by Lena Skye
“Not so fast,” he laughed because he could tell that I was close to my climax. He pulled his finger from me and placed it inside of his mouth. His eyes sparkled as he made a show of licking all of my juices from his digit. My chest rose and fell quickly while I waited for what I wanted for the last 3 months. His thick cock pressed against my center, and I opened my legs wider to accommodate him.
He softly placed his lips against mines and murmured, “I’ve missed you so much angel face,” before he pushed inside of me in one swift motion.
“Fuuuuck,” I moaned against his lips. It was painful and orgasmic, and I wanted more. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He took his time with me and pushed deep with each thrust.
His head rested against the pillow, and he whispered how much he loved me into my ear each time that he plunged into my depths. His cock relentlessly pushed inside of me until it no longer resisted him. My pain had completely given way to pleasure and my legs began to shake each time the head of his cock pressed against my g-spot.
“Cum for me,” he said into my ear, “I’m not going to be able to hold it.”
I took a few deep breaths and focused on the liquid heat that was settling below and it broke though like water breaking through a dam. His pace quickened and a few pumps later his moans reverberated through my room. It was a sound that I’d longed to hear, and it was music to my ears. He rolled off of me and collapsed to my side. We lay in silence for a moment as we both stared at the ceiling. I wondered if the same thoughts were going through his head.
I turned to my side so that I could pull him close to me, “I’m so happy that everything has worked out.” His flesh felt cool to the touch and like fabric.
Then my eyes opened, and I noticed that I saw that I was hugging my pillow. It was all a dream I don’t think that I’d ever felt so lonely in my entire life. I hugged the pillow tighter to my chest and let my tears flow. I was so tired of crying, it was getting old.
*
The good thing about having an embarrassing dream is that no one else has to ever know about it. So I decided to keep that one to myself. A few days later as I was Facebook stalking Kenneth I saw that he had placed a new update. It was an event invite, and my heart leaped because it was titled “Kenneth’s Welcome Back Party.”
It read ‘Well NYC was good, but my work here is done. I hope you all missed me. My flight touches down at 5pm, and I want to meet all of you at The Sound Table by 9pm. I’ve got some big news to share, and I want to celebrate!’
I went to the event page, and I noticed that he didn’t send it to me personally but he seemed to have invited everyone else. That’s when I knew that he was still pretty pissed at me. I figured the best thing to do is to talk to him face to face instead of just turning up at his party. I finally had my opportunity to tell him everything that I’d been thinking. He finally was returning to Atlanta, and I refused to let him slip through my fingers by being complacent.
His plane landed at 5, and the only place that he had to stay was with Maurice and Joshua. I was just going to meet him there at 6pm and hope for the best. He was a creature of habit and not a fan of staying in hotels when he had a perfectly good place to stay. I wanted the opportunity to celebrate his new big news with him and to find out the details behind the new contract that he’d gotten. It was burning me up to not call him about it because I was so accustomed to us sharing our successes with one another. We were long overdue for a reunion and couldn’t wait to get my Kenny back.
“You okay?” Crystal asked as she stared at me.
“Oh, I didn’t hear you come in,” I said as I closed the window to my Facebook.
“Yes, I’m sorry that I kept you waiting back here for so long,”
Crystal was one of my clients, and I was there to talk about the direction that she wanted to go in for the next season. I knew her like the back of my hand and so she was going to be very easy to place. I just think that you still give people a certain level of customer service even if you’re already sure of their needs. Everyone wants to feel special and I did my best to make sure that all of my clients were happy. For the next hour I focused my attention completely on her and put away thoughts of my plans for the future.
My nerves were too on edge to do any leg work and research for the day. 6pm couldn’t come fast enough, and there was no way that I was going to talk to my friends about what I had planned. I could already hear them trying to talk me out of it. He’d been gone for 3 months with absolutely no contact, and so it was clear to them where he stood. I called him a few times but I didn’t leave any voicemails, and he never called me back.
He and I had been through much worse, and I’d waited on him for a full year before, so 3 months was nothing in comparison. He meant a lot to me and missing my chance to tell him how I felt just wasn’t an option. I headed home to calm my nerves with a glass of wine before I jumped off of the emotional cliff.
A few short hours later I was sitting outside of his house waiting to surprise him. My hands were shaking as I played my Jill Scott CD. I kept telling myself to calm down and to stop over-thinking it. Kenneth and I had known each other for years, and so there wasn’t any need for me to be scared to tell him how I felt. My pep talk did nothing to help me and so I got out of the car and walked towards his house. Granted, I would look pretty pathetic sitting on his door step but I felt pathetic so it was fitting.
I looked at my watch and got antsier because he should have been there by then. I didn’t take into account that he may have stopped somewhere else first or that he’d gotten a new place. That was something that he could have done easily. I suddenly felt like an idiot, and I was happy that no one was around to witness my madness. I stood to my feet and got ready to walk to my car. That’s when I spotted him walking down the street. He was walking arm in arm with some bombshell blonde, laughing and joking, as they carried their luggage.
