The Minotaurs of Maze World

by Eddie Patin

  As they walked through the humid woods, Jason was aware of tiny raptors dodging around in the underbrush. He saw more of the four-winged crow-things—what he now knew were Microraptors—hopping and gliding constantly through the lower branches of the trees.

  Most of the dinosaurs stayed away from them. They hadn't run into anything larger than a household cat.

  Jason 934 spoke up after a while.

  "After we kill the minotaur on my world," he said, "we'll bring you back and help you with Riley and Gliath and the minotaur on your own."

  "I know," Jason 1241 replied. Then he sighed. "I'm sure my minotaur is dead by now. Yeah—they're super-tough, but if a shitload of cops surrounded it, they've had to overwhelm eventually. My whole world's probably fucked up now; the existence of minotaurs on the news and all."

  "Maybe," Jason 934 said, feeling a twinge of guilt. "But with infinite probabilities, I guess your world was kind of ... bound to have that happen, right? You're from the universe where I appeared and all of that stuff happened."

  Jason 1241 glared at him. "Yeah, I guess." They walked on for a while, then he added, "I don't think I can go home for a while. I bet the cops are looking for me."

  "You can stay with me, of course. We'll scope out your house when we go back for your Riley and Gliath, okay?"

  "Okay."

  Just then, Jason 1241 paused, looking down at his boots in surprise.

  "What?" Jason 934 asked.

  "I kicked something metal." He smiled. "Look!"

  Jason 1241 bent down and strained at a mass of something in the foliage. After pulling with a groan and a grimace, whatever he was tugging at came free with a tearing sound, and the man walked up with a grin and a tangle of dense, tiny green vines in his hand.

  Jason 934 looked.

  "Oh my God! Holy shit!" he exclaimed with his own grin, taking the mass from Jason 1241.

  It was his Glock 26—the one he'd thrown at the cannibal when he ran out of ammo before! Now the pistol was mostly-demolished by the weird little vines that kept tearing Jason's shelter apart before he took up residence in the spider cave. Those tiny vines had woven their way into the gun through the barrel, magwell, into the little crevices between the slide and the frame, through the tiny holes around the take-down levers—all over—and they'd pulled the gun apart! In the tangled mass of green tendrils, the Glock was in pieces, all wrapped up in strangling clump of tiny vines.

  "Just like with the shelter!" Jason 1241 exclaimed, allowing himself to keep smiling.

  "Weird shit," Jason 934 replied with a broad grin and a sigh, looking down at his lost weapon. "What are the odds of us running into this? Holy shit..."

  He wadded up the torn ends of the vines, pushing the entire disassembled package of his Glock together, and shoved it into his pack. Maybe parts of it were broken, like the trigger assembly, and maybe parts of the polymer frame were crushed—he couldn't tell—but Jason figured that the slide had to be okay. Glocks were freaking invulnerable. At the very least, he could hang onto it as a memento.

  Jason 1241 looked up at the setting sun. "We should head back."

  "Okay."

  They turned to the south again and started the walk back. As they did, Jason 934 watched the valley. On the other side, across from where they were, he knew that the cannibal base was deep in the trees there, but there was no glow of any fires. The primitive creatures didn't have the wyvern anymore to steal fire from.

  Halfway back to the cave, both Jasons froze when they heard a snap of a branch up the hill to the west. Both dropped into a crouch in the ferns at the same time, shouldering their Rigby rifles simultaneously.

  A freezing screw of fear turned and bored its way through Jason's belly as he peered into the woods toward the sound. Even though he had the other Jason with him, and they were both armed with big game rifles, he still couldn't help but feel a sense of dread for the big predators he knew were out there. He imagined the mini-rexes stalking around in the trees out of sight. Albertosaurs, he thought, correcting himself. The Albertosaurs were fast and their toothy heads were big enough to kill Jason with one big bite before ripping him in half to fight over...

  But the sound didn't come from an Albertosaurus.

  A lone ostrich dinosaur stood still in the woods. Its cream and spotted feathers hid it from sight initially, but Jason spotted it when it turned its head to look in a different direction. If it hadn't moved its head, Jason wouldn't have seen it.

