thrilled about the wedding plans and excited to be involved in the planning.
Samuel and David resumed their places at the supper table almost every night. Much of the food continued to come from Samuel’s garden and butchered livestock. Grandpa was able to eat downstairs some of the time, and Mom sat on the bench next to him. Everyone was painfully aware of the empty chair at the end of the table. Mom refused to sit in it, even though Grandpa said he would have more elbow room if she did.
David’s summer vacation from school ended, and he wasn’t able to help as much with chores around their place. He and Samuel did what they could to help keep both farms manicured, but work was piling up at both farms. Lillian wasn’t sure how much earlier they could all get up in the mornings to accomplish all they needed to do. Grandma had certainly made her share of the daily chores look easy. In her absence, Lillian and her mom struggled to match up to Grandma’s way of keeping things neat and orderly.
The family talked of Lillian’s impending baptism often. Soon she and Samuel would publish their wedding announcement for the first Tuesday in November. Weddings were usually held on Tuesday or Thursday, most commonly the slowest days of the week. November was the wedding month, following the busy fall harvest and before the risk of unfavorable winter weather.
They had avoided the specifics of how all this was going to work since the first time Lillian made mention to Grandpa that perhaps he could live with them at Samuel’s place. His gruff response left no doubt he would leave his family farmstead feet first. “I was born here, and I’ll die here,” he groaned.
But Grandpa’s grief was taking a toll on his health. He couldn’t take care of himself, and Lillian was not about to leave him alone. She and Samuel had discussed it several times, and each time there was no resolution. As much as they wanted to be together as husband and wife, Grandpa was not capable of taking care of himself.
A few days later, Samuel and Lillian excused themselves from the supper table early. Jonas wasn’t sitting as tall as usual, barely touching his ham and potato salad. As they walked hand in hand toward the barn, Samuel knew Lillian had the same thing on her mind that he did.
“Grandpa can’t stay alone,” she said. “There’s no way, Samuel.”
“I know.” He turned to face her. The sun had yet to give in to the moon, and in the evening light her eyes were full of worry. “I reckon me and David can move here when we’re married. I just want us to be a family, Lillian. Jonas is a part of this family.”
She sighed. “You love that farm of yours, Samuel.”
A lot of heartfelt labor had gone into making his farm a place to be proud of. The house had been run down and the fields overgrown when Samuel purchased the old property, back before he married Rachel. Now it was as nice a place as any in their district.
But despite his attachment to the farm, his attachment to Lillian was greater. “I love you, and leaving Jonas is not an option.”
She buried her head in his chest. “What are we going to do? I love you so much, Samuel. I’ll live anywhere, as long as it’s with you. I just hate for you to give up your home, and I hate for Grandpa to have to give up the only place he’s ever lived. But the only way I see this working is for one of you to let go of your property. It needs to be Grandpa. He can’t take care of this place. It’s hard on you and David tending to both farms.”
“Home is where you make it, Lillian. My home is with you, David, and Jonas.”
Kissing her tenderly, he could not imagine his life without her. Despite their challenges, Lillian filled his heart with love in a way he didn’t think possible again. David loved her too.
But love of the land, tilling of the soil, and producing—it was the Amish way, and he had done a fine job at it. Letting the land dissolve into a barren oasis of deeply planted dreams was hard to swallow.
As darkness neared, they turned their attention to headlights rounding the turn onto the driveway.
“Are you expecting anyone?”
“No,” she said, surprised.
They waited as a large truck slowly made its way down the dirt driveway. By the time the driver parked the truck, Samuel noticed Sarah Jane and David making their way down the porch steps. It was a really large truck with a sign on the side that said Leeway Moving.
“What’s going on?” Lillian asked.
“It’s your farm.” He joked. “I have no idea.”
“Over there!” Samuel heard Sarah Jane yell. “Park over by the barn.”
As Sarah Jane and David met up with them, Lillian asked, “Mom, what is this truck doing here?”
Sarah Jane smiled. “It’s a few of my things I couldn’t live without. You know, my four-poster bed that I finally purchased from that lovely shop at the Trader’s Village in Houston, and some other things I really need.”
Samuel wondered if an answer to their prayers had just arrived. But he wasn’t quite sure.
“Mom, what are you saying?” Lillian’s face glistened as the sun faded and the moonlight seemed to focus exclusively on her.
