Long Road Home

by Stacey Lynn

  “I know it’s soon. I know it’s stupid of me to ask, but…”

  “Don’t.” It came out harsh and firm and so quick my mouth snapped shut. “Don’t ask that. Can’t give you that and I have no idea. Don’t force me to make that decision. Okay?”

  I picked up my glass of wine and started walking toward the living room, figuring he’d follow me. But I had to put my back to him.

  It felt like every time he spoke, another dagger of regret was shoved into my heart.

  I couldn’t lose it in front of him every time he hurt me. I deserved so much of it.

  Nine

  Jordan

  * * *

  Could I forgive her? It wasn’t even fair of her to ask me that question. Not now. Not yet. I still felt like I’d been a dick again when pain tightened her jaw like I’d slapped her.

  “Shit,” I muttered and grabbed another beer from the fridge. God knew I’d need one eventually.

  When I joined her in the living room, she was curled into a ball in one corner of the couch. Memories rushed me, like they did for so long when I walked into this house, but seeing her like that, a frightened little rabbit afraid I was going to take a vicious bite out of her? That stung.

  I wasn’t the one in the wrong here. I hadn’t done a damn thing except lash out at her, and frankly, she deserved it.

  “What do your next few days look like?” I asked. We had to move us past this and it had to be done before the weight of it crushed us all.

  “I was planning on packing. I have a meeting with the lawyer and realtor on Monday, but we were planning on leaving Tuesday, so…”

  “Thanks for staying. For offering that.”

  She hadn’t looked at me. The Xbox was still on and the menu screen grabbed her attention like the most fascinating thing in the world. “It’s best for Toby.”

  Speaking of. “I want to be able to see him without asking your permission all the time. And I’m not trying to be a dick by saying that, but I want that. I want that freedom with him.”

  “You have it. Whatever you want.” She looked at her glass of wine, eyes moving to it and widening like she forgot she was holding it and took a small sip. The thin stem grasped in her long fingers. God. Those fingers used to touch my knee or shove through my hair and drive me wild.

  Granted, I was a seventeen-year-old boy and my dick got hard at any touch, but with her, it had always been electric.

  “He mentioned you taking him to Rebecca’s. Asked if I could come. I told him I would, but I’m not sure that’s best.”

  “Talked to Rebecca earlier. She’s anxious to meet him.” She had a handful of colorful words to say about Destiny too, but I had shut that shit down. “She’ll be cool if you come.”

  Destiny laughed. I didn’t blame her. Rebecca had never made it easy for Destiny, but she wasn’t as bad as some. I never understood what everyone hated about her so much. So she came from shit. That wasn’t her problem.

  I figured most of the girls in school were jealous she was so much prettier and nicer than the rest of them and once she and I started dating, that jealousy jumped to super-bitch-girl levels.

  My parents had been worried she’d drag me down, keep me in Carlton doing something like working on cars instead of playing ball.

  I’d always thought we were stronger than all of that. Wasn’t the first time I’d been wrong.

  “Don’t you always get tired of having to defend and protect me?”

  I doubted she really wanted an answer. It didn’t stop me from replying. “Defending you and protecting you was never a hardship. I woulda done anything for you and all you had to do was ask. This crap is going to hit us, but I want to move on from it. And now, my job is to protect Toby. Soon as I take him into town, people will know what you’ve done. It’ll help everyone move on faster if we’re not at each other’s throats all the time.” I took a swig of my drink to wash away the burn in my throat. “I can’t sit here and say I forgive you. I won’t do that. But I want to see him as much as possible and he needs to meet his family and my friends who will have his back.”

  Her lips pressed together at the mention of my friends. I’d always made sure none of them were dicks to her and for the most part, they’d been good. After she’d taken off though, Kelly had been pissed on my behalf. She was loyal as hell. Both Brooke and she were. Plus, Ryan and Shawn didn’t have much good to say. The only person in town who might welcome her was Cooper.

