by Lexy Timms
“Just...” That sparkle in his eyes drove her crazy. “Before, you’ve been really anxious about anything medical-related in front of me. And right now you’re acting fine.”
Oh, he’s right. She added the last pill to the small pile on the counter. “That doesn’t mean I want to talk about it.”
“You want to talk about us, but you won’t talk about this?”
Lillian didn’t say anything as she sat back down and swallowed the pills one by one with her coffee.
“How about this.” He sounded like he was deliberating something. “How about I tell you one thing, and you tell me one thing. Something we wouldn’t normally talk about.”
“You just want me to talk about the meds.”
“Not the meds,” he replied simply. “I want you to talk about you. And how I can help you be better.”
“That’s two things.”
“Take two turns, then.”
“Cayden.” She put her elbows on the table and rubbed her forehead.
“Oh no, not the face rub.”
“Yes, the face rub. I’m still processing last night.”
His eyes rested on her plate. “I know. It sucked. But the fact that you were hurt at all tells me that you care about me.”
“All right, Dr. Phil. But what about you?”
He just looked at her.
“What are you feeling?” When she asked it, she saw the little gleam in his smile fade.
He sat back in the chair and laced his fingers together. “This will be my first thing.”
Uh-oh, did I just spark something bad?
“Bear with me while I try to speak in words that girls understand best.” Lillian knew he meant it to be silly, but his voice was serious. “Last night hurt me because it reminded me of a bad feeling.”
“I’m sorry, Cayden. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay, just listen. I want to be honest with you. I was a freshman in high school when I found out my mom had been having an affair for a decade.”
Shit.
“My dad found out by accident. I don’t know exactly how. But I got home from school that day and I’ve never seen someone lose their soul and it show in their face.” He stared into the distance, lost in the memory. “I never saw him really, truly happy again. It helped when Mom moved out soon after. I pretty much lost touch with her.”
Lillian brought her feet up onto the chair and hugged her knees.
“So, when I got my first girlfriend towards the end of high school, I made sure to keep it honest and keep my distance from solo contact with other girls. Of course, I don’t look or act like the type that stays devoted to one person. But seeing my dad like that—and not just him, but also how my mom wilted like a flower—changed my perspective on relationships totally.”
“Cayden, I never meant for you to bring this up. I’m so—”
“That’s why I said I’m glad you did.” He took a sip of coffee from his mug. “I’ve never cheated on anyone I’ve dated. Like, been in a relationship with. But I’ve been cheated on. A girlfriend in college. I caught her.”
“Oh crap,” Lillian breathed.
“It’s whatever; I’m over it. When there’s no real label of what’s going on with someone, though, it’s that gray line. And sometimes there never gets to be a label. But when it comes up, that’s a different matter.”
“I’m...”
“Seriously, don’t say ‘sorry’ or anything like that.”
“You’re brave, Cayden.”
He looked up. “How so?”
“After seeing that happen with your parents, and after going through that yourself, it’s pretty amazing you even kept getting into relationships at all. Dared to take the risk, I mean.”
“You know...” Cayden flexed his muscles and put his hands behind his head, “underneath this tough, sexy exterior, I’m actually a sappy romantic.”
“Chick flicks and all?” Lillian tried to keep her eyes on his face, but couldn’t help looking at his biceps.
“Wine, cheese, the whole shebang. It makes me irresistible or something, I guess.” With a wink, he lowered his arms. “There’s my sad story. Your turn. Actually, no. Finish your breakfast first.”
“Is that a command?”
“Absolutely.”
Cayden, based on the pancakes, was a good cook. She didn’t mind the quiet between them while she finished at her own pace. The whole time he sat there, staring out the window until Gray Cat leapt onto his lap and made herself at home.
Lillian couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of her cat.
She swallowed the last bite. “My compliments to the chef.”
“Thank you, thank you. I would bow, but I’m currently unable to do so.” He rubbed his nose on Gray Cat’s face, and from the other side of the table she heard purring loud and clear.
“She likes you.”
“She’s not the only one.” He looked at Lillian. “That sounded better in my head.”
“I’m starting to gather that a lot of comments of yours sound better in your head.”
“Sounds about right. Listen, we don’t have all day. Chop, chop.”
“I don’t have an option of what to talk about?”
“Technically you do, but you know what I’m interested in.”
His face was so genuine she felt much more at ease. She started with the minor health problems a couple of years ago, running through the tests and doctor’s appointments and colonoscopies and scans until finally they arrived at the diagnosis of Crohn’s. Seeing the confusion on his face as he tried to piece it all together, she explained in clear terms what it meant, just like she told Amelia’s mother.
“That sounds...not fun. No offense.” He gave an embarrassed laugh.
