Long Road Home

by Stacey Lynn

  It fell to my knees, so I quickly tied it into a knot and went to the bathroom where I splashed water on my face and scrubbed away yesterday’s mascara from beneath my eyes. It took minutes to make myself look presentable enough for Toby to see me, and I felt no shame in digging through Jordan’s drawers to find a hair-tie, hoping I’d come up empty. When I couldn’t find anything, I smiled, grabbed the toothbrush I used last night and brushed my teeth.

  Then I hurried out of his room and down the hall, coming up short when I saw Toby’s door open and his bed covers a mangled mess, but the bed was empty.

  Sounds hit my ears coming from downstairs, followed by a manly chuckle which had to be Jordan. A lighter one quickly followed and before I knew it, my cheeks ached from grinning so large.

  I reached downstairs and paused in the entryway of the kitchen. They hadn’t seen me yet and I took a minute to watch father and son work, making breakfast, and an even larger mess. Waffle batter was spilled all over the kitchen counter in front of them. Three glasses of juice were set aside, and Jordan stood next to Toby. One so tall and one so small, but so very similar, a tear fell down my cheek as Toby grinned up at his dad, laughing again while they poured the batter into the waffle maker.

  I could watch them all day. Every day. And except for my own insecurities, there was no longer anything keeping that from happening.

  With that thought, I stepped into the kitchen. “Are you two making a mess or breakfast?”

  Toby slid his tongue out from his pressed together lips as he concentrated on pouring the batter into the maker.

  Jordan grinned at me over his shoulder. “Morning sleepyhead. You slept in.”

  I hadn’t checked to see what time it was, but a quick scan of the microwave and the clock in blue numbers said it was well after nine. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept so late. “Must have needed it.”

  I went to Jordan and stepped between the two of them, kissing the top of Toby’s head. Jordan’s arm curled around my side and he kissed my cheek, hugging me quickly and letting me go. “Good morning. Sleep okay?”

  Heat sparked at my neck and traveled upward. His look was knowing, also remembering. I cleared my throat and stepped back. “Yeah. It was a good night.”

  “The best.”

  “Gross you guys.” The laughter in Toby’s voice made me jump and I turned.

  “What?”

  “You two. Touchy feely and all that talk you think I’m too young to get. It’s gross.” He squished his face up and rolled his eyes. The look was utterly adorable, but he’d hate it if I pointed out how cute he was. And based on his expression, he was more pleased than displeased.

  The teasing was new, too. If Jordan and I had been trying to hide we were trying out reconciliation, we’d clearly done a poor job of hiding it from him.

  Not that he seemed to mind.

  “Right. I’ll can the sweet stuff,” I teased him and stepped away from both of them. They went back to checking the waffles while I helped myself to coffee. Since they looked like they had everything under control, I spotted a stool across the island from them, slid onto it, grinning while I drank my coffee.

  “Did you guys have anything planned for today?” Jordan asked. He’d propped his hip on the counter across from me. Peeling my eyes off the exposed skin around his waist was difficult. He was wearing light blue pajama bottoms, tied and slung low on his hips. I remembered Toby was in the room, feet from Jordan, and conquered the task of lifting my eyes from Jordan’s stomach to his face.

  Based on his smirk, he knew my thoughts had driven straight to the gutter.

  “Not really. I need to finish packing Tillie’s things. Thought today would be a good day to work on it.”

  Two black brows slowly lifted. “You’re packing up her stuff.”

  It was more a statement, tinged with something heavy I didn’t quite understand. “Yeah. At some point, I’ll have to get rid of it. And I don’t think she’s decluttered since the mid-nineties. There’s a lot to go through.”

  “Right.” A muscle jumped in his jaw and he took a drink of coffee.

  I fear I’d said something wrong, but there wasn’t time to ask because Toby declared the last waffle done.

  While they plated the finished breakfast, I grabbed silverware from the drawer and spread the bamboo placemats onto the table. Jordan brought over the orange juice. Toby carried a platter of waffles stacked sky high and beneath that, three plates for all of us.

