Accustomed

by Kyra Gregory

  “Wait,” Kara called, springing to her feet not a moment later.

  Sybelle looked over her shoulder, raising her brows at her. Seeing that she still wanted to speak, sinking back into her chair and looking to Sybelle’s, she returned to her place to continue with their discussion. They fell into silence while Kara’s gaze shifted to the table. While her immediate assumption was that she’d struck a nerve, sitting back and watching her, Sybelle concluded that her desire to continue with negotiations came more from her loyalty to the pirates than anything else. “The father is a good man,” Kara started, glancing in Sybelle’s direction to see her reaction.

  Sybelle raised an eyebrow, “A pirate,” she said.

  “But a good man,” Kara said, her hands clenching around the armrests of her chair. “Not sure I can expect you to understand that.”

  No, she imagined she wouldn’t, Sybelle thought. Pirates were a threat to every business owner who relied on sea trade in one way or another, they were a thorn in the side of every ruler who hoped to conduct themselves well with other nobles, always struck with the fear that important diplomats would be set upon by pirates in their journey towards orchestrating deals and negotiations. Sybelle held her face in her hand, her gaze softening at the hint of vulnerability in the other girl’s eyes, “Try me,” she whispered.

  Again, her gaze dropped and Sybelle struggled to see what emotions the pirate had finally allowed herself to feel. “I was married once, before all this,” she said.

  Sybelle relaxed in her seat, taking a deep breath before whispering, “I take it that it did not go well.”

  Kara looked in the direction of the soldier. Sybelle didn’t understand until Kara turned back to her, her tan skin flushing a shade darker as she sunk her fingers into the neckline of her shirt, lowering it just enough to expose the curve of her right breast. There, in the dim glimmer of the moonlight and the candle on the table, Sybelle could make out a mess of scars etched into her flesh. “It said ‘whore’ for the longest time,” she said, with a cracking of emotion in her voice, bringing Sybelle’s attention back to her eyes as they started to glisten. Kara covered her chest up once more, snapping her gaze out to the sea, “It said ‘whore’ until the day that I could tell myself that I was not and that I could put a knife to my own skin and remove it,” she said.

  It began to make sense. The disrespect shown towards her upon her arrival to Lionessa was reminiscent of her past. A past that, by the looks of it, Kara had submitted herself to the sea to get away from.

  “And the father of your child?” Sybelle asked, her voice quiet and soft. “Do you love him? Does he love you?”

  Kara’s lips twitched into the faintest hint of a smile and the way her lashes fluttered shut for a second alluded to her femininity in a way that little had before. “It’s the closest thing to love that I’ve ever known,” she said. “It’s because of him that I’ve been able to move beyond everything in the past.”

  Sybelle felt herself warm at the thought. If only she could say the same for herself. She hung her head, asking, “And your husband?”

  “He was wounded the night I left with the pirates,” Kara whispered, dropping her gaze, “but he still lives in the south of Evrad, last I heard.”

  “Are you not concerned he will lay claim to your child when it is born?”

  Kara dropped her gaze to her knife on the table and Sybelle did the same. “I’m not concerned about very much these days,” she said. “Only, that you’re right; that the sea is no place to raise a child.”

  “Your child may also be considered illegitimate,” Sybelle remarked, “barring him or her from many opportunities.” It wasn’t something Kara hadn’t thought about. It was clear that, even as young of a girl as she was, she knew of all the consequences to her actions. She leaned forward in her seat, perching her chin upon her open palm, “I meant what I said, Kara,” she started, “I want allies. If you help me then I’ll help you.” Kara cocked her head to the side, intrigued by her words. “If you convince the others to go through with this proposal you will have a place for you to raise your child in peace; I can think of far worse places to raise a child than under my rule, my protection, in Azura.”

  “The Azurians won’t accept us,” Kara insisted, scoffing. “Azurians, men of trade, and pirates, thieves of trade, have been enemies for years and that sort of bad blood won’t simply disappear,” she said. Kara’s hands began to shake and she dropped them into her lap, or onto her stomach, Sybelle couldn’t tell, to hide them. “You propose a dream to me, one that I wish nothing more than to make a reality, but it’s not possible,” she whispered.