  “Kelly was hurt,” I said when she continued not saying anything. “When you took off and left. She’d liked you even if Rebecca hadn’t. She was pissed, and she was hurt and she’ll bring Ryan around and I’ve already talked to him. She was there at Rebecca’s when Rebecca saw that photo I took. Both of them figured it out.” I was the only idiot who hadn’t recognized my own kid.

  “She’ll bring Ryan around?” Des asked, for the first time, she didn’t look scared. “They’re still together? Married?”

  “Yeah, he and Shawn went to school, came back here and joined the police force. Kelly does design work for the new builds out by the resort neighborhood. And Brooke married Andrew. They’ve got two boys. Hellions.” I grinned, thinking of Toby. “Nathan and Oliver, and Nathan’s right around Toby’s age, too.”

  “Toby had mentioned kids being out at the ranch. That them? Not Rebecca’s?”

  Shit. I’d told her a different night we’d get into this, but she had to know. “No. Rebecca’s a widow. Her first husband, Joseph, she met him at college. They moved back and started working the ranch with my parents. Mom and dad died, and then almost a year later, so did Joseph.”

  “Wow.” Tears swam in her eyes. And that…that was why I always loved her so damn much. Someone like my sister could be a complete bitch to her and yet she heard something bad happening, and she felt that shit to her marrow. “I’m so sorry. That’s…horrible,” she finally said.

  “We don’t have a lot of family left. Just us and now Cooper —”

  “And now Toby.”

  “And now Toby,” I agreed. “Which is why she’s anxious to see him.”

  She set down her glass of wine and finally uncurled, stretching her long, slim legs before sliding forward on the couch. With her shorts so damn short they went on forever. I looked away from the appealing vision.

  “Of course she can get to know Toby. I want that for him. I want him to have it all, I swear to you. And I’m very sorry for both of you, losing so much, so quickly. But can I ask, if we wait a week before he heads out there? I’d like for him to spend more time with you first, getting to know you. Your sister can be, well…a lot.”

  I chuckled. Rebecca had a personality larger than the ranch for sure. At least she always had until Joseph died, but then Cooper showed up and started bringing out those parts of her again. I owed him my life forever for bringing my sister back to me.

  “Between her and Kelly and Brooke not much has changed there.”

  “So it’s loud over there.”

  “Pretty much all the time.”

  She laughed softly and shook her head. Kelly had always done the best at trying to include her. My sister and Brooke were two years older than us. Kelly had been in our grade and maybe that made it easier for her. Still, she wasn’t thrilled she was back and all of them wanted a piece of Toby.

  “I can probably hold her off until next weekend, but I’m warning you now if I give her that much time to plan for it, she’s going to throw one hell of a party. And I want you there.”

  Why? Jesus. That was stupid. It was throwing her into the flames of my sister’s wrath with her son present. Maybe that would help.

  It still didn’t explain my undying need to throw her back into this life and this town and with everyone I knew and loved. But fuck it, I needed that. I wanted that support for Toby. I wanted him to see my friends and see how good of a man I was.

  I wanted him to fall in love with the town so he wouldn’t leave.

  This. With Destiny in that small living ro
om, a drink in hand and softly spoken conversations and our son sleeping in his room safe and sound, it was all I’d ever wanted, with the woman I’d always wanted.

  And fucking hell. I was going to prove it was still the best damn thing either of us ever did.

  The trick would be in convincing her.

  * * *

  A soft rapping on the door pulled me from sleep. The sun was already shining, telling me it was morning, but not too early. But who in the hell would show up at Tillie’s this early?

  Probably Rebecca finished with her morning chores and unable to keep her tits in check while she waited to meet her nephew.

  The knocking turned louder, and I shoved my feet to the floor, tugging on my jeans. My head hurt from lack of sleep and possibly too many emotions yesterday. I typically did a good job of keeping my emotions in check, those bitches were a pain in the ass, but throw Destiny into the mix and it all swirled around.

  Whatever.

  A knock hit the door again. This time louder and I hurried to the front door, still zipping my jeans.

  I yanked the door open, expecting to get shoved to the side by Rebecca.

