Hate Me

by LP Lovell

  I press my lips to her forehead before I release her. She wordlessly slips from the car, closing the door behind her.

  As soon as I set foot inside the house, I go to the lounge and pour myself a drink. The whiskey warms my throat and settles in my stomach, but it doesn’t help with the mess of thoughts running rife through my mind. Someone clears their throat, and I look up to see Carlos lingering in the doorway, his hood pulled over his ball cap and his face cast in shadow. He’s holding a manila envelope at his side.

  “Got a minute?” he asks. I nod and lift my glass to my lips, swigging back the remainder of the amber liquid. Carlos comes into the room and takes a seat on the couch. I lean against the window, waiting.

  “I found information on Anna. One of the hackers managed to access a sealed file from her orphanage.”

  I frown. “Sealed? Why would a dodgy orphanage that sells children have sealed files?”

  He tosses the envelope on the table and glances up at me, his expression pinched. “Because it wasn’t them that sealed them.”

  He pushes to his feet and silently walks out of the room, leaving the envelope on the table. I guess it’s time to find out who Anna Vasiliev really is, and why she’s important enough to be priceless.

  The dial tone reverberates around my skull in time with my pounding pulse until it finally clicks off and Nero Verdi’s face appears on my laptop screen.

  “Rafael,” he says, swiping a hand over his face. His usually polished appearance is a little rough around the edges today. His hair looks like he’s been dragging his hands through it and the day-old shadow on his jaw matches those under his eyes.

  “Nero. We need to talk.”

  He tips his head back. “If you tell me that something has happened to the girl…”

  “She’s fine.”

  His gaze meets mine. “Good.”

  “I’m going to give you one last chance to tell me who she is,” I say.

  His eyes narrow and he leans back in his chair, saying nothing for long seconds. “You already know.”

  I shrug. “Call this a courtesy to an old friend.” He sighs. “I know that her sister is Una Vasiliev, changed ten years ago to Una Ivanov. Please tell me, Anna’s sister is not who I think she is…”

  He inhales a deep breath. “Her sister is Una Ivanov, and yes, she is Nikolai Ivanov’s ‘daughter’, but merely by favoritism, not blood.”

  “Angel de la Muerte.”

  He nods. “Anna is collateral for her sister.”

  “So you could use her to remove your competition.”

  A small smile pulls at his lips. “Something like that.”

  “And how exactly do you plan to use her?”

  “Simple. Una has been looking for her sister. I found her, and I know where she is.”

  “You’re not the only one who fucking knows where she is,” I growl. “Or who she is. I’m pretty sure Dominges has worked it out. He’s very keen to have her back. Having a master assassin in your pocket is always a plus, as I’m sure you know.”

  His jaw tightens. “No matter. My job with Una is done.”

  “So Anna is going to her?”

  “Not exactly.”

  Twenty-Seven

  Anna

  I can hear men walking up and down the hall, the low hum of voices resonating from downstairs. Something is happening. Opening the door, I find Lucas standing outside, leaning against the wall and looking bored.

  “What’s going on?” I ask him.

  He shrugs, straightening away from the wall. “No idea.”

  A man leaves one of the bedrooms down the hall, moving towards us. “Ask him,” I prompt, nudging him with my elbow.

  The man passes us. “Hey, do you know what’s happening?” Lucas asks him.

  He glances at us briefly. “Boss is moving to another house.” And then he walks away. Moving. Rafael is leaving, and he hasn’t said anything to Lucas or I, so does that mean he’s leaving me here? This strange panic creeps up my throat, and I inhale several deep breaths as an aching pain settles behind my ribs. I stumble towards the stairs, walking numbly through the house. People mill about, moving things, taking things, but leaving all the furniture.

  I find Rafael in his office, his chair turned away from the door as he barks orders into a phone.

  “I don’t care, just get it fucking done.” He hangs up and turns around, tossing his phone on the desk roughly. He pauses when he sees me, and the angry energy he wore only seconds ago seems to dissipate in a single exhaled breath.

  “Anna.”

  “You’re leaving,” I say, the accusation clear in my voice.

  He leans back in his chair, both eyebrows raised. “Yes.”

  I clench my jaw and swallow around the lump in my throat—the growing panic. I’ve become too vulnerable because he makes me feel safe. How many times have I told myself that safety is just an illusion? I know better than to grow attached to a man like Rafael D’Cruze, a bad man, a cartel boss, but it’s impossible not to feel…this for him, whatever this is.

