All of These Things

by De Mattea, Anna

  “Where’s the other one? I saw someone else in here. Find her upstairs and tie her up, too.”

  Sofie.

  I sob, trying to move violently about but pose no threat to the dark eyes gawking down at me.

  “Shit. You’re a gorgeous one. Fuck me, you’re hot,” he says holding a long, vicious stare.

  I try yelling, but my exertions are futile. I’m weary and paralyzed by fear and wine.

  “There’s no one else here. Tie this one up and let’s roll,” the taller, more robust invader instructs his partner.

  “Get a head start upstairs. I want a few minutes with blondie first.”

  “We don’t have all night. Find a purse, some jewellery, and let’s get the fuck out.”

  “I said start without me! This one’s calling my name, aren’t you, blondie? Fuck you’re really something special.”

  Behind the gag, I make throaty shrills. I’m unable to reach a phone or any petty object to fight back. I twist and thrash, and the intruder pulls me across the room by my hair. His knee connects with my chest, forcing me onto the sofa. The back of my head hits hard against the arm rest. I feel my stomach rise, and I choke on its bitter acid.

  “One way or another, blondie I’m gonna fuck you, so stop kicking, bitch.”

  I’m like a terrorized doe in headlights as I watch him loosen his pants. They drop to his knees, and he takes no chances with my shorts, dragging them down and yanking them off at my feet. My sandals are lost in them with my underwear. I try lashing out with my legs, managing to kick his chest and face. I moan and whimper.

  My head is heavy, raided with thoughts. I want Sofie returning to the house close enough to detect that’s something’s off, but I don’t want her anywhere inside.

  Please, somebody. Help me.

  “You don’t listen, blondie. Don’t fight me, bitch! Stop kicking.”

  His hand claws around my neck, and it presses my head deep into the sofa. My abdomen constricts, and I can’t breathe. My lungs expel a cough. My upper body is overcome but my legs don’t quit. His other arm slides around my waist heaving me to his pelvis and his vile, disgusting flesh is against mine.

  Oh, God. Please, no! Please don’t rape me. I’d rather die.

  I’m so weak, and my breath is trapped and fading.

  “I’ll let you breathe so I can see your tits,” he says, releasing my throat to dig his hand under my top. I sense the mask hides a demented smile, and my chest recovers from the throttlehold.

  “Fuck, blondie. I can come just looking at you.”

  From above, two arms pull the attacker off my exhausted body. He’s hauled back, and my rescuer strikes and tackles him against a wall. The console and frames are caught in the battle, toppling over. My saviour is nimble and obviously a skilled fighter. I’m breathing heavily, trembling and panic-stricken when I recognize my knight in shining armor. I reconcile that sweet salvation has arrived for me.

  Alecsander.

  He heads for the man bolting down the white stairway who makes a failed attempt to leave the house. With my hands still fastened behind me, my legs fidget, endeavouring to slide a throw cover over my naked form. I’m utterly depleted.

  Alec restrains the men, calling for help before rushing to my side. He unties the gag and releases my hands. At last I can properly veil my body.

  His palms press against my cheeks, and his grey-blue eyes empty themselves into mine. They sear a moment longer and then he stands, flashing across the room to return to the trespassers. They’re barely moving, but they’re not dead. Their breathing is dim, and I can see the slight rise and fall of their chests. What are they doing in this town? These things don’t happen in a place like this. We should be going to bed with our doors unlocked.

  Alec affronts them. He growls insults and at the same time remembers to check in on me. He makes another call demanding an update if help’s been dispatched. Siren lights hit the windows, and finally we hear a car advancing towards the house.

  Next to Sofie, I sit numb and dazed on a loveseat. It’s after 3:00 am, and Alec and Jay escort the sheriffs out before returning to our sides. Alec recovers the spills and evidence from the fight, and Jason offers water and Advil, which I accept. I’m fully clothed with a blanket over my shoulders, and Sofie’s looking around the room, biting her nails and stroking my hair.

