Chance

by Deborah Bladon

  I had no idea. "How was he when you spoke to him?"

  "He was frustrated with Caleb," he starts before he pulls his gaze back to me. "I'm frustrated with him too."

  "Me too," I mumble under my breath. Beyond telling Graham and Ivy, I haven't shared the details of what happened between Caleb and me last week with anyone.

  "Where do you think he is, Rowan?" He twists in his seat to look back at the bank of windows that overlook Central Park. "Do you think he's still in New York? I want to find him. I need to."

  Chapter 24

  "If I had any idea, I'd tell you Gabriel," I assure him as I stand to walk towards the windows. "I've spent hours thinking about where he could be. I walk past the brownstone your family used to live in every day hoping he's there, sitting on the stoop the way he used to do when we were kids."

  A small grin tugs at the corner of his lips. "He loved that house. When he was in rehab he talked about buying it one day. He wants to raise his kids in that neighborhood."

  I turn to smile at him. For the first time, since Asher disappeared I feel actual hope. Gabriel speaks about him as if he's returning. He has the same faith in his brother that I do. "It's a great place to raise a family."

  "It is, "I agree quietly. "Asher will be an amazing dad."

  "He wants that. He talks about it or he did when he was still here."

  I close my eyes to ward off the emotional tidal wave I feel bearing down on me. "We need to find him."

  "We're going to find him." He stands behind me, his hands resting on my shoulders. "I'm back and I'm not giving up until my little brother is home safe and sound."

  "If I can do anything to help, you'll let me know, right?"

  "You've been holding down the fort since I've been gone." He pats my shoulder. "Caleb told me that you've been helpful."

  Helpful? That's it?

  "Caleb likes doing things on his own," I try to sound as non-judgemental as I can. "He hasn't asked me for much help with finding Asher."

  "He told me about the morgue." I see his reflection in the glass windows as his gaze falls to the floor. "He told me you were stronger than he was that morning."

  I spin around to look directly at him. "I wasn't being strong. That's not what it was. I knew it wasn't Asher. I could feel it inside. I think I'd know if anything happened to him."

  His mouth thins. "The last time I spoke to Asher he told me that he was feeling down. He said that life had become complicated and I warned him about using again. I specifically asked him if he was feeling the draw towards it."

  "What did he say?"

  "He said that he'd never do it again." He shakes his head. "He was adamant about it. I know, from the time I spent in therapy with him, that addicts will say just about anything to convince everyone they're fine."

  I know that too. Tom did the very same thing when I started asking too many questions. He'd rush out to buy me flowers and he'd take me to my favorite restaurant all while telling me that he'd never use anything illicit again. I believed him because I was the one who needed to hear those words, even if my logical mind was telling me that they weren't true.

  "I can tell when Asher is lying to me." He blinks, and then looks directly at me. "He wasn't lying when he promised me he wouldn't break his sobriety."

  "I believe that too," I say as I turn to look back out the window. "Asher is out there somewhere. We just have to find him."

  ***

  "We still have that house in the Hamptons." Gabriel walks towards an oak cabinet situated on the far side of the room. "My parents never split it up in the divorce. No one has been there in years but I remember how much you loved going there when you were a kid."

  I did love it. It was the highlight of my summer. My brother and I would hop in the Foster's car with them and travel to their beautiful home in the Hamptons. We'd spend three glorious weeks there, feeling as though we'd both won the lottery. We were treated to boat rides, swimming, tennis and all the personal chef prepared food we could stomach. I always felt like a Princess when we arrived and I'd feel a terrible sense of loss once the vacation was over and we returned home.

  "I haven't thought about that house in years. You never go there?"

  He pulls open one of the drawers on the cabinet. His hand dips inside. "I don't have time. You should stop there on your way back from Martha's Vineyard. It's close."

  "No." I shake my head wishing I hadn't mentioned my brief work trip when we spoke on the phone last night. "It would feel strange to go there after all this time."

  He waves a set of keys in the air. "It would give you a break from everything that's been going on here. Take the keys, Rowan. If you feel like stopping there tomorrow, do it."

  I stare at the key fob. "I'll take them but I doubt I'll go there. I want to get back to help you and Caleb find Asher."

  "I'm not sure how much help Caleb is going to be." His voice cracks. "I called him an hour ago and he was in a meeting. He brushed me off."

  "Was it about shirts?" I ask half-jokingly.

  "Shirts?" He scowls. "No. Caleb hasn't been in the office in more than a week."

  "What?"

  "I had a mess to clean up when I got back." He motions towards the door. "I need to go back in to the office tonight."

  "What's Caleb been doing? Where has he been?"

  "I have no idea." He pushes the keys to the Hamptons house into my palm as he scoops up another set. "I'll ride down in the elevator with you. I'll call you as soon as I know anything."

  Chapter 25

  "I said that I'm here to see Caleb." I push past Ruby who is surprisingly weak considering she looks like a miniature football player in expensive heels.

  "He's busy, Rhonda." Her hand leaps to my shoulder. "If you'll wait in the foyer, I'll see if he has a minute for you."

