Mind Games

by Teri Terry

  I read the letter again: the instructions are so short as to be meaningless.

  But I have to do it. I have to know.

  I take a last look around me: I made this place? It’s my very own S’hack. Wow. Part of me wants time out – to just stay here, and hide.

  But what I have to do can’t be done here. Silver forms a door at my command, and I step out into the void.

  Blinding silver sears into the six beads in my hands, shedding light where all was darkness.

  The transport crash.

  Gecko; following him into the night. He kissed me, then led pursuit away, sacrificing his own freedom for mine.

  The S’hacker marks around my eye: something I rediscovered here on Inac.

  Being pulled into the van, alone. Heywood, Crystal and Tempo: the Worms.

  Astra’s memories, bathed in her love for me. Her warnings. Trust your intuition, Luna.

  And most of all, the anger: PareCo caused Astra’s death. Nanna’s death. Jezzamine and Danny, too.

  PareCo must pay.

  And Gecko: is he still a prisoner? Is his body somewhere on Inac?

  I’m coming for you, Gecko. This time I won’t let you chase me away.

  Now, I remember.

  What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do.

  Aristotle

  43

  I have to fight to make the silver arrows take me to Tempo, when everything inside screams Gecko. But she’ll know what to do – I hope it so much, it must be true.

  When they finally stop they are pointing at something completely different: a void space, like S’hacks or worlds, but when I look at it directly I can’t see it. A sideways glance shows curious silver patterns, like S’hacker marks; they vanish if I look straight at them. I try to form a door by wishing for it in the usual way. Nothing happens.

  Tempo: I concentrate on finding her. An arrow points to the same place again. She must be in there.

  I close my eyes, find my silver grid, and focus on the place she should be: it is slippery; a direct analysis yields nothing. But the area around where I’m trying to focus? There is something there, fuzzing it out, some sort of barrier to get through first. I wish for a door in the barrier instead. This time, it works.

  Through the door is a narrow passage surrounding another dark space inside. Can I make a door into it from here? Caution says go small, first. I make a peephole, and peer through.

  It’s like some sort of city council chamber – a dozen men and women sit in a semicircle, facing a small woman in a formal chair. And Tempo is one of them. All have intricate S’hackers marks around their left eyes, under a roof made of starshine. And they’re having a furious argument.

  ‘This is our best chance to find out what is happening on that island. Why are you being obstructionist?’ Tempo.

  ‘You know exactly why,’ a man says, shaking with anger so much that his whiskers are twitching. ‘The risks of activating this unknown power—’

  ‘She’s not a tool to be used or discarded, whatever her mother was thinking in her creation.’ A mild, chiding voice; the small woman in the big chair the others face. She looks somehow familiar. ‘She has the right to her own memories.’

  Their words are percolating through; the island. Her mother. Memories.

  Wait a minute. Are they talking about me?

  ‘We should put this to a vote,’ Tempo says.

  ‘I think the time for that has passed.’ The woman in the big chair gestures at the wall where I stand; a silver door forms in front of me, and opens. The others turn around in their seats, open-mouthed when they see me standing there.

  The shock on Tempo’s face is quickly replaced by delight. She jumps up and pulls me into the room for a hug. Lets go, but holds me at arm’s length, searching my face.

  ‘Darling girl! You’re all right.’

  There is furious sputtering behind her from Whiskers. ‘You were pretending to take this to the council when all the time you’d already activated the girl?’

  Tempo turns. ‘I did not. Luna? If you’re here, you must have retrieved your memories. How did this happen?’

  ‘I left a note to myself explaining how. In my S’hack.’

  ‘See?’ Tempo looks around the room, daring them to deny what I said.

  ‘But how did she find us, break through the barrier of nothing we set around the council?’ Whiskers again. ‘This has never been done. That is your proof: she is dangerous.’

  ‘She may be merely curious.’ This from the big chair. ‘Let her tell her story.’