  Instead, a man was there, his hand still raised. Black-framed glasses grabbed my attention first, then the tanned, olive skin and blond hair. Followed by the short-sleeve polo shirt. This guy looked like he loved his cardio and golfing—exactly the same type as some of the douchebags I met on the course.

  He gawked at me.

  “Can I help you?” I asked, forgetting about my jeans still undone.

  “Where’s Janey?”

  Shit. He had to be Paul. And I was standing in the doorway to her house, looking like I’d rolled out of bed with her.

  Yeah…I wasn’t really pissed about that.

  “She know you’re coming? She didn’t say anything.” So maybe sometimes I liked being a dick.

  “And you are?”

  He threw open the storm door and stepped forward.

  I could take him easily. Hell, I could shove up my palm and push him back to the porch with barely any effort.

  “Who’s at the——Paul?” Destiny’s voice coming from behind me, shocked and sweet and sultry from sleep. Damn it. All my hormones misfired. “Hey…what are you doing here?”

  He was still on the porch and Destiny paused for a minute and stepped up beside me. Her face had paled like it’d taken her that long to register exactly what was happening.

  “This isn’t what it looks like,” she said quickly.

  Her hand went to my arm. Mistake.

  It was the first time she touched me in ten years. The heat from her hand must have burned her like it did my own flesh because she jerked back, scowling at me.

  I stepped back at the silent but angry look. Probably not the time to think it was cute as hell, too.

  “What exactly is this then?” Paul asked. I fought against slamming my fist to his face. Far as Destiny said, they were over, which meant he had no right to be pissed about anything.

  Destiny stepped in front of me, waving him in and effectively pushing me back. “Come in, come in. I’ll explain. Coffee? Did you drive here? All night? Fly? I’m sorry, I’m surprised.”

  “Yeah.” His eyes cut to me and narrowed. “I bet you are.”

  Fucker. He might have had three years with her, but if they were over, I was putting an end to him being an asshole real quick. Ironic considering how much of a dick I’d been to her myself in the last day.

  I waited until he stepped in before I slammed the door behind him. The door barely missed smacking him on the shoulder as it closed.

  I grinned. “I’ll go get dressed.”

  “Maybe you should too, Janey.” That came from Paul, but my eyes went to Destiny.

  Fucking Janey. That name would never be her. I hated that he had that, too. But my attention snagged on her legs, moved up to her ass that was barely concealed by a silk looking black nightie. She whipped a robe around her, light pink and lacy but I was stuck on that ass, the sway of her breasts as she turned. The whip of her blonde hair. It was the first time I’d seen it down, all flowy, longer than it’d been ten years ago with highlights or some shit. Better.

  It was definitely better. All of her was.

  “I get why you’re mad,” she said to Paul, but her cheeks had pinkened, telling me she caught me checking her out and liking what I was seeing. I needed to get hung up on Des like I needed to blow out my other knee. “But you really have the wrong idea. And if you give me a minute to explain—”

  “Paul?”

  As if this situation couldn’t get worse. All of our heads swung in the direction of the stairs. Toby bounded down them, black hair bouncing all over the place. He hurried to Paul and threw his arms around him.

  “Hey squirt,” Paul said, and all that anger in him evaporated as he squeezed my boy. “How you doin’?”

  “I’m great!” Toby said and turned. As he caught sight of me, his smile went slack. “Um. Oh. I’m good, Paul.”

  He stepped out of the hug I knew he’d had dozens of over the years. And that shit stung like a bitch. I’d barely touched my boy, and he loved this man. Which meant I really couldn’t be a dick to him.

  I looked at Destiny who had gone pale and silent and back to Toby. “Hey, buddy. How about you and I go grab some breakfast and we let your mom and Paul talk?”

  “Who are you?” Paul asked, that glare of his firmly re-fixed in place. Too bad for him I’d had years of glaring down the competition.

  “This is Jordan,” Toby said.

  Paul’s entire body jerked with the force of that statement. “Jordan….” His gaze dipped to Toby who suddenly looked uncertain and finally, fucking finally, Destiny came unglued.