  “I want you to try,” Sybelle said, a hint of regret in her tone as she forced her desires on her. “I’ll do my part with the Azurians to see to it that they are kept in line. In the meantime, I want you to do the same with your people,” she said. She licked her lips, her desires so close that she could practically taste them. She inched forward, “If you can do that, if you can do that for just a single year, I’ll annul your marriage to your husband, leaving you free to marry your lover and make your child a legitimate heir to him.” Kara recoiled, staring at her with wide eyes. Though Sybelle thought that to have been enough to win over Kara’s efforts, she persisted, “And, if you’re so certain that the alliance between pirates and Azurians won’t hold, I’ll offer you a home anywhere in Lionessa, or Evrad, if you so desire it.”

  Kara remained still, unmoving for some time. She sat there, taking in Sybelle’s words and staring her in the eye as though trying to fish to the very depths of her soul for the honesty behind her words. “From one woman to another,” Kara said, “do you truly mean what you say?”

  Sybelle smiled, her heart swelling with the prospect of hope, of trust, of an alliance, “I’m tired of fighting, Kara. All I want now is to see my people, all of them, to a happy life. I’m not out to create more wars, only to strengthen all that I have so that I’ll never be confronted again.”

  “And... one year,” Kara started, almost disbelieving that she was allowing herself to make such an agreement with her. “Is that also true?”

  Sybelle nodded, “You and I want for the same things,” she said, “more than you know. It’s as I said; if this works, we will both get what we want.”

  Kara nodded. That was it. On their way down the tall tower of the Lionessan wall, she gave her word to try her utmost to convince Kieren of her proposal. Sybelle hadn’t a single doubt in her mind about it when the young woman’s voice was filled with tremors of fear that the hopeful future that she’d suddenly constructed in her mind would all fall apart and come to nothing.

  As the doors and gate opened Sybelle clasped Kara’s hand in hers, her fingers warm and shaking. Kara jumped, startled at the touch, and withdrew her hand. As Kara’s eyes blazed with an unintentional defensiveness, Sybelle could see what years of mistreatment and fending for herself had done.

  Out onto the sandy beaches of the Lionessan shore, Kara trudged back to those that awaited her with the parchment of the proposal in hand. Gyles, having been seated on a barrel with a drink in hand, stood to join Sybelle at her side once more with not even a momentary resistance from the pirates.

  “You’re unharmed?” Sybelle asked in a whisper, never taking her eyes off her potential allies as they deliberated her proposal.

  “I’m unharmed,” he confirmed with a short smile.

  “You seem to have gained quite the respect from them,” she whispered, nodding towards the chalice in his hand.

  “And them from me,” Gyles retorted, taking a sip to drink. “How did it go with her?”

  Kieren turned away from Kara, his face having largely been hidden by the shadows. Now, touched by the light of the orange flames, he looked as stubborn as he’d stood before her earlier. “We are about to find out,” Sybelle whispered, taking steps forward to meet the Pirate Captain.

  “I’m sure you’re confident in your proposal,” Kieren started, glancing around as he crossed h
is muscular arms over his chest.

  “Quite confident,” Sybelle replied, smiling. “What do you think of it?”

  “How do I know you won’t turn on us?”

  Sybelle shrugged her shoulders, “How do I know you won’t turn on me either?” She hung her head, smiling, “It’s as I said to your friend there,” she said, “I have very little interest in betraying others. I feel this proposal is mutually beneficial. If it fails, we both fail. If it succeeds, it’s an increase in business and profits for me, an increase in profits for you and your men, and one less enemy in each other to hunt down.”

  “I’m aware of the advantages,” Kieren said, his voice as gruff as usual despite the smokey breath of amusement in it. “We accept your proposal.”

  Sybelle’s smile grew wide and she nodded cheerfully, tucking her hair behind her ears. “That is wonderful news,” she said. She took a step closer, extending her hand to the Captain, “I look forward to a long and healthy alliance,” she said.