  We settled at the table. Tears, thankful and grateful and oh so damn hopeful ones, burned my eyes. I looked to my lap and sniffed them back. Hid them. We’d had meals together before, planned ones. Ones with Jordan’s family. This breakfast. This moment was different. This was a family waking up on Sunday morning to waffles and casual togetherness.

  “Mom?”

  I blinked harshly and grinned at my boy. “Breakfast looks delicious, honey.”

  “You okay?” Cute, black ten-year-old boy brows wrinkled together on his forehead.

  “Yeah.” My gaze slid to Jordan and back to my boy. My grin shook. “Yeah. I’m happy.”

  “Get eatin’, bud. We’ve got balls to go hit when we’re done.”

  My head swung toward Jordan. His voice had gone hard and rough, startling me.

  The look on his face startled me more. It was as intense as his voice. Harder.

  But there was something else there, a heat simmering in his eyes that lit a spark south of my waist.

  Yeah. He was happy, too.

  He winked at me and cut into his stack of waffles.

  Toby mumbled, “Right,” and shoved a bite of waffle into his mouth.

  “Hit some balls?” I asked still stunned by Jordan. This meal. My kid taking everything in stride. Could it be this easy?

  Warmth fluttered in my stomach.

  “Yeah.” Toby talked with a mouth full of waffles, too excited to remember his manners. “Jordan said he’d teach me how to golf.”

  “You can come with us,” Jordan said, “I can teach you, too.”

  He could barely throw out that invitation without laughing.

  I had the athleticism of a drunken one-legged monkey. “I’ll pass.”

  “Probably for the best,” Toby said, not bothering to hide his laughter. “Mom would probably break a club. Or the windows behind the driving range.”

  I pointed my fork at him and glared. “Watch it, kiddo.”

  He laughed harder. “It’s true.”

  At the end of the table, Jordan snorted.

  “Don’t you start.” I glared at him.

  He threw out his hands, well one of them. A fist bump went in Toby’s direction. “I didn’t say a word. But it does seem our boy knows you.”

  Toby gaped at him and his laughter died immediately.

  The air was sucked out of the room. The intensity of the moment, draining all of us dry. That he not only thought it…but he said it. So easily. Like he’d said it every day for the last decade and we’d done this very thing a million times before.

  My chest stung, overheated with the need to throw myself into his arms, onto his lap, kiss him crazy and thank him so damn much, repeatedly, because he’d made this so easy for all of us, like we all fit together and this was meant to be.

  “Yeah.” I winked at Toby who was still staring at Jordan. He was having a hard enough time holding onto his emotions. So clear on his face, his struggle, that need to know his dad and be loved by his dad.

  Incredible. Two words. Our boy. And everything changed.

  We were most definitely staying.

  “Yeah. Our boy.”

  Jordan’s phone rang, and he scowled at it on the counter behind me before standing from the table. “That’s the resort’s ringtone. I gotta get this.”

  I tucked back into my waffles, glancing at Toby to find his eyes, awed and sweet and so hopeful that he’d finally found his father—and it ended up being a man who loved him— watching Jordan.

  “Hey,” I whisp
ered. “You good? You can take a few minutes if you need to.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I’m cool.” He shoved a forkful of waffles into his mouth.

  I stared at my son like the sun was shining directly onto him, because as far as I was concerned, it did.

  God had given me an incredible boy. And hopefully soon, He’d give me the family I always wanted.

  “Sorry,” Jordan said, coming up behind me. He pressed his hands to the back of my chair, brushing the hair off my shoulder. “There’s a problem with the woman’s brunch and golf tournament starting in a couple hours. I need to shower and head into work for a few hours.”

  Disappointment dulled Toby’s smile. “No golfing?”

  “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Okay?”

  “Sure.”

  Warm breath and full lips brushed my ear. “I gotta get it in the shower. But I’ll give you the keys to my truck so you guys can head out when you’re ready. That okay?”