  He looked at Jason 1241 and saw his second self pointing at it excitedly.

  Jason held up a finger. Wait, he motioned, and pulled up his OCS. After silently unlocking its screen, he pointed the scanning laser at the dinosaur and took a reading.

  Ornithomimus velox, 98% match. Universe 312, the Wilderlands.

  Ornithomimus! Jason thought. He knew that name—he'd just forgotten in the years that had passed since he was obsessed with dinosaurs.

  Jason 934 smiled at Jason 1241, showing him the screen, then carefully lowered the OCS back to his side and motioned for 1241 to take the shot.

  His second self nodded, braced his Rigby against a tree, then flicked off the safety. The man focused and aimed. Jason 934 knew that the other Jason was slowing down his breathing just like he did, probably letting all of his breath out...

  When Jason 1241 fired, the rifle went off louder than Jason 934 had expected. He threw his hands up to protect his ears, pained by a sting in his eardrums that he'd been feeling far too often lately. He was so shocked by the concussive force of the .416 going off near him that he forgot to watch the dinosaur.

  He looked, and it was gone...

  "Did you get it?" Jason 934 asked. His ears were ringing.

  Jason 1241 stared over his sights, watching, then broke his focus and cycled the bolt. He stood, so Jason 934 did too.

  "No," he replied. "It spooked just as I shot and I'm pretty sure I missed. It was hard to see."

  "Damn," Jason 934 said. "Do your ears hurt?"

  "Yeah."

  "We should check it out just in case. See if it's dead, or if there's any blood."

  "Okay," Jason 1241 replied glumly.

  There wasn't any blood, or a body. Jason 1241 had clearly missed. That egg thief dinosaur was really skittish and had wired senses. It was amazing that Jason had killed one before, and with a spear! But that was a perfect ambush. He smiled at the memory.

  The two Jasons hiked back to the wyvern's cave, frequently looking to the west and watching as the sun changed the colors of the sky...

  Chapter 31

  "Do you need a deposit?" Jason asked, watching the repair estimator scribble on the three-color-copy form hooked sloppily to a beat-up, metal clipboard. The sunset back on Earth was just beginning and Jason 934 faced the east, looking out of the open front of his garage as the overhead door contractor finished up his quote.

  "Nah," the man said. "It's a small job. Just sign here and you can pay when the job's done, right after the walk-through."

  He handed the clipboard over and Jason quickly skimmed over the chicken-scratch writing detailing a new metal garage door with windows on the upper panel for about $1200. There were stipulations and many tight, small-font blocks of text on the backside of the triplicate form, but Jason didn't bother to read it all. He understood that they'd be replacing his garage door, taking away all of the pieces of the old one, and that he'd be paying them promptly at the end of the job. Jason signed his name and wrote in the date after checking it on his phone. He was surprised to see that today was Saturday. Planeswalking really made him totally lose track of the days.

  "How soon can you put in the new door?" he asked.

  The estimator stared at Riley's portable gate for a moment deep in the back of the garage, scratched his stubbly chin, and looked like he was about to ask about the device. Then he looked back at Jason and smiled.

  "Two days, Mr. Leaper," he replied, taking the clipboard back. "Monday morning should work. Probably around ten. Your measurements
are standard, so I should have everything I need in stock already. You picked a door that I already have at the warehouse. Easy peasy."

  When they'd returned from the Wilderlands, it was still afternoon. When Jason had called some garage door contractors—the first two didn't answer the phone—this one had agreed to head over to do an estimate immediately.

  "The sooner the better," Jason said.

  "Oh, of course!" the man replied with a smile, tearing the pink copy off of the back of the packet. He handed the pink sheet to Jason. It was a duplicate of the estimate and Jason's signature. "You don't want an open garage! If anything goes wrong, Mr. Leaper, I'll let you know, but I'm pretty sure I've got everything you need. I'll be here Monday morning."

  "Okay, thanks. Good to meet you. I'll see you Monday."

  "You got it, Mr. Leaper. See you then. Ten o'clock."

  The contractor walked down the driveway, past Jason's beat-up car, back to his little pickup truck parked on the street, and left.

  Jason looked down at the pink form and sighed.