  Thirteen pairs of eyes are looking at me for answers.

  ‘Just one thing first. Who are all of you?’

  The woman in the big chair smiles. ‘Fair enough. We are COS, the Council of Scientists. I’m Media, the current chair. Your mother was the chair many years ago, and despite what she did, is greatly missed.’

  ‘What do you mean – what she did?’

  ‘There were disagreements on the ethics of certain genetic projects; she continued without sanction.’ She looks uncomfortable.

  ‘Certain genetic projects. You mean me, don’t you?’

  ‘This is old history; there are matters for today. Come, Luna.’ She pulls a chair out of the air. ‘Have a seat. Tell us your story.’

  I look to Tempo; she nods. So I do: beginning with becoming aware in the café, and getting taken to the hospital in London. Then Inaccessible Island, and being tricked into agreeing to an Implant. The MD Gateway with doors to all the worlds; the combat and training worlds. Hex’s group, gone. And Gecko, locked in a world he creates and destroys, over and over again. And how I found the Council today.

  ‘Thank you, Luna,’ Media says. ‘We need to consider what the next course of action should be. For now, continue as you were with PareCo. We’ll come up with a plan.’

  ‘What about Gecko?’

  ‘That is very disturbing. We’ll work out what we can do to help him. Leave him alone for now, Luna.’

  I keep my mouth shut. But that so isn’t happening.

  Does Media read my face? ‘Be patient, Luna. We’ll do what we can. For now, go back to the game world you’re supposed to be in with the other interns. Hopefully no one has noted your absence.’

  Dismissed so they can argue some more about what to do with me? Anger is swelling inside, but when I glance at Tempo, she gives a small shake of her head.

  ‘Come, Luna. I’ll show you out,’ Tempo says, and we go through the double doors to the void.

  She squeezes my shoulder. ‘So lovely to see you. I caught your trace in the void a few times, but you were always gone before I could find you.’

  ‘But you sent the beads that were following me around to remind me about the necklace, didn’t you? And the words that helped me in the void. Spelled in silver.’

  She pauses. ‘Just so.’ She smiles. ‘There have been rumours about the existence of the MD Gateway you mentioned. Tell me about it, every detail. How do you get into it?’

  ‘If you plug in to an MD-PIP it can take you straight there, but it doesn’t always. PareCo must control it. And before I had an Implant, there was a path to it through the void from my Realtime hallway.’

  ‘And inside the Gateway? Describe it.’

  ‘At first it seems an ordinary sort of room with lots of doors. But if you walk, the room spins and grows: there are doors on the walls, floor and ceiling, and it’s immense.’

  ‘Are there doors to all PareCo worlds through the Gateway?’

  ‘So they said. Why’s it important?’

  She smiles. ‘I’m not sure yet. I need to think about this some more.’

  She says goodbye, promises to find a way to help Gecko, and rushes back to COS. She’s excited by what she’s learned f
rom me, what she can do with the information.

  What we can do with it.

  I should do as she says. Go back to the Slated world, back to my group. To the competition we are trying to win against the Lorders. I struggle to control the silver arrows, to make them take me there, but it is hard when I don’t really want to go. Flickering arrows form and I walk, dragging my feet.

  Something is niggling inside, something skipped over as being of little interest to the council. What has happened to Hex and the rest of his group? It should have been my group. If it still had been, by now I’d know.

  Isn’t that part of the whole mystery of this place?

  I’ve reached the dark shape that is the Slated world. I should go in; the less I make PareCo suspicious, the better.

  But Hex’s Implant was not found the last time I tried. He was so on – always. He’d never voluntarily turn his Implant off like I did. The worry inside is growing. The least I can do is try, one more time.

  Implant on.

  ‘Hex?’

  A few seconds pass, and then—

  Ding.

  ‘Heh, Luna!’ Hex appears in front of me. ‘How’re you doing?’ His eyes look around. ‘Tell me you’re not lost in the void.’