  "It's Rowan." I spin back on my heel to pronounce my name slowly. "I'm going to find him. I know he's here."

  I actually don't know that. It's more of an assumption than anything. I'd tried texting Caleb twice but I'd gotten no response and then I'd called. It rang at least seven times before it hit voicemail, which tells me that he didn't even glance at the screen. I've called him before when he's been consumed with work and each of those times, he's hit the ignore button in short order. This time is different.

  "You can't just walk through his apartment."

  "Yes, I can," I spit back defiantly. "You need to let go of my arm now."

  Her eyes dart to the closed door of the library. Each time I see that door I have to chuckle to myself. Caleb may like to collect old books to display on the shelves, but he never reads them. Typically when I stop by, I'll scoop up a few to take home to read in bed. I always bring them back. I've teased him more than once about that room being my own personal library.

  "Thanks for the heads-up." I nod in her direction as I swing open the heavy wooden double doors.

  "Rowan?" Caleb catches sight of me the moment I step into the room. "What the hell are you doing here?"

  I should take offense at the greeting. I won't though. I've caught him in the middle of something. I can tell by the panicked look on his face. I've never been a 'gotcha' type of woman. Caleb owes me nothing but the woman standing next to him looks guilty as hell. The moment my eyes rake over her I see why. The bright, brilliant and very large diamond ring on her left hand speaks of a commitment that should be keeping her from standing alone in rooms with an incredibly handsome and sexually insatiable single man. "I need to talk to you, Caleb."

  "What is it? What's wrong?"

  I take in the muted fear in his tone as my eyes scan the room before they settle on a framed photograph. It's black and white and sitting atop a table. I stare at it, soaking in its meaning and value to him. It has to be important for him to display it out in the open like this. I instantly wonder why I've never seen it before.

  "Rowan? Are you okay? What's happened?"

  I pull my gaze up to meet his just as my eyes fill with tears. "Caleb," I whisp
er his name softly.

  "Get out, Sonia," he says harshly as his eyes lock on mine. "Leave."

  I take a step to the side wanting to cower away from his anger.

  "Caleb, I…" the woman starts to speak. "I don't understand."

  "You need to leave now." His hand flies into the air. "You have to go."

  I don't break his gaze as I sense movement beside me. I listen to her footsteps as she walks briskly out of the library closing the doors behind her.

  "Tell me what's wrong?" His hand leaps to my chin. "Tell me why you're upset."

  I shift my body to the right, look past his shoulder and focus on the picture of Caleb and me on the day I graduated from high school. He's staring at me, I'm smiling into the camera and there's absolutely no denying the raw emotion on both of our faces.

  "You have a picture of us." I nod towards the table.

  He turns quickly to grab a look before he rubs both his hands over his face. "It was an important day. I wanted a remembrance."

  "Why were you there?" It's a question I've never asked before. The day was jubilant and filled with raucous celebration. I'd graduated at the top of my senior class. I'd been accepted to the college of my choice and I was dating the captain of the debate team. The fact that Caleb had come home from college to witness my graduation didn't hit me until right this very minute. "Why were you there?"

  He pulls on the collar of the dark sweater he's wearing. "Our families were close, Bell. I wanted to support you."

  "You were the only Foster there." I glance at the picture again. "No one else came. Only you."

  "They wanted to come," he says sheepishly. "They all wanted to be there but they were busy."

  Even Asher, who I saw on an almost daily basis back then, had made other plans. "You came though. I didn't come to your graduation."

  He stares at me. His eyes briefly fall to the floor before they level back on my face. "I came because I had to. I came because there is no one on this earth who matters more to me than you."

  Chapter 26

  The words he just spoke should only hold one meaning. If you've kissed a man and he's brought you intense pleasure with the gentle stroke of his fingers, you want those words to mean that he aches to be with you. You want them to capture the essence of what is in his heart. I want Caleb Foster to love me. I've always wanted that. Right now, listening to him tell me that I matter more to him than anyone else, I want that to translate to him pushing me against the wall, kissing me until my breath falls into him and making love to me in a way that binds us together forever.

  "I was proud of you." His head tilts to the side as he studies my face. "I'm still proud of you. You're killing it over at Corteck."

  I bite my bottom lip to stave off the urge to push him more about how much I matter to him. "I like my job. Clive is good to me."

  "When you went after a business degree I thought you'd come work for us." He shifts on his feet as he gazes back at the photograph of the two of us. "It's always felt like you're part of the family. It didn't make sense when you went to work for him."

  It didn't make immediate sense to me either. Foster Industries is an umbrella company that houses many divisions. The fashion brands are just two of their endeavors. They have a new lingerie brand, a blossoming home accessory line and they're moving into the app business. I would fit in perfectly there save for the fact that my friendship with the brothers would inevitably suffer if we all worked together. The destruction within their family is proof enough of that.

  "I wanted to make it on my own. I needed to make it on my own." I cross my arms over my chest in a defiant gesture. "My career success is because of me and no one else."

  He wrings his hands together. "Mine is because of my family. Everything I have I owe to them."