“You should know, Lillian, I will be taking over some of those dresses from upstairs when you leave to be Samuel’s wife. So you need to start thinking about sewing yourself some more. Because, if you must know, those dresses you are wearing are mine.”
She winked at her daughter and headed toward the truck. “I said, park by the barn!” She threw her hands in the air and pointed toward the barn, c
ontinuing to instruct the driver.
Lillian was quickly on her mother’s heels. “Mom?”
“I’m staying, Lillian,” she confirmed. “We’ll figure out what to do with all these things later.”
“But, Mom—”
Samuel watched as Sarah Jane faced her daughter. “He’s my pop, Lillian. I’m going to take care of him. You need to start your life with your husband in November. I plan to spend the second half of my life making amends for the mistakes I made during the first half.”
“But, Mom . . .” Lillian said again.
“By the barn!” Sarah Jane yelled. “We are putting everything in the barn for now!”
The driver got as close to the barn as he could.
While the moving van distracted her Mom, Lillian latched on to Samuel’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Oh, Samuel,” she said, gleaming. “Is my mother answering our prayers?”
It seemed an unlikely source, but one that was upon them. “I think so,” he answered.
Once Sarah Jane had the movers unloading her necessary belongings in the correct manner into the barn, she walked toward David, who was standing a few feet from Samuel and Lillian.
“David, your pop and my daughter look speechless,” she said, giving the boy a hug.
Samuel noticed David’s eyes light up. He had a clear reckoning as to what was happening.
“You’re going to stay here and live with Jonas while Lillian comes and lives with me and my daed?” he asked, seeming a little unsure.
“Ya,” Sarah Jane answered. “But I’m hoping I’ll still have you to help us in the afternoons after Lillian marries your daed.” Lillian’s eyes were aglow and she seemed pleasantly surprised at her mother’s use of the Deitsch.
“You bet,” David said. “Jonas will be expecting me to play chess after my chores.”
“Well you’ll have to beat me first,” Sarah Jane said.
“Mom, are you sure about this?” Lillian asked her mother. “What about Paul? What about your job? Are you sure?”
Sarah Jane grew solemn and faced her daughter. “I should have come back here, Lillian. I should have trusted the love of my parents.” She paused. “And the love of God. Being here reminds me of what it’s like to live a lifestyle void of complications. I want to live out the rest of my years this way.”
“Mom,” Lillian said, embracing her, “does Grandpa know?”
“I sure do.”
Samuel followed the voice to see Jonas hobbling down the porch steps.
“You people are the loudest bunch I’ve ever known. What does a sick ol’ man with cancer have to do to be gettin’ some rest around here?” He continued to hobble toward Sarah Jane, a smile stretched across his face.
“Pop,” she said lovingly, walking toward him, “and I want to stay together.”
He tried to hide it, but Samuel could see Jonas’s eyes welling up.
“There’s nothin’ I’d like more in this wunderbaar world the Good Lord created,” Jonas said, hugging his daughter. “Irma Rose is smiling from heaven.”
Samuel looked at Lillian, whose eyes glazed with emotion. “The Good Lord has a way of takin’ care of things,” he said.
“Ya, He does.”
Samuel watched as Sarah Jane gently eased her father away and walked toward him and Lillian. “Will it be all right with the two of you if I boot you out in November, after you’re married? It would be too crowded in this house with Lillian.” She kissed her daughter on the cheek.
“Oh, I guess I’ll have to take her to my place after we’re married,” he said jokingly.
“Lillian?” her mother asked. “What about you? Think you can go live with this man in marital bliss while I take care of your grandpa?”
“Mom, danki,” Lillian said, wrapping her arms around her.
“No, Lillian, thank you,” her mother said softly, but still in earshot of Samuel. “This is where I belong. It’s where I’ve always belonged. I just didn’t know how to find my way home.”
Sarah Jane turned to Samuel. “A hug for your future mother-in-law?”
Samuel welcomed the hug. Whatever it took to make his Lillian as happy as she was at this moment.
“Bunch of mushy stuff goin’ on, I say.” Jonas rejoined the three of them after sharing some time with David.
“Now, I have another surprise for all of you. It’s a really big surprise,” Sarah Jane announced.
Samuel watched as Lillian’s mother lovingly wrapped her arms around her daughter again. “And, Lillian, I’m so sure that everything is going to be gut!”
Irma Rose would have been so proud, Samuel thought to himself. But what in the world was Sarah Jane’s surprise?