  Fighting back the hurt and the fear, I nod my head. “Were you going to say goodbye?”

  He tilts his head to the side and crooks a finger at me, beckoning me forward. And of course, I go. When I’m standing in front of him, he grips my hips and tugs me onto his lap. My hand lands on his chest as I try to keep some distance between us, but he won’t allow it. His nose trails the length of my neck, inhaling along my skin. “I’m not sure I can ever say goodbye to you, little warrior.”

  My heart thumps awkwardly in my chest as I place my fingers against his lips, silencing him. “No goodbyes then,” I whisper.

  He kisses my fingers, and then takes my hand, turning it over and kissing my wrist. Such innocent touches compared to what I’m used to and yet each and every one sends a little thrill of energy through my body. Sparks seem to dart over my skin where his lips connect, and I want him to kiss me all the time. Every day. But he’s leaving, and this was always a limited time situation. I thought I’d lost the ability to feel emotions a long time ago, but this hurts, a deep throbbing ache that echoes with every strangled beat of my heart. I lean forward, pressing my forehead to his, wanting to revel in his closeness, the comfort of his touch. And his is the only touch I want because he is my exception to everything this cruel life has taught me. His fingers thread through my hair, kneading against the base of my skull.

  A small laugh breaks through his lips, warm breath caressing my face. “Anna, I’m not leaving you.”

  I frown and pull back to look into his eyes. “You’re not?”

  “Only death herself could take you from me,” he says, his voice hard.

  I fist a handful of his shirt, feeling the heat of his skin through the thin material. I stare at my hand, so small against the broad expanse of his bulk. “Don’t do that,” I whisper.

  His finger presses beneath my chin, slowly forcing my gaze to his. “Don’t do what?”

  “Don’t act like you won’t hand me over to Nero as soon as he wants me. This is just business remember.”

  His lips quirk. “Ah, avecita, this has gone far beyond business, and you know it.” His fingers trail over my jaw, leaving tingles in their wake. My eyes close for a second, and I listen to the sound of my hitching breaths.

  “You…confuse me,” I confess, opening my eyes.

  “It’s really very simple. I want you.”

  Guilt niggles at me. “Rafe…” I start.

  He presses a finger to my lips this time. “Not just your body, Anna. I want your darkness, your fire, your sheer will to survive.” His finger trails over my lips slowly. “I need this; your trust, the way you look at me as though I’m your savior, even when you know I’m really the monster.”

  “You’re not a monster, Rafe.” Far from it. In a way, Rafael and I both became something we hated in order to survive. That’s what we are, survivors. I lean forward and kiss him, allowing a little rush of excitement to fill me, the warmth of his lips to s
oothe me. “But I still belong to Nero,” I say sadly.

  He inhales a deep breath, holding my face as his lips linger over mine. “Things have changed. We need to talk.”

  He releases me, and I sit back, staring at him. “What things?”

  Leaning forward, he pulls open a drawer and takes out a large envelope. “Open it,” he says, handing it to me. I take the few papers from the envelope and discard it on the desk. There seem to be duplicates of everything, one in Russian and one in English. My gaze flies over the words, trying to absorb them as fast as I can. I frown. “This is just the orphanage records.” He removes the top pages until I come to another one. It’s a death certificate for Una Vasiliev, my sister. My heart plummets in my chest, the absolute demise of hope like a gaping, open void inside me.

  Rafael removes another page. This one is a photocopy of a passport, the picture of a face I would know anywhere, even though she looks older and different. Eyes the color of Amethyst stare out of the paper at me, but they lack any of the warmth I once knew. The passport name reads Una Ivanov.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I found out who you are. I know why Nero wants you.” I feel like I can’t breathe, as though everything pauses for a moment as I wait for his next words.

  “Is Una dead?” I ask, almost scared to have it confirmed.

  “No. Your sister has been looking for you. She wants you back.” She’s alive. After all this time. A smile breaks over my face, and a swell of emotion so foreign to me swells in my chest.

  “She’s alive,” I breathe. Rafael’s face is set in a stony, unreadable mask. I wait a moment. “Aren’t you happy for me?”

  “Anna, your sister is Una Ivanov, the prized assassin of the bratva, ‘daughter’ to Nikolai Ivanov. Nero bought you to bribe her into killing for him because he’s a fucking idiot.” He shakes his head. “But now the job is done.”

