Long Road Home

by Stacey Lynn

  Which also meant since this wasn’t Pam’s first time refusing to do this part of her job, I would soon be looking for a new Food and Beverage Manager.

  Just what I needed after the week I’d had, trying to figure out what in the hell to do with Destiny and Toby. She was as beautiful as ever and every time I saw her a burn ignited in my chest, slowly spreading south of my belt.

  Time to forgive her, to push through the carousel of luggage we had between us, wasn’t on my side.

  She was still planning on leaving at the end of the summer which meant I had weeks to try to convince my skittish ex that taking a chance on me would be the best decision she ever made.

  And then there was Toby. Every time I saw him or talked to him, it killed me to hang up the phone. How in the hell did I worm my way into the life of a ten-year-old kid who called me Jordan instead of Dad?

  Parenting was so far outside my wheelhouse it wasn’t funny. Plus the fact he didn’t know I existed for the first decade of his life made it worse.

  What I wouldn’t give to be outside, club in my hand and sweat trickling down my back where the irritation of a sand trap or misaligned putt were my biggest frustrations.

  I blew out a breath, refocused on the vendor reports and contracts and was finally in the work mindset when my assistant, Alicia, opened my door.

  She peeked her head in, blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders and glanced back at the reception area. She turned slowly back to me.

  “Yes?” I asked.

  Her face had some weird pinched look she never wore, and I was already pushing away from my desk and standing before I asked, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “Um. There are people here to see you.”

  “So let them in.” Swear to God. If I had to tell one more person how to do their job today—

  “It’s a woman and boy.”

  “And?”

  “She said it’s your son.”

  Oh. That. “Yeah. He’s mine. Thanks, Alicia.”

  “It’s just that, I’ve worked here for three years now, and you’ve never mentioned.”

  I pulled my door open. It fell out of her hands and made her jump backward. “That’s because I didn’t know.”

  She gasped. I ignored it because holy shit.

  Destiny was here, in my office, with my son. Both of them stood by a couch in the waiting room, grinning like the cat who finally got its cream.

  “This place is so cool. Even better than seeing it from outside,” Toby said.

  “It’s amazing, Jordan. I mean, you said you ran this…own it…built it…but I never imagined it to be so beautiful.”

  “Think I’d be more neon bar lights and pool tables than top of the line spas and local brewery beers?”

  “Well.” She shrugged in that innocently cute way she always had. Like she didn’t realize how funny she could be and was just hoping someone laughed at her joke. “Yeah.”

  And that… that right there, was exactly what I needed to see. Destiny as Destiny. Not whatever Jane bullshit she’d tried to pull. Not the fearful and sorrowful woman I’d seen the last week. It was her…being her that drew me to her.

  “I hired a designer. Trust me, she hated almost all my ideas.”

  She laughed and covered her mouth, hiding it, but that first damn flash I got of her unhindered laugh went straight to my balls. She pulled her mouth away and the smile went with it. “I’m proud of you. This is really something.”

  I’d won National Championships. My first game pitching for the Rockies, I was on the mound, bottom of the ninth, up by one run, two men on base and the league’s number one home run hitter up to bat with a full count and two outs. I struck him out. Won the game for my team. Cemented my role as a starter. It had been the highlight of my life.

  It didn’t compare to the blast of heat surging down my spine at her praise.

  “Thanks, Des.” I went to her, pressed my hand to her hip and brushed my lips over her cheek. She went straight as an arrow and her breath caught as I whispered, “That means a lot to me.” Her breath skated across my cheek and I pulled back. “So what brings you two here?”

  A faint hint of pink rimmed her cheeks and she looked down at Toby, ruffled his hair, before coming back to me. “I thought, maybe, if you weren’t busy tonight, we could do dinner?”

  I had a Friday Night League Tournament teeing off at six and I always liked to be around for the beginning of them to make sure everything started smoothly even though the clubhouse manager never needed me.