  ‘You can see where I’m calling from?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Then why can’t I see where you’re calling from?’ All I have is Hex, with a fuzzy outline around him. As if he is completely nowhere.

  ‘No idea. Maybe because of my top secret assignment.’

  ‘So what are you doing, then?’

  He gives me a look. ‘Didn’t I just say top secret?’

  ‘Tell me anyway.’

  ‘I can’t. But it’s awesome with awesome sauce on.’

  ‘So you’re all right? Really?’

  ‘Me? I’m absolutely fine. But where have you been? I was really worried when I couldn’t get in touch with you before we left.’

  ‘Where’d you go?’

  ‘Don’t try to be sneaky. Are you all right, Luna?’ His eyes, so concerned, so familiar.

  I sigh. ‘Wish you were here.’

  ‘Lost in the void? Thanks a lot!’

  ‘I’m not lost. I’m standing by a door to the VeeDub I’m supposed to be in. I’m fine.’

  ‘Hmm. Not buying the everything is all right line. Anything you can tell me? Maybe I can help.’

  I hesitate. I want to tell him; to warn him about PareCo, if nothing else. But should I?

  ‘Luna? Come on, this is me. Spill.’

  ‘It’s PareCo. They’ve been manipulating the tests for their own purposes. And I think they’ve been experimenting on me with drugs, through the PIP.’

  ‘Heh, wait a minute. Is that how you turned me psychedelic blue?’

  ‘I’m serious, Hex. Not just that. They kill people, too.’ Like my mother.

  ‘Wow. That’s heavy. You need to talk to somebody.’

  ‘Somebody, who – like a psychologist?’

  He glares. ‘No. If you really think all that is true, then NUN, or the police. Listen. Sit tight; don’t say anything to anybody. I’ll see if I can come up with something.’

  I shake my head. ‘Don’t do anything. Don’t make them notice you. I just wanted you to know, so you can be careful. I’ve got things under control.’ Tempo and I have got things under control. I hope.

  ‘What are you up to, Luna?’

  I mime zipping my lips. ‘You’re on a top secret mission, aren’t you? Well, so am I. That’s all I’m going to say.’

  ‘Fair, I suppose.’

  ‘Gotta go, Hex.’ He waves, and I sign off.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I hope he won’t get into trouble because of it.

  44

  Media’s right. I should go back to the Slated world, but the arrows won’t cooperate. Every time I try, I think of Gecko.

  When I finally stop fighting it, the arrows strengthen. That comforts me somehow. The arrows didn’t want to take me to the Slated world, but silver approves of going to Gecko.

  This time I concentrate very hard on being taken directly to Gecko, and not just to his world. And hope he’s not still standing in a ruined, flooded building.

  A silver door forms.

  I open it, peer through: is it safe?

  It’s dark, quiet. Dry. Good enough. I step through; the door shuts behind me, and vanishes.

  My eyes adjust; I’m in a house. Windows show it is night. And Gecko is lying on a sofa, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

  ‘Heh,’ I say.

  He turns, sits up. ‘You came back?’ Surprise in his voice.

  ‘Well, yeah; I must enjoy near-death-by-tsunami.’ I sit next to him. A window looks out on a scene of devastation. We’re above it all – in a house on the hill? ‘I like what you’ve done with the place. Will you rebuild?’

  He shrugs. ‘Eventually I’ll get so bored and lonely that I’ll have to: I’ll make something lovely, so they’ll send more people to be here when I knock it down again. What else is there to do?’

  ‘So you’re still trapped, like you were in your S’hack.’

  ‘Yes. It was either stay alone in a small dark box forever, or this: build a world for PareCo. I hate that they’ve made me do what they want! But I couldn’t take being locked in my S’hack alone any longer. But this—’ and he raises his hands, ‘this isn’t freedom. I’m completely and thoroughly trapped. There’s no way out. That’s how I started out with the disasters. I kept trying something worse, kept hoping I’d die and get out on escape code. But none of it ever touches me.’