  How many times would his adventures mess up his parents' house? He laughed and turned toward the portable gate. So far, that thing had just been in the way. He'd have to have Riley and Gliath break it back down again and put it away in case they ever really needed it. Up until now, Jason had just been using it because it looked cool. But they didn't need it now. It was just taking up space and looking weird to strangers.

  He walked out into the driveway, pulled out his keys, and moved his car back into the garage. He'd pulled it out so that the overhead door guy could take measurements and whatever else he needed to do, but now that the guy was gone, Jason's little Ford Escort with a dent and broken window on the left side would help a lot blocking the back of the garage from sight.

  Up Kestrel Drive, the emergency vehicles were all gone now and the fire had been put out. There were still some police cars up there, but their blue and red lights weren't flashing anymore.

  The concrete in the garage was clean of minotaur blood and viscera, and all of their hides and other 'loot' had been stacked neatly on the stainless steel tables and covered with a tarp. Jason stopped to touch the wyvern eggs, feeling them for movement or heat. Cool dread rumbled in his insides at the idea of one or both of them suddenly hatching on his property. Maybe Riley could find someone to sell them to before they did—if they ever did.

  It sure was a good thing that Jason's father had set up the garage for game processing. All of that stainless steel stuff—the long table, deep sink, hose and drain and other storage—sure was coming in handy now.

  Jason's ears had definitely been damaged. And if being in the Wilderlands for several hours earlier had healed at all, then Jason 1241's shot at the Ornithomimus had ruptured his eardrums again. Jason 934 would have to spend more time hanging around the wyvern's cave to heal up the hearing damage, and he figured that he'd need to put some thought and research into ways to protect his ears while out on future bounties. There were various 'hunting ears' and other electronic devices designed to allow (or even enhance) hearing while blocking out higher decibel sounds like gunshots or whatever, but what a pain in the ass. There were electronic ear muffs, but Jason couldn't imagine pausing to put them on before a battle. How does the military do it? he wondered, making a mental note to Google it later.

  By the time Riley, Gliath, and Jason 1241 returned, just after sundown, Jason 934 was sitting in his armchair in the living room drinking a beer and watching a movie. He frantically grabbed the remote and paused the show as they opened the back door and came in.

  The three of them trounced through the kitchen and hall into the living room to find him. Jason 934 could smell perspiration and odor of wet fleece. He figured that Jason 1241 had probably sweat up a storm hiking around trying to keep up with the two planeswalkers. He had no idea why his second self had insisted on tagging along for the scouting mission.

  "Did you find it?" Jason 934 asked, sitting up straight.

  "Not yet," Riley replied, slipping his Marlin lever-action rifle's sling off of his shoulder. He pulled off his hellhound-hide duster and hung the tall coat—wet along the bottoms from snow—from Jason's hat rack near the front door. Then he thought twice and put it on again. "It's not around the area where you tracked it to at all."

  "Yeah, it went around the ridge," Jason 934 said. "I told you that. Gliath? Any sign of the alpha?"

  The leopardwere stood behind Riley and the other Jason, a head taller than both men, sleek and regal. His yellowish-green gaze met Jason's with no expression in his black, feline face.

  "Yes, Jason Leaper 934," the Krulax rumbled. "There is faint sign and blood from its wounds, as you described. I tracked the alpha minotaur around the ridge into the mountains on the other side for a time—"

  "And you guys turned back?" Jason asked. He felt surprise and a strange sense of indignation. They needed to strike while the iron was hot! They were on its trail and ... turned around?

  "Jason," Riley said, cocking his head. "I know it's kind of pressing and all, but you know what else is pressing?"

  "What?"

  "Getting all of those hides to Skinner before other hunters fill the cap."

  "More pressing than stopping a rampaging monster on Earth from killing people here and blowing open this whole monsters are real and so are other dimensions thing?!"

  Riley sighed and scratched his beard, looking at Jason with an expression of forced patience. "Well it's not rampaging right now. It's hiding in the mountains. And it's almost dark."

  "Can't you see in the dark?"

  "We'll hunt it down tomorrow, okay?" Riley offered with a smirk. "Now, things on Maze World were a little ... eh ... chaotic, right? But by my count, we have something like six more hides to sell? Seven including the alpha you and your other Jasons killed, but I assume you're giving that one to Athelos, right?"

