Lauren versus the Leprechauns

by J Sevil

  Chapter 2 - The King.

  “You WHAT?” Pillosh knelt on the floor in front of the imposing Leprechaun king, whose face was turning red. The King stood over the cringing Pillosh, puffing out his chest in anger. His harsh words echoed off the ancient stone walls and floor of the majestic hall of the Leprechaun king.

  His thick orange beard gave him a regal and wide appearance. And he used his large golden crown to cover as much of his greying hair as possible. Pillosh was kneeling in front of the King’s throne, white with fear.

  The Leprechaun king sat back down on his golden thrown which was placed on a large wooden stage, high above his subjects. He held his sceptre and leaned forward, still seated, showing Pillosh how displeased he was. Pillosh meekly tried to explain.

  “I had to use magic on her dog, your most wonderfulness. It’s the only way I could avoid getting homesick.”

  “Maybe best for all if you DID!” He sat back down, his eyes bulging with rage. After several long seconds he stood, lifted his chin and in a voice that echoed off the stone walls declared.

  “And you don’t know if dat dog returned to normal or not. And if NOT then our kingdom is no longer a secret and we are then DOOMED!”

  Pillosh whimpered and looked at the floor.

  “I cast da spell, your most mercifulness, but passed out soon after.”

  The king took a long breath and yelled to the uniformed leprechauns waiting at the end of the hall, guarding the door.

  “Kitty! Where’s KITTY?” two leprechauns hurried out of the hall began calling out for Kitty. Seconds later two small footsteps of one leprechaun were heard approaching.

  “Here your majesty.” A small Leprechaun emerged from just outside the great hall. Under her soft blue, pointy hat flowed her long blond hair all the way down to her pretty pink skirt.

  “Kitty. The kingdom is doomed unless you take on this most noble quest.”

  She kneeled before the King, taking off her hat.

  “You must use the lightning spell, find the dog that talks and make it so it cannot.” He spoke in a loud, booming voice.

  “The lightning spell? But it’s ... remember what happened to dear old Famster ... god rest his soul ... most of him was never found ... and a flea bus?”

  “Silence! Your king orders you!”

  Kitty bowed her head again.

  “Sorry, your nobleness. Where is dis flea bus, oh great leader?” The king paused and took a breath before booming out his response.

  “Australia. Now GO!”

  “Where?” Kitty turned her face up to the king, pleading.

  “On the other side of ta ... world. Your majesty, ta homesickness ...”

  “I said do it!” Kitty bowed to the king and slowly left the room, leaving him alone again with Pillosh.

  “As for you, I tink a month of cleaning my shoe collection will remind you not to make spells dat put our secrecy and existence in danger. Go! And remember to wipe dat white gooey stuff from da toes inside. Pillosh crawled forward and took a pair of shows from the king, squinting and holding his nose as he did it.

  On the cobblestones outside in the bright sunlight Kitty laid her soft blue hat on the cobblestones. She pulled a purple ribbon from her pocket and tied her hair into a pony tail. After slowly pulling back on her hat she took out her pocket watch and wound it.

  “One day. Any more is too risky.” She said to herself pressing a button on her watch. And with that looked up to a dark grey cloud passing overhead, took a deep breath, pointed to the dark clouds and stomped her left foot on the ground. In a crack of thunder and a puff of smoke she was gone.

  --

  “It’s been two days, boy and no sign of any leprechauns.” Lauren and Coco were sipping pretend tea in her tree house. Coco nodded.

  “How will we know, again? I mean, they’re so small. And sneaky.” Lauren got excited every time Coco spoke, she just loved it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Meanie walking past her front gate. Lauren held up her tea cup.

  “Morning,” she said cheekily. Jeanie turned up her nose and walked on, accidently bumping into a jogger. Lauren laughed and patted Coco on the head.

  “Could life be any better,” she said smiling. “It is truly good to be us.”

  “Hello,” said Coco. “I asked a question.”

  “Oh, yes.” Lauren concentrated. “I’ve given this some thought. We watch the news. For leprechauns attacking dogs. I mean, think about it. They don’t know where we live. That sneaky little Pillosh might find the post office again but how will he know our address? And I put a fake return address on his package.”

  “So you’re saying,” said Coco, sounding a little British. “That if they come, they will be noticed. And meanwhile, if we don’t draw attention to ourselves they can’t possibly find us. Right?”

  Lauren patted him on the head again.

  “Brilliant, isn’t it?”

  “I guess,” said Coco. “Can I go back to chewing my bone now?”

  --

  A crack of lightning struck a tree across the street sending birds screeching off in fear.

  “Did you hear that?” Lauren asked.

  “Yes,” said Coco before closing his mouth and looking from side to side. Lauren could see a puff of white smoke wafting from a tree across the road. Then she spotted a small leprechaun hiding behind a parked park with a steely gaze fixed on Lauren’s house.

  “Look, Coco. It’s another leprechaun. How you they find us?” Lauren watched the leprechaun look from side to side. She froze when her eyes and Lauren’s met. Just then her Dad called out from the other end of the house.

  “Come on, Lauren. Bring Coco, we’re off to the dog park.”

  “Yes, Dad.” Lauren grabbed Coco and climbed down the ladder as quickly as she could. The family piled into the car in seconds and were doing up their seat belts. Coco and Lauren looked around for the leprechaun.

  “I don’t see her. I guess she does not want to be seen by a grown up,” she whispered to Coco. The car reversed onto the street and as it was driving off a small blur with a blue hat ran up to the car and hid underneath the bumper.

  In a few short minutes they had arrived at the park. Kitty waited until everyone was inside the dog park before carefully and quietly climbing up a nearby tree and hiding amongst the leaves. She watched Coco run free with the other dogs while Lauren and her parents walked to the opposite end.