  I shivered at the feel of him so close. So impossible to fight. My reaction to him was a living, needy thing I had no control over. “Sure, Jordan.”

  He chuckled quietly. Drove me crazy.

  “Good.” He smacked the side of the chair. “Eat up. And make sure you help your mom clean up, kiddo.”

  He walked away and once his steps up the stairs had evaporated, I turned back to Toby. “Hey. How about after this, you and I go for a drive? I want to show you something.”

  “Sure. Something cool?”

  I highly doubted he’d think the middle school I attended was cool. Still, I grinned at him and lied through my teeth. “Of course it is.”

  Twenty-Four

  Destiny

  * * *

  While Toby cleaned up his room, I cleaned the monstrous mess in the kitchen. I loaded the sticky syrup plates and was closing the dishwasher when two large arms wrapped around my stomach.

  “Do you know how sexy you are, wearing my shirt, prancing your sexy ass around my kitchen?”

  I relaxed in his arms and soaked in the scent of his body wash or cologne and the feel of him. “You’re insane. And Toby—”

  “Is brushing his teeth. I couldn’t resist hugging you in my house. I’m sorry I have to get to work.”

  “It’s okay.” I shifted in his arms and faced him. “Thanks for breakfast.”

  Thanks for making this so easy and beautiful.

  “Yeah.” His hands pressed against the side of my head, back into my hair and cupped the back of my head. “If Toby wasn’t going to come down any minute, you know I’d have your ass on that counter and I’d be eating my second breakfast of the day, right?”

  Good Lord. A flutter hit me hard and fast. It started deep in my stomach and shot straight to my heart. Which might have stopped beating for a second and kicked into high gear when it re-started.

  “Jordan—”

  “Yeah. That’s the look I want to remember on your face when I’m thinking about you today. Now kiss me. I have to go.”

  My hands went to his cheeks. “Always so bossy.”

  “You like my bossy.” His head came down. Or I pulled him to me. I didn’t quite know what happened, who moved first, but his mouth was on mine, his tongue sliding against mine, our lips fused together and I was at risk of forgetting everything, including my name, when he yanked back. “Water turned off upstairs.”

  My gaze slid in that direction and I pressed my hands down his arms to the skin beneath his navy-blue polo shirt, Carlton Resort and Spa embroidered over one of his pecs. “You’re so hot. Always have been.”

  “You’ve always been the only girl I see,” he said, eyes glimmering, lips lifted at the edges.

  When he talked like that, the world melted. My knees turned liquid. “Thank you,” I said, and heard steps pounding the stairs.

  “Ready Mom! Where we going?”

  “Someplace cool!” I shouted back.

  “Where you taking him?” Jordan asked.

  I was ready to tell him everything. It just wasn’t the time. Plans had to be made anyway and there were things to line up. “A surprise for him. I’ll tell you later?”

  “You better.” He turned and reached out for Toby. “Hey buddy. I gotta take off. You be good for your mom, today, yeah?”

  Toby’s grin was enough to light up the sky. “Yeah. Always am.”

  “Please.” I snorted. “You’re a pain in my butt.”

  Toby pointed his finger at me. “That must be why it’s so big.”

  “Why you…” I leaped for him, and Jordan’s arm curled around my waist, holding me back.

  “I’d run, man. Those are fighting words with a woman.” He could barely talk over his sudden, bursting laugh.

  “I’ll get you!” I shouted, laughing so hard peeing my pants was a possibility.

  “Yeah, yeah,” Toby said, sneaking back toward the stairs. “You’d have to catch me first and we all know how well you run.”

  I fought against Jordan’s arm, pressing his hand away, laughing hysterically. “You are a runt!”

  “Yeah, but I’m a fast one!” He turned and took off running through the living room.

  “Let me go!” Jordan did immediately, and I almost fell to my knees, scrambled to my feet, and I took off after Toby, Jordan’s booming laugh echoed through the house.

  “I’ll get you!” I shouted, chasing Toby up the stairs, but by the time I reached his room, his door was closed, and rattling the handle told me it was locked. “Hey, yeah…you better hide.”