  "Yeah."

  "So that's about sixty ounces of gold. Maybe a little more if Skinner pays extra for Rush's alpha. That's a pretty big fruking deal that we don't want to miss out on, yeah?"

  Jason sighed and slumped back into his chair. He took a sip of his beer and tossed the remote over to the coffee table, where it skittered to a stop.

  "Yeah, I guess. Let's go..."

  Riley smirked and stood straight. He clapped the other Jason on the shoulder, who grimaced and looked down at the carpet with dead eyes.

  Jason 1241 looked up at Jason 934. "Oh, you should know, there are cops and animal control over the ridge too. They're hiking around in the woods, probably looking for a big, loose bull."

  "Great," Jason 934 muttered.

  "So Jason," Riley said, adding, "uh ... Jason 934," when both looked at him. "Did you meet with the door contractor?"

  "Yeah. He'll be back Monday to install the new garage door at ten."

  "Great," the soldier replied with a smile. "How much will it cost?"

  "$1200."

  Riley smirked as if trying to make a statement. "If I'm understanding your currency correctly, then that's the same as three or four infinity crystals."

  Jason 934 blinked.

  The point was made.

  If Jason could keep up with this Reality Rifter lifestyle—and not get killed in the process—he'd make a hell of a lot of money hunting monsters on other worlds. He wondered if all of the bounties were paid in gold. Hell—if he started making tons of gold, he'd have to find other alternative Earths to go to so that he could exchange gold into cash without drawing too much attention, which he might do by cashing it in exclusively back home. Multi-world money laundering. He laughed.

  "Alright, I get it, Riley," he said. "This is the good life."

  "Is it?" the soldier asked. "Are you into it? Think you'll want to keep going?"

  "Definitely," Jason 934 replied with a smile. He sipped more beer. "Ever since we turned in those first three hides, I've been hooked."

  "Good," Riley said.

  When Jason looked over to his second self to s
ee how the other was reacting, he saw Jason 1241 looking down. He was stuck inside himself again. Very sad.

  "Did you grab more infinity crystals while you were healing up there?"

  "Yep. About forty."

  "What happens if we ever run out of the infinity crystals in the cave?" Jason 934 asked. "What if we collect all there are in there and can't find anymore?"

  The soldier shrugged, reaching up to scratch Gliath behind an ear. The leopardwere purred with a deep, rolling sound and pressed his big head against Riley's hand. "In my experience," Riley said, "worlds with infinity crystals like that usually have them everywhere in the ground. It's part of their makeup. We'll just have to dig. Or find more caves."

  Riley, Gliath, and Jason 1241 broke up to put things away, get food and drink, and freshen up for a trip to the Market. Jason 934 turned off his movie and eventually wandered into the kitchen, where he saw Gliath eating a can of Zelda's cat food, clinking a fork around to fish out all of the gross-smelling mush inside.

  Eventually they all ended up in the garage taking inventory of everything they'd be bringing to Zayden Skinner and the other merchants of Churn.

  The tally of minotaur hides was fantastic. They'd acquired ten in total. Three were already sold, and they had four with them still that had previously belonged to Rush Watson and Tommy Whisper—may they rest in peace if their souls exist—along with the hide of an alpha that Riley figured that his buddy had killed before being murdered. There was also the minotaur that they'd killed on the way to finding Rush's attacked camp, and finally, the hide from the alpha minotaur that the three Jasons had killed together.

  "Ten hides," Riley said with a smirk. "Exactly what I wanted."

  "Except you won't be turning in ten, right?" Jason 934 asked. "One's for the tailor"

  "It's true, Jason," the soldier replied, crossing his arms. "But that's alright. Nine's still impressive, I guess."

  "We didn't kill all of them, either."

  "Hey," Riley said with a frown. "Don't remind me."

  There were also the junky Nothrix railguns that Jason had carted along during Riley's rampage, as well as the rest of the bugs' equipment that the soldier had stolen from their camp. Riley also still had his wyvern eggs from the cave in the Wilderlands and was determined to bring them along again in hopes of finding a buyer.