  “I’ll be done here around six-thirty.” I grinned down at Toby. “Your place or mine?”

  “Actually,” Destiny said, “I was thinking you and me. Dinner out somewhere?”

  A date? Was she asking me out? That heat in my spine settled to a comfortable warmth and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from teasing her and asking. This was a lot for her. I schooled my features and lowered my voice, made sure she could see I knew exactly what she was asking. “You ready for that?”

  She gave that cute little shrug, the wide cut of her shirt causing her sleeve to dip down slightly. It took all my resistance not to fix it for her. But I stared at the spot of her skin. The edge of her collarbone. A tiny, moon shaped freckle I knew was still there, hidden beneath that wide strap.

  “I figured if we were staying…temporarily, I mean…I should get used to it.”

  My gaze whipped to hers. Temporarily my ass. A muscle jumped in my cheek. “Where were you thinking?”

  “Um. Down Home?”

  “Jesus. Jumping right into the fire, aren’t you?”

  She glanced at Toby and winked. He was watching both of us with a mixture of curiosity and boredom. Maybe a little fear. Basically, it was the expression he always regarded me with. Hesitant and hopeful.

  “I guess I’m feeling a little brave tonight.” Her words barely reached my ears, but they still hit my chest with the force of a sledgehammer.

  “Then Down Home it is. I’ll come get you at seven.” My brows jumped together, and I looked at Toby. “What are you going to do?”

  “He’s old enough to stay home for a few hours, Jordan.”

  Toby shrugged. “I’ll play some games. Drink too much pop and eat all the cookies Mom and I bought at the store today.”

  Sounded like a heavenly Friday night, actually. Junk food and games. Boring though, and he hadn’t done much else since he’d been here. “What about the ranch? You could finally see those goats?”

  “Oh, can I?” His head whipped toward his mom.

  She bit her bottom lip. “Do you think Rebecca would mind? You could call her, but yeah, I’d be okay with that.”

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and held it out to her. “How about you call her? I bet she’d loved being asked.”

  She stared at the phone like a rattlesnake was wrapped around it. It took her forever to decide. At her side, Toby bounced on his feet, almost begging her to do it. But a thousand thoughts raced through her mind before she finally straightened her back, like she had to pick herself up one vertebra at a time. “Um. Yeah. Okay. I can do that.”

  Destiny fished her own phone out of her purse, smiled at me, and asked, “What’s her number? I’ll put it in my phone so if something happens, she has it.”

  This was it. This was what I needed. Things weren’t easy between Rebecca and Destiny, but she was trying. It was all I wanted to see. Some effort.

  I rattled off the digits and after she typed them in, pointed to my office. “You can use my office for privacy. While you’re calling her, I’m going to show Toby around the place. When you’re done, can you meet us in the lobby?”

  “I can do that.” She grinned, but it was wobbly.

  Someday, she’d believed she didn’t have anything to fear. Had never had anything to fear when it came to me. “I think you can do anything you want, Destiny, anything you set your mind to. You just have to believe that for yourself.” I scrubbed a hand over the top of Jordan’s head, s
hoving him playfully. “Let’s go little man. I’ll show you all the cool stuff.”

  I took off with Destiny’s shocked look softening to something more beautiful. Something that had always called to me. That vulnerable part of her she’d only ever let me see. Only now, I was realizing I’d barely scraped the surface of all her fears all those years ago.

  But we were kids young and stupid and naive to all the real difficulties life faced.

  Hopefully we had both grown and matured enough to handle everything that could still be thrown our way.

  Seventeen

  Destiny

  * * *

  “I have extra rooms in my house,” Rebecca said. She was chattering—to me. I must have entered a bizarre world to hear Rebecca’s chirpy, happy voice in conversation with me. Of course, that probably had more to do with asking her to watch Toby tonight than me. “He can stay the night, if that’s okay. Then he can help me get ready for the party tomorrow. Or help Cooper if you think he’d like that.”