  Kieren looked at her wearily but, after a moment of deliberation and stares from his men, he grasped her hand with a strength that she thought he couldn’t control.

  With that, Sybelle bid them a good night, assuring them that she would speak to them once more in the morning before they would prepare to depart for Azura. She shared a single glance with Kara and, while Sybelle would’ve loved to think that she’d left a positive mark on the woman’s life, she could only think that she looked all the more fearful and uncertain of the path she’d just placed herself and her newfound family on.

  The doors closed behind her and Gyles and her shoulders slackened with relief as a great weight seemed to remove itself from her.

  “I’m curious,” Sybelle started, on her way up the steps of the castle, eager to place her head on a pillow beside Deros. She turned to Gyles with an uneasy smile inching onto her lips, crossing her arms against her chest as she adjusted her cloak over her shoulders. “How did you know that Kara was carrying a child?”

  Gyles smirked, slipping his hands into his pockets as he went to walk past her, “I know of no man or woman, fugitive or not, who commits themselves to a life at sea when they suffer such violent bouts of sea sickness,” he said.

  Sybelle laughed, and laughed a lot, following him down the halls. Gyles looked over his shoulder at her with raised brows, confused. She shook her head, placing her hand over her wide smile. “We must talk in the morning,” she said. She left down the corridor on that note, slipping into the medical quarters on the tips of her toes and leaving Gyles alone. She took a seat beside Deros. His breathing was heavy, noisy, and not without difficulty. She placed a hand onto his chest with care, as though willing the pain away from him. He stirred a little, looking at her through half-lidded eyes. They said nothing. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. Deros did his best to shuffle himself to one side of the bed and Sybelle laid herself down beside him, draping an arm across his stomach before sinking into much-needed slumber that had evaded her for days.

  CHAPTER 20

  SYBELLE NEVER NEEDED to be told what heartbreak felt like. She never needed to witness its doings on the lives of others because it was so easy to look at its influence on her own. Still, there was something about watching Gyles grieve Dreyny’s death, standing over his grave, cross-armed and, no doubt, talking to him within his mind, that had her captivated and scared that he didn’t grieve anywhere near the same way that she did. He’d been there for some time, just as long as she’d stood there, watching him from a distance. She would never be comfortable with his distance from her ever since Dreyny’s death. He claimed, time and time again, that his distance from Lionessa would do him good but, looking at him now, watching as that spark in him joined Dreyny in his grave more and more each day, she wasn’t convinced of that in the slightest.

  She picked up her dress and tiptoed through the grass to join the path to the cemetery behind the palace, making her way towards him as discreetly as possible. She stopped a few paces behind him only because he noticed her, kissing the tips of his fingers and then laying them atop the headstone while turning to face her. He said nothing, stopping beside her to thread his arm through hers.

  “I’ll contact your acquaintance in Evrad,” Sybelle said, “perhaps we can get his brother’s body. The least we can do is bury them side-by-side.”

  “Don’t bother,” Gyles said, sighing.

  Sybelle hung her head. There was no point in arguing with him. She was sure he had his reasons but she didn’t think it appropriate to pry. She would make the attempt without his knowledge; if she were to fail, then there would be no need for him to know.

  “Are you certain you wish to leave again so soon?” Sybelle asked, looking up at him as they walked. “You can stay a little while longer.”

  “I cannot,” Gyles said, mustering a smile. “I’m invested in this alliance we’ve created with the pirates. I would see to it that it flourishes to the best of our ability. With that, my place is in Azura.”

  Sybelle nodded, allowing herself to smile, “Your talents are suited for the role required there,” she said.

  “I’ll see it it that our agreements hold, and that theirs do too,” he said.

  “Do you foresee any troubles?” Sybelle asked, uncertain.

  “No plan is without troubles,” Gyles remarked, shooting a glance and smirk in her direction. “But no, I don’t foresee any problems, not as of yet,” he said.