I jumped off of his door step and started to walk down the street to my car. I tried to hide my face with my hair and walk away as if I didn’t see them at all. I felt sick as if I was going to throw up at any moment. I should have known that he wasn’t going to be alone for an extended period of time. I hadn’t just met him, and I saw that not much had changed. It was almost as if they picked up the pace, and I couldn’t get to my car fast enough.
I opened my car door with my remote and the beeping drew attention me. I cursed myself for not doing it manually. Then I heard my name.
“Nicole?”
I opened my car door, and I was going to get in anyway and drive off. It wasn’t too late for me to bail.
“Nikki?” Kenneth screamed again louder.
I sighed and pulled my leg from the car and closed the door. I walked over to him and the woman with him. She got prettier with each step that I took towards her and I was sure that she was a model.
“What are you doing here?” Kenneth asked.
“Oh, I was here to borrow a DVD from Maurice but I guess he’s not here.”
Kenneth’s face scrunched in confusion, but he didn’t press me any further.
“Well it is actually good to see you anyway. You look very well. This is my girlfriend Amanda. Amanda this is Nicole,” he said introducing the both of us.
I plastered a smile onto my face, “It’s nice to meet you Amanda,” I said as I stuck my hand out to shake hers.
She gave me a genuine smile, “It’s so nice to meet you Nicole, I’ve heard so much about you.”
Her tone was genuinely sweet when she said it, and I didn’t know what to make of that. It was hard to be upset with someone that was so pretty and nice. That just increased my need to get the hell out of there.
“I’m happy to hear that,” I responded before I looked at Kenneth, “I’m sorry to run off but I have a hair appointment at 7. Welcome back, and once again it was nice to meet you Amanda.” I turned on my heels and walked off to my car without waiting for a response
“Hey Nicole, look I nee
d to talk to you about something and so I’ll give you a call later,” Kenneth called after me.
I gave a quick nod of my head and continued towards my car. I really just wanted to go home. My pillow and I had another appointment.
#Chapter5
“All of the signs were there, and I chose to ignore them.”
Nicole
After I finished crying, I knew that there was no way that I could go to Kenneth’s party. All of our friends were going to be there, and everyone would be looking at me to see my reaction. I was still shell shocked from it all, and it hurt that he was with a white girl. I couldn’t really explain my rationale because he was white too, but I think it was because he went out and got the complete opposite of me. How in the hell would I ever be able to compete with that? He’d clearly moved on and was over me.
I tried to keep my seething hate for Joshua down to a minimum. I felt like I had gotten caught up in his game, and I’d lost horribly. Sure, he and Kenneth had a huge fight but everyone knew that they were still going to be friends. I was the one that was left out in the cold, and they both were free to move on with their lives. It just didn’t seem fair at all. I just didn’t see why Kenneth didn’t come to me and talk to me instead of fleeing to New York.
I was upset with him, but I would have listened to him. At least I think that I would have listened to him. We had so much history between us, and I knew what a snake Joshua was. If he came to me and told me that Joshua concocted it all, I would have believed him, and we could have moved on with our lives. Instead, he chose to leave town without trusting me to do the right thing. On top of that, he thought that I’d actually slept with Desmond.
I’m a lot of things, but I’m not disloyal. I only wanted Kenneth, and he had my heart. I wasn’t willing to jeopardize that even when I was mad at him. I tried to stop rethinking the day that I put Kenneth out of my house. I had no clue that I was pushing him out of my life and into the arms of someone else. I guess I really just brought it all on myself, and that was a truth that hurt more than anything.
Patrice called me once I got home.
“Hey girl!” I know you’ve seen the post. So are you coming tonight?
“Yeah, I’ve seen it,” I said unenthusiastically.
“I thought that you would be a lot happier than this,” she said.
“I don’t feel good at all,” I lied, “I have a migraine that won’t quit, and I feel so nauseous.”
“Oh no,” she said with concern, “Is there anything that I can do for you?”
“No, I just need some rest,” I said, “It’s needless to say, but I won’t be making the party tonight.”
“I understand, you have to take care of yourself.”
“That’s what I plan on doing. I think I just need some rest.”
“Well, I’m going to let you go because I know how those migraines can be. I’ll check on you later, alright?”
“Alright,” I whispered before I hung up.
I didn’t feel bad at all about lying to my friend because if I told her the truth she would have wanted to talk about it. I wasn’t ready to talk about what happened with anyone just yet. Tonight she would see what was going on and then I would have to deal with a ton of questions. At least by letting them see it for themselves, I wouldn’t have to explain what was going on.