  They watched us, waiting for the right moment to move in, and even succeeded with most of their plan. Sheriff McBride said it was an easy, common plot, and thank God it was only almost flawless. It was probably all for drug money, and they knew the signs of a vulnerable house. He’ll call us sometime in the morning with procedures, and hopefully more definite information on the men they towed out of here.

  “Are you sure the asshole didn’t go any further?” Sofie asks, suddenly breaking the silence.

  “Yeah,” I say. “I’m sure. Alec came in at the perfect time.” I look fondly over to him. I hope he knows how grateful I am.

  A curl of his lips tells me he does.

  “I may take a hot bath before bed, but I’m not sure I can fall asleep. So what do you say, Care... slumber party? I won’t punch you in the face like when we were kids. It’s a king size bed.”

  I look to Jay, and suddenly I’m desperate he stays the night with us.

  “Aren’t you staying over?” I ask.

  “I’ll sleep down here, or in one of the other rooms,” he reassures.

  I admire how resilient Sofie is with all that’s transpired. She takes the pressure off a bad situation with ease.

  “Yeah, okay. That sounds good,” I say, attempting a courageous answer, doing my part to lighten the tension.

  Barefoot, she meanders slowly to the back of the couch and kisses the top of my head.

  “Thanks, Alec. We owe you our lives. I mean that. Don’t go. Stay in a spare room and get some rest,” she says. I don’t think I’ve ever heard such an earnest request from her before.

  “Of course. Good night, Sofie.”

  Jason squeezes my shoulder before following Sofie upstairs. Alec moves to occupy her seat next to mine, leaving sufficient leg room between us. I’m agitated, repeatedly flexing my fingers and making fists. I’m embarrassed, knowing he saw bits of my writhing, naked body. I feel inert and dizzy with confusion. Things could have been worse. Things could have spiraled into disastrous circumstances.

  “Tell me again why you came back here,” I beseech.

  “Truthfully?”

  “Yes.”

  “I was restless. I was too disquiet for sleep and contemplated returning here to ask you for a walk. Needless to say, I’m very glad I did.”

  His revelation calms me, but I know I should be more alarmed.

  “If memory serves me correctly, Sofie drinks her coffee out on the porch every morning. So, I also thought you could find this when you joined her,” he says, standing abruptly and treading into the kitchen. He returns with a paper, rolled and tied with string.

  “What’s this?”

  “From me to you.”

  “For me? Really?”

  “Of course. But show me some compassion, love. I didn’t exactly have ample time to make it completely worthy. But I will. In the future, I will.”

  Future. I’m beyond curious, sliding the cord off and stretching the paper out. It’s a sketch; a beautiful drawing of... me.

  “Is this—”

  “You? Yes,” he cuts in. “You were radiant by the fire, and while I debated returning here, I drew the lovely siren I had the pleasure of meeting tonight.” He points to the sketch. “You might as well have been the only scenery, Caroline.”

  I’m flooded with warmth, and I’m suddenly aware of my heartbeat, as though it’s in my ears. He’s enchanting. I don’t remember ever describing a man as such, but Alecsander allures me. I’m enthralled, and his charm is arresting
and commands attention.

  “This is beautiful,” I say. “She’s too pretty to be me, Alec. You’re imagining things.”

  “I didn’t imagine enough. You are even more unforgettable than I ever perceived.”

  I’m mindful of his accent, again. He’s handsome, yes. Quite handsome, actually. But he’s also eloquent, talented, and sensitive in a rough, unpolished way. Hardly unkempt, his appeal is a tousled display of simplicity and a sophisticated gentleman. I can’t look at him for too long, and I’m bothered by how he can hold a gaze.

  “You must be tired, love.”

  “You’d think, right? I’m not, though. I suppose it’s the adrenaline,” I say, and manage a laugh. “Alec, there was this period of time—albeit a short one—that my mother would leave me home alone and sometimes she forgot to come back at night, but nothing ever happened to me. And, here, tonight—where everything’s calm and beautiful—I’m attacked and almost raped or even killed.”

  He shudders. Alec leans forward placing his forearms over the tops of his legs.