  Sybelle let go of him, moving to stand in his path. She reached for his hands and clasped them in hers, staring at them for a few moments, standing in silence, before she could bring herself to look at him. He knew what was on her mind. Rather than stare at her with confusion, he did so with a soft, sympathetic gaze that, no doubt, held pity. “Are you truly certain you wish to leave again?” Gyles pursed his lips together, nodding. “And,” she started, uncertainly, “are you sure you aren’t just running away?”

  Gyles let go of her hands, slipping his around her waist and drawing her into his chest. “No,” he said, “I’m not sure of that.” He held her cheek with a caring hand, brushing his thumb back and forth against her tense jaw, “But running away is the best thing for me,” he whispered into her hair, unable to look at her. “It’s the only thing that feels right to me.”

  “Does standing at my side not feel right to you?” she asked, withdrawing in his arms, staring up at him with her tear-filled eyes.

  “You no longer need me at your side,” he said, his smile growing wider in spite of the sorrow that speaking those words brought him.

  She pulled back her tears, stiffening her features as she lifted her head up high, asking, “And you? Do you no longer need me at your side?”

  “Your company has always meant the world to me,” he said, echoing words he’d spoken to her thousands of times before. He chuckled at her unwavering sadness, making light of the situation when she felt nothing but dread at his impending departure. He took her hands again and she wanted nothing more than to resist him, knowing that his touch would only remind her of what it was that she was about to lose. But looking down at his hands were also a reminder of what he’d lost. On his ring finger, on his left hand, he wore a new gold band. Gyles had left her shortly after they returned to the Capital, not returning until late. He was wearing the ring upon his return, fiddling with it, created from the three that Dreyny had saved as payment for his brother. Gyles had never forgotten Dreyny and she was certain he never would. Dreyny was dead, never to be seen again until the day that Gyles met him in the afterlife. Why did she think that she, living and well, would so easily be forgotten by a man with such a heart?

  She kissed the back of his hands, kissing the ring and brushing her thumb over it. “You cannot forget me,” she said, her voice cracking. “You must come and visit. Plenty. As often as you see possible.”

  Gyles laughed and pulled her into his chest before she could make a remark about the tears in his own eyes. “You need only send me a letter and ask
for a visit,” he said, “and I’ll drop everything to be at your side.”

  Sybelle laughed, withdrawing from his embrace and brushing the tears on her cheeks with the tips of her shaking fingers. “I’m a Queen,” she said, a playful smile on her lips, “and you mustn’t disobey me.”

  Gyles took her arm and started them back on the path to the palace, “And that is precisely the legacy I’ll be sure to breed life into in Azura.”

  As they circled the palace walls, Sybelle rested her head against his shoulder and enjoyed his warmth. “You’ve yet to tell me about your time in Evrad,” she said. “You’ve been very vague.”

  “I’ve been vague because there’s very little to say,” Gyles countered. “In any case, I leave for Lionessa’s shores this evening; there is no time for that.”

  “But there is time to dine with me, I hope,” she said. Gyles chuckled, nodding.

  On the steps of palace, enjoying the freedom that came with the closure of the Capital for yet another day, Deros sat back on his elbow, clutching his ribs as he watched Neyva frolic and dance. He watched her in silence, a content smile tugging at his lips.

  Sybelle looked to Gyles and, with that, they walked towards him. In doing so, Neyva stopped, slowly inching her way across the square to join her father. It was when she was there, curled up in his side and seated on the step, that Deros saw the two approaching. He got to his feet, a simple task that still appeared strenuous even after a few days. Still, he’d been stubborn, refusing to stay in bed any longer than he had to. He still looked nothing like the man she’d first met. Even so, she couldn’t help looking at him, that sullen face of angular features and woeful amber eyes, and think that she was just as in love with him as she was the night everything changed. He ran his fingers through Neyva’s hair with a tenderness that she’d only come to see from him as of late. Neyva stood close beside him, tucked behind his leg, and he inched away, enough to look down at her and touch her chin, “Go, play,” he said, giving a gentle command with a rough voice.