  “Please Paul,” she choked out. “Please come into the kitchen so we can talk.”

  I caught her attention as she walked by me. “I’ll run him to Down Home and grab some breakfast pizzas, have him back here in thirty or forty-five minutes depending on how busy they are.” And because I couldn’t stop myself from being a dick, I asked, “You still prefer bacon over sausage?”

  Her eyes widened. Those pink cheeks of hers burned hot. She liked that I remembered. Or she wanted to slam a pie into my face. “Uh. Yeah. Thanks,” she mumbled as she walked, rushing to the kitchen.

  Paul, who was no longer glaring at me, but looking like one sad, kicked in the gut puppy, glanced between Toby and me. “Jordan,” he said, whispered it more to himself than me. “Shit.” Which meant this man wasn’t dumb.

  He’d just figured out a whole hell of a lot.

  “Let’s go, Toby. Run upstairs and get dressed. I’ll meet you in the truck.”

  “But Mom—”

  “Needs a few minutes with Paul, I think, yeah?”

  That lip of his went to his teeth, a maneuver so damn similar to Destiny it almost made me smile. Then he nodded. “I gotta pee and get clothes on.”

  I laughed softly. Freaking boys. We were all the same.

  I tugged my shirt on while he was gone, picked up my phone with a screen filled with texts and missed call messages. I’d get to them later. Work could live without me for another day. I snagged my keys and went outside.

  Out in my truck, I called in an order to Down Home. It was after eight o’clock, too early for the breakfast rush that always hit after church services, but Destiny had been right earlier. If I showed up with him in town, everyone would know he was mine and the gossip mill would be slammed into fast forward motion.

  Toby came walking out of the house a few minutes later wearing black athletic shorts hanging down past his knees and a royal blue shirt with a horse on the front with the words “Mustang Pride,” in bright white. He hadn’t done his hair, still looked half-asleep, and he kept glancing back at the house with that worried look on his face he’d had earlier.

  Good kid. Didn’t want to leave his mom in that house with someone he liked a lot based on that hug, knowing that situation he walked into wasn’t a good one. Yeah, she
did good with him.

  Pride suffused my chest, expanding it so much I ached by the time he climbed up into the passenger seat and buckled up.

  His worried eyes were still on the house.

  “They’ll be okay,” I said, knowing exactly what he was thinking. “Just need to talk.”

  “Paul’s mad.” Was his answer.

  Something about the tone made me pause. “He get mad a lot?”

  “No.” He shook his head and dropped it toward his lap. “Gets sad sometimes. Heard Mom once say it was because he asked Mom to marry him and she said no. But he never gets mad at her.”

  Married? My brain stumbled on that before I caught the part about her saying no. That shouldn’t have made me biting back a smile, but there I was, trying not to grin, my kid in my car, and we were headed to Down Home for the best breakfast pizza in the state. Not that I knew for sure, but I’d wager my hefty savings account on it.

  “They’ll be good. And we won’t be gone long, yeah?”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled. “Whatever.”

  Since it was going to take about a half-hour for our order to be ready, I did a quick drive through town and showed Toby the place where his mom had grown up. I took him by the high school with the newly re-done stadium. We shared it with a nearby community college so the football field was second to none and it looked more like a major university stadium than a slap of grass with high metal bleachers. His eyes had perked up at seeing it, but he still hadn’t said much.

  I let him stay quiet. He was worried about his mom and probably feeling caught in the middle of a scenario that wasn’t his fault.

  I drove him out to the resort, pushing the time limit on those pizzas.

  “This yours?” he asked as he saw the sign for Carlton Resort and Spa. “Bigger than I thought it’d be.”

  “Had to be big and impressive to attract the attention I wanted it to have. There’s a hotel with a restaurant and spa inside. I can show it to you some other day if you want.” I didn’t give him a chance to ‘whatever’ me and kept on talking, swinging out of the parking lot and through the neighborhood. “Golf course is pretty sweet. Know you said you don’t like it, but if you want to learn, we’ve got great instructors.”