  “I was too tired and shocked to understand or react. You changed my fate, Alec. You and this drawing. You saved me. Thank you.” I’m practically whispering, and his head turns towards me. He gulps, and I see his eyes widen at my indebtedness as if uncomfortable.

  “I’m glad I was here, Caroline. Do you need anything else?”

  “No, and Sofie wants me up there. Plus, I really have to go and dunk my body in bleach.” My voice quakes, choked with tears.

  “Alright. Sweet dreams, then. I’m here if you need me.”

  “Sweet dreams, Alec.” I raise the furled gift, pressing it against my heart. “I love the drawing. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Caroline.”

  Chapter Seven

  My eyes flutter open, wishing for the middle of the night instead of early afternoon. Besides a lingering headache, my arms and shoulders are painfully sensitive, and the rest of my body is tender. I close my eyes again to adjust my vision and adapt to the streaming sunlight coming from the master bathroom. It’s fairly dark and quiet in here, and I know Sofie isn’t next to me anymore.

  College kids.

  They were monstrous amateurs cruising the town and causing havoc. But they planned it so well. They watched us gathering outside and selected our house as their pit stop. I summon my muscles to work together, mustering my limbs and head to rise from the cushy, warm bed. Who am I fooling? I’m deprived of energy, but my coherence is urged on by basic logic. A hot bath can relax this tension, although my will is drained by an encumbering headache. I defeat it, walking unsteadily to the main bathroom in the hall.

  My toiletries have marked the space as my personal territory, and it’s perfect because I’ve always admired clawfoot bathtubs. I run hot water from a pretty, vintage-semblance faucet and gather my essentials for relaxation. Its Sofie’s recipe—lavender seeds, rose and almond oils. I gully out a pressing bladder as I wait for the tub to fill, doing away with my nightwear for a short, terrycloth robe.

  Pushing the memories to the far end of my mind, I manage through the motions. Recalling the break-in stirs further anxiety and panic. The events induce a gag, making me retch. I’m overcome by the disgusting reality that I was assaulted, and I wish the scenes replaying in my head are from some cop show. Finally, I’m touched by something else, submerged in a healing cloak of fragrant, liquid heat.

  I close my eyes quickly, but realize I can fall asleep and drown. I’ve never felt restless and numb at once. It’s a drowsy state of confusion, and my eyelids are heavy. It’s difficult to stay awake.

  “Shit. Caroline! You scared me.”

  What the hell.

  “I came up to check on you, but you were gone. Why didn’t you come down before taking a bath?” Sofie’s reprimanding voice is a jolt nudging me back to the present.

  “I don’t know. I figured you were somewhere downstairs. I heard clamouring from the kitchen and... I don’t know, Sofie. I just needed a bath.”

  “But you showered just before coming to bed.”

  Is there a water ration I’m unaware of?

  “So? I need a bath. I’m sore, and I still feel disgusting.”

  She moseys over to my side and sits on a plush bath rug. This was not what I had in mind. I haven’t treated the water with bubble bath, and I’m completely exposed. It’s spoiling my attempt for calm, and now I’m twitchy and agitated.

  “Please, Sofie. Do you mind? I need privacy. Could you go? I’m sorry I didn’t come down, but I’ll be there soon.”

  Oh, she is absolutely exasperating.

  It’s as though I didn’t say a word because Sofia-Marie makes herself more comfortable.

  “Sofie. Out!”

  “Oh, you’re such a baby. God, you can be such a prude. Fine! I’ll go. But at least you’re talking.”

  I flinch.

  “I’m out on the porch, and the coffee’s fresh.” She rises.

  She did not just say that. My inner child is roused, and she’s glowering daggers at me in a petulant huff of bad temper. No, I am not letting Sofie get away with that. Not this time, you can count on that.

  How dare she?

  Don’t I have enough to deal with today? Bath time is so over. I fly up and spring out of the tub, slipping on the robe and stomping to the staircase. I see her exactly where she said she would be.

  “You’re a real piece of work, you know that! How dare you? What exactly are you trying to insinuate, Sofie?”