  My gaze was on the bright green fairways outside Jordan’s office window. My mind racing. A sleepover? Giving Jordan and I the night alone?

  I slammed that thought into a box and locked it.

  “Yeah, I can ask him. But really, Rebecca. It’s dinner and a few hours, you don’t have to—”

  “I want to.” Her voice went soft. Almost pleading. She continued before I could form a thought. “I want to get to know him. Plus Cooper installed the basketball hoop the other day. He’s excited too, and it’s not a problem, Destiny. It’s our honor. My duty as his Aunt.”

  Her voice went shaky at the end. Mine would be if I tried to speak. My deep inhale as I tried to was shaky enough.

  “Okay,” I finally said. “Okay. Thank you. I can bring him over around six after I feed him. Does that work?”

  “We usually eat then. I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry. He’ll be in good hands, I swear it.”

  I lost the tremulous hold I’d been scraping together. A family. Being here would give this to Toby. A family who loved him. God. I needed to call Allison. We had to have a long talk and soon.

  “Thanks, Rebecca. I’ll see you later.”

  “Take care. And have fun tonight.” She giggled. “But trust me, I won’t need details.”

  I blinked. Fire bloomed on my cheeks and spread to my chest. “That’s not…it’s just dinner…to talk…”

  “Uh-huh. See you soon!”

  She practically sang the words as she hung up on me.

  I stared at my screen like it was an alien life form. That was Rebecca? Teasing me? Laughing with me?

  “What a strange day,” I whispered at the screen of my iPhone. Odd. First Gloria. Then Jordan kissing my cheek and touching my hip and looking at me like I was adorable. Then Rebecca.

  I swiped the phone. Checked the date to make sure I hadn’t entered a parallel universe. Then remembered I was supposed to meet Jordan and Toby in the lobby.

  I left Jordan’s office, closing the door behind me.

  “Thank you,” I said to Jordan’s receptionist. She was older than me. Probably by about a decade. I didn’t pause to wonder why it felt good to know the woman who worked so close to him was not only older than us but married based on the size of the rock on her finger. “I won’t take up too much more of Jordan’s time today.”

  “No problem.” She smiled at me. A big one. One that seemed completely genuine. See? Strange. “Your boy seems really sweet.”

  “He is.”

  Her smile faltered. “I hope to see more of him. I’ve got kids of my own. Two girls, though. They’re eleven.”

  “Twins? You must have had your hands full.” Mom talk was always easy.

  “They’re sweet kids. When their hormones aren’t turning them into screaming banshees.”

  I thought back to the grief I’d given Tillie around that age, most likely for the same reason, and laughed. “I was probably the same way.”

  “All us girls are.” She winked like we were sharing some sort of secret joke. I suppose we were. The wiles of women were highly secretive. “How old is he?”

  “Toby? He’s ten. He’ll be in fifth grade in the fall.”

  “Ellie and Jackie are going into sixth. Maybe we could get them together sometime. They have a lot of friends in town, boys too, he could meet. If you’re going to be here a while?”

  Thirty minutes ago, I’d heard her surprise as she told Jordan I told him his son was here to see him. I’d also heard his reply about how he hadn’t known. I’d seen the flash of her eyes, the furrowed brow and the way she stood distant while we spoke, but kept an eye on us the entire time. Now she was being as friendly as could be.

  “Um. Yeah, that would be great. Toby would like that.” He’d love it, actually. He was always running around the neighborhood with friends. I hardly saw him during the summer.

  “Great. I’ll set something up with Jordan, then? That okay?”

  “Sure. We’re pretty open.” An odd pressure hit my chest making it difficult to breathe. I was staring at her and smiling.

  Meanwhile, the world as I knew it was shifting beneath my feet. She knew I kept Jordan’s son from him, and she acted like she didn’t care I was so horrible.

  “Great. See you soon. Nice to meet you, Destiny.” The phone rang as she spoke, so I waved goodbye and headed toward the stairway to take me down to the lobby. And the whole way down, I gripped the railing tightly so I didn’t fall.