I could still see Kenneth in my head, and he looked so damned good. He looked just the way that he did in my dream. But more than anything he looked happy, and the huge smile on his face was difficult to ignore. It was great to see it, but I wasn’t the person that had put it there. He had Amanda now, and there wasn’t anything that I could do about it. I was a little upset with myself because he was out having the time of his life while I was moping, working myself to death, and having sex dreams about him.
I put my phone back underneath my pillow and closed my eyes. My phone began buzzing again, and I hoped that I wouldn’t have to play sick again with Jasmine. I looked at it and saw that it was Kenneth. I wasn’t ready to speak to him yet, and he didn’t have anything to say that I wanted to hear anyway. I cut my phone off so that I wouldn’t be bothered by it again. I was taking the evening off from life, and I wasn’t going to let anyone ruin it for me. I deserved to be able to wallow in my own misery uninterrupted for a night.
The following day was a huge drag, and I was doing my best to avoid all social media because the photos from Kenneth’s event were going to be plastered everywhere. I didn’t feel like seeing every one’s happy faces, because it would have felt like they were mocking me. I went to my kitchen to reheat bread-sticks that I shouldn’t have been eating. I’d gained more than a few pounds in the past few months, and that was due to the poor eating habits that I’d newly developed. I also wasn’t working out as much as I usually did because I wasn’t in the mood to go to the gym, run, or to workout with the hellish DVD’s. I tried that Insanity workout and gave up after 3 days. I guess I am just finding it hard to focus in life right now.
I sat at the table and shamefully dipped my bread-stick in the marinara and enjoyed the carbs and calories. I then vowed to get back on the health wagon the following day. I was going to get all of it out of my system that day and do better. Now that I was single, it was the wrong time to gain weight. My eyes kept drifting to my tablet, and I was compelled to put it on and take a look. The sooner I logged on and saw the photos the sooner it would all be over with. There was also a good chance that things weren’t as bad as I thought they were. As bad as it sounds, I would feel a lot better if I looked at the pictures and it looked like a boring party with hardly anyone there.
I stuffed the last piece of bread-stick into my mouth, washed my hands, and walked over to my couch. I turned it on and braced myself. Just as I expected, I was inundated with photos from Kenneth’s party. Funny how Facebook can read your mind sometimes.
My eyes bugged out of my head once I saw the event tag that were on each of the photos. The event was now labeled ‘Kenneth’s engagement party.’ My breathing became labored as I went to his wall and saw everyone offering him congratulations. My mind refused to process the information, and that was probably for the best because I wasn’t able to handle the reality of that moment. I shakily put my tablet on my coffee table and laid on my couch and zoned out, I felt numb.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been lying on my couch, but my door buzzing woke me up. I grumpily got up and looked outside, it was Patrice and Jasmine. I was about to get annoyed about their lack of calling until I looked at my phone and saw that they’d called me numerous times. I buzzed them in and opened the door; I sat back down on the couch without waiting on them to get my apartment door.
“Hey girly,” Jasmine said cautiously.
They had obviously stopped by to tell me the horrible news, and I wasn’t in the mood to draw the process out.
“No need for that,” I said flatly as I looked at them both, “I already know.”
“See I told you that she knew, that’s why she wasn’t answering her phone,” Patrice told Jasmine.
I rolled my eyes at Patrice for talking about me like I wasn’t in the room.
“Sorry,” she said, “We were just worried about you after what happened last night. I swear if I knew that it was about that I would have never gone.”
“No need to apologize for something that you had no control over. None of us knew that he was going to announce that. So don’t feel guilty,” I assured her.
“So how are you doing?” Jasmine asked.
I was going to answer her with the standard ‘I’m okay,” but I took a moment to really examine how I was feeling. I couldn’t register anything because none of it had hit me yet. It was as if my body put a fortress around my heart, and I couldn’t feel a thing. I wasn’t going to fight it because I didn’t want to fall apart, I didn’t want to experience the grief that mind was protecting me from.
“I don’t really know how I feel yet,” I said honestly. “But I do wish that I moved on a lot earlie
r. I shouldn’t have dated Joshua, but I shouldn’t have taken Ken back either, we were doomed from the beginning. All of the signs were there, and I chose to ignore them.”
“So then you’re done?” Patrice asked.
“Do I have any other choice?” I asked in annoyance. “What was she like anyway?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Jasmine said cautiously, “She seemed really nice and they did seem like they loved each other.”
“Yeah the girl seems genuinely sweet, and I feel sorry for her,” Patrice said.
I already knew where Patrice was going with her line of thinking. She figured that Kenneth was using Amanda as a pawn in order to get to me but something told me things were different this time. I didn’t want to play games anymore, and I hoped for Amanda’s sake that he was really serious about her. It was confirmed that she was a sweet person, and so I wasn’t going to wish anything horrible on her relationship. Although I was left to wonder if he knew her previously because 3 months was a really short time to make a huge leap like that. However, it ceased to be of importance. He made his decision about what he wanted, and I just had to live with it.