  I watch her pull in a breath and release it straight away. Her lips press together, and her arms cross under her breasts.

  “What are you going on about?”

  I don’t notice Alec behind me during my rant until now. I move away from the threshold, allowing him to exit onto the porch.

  “Hello, Caroline. I hope you slept well.”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  My bare feet shuffle in place, and I’m embarrassed by my seething and somewhat childish display. I pull at the collar of my robe, assuring nothing escapes it, and my chest caves as I clear my throat.

  “I’m sorry. I forgot you were still here.”

  “I left earlier but returned just after one o’clock. May I bring you tea… or coffee?”

  “No, that’s alright. I’ll grab a cup on the way up,” I assert, turning on my heel and stalking off to the kitchen.

  I find a large mug in the cabinet above the coffee machine, prepare myself a cup, and snatch a banana from a bowl. As I march past the front door, Alec watches me head for the stairs.

  “Caroline, come out here!” Sofie yells from the porch swing. She hasn’t even budged—like I’m the one that’s in the wrong.

  “Later!” I holler back, looking forward to clothing my damp and almost naked body.

  I finish my fruit as I poke around in the drawers and head to the closet, choosing a belted paisley shirt dress. I wobble as I dress, and my movements make me lightheaded. I slip my feet into flip flops, and free my hair from a high ballerina bun. It’s not completely dry from my late night shower, but the subtle waves make it seem like I could have tended to it.

  I pat a faint, pink-bronze eyeshadow on my lids before applying lip gloss. My pout looks larger in luminous nude, and I imagine my mother challenging that. My alabaster skin is rosier than usual from yesterday’s tan, and I finish my coffee as I study my reflection.

  The colour drains from my face when the asshole’s words echo through my mind. I was so close to being totally violated. The idea that his voice will irk me until I die makes me sick and furious. But I’m in control of how far that goes. I am in control—not him, I repeat to myself. I must remember that, but for right now, I need to speak to Sofie and clear the air.

  I see her as I descend, composed and talking to Alec. He’s not in my vision, so I assume he’s still seated on t
he top step. The main door is ajar, and I approach it but stand immobilized behind the screen separator.

  “What happened to her was scary, Alec, and I just don’t want her pulling back,” she says. “Caroline spent a long time like that—in her own world—a bubble that just popped one day, and she slowly started talking again. How could I not worry that it wasn’t happening for a second time?”

  That sour taste in my throat is back. I should walk away to regain my composure, but I can’t move. My bottom lip and chin quiver, and I’m not sure if I’ll cry or scream. Maybe I need to do both.

  “How dare you!” I growl, heat flushing through my body. “You’re telling a stranger about my life. What business is it of his? I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you, Sofie! I’m so mad at you right now, I can’t even look at you. You’re such an inconsiderate bitch, sometimes.”

  Sobs trap in my throat, but my eyes gush uncontrollable tears. It feels like time has stopped, but at the same time, everything is on fast-forward, and the sound of my heart pumps in my ears.

  “Caroline?” Sofie walks cautiously to me. Alec is on his feet, too, and I’m humiliated.

  “Caroline, I was just worried. It was stupid, okay. Yes, I’m a stupid, inconsiderate bitch, but I swear I was worried. I’m still worried. This break-in messed me up, too, so I was nervous about what it could do to you. That’s all. I wasn’t betraying you. I wasn’t! I just needed to be sure I could help you deal with it.”

  “That was a long time ago, Sofie. I was five! It’s an entirely different situation, and you should know me well enough to have some faith in my reactions. I’m not as weak as you think.”

  There’s pounding in my head. I can feel the veins and vessels constricting as blood drives through them. I can’t do this. I can’t argue now. Oh my head. I want to rip it off my shoulders. I press at each side of my temples and feel like there’s no stable ground under my feet.

  “Look at me, Caroline,” Alec says, coming into view. “You’re dizzy, love. I think you should sit down.”

  “No, it’s just this blasted headache. Don’t worry, Sofie,” I say, looking up at her intently. “I’m not going mute.”