  She was nice to me. Unassuming. Helpful. Kind.

  That wasn’t how people around here treated me and yet she’d treated me like she’d known me for years and we were setting up our weekly coffee date.

  What universe had I woken up in?

  I found Jordan and Toby in the lobby, walking out of one of the restaurants I’d noticed on the way in. My heart stuttered and grew impossibly large with every breath. Jordan was breathtakingly handsome. It had nothing to do with his body that showed years of working out and taking care of it. Nor the white dress shirt that curved over his chest, slim at the waist and tucked into gray suit pants, perfectly creased down the front. I took all that in, my hand going to my chest to ease the delicious ache as he walked toward me, arm slung over Toby’s shoulder, holding him tight. They kept looking at each other, mirror images, same damn eyes and similar smiles on their faces that made all my mistakes hit me with the force of a wrecking ball.

  Father and son. Enjoying each other. Affectionate and happy.

  So much so that by the time they reached me, tears were spilling down my cheeks and Jordan was frowning. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  “Mom?”

  “Nothing.” I swiped my tears away and sniffed, smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. “Everything’s good.” It was perfect. I could fix this. I had to. I’d work every damn day until my dying breath to fix the wrongs I’d done. “I promise.” I blinked my eyes harshly one more time and grinned down at Toby. “Rebecca said you can come. And if you want, she said you can spend the night. No pressure…but she thought you’d have fun helping Cooper on the ranch and maybe getting on a horse.”

  “Seriously?” His brows arched. His sweet voice went high-pitched reminding me of when he was younger. “That’d be so cool! Yeah. I’ll do it. Definitely.”

  “Good.” My eyes slid to Jordan. “Wonderful.”

  His eyes warmed with the heat of a thousand suns, and all of those thoughts I’d slammed and locked away earlier popped free with his look, the drift of his eyes down my body and back up. “Yeah. Wonderful.”

  * * *

  “Wow, Jane. Or Destiny. Whoever you are now. I’m impressed. You move fast.”

  I laughed at Allison. I hadn’t talked to her much in the last week except for explaining about Paul showing up, and then leaving quickly thereafter. It was difficult to tell her everything else. I was falling for Jordan all over again and it was scarier this time. I had Toby to consider this time and I’d made enough colossal mistakes. I didn’t have a strike left if I s
crewed up.

  But what else does a girl do when she’s freaking out about a date with the father of her child who she hasn’t been alone with in a decade except call her best friend?

  “It’s not fast, Allison. It’s just…” I didn’t know what it was. That was the problem.

  “It’s right, and that’s all that matters.”

  “It feels right.”

  “Which is probably why you sound like a scared, cornered animal. What are you doing now?”

  I was pacing the living room and kitchen, pretending I wasn’t wearing a hole in Tillie’s carpet while I surreptitiously peeked through the curtains to see if Jordan had pulled up yet. “Waiting for him.”

  “Mm-hmmm.”

  She knew me too well.

  “I know. I’m a wreck. What about the job?” I’d taken a huge plunge with her earlier. Having your best friend as your boss made it harder to ask for a favor. I never wanted people to think Allison let me get away with anything because of our friendship. Allowing me to work remotely for a few weeks was the biggest favor she’d ever done for me and that was her idea.

  She sighed heavily. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not saying no, honey, but I do have to think about it. We have a ton of huge projects and there are times I need you here for meetings with clients, but maybe we could work out a schedule. You travel back every quarter. Once a month for a few days. Give me time to talk to some of the managers?”

  “Yeah.” It was better than anything I could have pictured. “Absolutely. Take your time.” Bright lights swung into the driveway, almost blinding me through the curtains. “Oh shit. He’s here. This is good, right? I’m not an idiot?”

  She was already laughing. Friends who laughed at your misery were awesome. “No. You’re not an idiot. Have fun and don’t forget to call me tomorrow. I want all the details.”