  Sudden realization washes over me. “You’re sending me back to her.” I used to dream of seeing my sister, but now…I don’t know her. She’s a stranger to me and a killer. I want to see her, but the thought of leaving Rafael to go to her…

  “That’s why I’m leaving. Nero doesn’t know where Una is anymore. She left.”

  “And went where?”

  “Her killing all of his targets has drawn attention. Someone put a hit out on her. He thinks she might be coming for you.”

  I frown. “She won’t hurt me.”

  “No, she won’t hurt you.”

  “Why would she—“

  He sits back and drags both hands through his hair. “She’s not the sister you remember, Anna, any more than you are as you were. Some call her the kiss of death, others the angel of death, and some even just death itself. She can get to anyone, anywhere. Your sister is arguably one of the best assassins in the world. And when she comes for you, because she will come, she will kill anyone she deems responsible for keeping you from her.” I don’t know what to say. What can I say? This is…surreal. “If I knew where she was, I’d take you to her, but I don’t. I could get you to Nero…”

  “But you didn’t keep me from her. Nero did. You kept me safe.”

  “She’s not the type to ask questions before she shoots. Nero warned me. She is coming, and she will kill me if she can.”

  I shake my head. “She can’t.”

  “Nero…” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “He asked for you. It seems he isn’t done with Una, and he thinks you’ll lure her to him.” His fingers sweep over my jaw. “I told him he couldn’t have you.”

  “You…what? Why?”

  He stares at me with so much intensity I can’t look away. “Because you are not a fucking possession. Because I won’t let him use you, and because you are mine.”

  “You want to own me?” I breathe.

  “No. I want to love you.” My heart beats so hard that I almost choke. I can feel little pieces of myself splintering and cracking under his words, my once solid walls weakening and trembling in his wake. Strange how in a mere second, everything you thought you wanted can change and something you never even considered becomes a rabid kind of craving. “But I’m giving you a choice,” he says. His eyes trace every inch of my face as though he’s committing it to memory. “Choose, avecita. Do you want to go to Nero where she will find you, or do you want to come with me?”

  TO BE CONTINUED…

  Hold Me

  Coming soon - Collateral Series book two. Available for pre-order now! Order here.

  Acknowledgments

  Behind every book is a team of people who helped bring it to life. There are so many people to thank for helping me with Hate Me.

  First off, Kerry Fletcher. Girl, you put up with so much. You’re like, part PA, part mother and part super hero. I love you!

  And on that note, Kerry, Jen and Autumn, you are the best betas ever. Thank you!

  Robert St Laurent....you are possibly the scariest cover model ever, but you did Rafael so well and I love it. Max Ellis...the only other person who is possibly as twisted as I am. You always get my morbid visions of what I want and both take the picture, and then design the cover accordingly.

  Claire Allmendinger of Bare Naked Words, thank you for your vigilant editing. Kimberley Foster-Holm, thank you for your eagle eyed proof reading.

  Emily Smith-Kidman of Social Butterfly PR, thank you for all that you do.

  Thanks to my lovely formatter, Leigh Stone, for making this book look so pretty and professional.

  Stevie...what can I say? I love you, whore.

  There are so many blogs and individuals who have helped me along the way and you are all hugely appreciated, but I have to acknowledge one in particular.

  Give Me Books and One-Click Addicts. I love you girls and I couldn’t do this without you. Mummy Kylie, organization queen and actual fucking goddess, thank you for your awesome PR and your ongoing support. You’re a star, and no one else can do what you do.

  There are so, so many people who have helped me, and you know who you are.

  I hope I haven’t missed anyone. Just know that anyone who has ever written a review, posted a teaser, or read any of my books...Thank you. Your ongoing support means the world.

  About the Author

  Sign up to LP Lovell and Stevie J. Cole’s newsletter and stay up to date: Join the Mailing List

  Lauren Lovell is a ginger from England. She suffers from a total lack of brain to mouth filter and is the friend you have to explain before you introduce her to anyone, and

  apologise for afterwards. She's a self-confessed shameless pervert, who may be

  suffering from slight peen envy.

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lplovellauthor

  Twitter: @Authorlplovell

  Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7850247.LP_L ovell

  Also by LP Lovell

  She Who Dares series:

  Besieged #1 Conquered #2 Surrendered #3 Ruined #4

  Wrong Series:

  Wrong Wrath Wire War

  Kiss of Death Series:

  Kill Me Kiss Me Hate Me

  War Series:

  War Poppy War Hope

  Bad Series:

  Bad Dirty

  Standalone:

  Absolution High The Game Tiger Shark