  Laugher hit my ears from the side of his door.

  I turned, defeated, out of breath. Man. I was out of shape. Jordan stood at the bottom of the stairs. Both of his hands were propped on the banister, one foot on the bottom step. He looked regal and sexy. Professional and ready for a day on the course. Dress pants, shining brown dress shoes. The navy polo. He was such a man. Not the boy who’d taught me everything I knew about sex and then vigorously reminded me of all of it last night.

  I brushed off the lustful haze he always put me in and shoved a finger in his direction. “And you are in trouble. I’ll get you later.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  “Go to work.” Laughter threatening again. God, I loved him. I couldn’t wait to tell him. “I need to get my clothes and get home.”

  “Keys are on the counter. The truck should have gas in it. You can bring it back here later tonight for dinner and stay again.”

  “Again?”

  “Like I said, more room between Toby’s and mine here.”

  Heat filled my cheeks, burned straight to my teeth. “Okay.” What else could I say? When it came to Jordan, I never wanted to tell him no.

  * * *

  Like I knew would happen, disbelief and a complete un-awed tone filled Toby’s voice as we pulled into the parking lot of Carlton Middle School. “This is the cool place you wanted to show me?”

  After we got back to Tillie’s and I showered and dressed for the day, I made a few phone calls, and fortunately, Brooke had been one of them.

  She was standing at the front of the school, her car parked in front of mine in the school drop-off lane.

  “Thanks for meeting us,” I called out as I got out of the car. Toby dejectedly climbed out from his side and met me at the sidewalk.

  Thank goodness for maybe friends whose father-in-law was still the middle school principal. Andrew’s dad had also been the principal when we were in middle school. And maybe I was calling in a favor, but a part of me not only wanted to have Toby see the school he would go to if we stayed, but the twelve and thirteen-year-old girl in me who was hated and despised and made fun of also needed the closure. To walk through these walls and see a building, lockers, classrooms, the sweaty smelly locker rooms and remember that it’s a place, not a brothel for evil pre-teens where they hold séances to prepare for their next attack.

  Overdramatic? Probably. Hopefully.

  “Come on,” I said to Toby. I rested my hand between his shoulder blad
es and pushed him toward Brooke.

  “Hey guys!”

  “Is this okay?” She’d said it was on the phone, but she didn’t need to get into trouble for me. “You’re sure.”

  “Sure I’m sure. John’s here during the week working anyway. He said it’s not a problem as long as we don’t graffiti the walls or anything.”

  “Not really my plan for today.” I assured her with a smile and turned to Toby. “Okay. So this place isn’t cool, but if we stay, it’ll be your school. And I want you to walk through these halls, look at the rooms, and think if this is what you really want to do too, okay?”

  He’d brought it up to me last week. I’d talk to him about it on the way here. He was the one leaving his friends and school and everything he already knew. If we stayed, that choice would be in large part, up to him. Although after seeing him with Jordan this morning there was no way he would say no.

  A school wouldn’t change that. Still, having more information at his disposal would help him.

  “Yippee,” he muttered.

  I winked as Brooke laughed. “He’s so excited.”

  “No doubt as excited as mine would be if I made them come to school weeks early, too. Let’s go.”

  We toured the school. Brooke focused mostly on showing us the sixth-grade wing and all the elective classrooms. She told Toby which teachers were cool and why before she took us to the gym. She had even printed out information about their last year’s middle school basketball program.

  By the time the tour was done, and we were walking back to our cars, I could have pulled Brooke into my arms and kissed her.

  I didn’t, because I wasn’t weird—although Brooke probably wouldn’t mind, because she was crazy. I’d never laughed so hard on a school tour thanks to her, and even Toby had chuckled a few times.

  “So?” She swung the keys into her palm. “What’d you think, Toby?”

  He shrugged. “It’s a school. Smaller than I’d go to back home. Doesn’t look like it’d suck, though.”

  “A thrilling recommendation we’ll be sure to put on the new enrollment paperwork.” She winked at him.