  "You work hard," I offer because I know it's a fact. Caleb normally puts more hours in at the office than even I do, which says a lot. "Your parents put the wheels in motion. You and your brothers took the business to the next level."

  "Gabriel and I did," he subtly corrects me. "I don't think it was ever Asher's thing. He loved his music. We didn't support him in that."

  Asher has been writing music since we were teenagers. I'd sometimes hear the soft sounds of his guitar floating through the open window of his bedroom and into mine during the warm months of the year. I'd often lie in my bed at night, with the gentle wind whipping my sheer curtains about while I drifted off listening to Asher's raspy voice singing the songs he'd written.

  "He loves his music." I rub my fingers over my brow. "Maybe once he gets back, he can focus on that more."

  "You have no doubt at all that he'll be back, do you?" His eyes plead with me to confirm that even though his voice is steady and unwavering.

  "I trust that he'll find his way back here."

  "I'm worried." He crosses his arms over his chest before reaching up to run his hand over his chin. "I'm worried I won't get another chance to make things right with him."

  "Asher knows you love him." I take a step closer to him.

  "He has secrets." His hands fall to his sides. "His life is filled with secrets."

  "What?" I ask softly as a shiver runs through me. I don't want him to tell me that Asher has started using drugs again. I can't shoulder that right now after marching around for days telling everyone that he'd never use again. "What secrets?"

  "That woman that just left," he begins as he waves his hand towards the closed door of the library. "That woman knows Asher."

  I push myself back to the moment when I first barged into the library. I was too focused on asking Caleb what he'd been doing that I hadn't paid any attention to the woman other than the fact that she was obviously engaged or married. "How does she know him?"

  "Asher is her brother-in-law."

  ***

  "Asher is married?" I'm sitting next to Caleb on a small sofa that rests against the back wall of the library. "How is Asher married?"

  "He's not," he clarifies with a deep sigh. "He was. It was annulled a few weeks after he got out of rehab."

  "Who was he married to?" The question is as foreign as the thought of Asher being married.

  "Someone he met in rehab. Her name was Karen. They got married the day he left the facility."

  I hadn't wanted to crowd Asher after he'd been released so I had waited until he reached out to me. It was weeks later and by then he was immersed in his work with his brothers. I'd asked about rehab but he had only offered meager facts about the program and therapy.

  "Why didn't he say anything?"

  He looks directly at me. "I wish I knew the reason. I wish I knew what the hell he was thinking."

  "Have you talked to the woman? Karen? Have you spoken to her about Asher?" It's an obvious question but it's one I have to ask.

  "I've been trying to locate her all week." He pulls his smartphone from his pocket. "I've been on this thing day and night trying to track her down. I finally found her sister yesterday."

  "That's the woman I saw when I came in?" I look at the screen of his phone. "Does she know where Asher is?"

  "Her name is Sonia." He shakes his head slightly as he twirls the phone in his palm. "She lives in Vegas. She wouldn't tell me anything unless I flew her and her husband out here."

  "What?" I twist towards him on the sofa. "I don't understand."

  "She knows how much Asher is worth," he starts before he leans back. "She knows how much we're all worth. She wants money before she'll tell me anything about her sister."

  I roll my eyes as I try to piece together what he just told me. "Do you think she actually knows anything about where he is?"

  "I think that I'd pay anyone anything at this point just to see my brother again."

  Chapter 27

  "Why did you let her walk out of here?" I ask quietly. "You should have told me who she was when I walked in."

  He turns towards me. His eyes are a dark mask covering everything that is lurking beneath the surface of his thoughts and em
otions. "You were upset, Rowan. I can't think straight when you're upset."

  I close my eyes in a desperate attempt to shield myself from his words. "You can't say things like that to me anymore."

  "What?" His hand darts to my bare knee. I'd thought about going home to change into comfortable clothes after work but I had wanted to see Gabriel so much that I'd raced to his apartment still dressed in the white and blue dress I wore to work. Now, sitting next to Caleb with his skin touching mine, I feel completely underdressed yet again.

  I don't want to wander off the track that we're on. Finding Asher is the only thing that matters at this point. The fact that I'm still emotionally reeling from what happened in my bed can't factor into anything. I have to push that aside and get my mind back into the game.

  "Tell me what's going on?" He squeezes my knee and I instinctively pull it away.

  "Nothing is going on," I try to say convincingly. "I'm worried about Asher. Did she say anything to you about where he might be before I got here?"

  "She didn't." He half-shrugs. "She started talking about money the minute she walked through the door. The woman knows how to negotiate."

  "Don't you have people who can track her sister down?" I ask curtly. "You don't need her to give you that information, do you?"

  "The private investigator I hired is following up with all of that. Sonia is the direct method. She can give me everything I need."

  I nod. I know that it's true. I don't live in a world filled with excess and luxury but I know, based strictly on how Clive conducts his business, that money opens doors that otherwise would be impenetrable. If Caleb can use some of what the brothers have worked so hard for, to help find Asher, it's a no-brainer.

  "I want her to tell you where Asher is." I push myself up from the sofa. "I think you should go find her and ask her where he is."