  ‘Tempo said she’d try to find a way.’

  ‘Somehow I don’t think I’m top priority.’ His voice is bitter.

  ‘Maybe. But I don’t agree.’

  ‘Thanks for coming back. Sorry I was such an ass before. I regretted it the instant you left.’

  ‘Yes, you were an ass. But I’ll let it go. This time.’

  ‘Now tell me your stuff. Tell me everything.’

  So for the second time in a day I find myself recounting everything that has happened since I got to the island.

  When I’m done he leans back. Shakes his head. ‘I so wish you hadn’t come to Inac, Luna. Nothing good happens here.’

  ‘What has happened to you?’

  A struggle – and pain – cross his face.

  ‘Don’t try to talk. Not if it hurts. You can’t tell me anyway, can you?’

  ‘No. Sorry. But there is more stuff you could tell me.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘How’d you know you needed to unplug from the training world; how did you know your body was in trouble?’

  My biggest secret. I gaze back at Gecko: do I tell? Intuition says yes.

  ‘All right. You know how I take ANDs. That’s only part of the problem I have with plugging in. I’ve got double awareness.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Like I’m here, but my body is fully aware all the time, too. That’s why I get so exhausted if I don’t take breaks from plugging in. I don’t sleep. So it’s like I’m awake all the time.’

  Before he can reply, a door creaks. It opens.

  I hold up a hand for Gecko to be quiet, and focus back on my body in the PIP.

  ‘We’re moving the schedule for this one up to today.’ A voice. Dr Rafferty? I open one eye a fraction and look through my lashes. It’s Rafferty, and two others. In white coats.

  They’re doing something to my PIP. I access my silver grid to watch through it: they’re disconnecting stuff, but not unplugging me?

  Gecko tugs my hair lightly. ‘What’s up?’

  ‘Something’s happening with my body.’

&nbs
p; ‘Tell me.’

  ‘They’re disconnecting things. The main neural connector is still attached to me, but they’re unhooking it from the room PIP and connecting it to something else. I’m not unplugged.’

  ‘Clearly, as you’re still here.’

  ‘Shut up a minute.’

  I concentrate back there. Hands are reaching around my body, lifting it, and it’s really hard not to react – not to slap them away. I don’t dare open my eyes with people so close, but feel them moving me onto something else. Straps are put across my shoulders and legs. Then there is movement. I risk a peek just as we’re coming out of the door of the PIP. Rafferty is walking ahead, and one of them is controlling a remote, watching me – it must make the trolley I’m on move along.

  ‘This is weird. It’s like I’m still plugged in – yes, I know, as I’m still here – but my body is being moved. They’ve detached part of the PIP, hooked it into a mobile unit on a trolley. What the hell is going on?’

  ‘Sit up and ask?’

  ‘Don’t tempt me. I can find out more stuff if they don’t know I’m aware.’ I glance at Gecko; his face is actually grey. ‘What is it?’

  ‘I…I…don’t know. I can almost say something, then I can’t.’

  ‘Because of your Implant blocks?’ He nods. ‘Wait. Are they related to what is happening to me?’

  A struggle crosses his face.

  ‘Never mind. We’ll guess that it is.’

  I focus back on my body. We’re going down a hall, through a security door and into a lift. Going down, down. I didn’t know there were levels this far below; they must be underground. The lift stops, we get out and go through another security door.

  Pristine white walls; a disinfectant smell. It’s like a hospital or something?

  I’m wheeled into a room. They move away, talking, and I risk more of a look around.

  Definitely a hospital: equipment, monitors, instruments laid out on a cart. And tank-like things to the side.

  They link my PIP into something else: I watch with the silver grid. Drugs. They’re hooking me up to drugs? The second they turn away I stop it, but not before a woozy feeling hits. It soon subsides.