  “There’s the flea bus. Now to make sure of the work of that no good Pillosh. Now,” she thought. “I have to remember that spell. I think this is it.” Kitty took aim with her finger and stomped her foot. Coco bumped into another dog.

  “Ow. Watch out!” The other dog said. Coco looked strangely at the Irish red setter.

  “Can you talk?” Coco asked.

  “Apparently,” the dog said and then dripped drool onto the ground. The other dog’s owner was standing a few feet away looking at him strangely.

  “Oh, no. I got the wrong dog.” Kitty pointed and stomped but just as she did another group of dogs ran into where Coco and the other dog were. The dogs were running amongst themselves, circling round and around in a big jumble. This made it almost impossible for Kitty to get a clear shot at Coco.

  “Hi.” “Hi.” “Hey there.” All the dogs began talking. Coco quickly ran over to Lauren.

  “Hey, quick. Look. These guys can talk too.”

  “Really? That’s strange.” Lauren heard leaves shaking in the tree behind her. She saw the girl leprechaun pointing at dogs and stomping. The dogs barked and spoke, spoke and barked. The girl was getting red in the face and holding her breath.

  “She’s casting spells! Why is she making all of those dogs talk?” Lauren whispered to Coco.

  “She looks angry, though.” Coco closed his mouth and looked from side to side.

  “Must be a strange leprechaun plot. I don’t like the look of this and I don’t want Mom and dad to know you can talk. Let’s get out of here.”

 
; In the park, owners were talking with their dogs. Their eyes wide in surprise and horror.

  “Really? But fluffy, I don’t want to scratch your itchy bottom. Can’t you reach it yourself?”

  “Rusty. Stop talking and just get in the car.”

  “But, Buster? Has your tooth been sore that long? But why is it you can talk?” One by one the talking dogs stopped talking and went back to barking again. Their owners looked at their dogs in shock, not knowing if their dogs had been really talking or if they were losing their minds.

  When Kitty had finally returned all the dogs to normal she looked around for Coco. She was surprised to see that she had not even noticed Lauren’s family car had gone. There were no clouds overhead. She pulled out her pocket watch and grit her teeth.

  “Arrgh! I guess I’ll have to walk,” she said angry and frustrated.

  --

  Kitty walked for many blocks until she was nearly back at Lauren and Coco’s house. But the long walk and constant hiding had made her very tired.

  “Oh, my wee tired legs, I must sit down.” She barely had the energy to trudge onto the lawn of the house next door and plopped down on the grass next to a large plastic ornamental emu.

  “Blarney stone, yeh?” She asked the emu but it did not answer. In a movement that took an enormous amount of effort she took off her pointy blue had and wiped the sweat from her brow and got a fright to see large black blotches on her hands.

  “Yurgh! Homesickness! I must return!” Just then Lauren stood on the front lawn where Kitty was. Lauren had been hiding in her yard, watching for the girl leprechaun to return.

  “Aha!” Lauren said, pointing an unlit torch at Kitty. “This is my magic wand. I can turn you into a toad, so don’t you move a muscle.” They stared at each other, neither moving, then finally Kitty spoke.

  “Daft girl, you ... can’t do ... magic,” she said in a tired, hoarse voice.

  “Yes I can. Give me light!” said Lauren as she pressed the button, and a bright light shone from the end of the torch. Kitty was unimpressed.

  “Can you ... magic ... me to ... Ireland?” she asked sarcastically.

  “Maybe.” Lauren had more authority in her voice. “Now, why have you come here? And why did you make those other dogs talk?”

  Kitty rolled her weary eyes slowly, she was barely awake.

  “Not making ... talk. Making ... not ... talk.” Kitty was whispering very softly. Lauren stepped forward, lowering her torch and turning off the light.

  “Why are you here?”

  Kitty closed her eyes and lay back on the grass. Her eyes opened and closed slowly.

  “Flea bus ... danger to ... us ... the clouds ... great king ...”

  “Are you alright?” Lauren put the torch in her pocket and held Kitty’s hand. “Are you sick?”

  Kitty managed a weak nod. “Homesick.”

  “Can he ... talk?” she whispered. So faintly Lauren had to lean close to hear.

  “He mostly barks,” Lauren answered cheekily.

  “To be sure,” she continued weakly. “Let me do the curse on your flea bus. We must be sure da doggie canno talk.”

  Lauren shook her head. She had to think of a reason without admitting he could talk.

  “You might hurt him. I won’t take that risk.”

  “Daft lassie,” Kitty whispered. “If not, the great king will send leprechauns, one after the other until he is sure.”

  Lauren stayed silent, thinking. Kitty coughed and Lauren noticed her finger tips had turned black. Kitty struggled with something in her pocket. Lauren pulled it out for her. It was an old pocket watch.

  “Just on one day,” Kitty whispered. “How did dat Pillosh last so long?” Her breathing was very shallow.

  “Can I get you something?”

  Kitty shook her head only the slightest bit and managed a faint smile.

  “Kind lass.” Kitty went still and looked far off into the sky. Lauren feared the worse and gave her a shake. A little colour returned to Kitty’s face and her eyes began to focus. A faint smile came to her tiny lips. Overhead a dark cloud was passing.

  “Will ... return.” She whispered and kicked Lauren’s shin with her left foot. Kitty turned into grey smoke, a crack of lightning struck the grass where Kitty lay and then she was gone.

  “Ow!” Lauren yelled and rubbed the red mark left from Kitty’s left boot. She looked up at the cloud and yelled.

  “And when you do, I’ll be ready.” Defiantly, she watched the cloud pass over expecting another lightening crack, but none came.

  --