18
EVIDENCE OF FALL WAS ABUNDANT. COLORFUL LEAVES swirled around in the crisp air as buggies lined the drive at the Miller farm. It was the perfect day for a baptism. Lillian greeted community members from the den. Most of them she knew, and several she had gotten to know well over the past couple months since Grandma died. Particularly Sadie. They’d become quite close. She took Lillian to a quilting party and introduced her to other women in the community. Lillian even asked her new friend to be a waiter—the Amish term for bridesmaid—at her upcoming wedding, along with her mother.
Only two more weeks until she would be Lillian Stoltzfus. She glanced at her husband-to-be across the room, also greeting guests. Being in love with Samuel filled her heart with a joy she didn’t know possible. It had been hard to accept God into her heart and to accept His will, but with Samuel and David’s help, she had put all doubts to rest. For the first time in her life, peacefulness consumed her. The peacefulness of knowing all things of this earth were in His hands.
She was thankful to Him that Grandpa was having one of his good days. Following a rough couple of weeks, he looked strong and handsome. Glancing upward, she whispered, “Danki.”
Still, not a day went by that she didn’t think about Grandma. She missed her in a terrible way and knew this would have been a proud moment for her.
As everyone took their respective places, as they did in worship service, Lillian prepared to leave all worldly things behind and accept her birthright with newfound faith and confidence. However, once everyone settled in, she turned to her left . . . to see her mother preparing for baptism alongside her. Mom had mentioned she had a surprise, but Lillian couldn’t have imagined this. What a blessed moment and a wonderful surprise—to choose baptism after all these years. Mom could have just chosen to stay and take care of her father, without committing her life to the Ordnung. It was yet another reflection of God in both their lives.
Despite exhaustion from taking care of Grandpa, Mom spent countless hours making sure Lillian was comfortable with the Ordnung and helping her with her Deitsch. As she took up where Grandma left off, teaching Lillian the Amish ways, Lillian witnessed an incredible transformation, a profound renewal of faith in her mother. A woman injured by life—and with scars to show for it—she seemed to be exactly where she belonged.
Now she merely smiled and squeezed Lillian’s hand before returning to her preparations.
With three females and four males seeking baptism, they each sat with one hand over their faces to represent their submission and humility to the church. The deacon ladled water from a bucket into the bishop’s hand, and the bishop sprinkled each of their heads three times, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
The bishop blessed each new male member with a holy kiss, and his wife blessed each new female church member with a holy kiss. They were then all welcomed as new church members. And as was the Amish way, a bountiful meal followed.
Samuel took a stroll out to the barn. His Lillian was a church member and now they would be married in a couple of weeks. He wanted some time to be alone, to thank the Lord for all the blessings bestowed upon him and David.
The old newspapers were still scattered on the dirt floor of the barn. He gathered them up and placed them neatly back in the box. What a long way they
had come. It was a struggle, but Lillian had put the past behind her and moved forward with hope and determination. He smiled as he recalled her receiving baptism. She had never looked more beautiful.
“I saw you sneaking out here,” he heard her say when she entered the barn. “Most of the kitchen is cleaned up, so I snuck out too.”
Samuel put the last newspaper in the box and stacked it atop the other boxes. This was a special day, and he hoped seeing the newspapers didn’t bring back any painful memories for her. He walked toward her, and she smiled. Pulling her close, he said, “Have I mentioned how beautiful you look?” He kissed her on the cheek.
“Several times,” she said, her face nuzzled into his chest. “I feel so good about everything, Samuel.”
“Do you feel any different?” He remembered feeling wonderfully different after his baptism.
She gently pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes aglow with joy. “I do feel different. In some ways, it’s all very surreal. I mean, if anyone had told me a year ago that Mom and I would be as close as we are, or that both of us would be baptized into the Amish faith, I never would have believed it.” She paused and twisted her mouth into a frown. “Bad things happen sometimes. It was hard for me to accept those things as God’s will in the beginning.” She smiled again. “But, gut things happen too. It’s a balance, I suppose. I shouldn’t question His will. I miss Grandma every day. But I’m so grateful for Mom, and I never thought I would be able to say that. I’m so thankful, Samuel. To you. To God.” He watched as her eyes glazed over with tears of contentment. “I’m just very happy.”
“And soon we’ll be married.” He pulled her close again.
Plain Perfect & Quaker Summer 2 in 1 Page 23