“It’s not. But I don’t have it as bad as a lot of people.”
“Really?” His eyes flickered to the bottles.
“Well, I don’t have it easy either. I have to work extra hard to get enough nutrients and keep track of foods that trigger flare-ups.”
He thought about it for a few seconds. “Is it dangerous?”
“I do really good keeping it under control. There’s not a lot to worry about at this point, I think. Stress is a big trigger for me.”
“I’m guessing I haven’t exactly helped with that.”
She waved him off. “It’s fine. I let myself get stressed a lot.”
Gray Cat raised her head to sniff at the remaining syrup on Cayden’s plate. “Stop that. Syrup isn’t good for you, kitty,” he said, gently pushing the cat’s head aside with his big hand. “Okay, is it my turn?”
Glancing at the clock, she replied, “I believe we’ve got time for one more.”
“I like you and I want a label on this.”
She didn’t realize what he had said until afterwards. It all came out in one blurt and she felt her face become cherry-red just as quickly. “What?”
“You heard me.”
At a loss, she fumbled for a response. “But, Cayden, why me? I mean, you train and hang out with hot women. Strong ones. Ones who like to party and have fun and have a big social circle.” As she spoke, visions of all the women he probably came into contact with weekly flashed in her mind. “I’m the opposite of all that. Some days it hurts to walk to the mailbox, and I’m anything but strong and—”
“Are you trying to explain your every weakness to me?” he interrupted.
“No. I just don’t get it, to be honest. It’s so easy for someone like me to look at you and want you.” She was working herself up. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“Lil, do you see yourself?” It was such a simple question, she couldn’t reply. “If you could try, for just a second, to see yourself through my eyes.”
There was a long silence. “It still doesn’t make sense to me.”
He leaned forward, looking her directly in the eyes. “Not trying to get you before someone else does would be a waste of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You charm the hell out
of me, Lil, and I consider it some act of fate that you aren’t taken already.”
That feeling of detaching from her body came back, and all she could hear was blood pulsing in her ears.
“So,” he broke the silence, “will you give me—and us—a chance?”
Chapter 9
Yes. She’d told him yes.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you! I printed out all these photos for inspiration and put them in this binder,” Claire called from the other room as Lillian slung her bag over her shoulder and quickly focused on where she was. “Could I show you quickly? Do you have another couple of minutes?”
Not right now, Lillian thought, but smiled gracefully. “I would love to, Claire, but I have another appointment and I’ve got to get going.”
“Could you come back afterwards? I’ll be happy to pay you for another hour.” The woman, who was so short she didn’t even reach Lillian’s shoulders, gave her a look that nearly read as desperation.
“You’re so sweet, Claire!” Lillian exclaimed, giving the woman a hug. “I really wish I could, but I’m taken the rest of the day. How about you compile all your visuals and we’ll spend some time looking over them next week?”
Claire’s face lit up like a light bulb. “Oh, that just sounds wonderful. I’ll look up some more ideas and think about which ones would be most practical here.” Scratching her chin in thought, she stared at the closet near the bottom of her front staircase.
Lillian knew if she didn’t leave now, Claire would get an idea and start rambling about it. “Excellent. Thank you for lunch!” She sidestepped to the door.
“Don’t worry about it, silly.” Opening the front door, Claire patted Lillian on the back. “Have a good afternoon, and thank you for all your help, dear!”
“My pleasure.” Lillian smiled with her lips together.
“I’ll call you if I have any questions!”
She’ll call me. Not the other way around. Every encounter with this woman was like something out of a sitcom, and she stifled an exhausted laugh. “All right. ‘Bye, Claire.”
As she shut the car door behind her, she heard the woman calling yet another goodbye to her. If it were an option, Lillian would have sat in the car to decompress from the constant talking, but every time Claire stood there on her front steps watching her until she drove off. Today was no exception. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she saw the woman still standing there with her hands in her pockets. She looked so small compared to her big house; it was a caricature come to life.
She started the car and drove slowly down the street, her energy totally depleted from the last hour and a half. Before she arrived at Claire’s this morning, she couldn’t get her mind off breakfast with Cayden. He asked for a chance, and she said yes. His grin was so wide and bright it stuck in her mind and put a smile on her own face even now.
The weather was gorgeous she couldn’t help but roll down all the windows and take a deep breath. She felt the air fill her lungs. It smelled like honeysuckle and roses. Honeysuckle. That’s a plant I haven’t seen in his garden, she realized, and made a mental note to ask Cayden about it later. What are those red ones? Poppies? I’ve got so many names to learn...
Her phone blared from the passenger seat, jolting her out of her trance. With every ring it also vibrated, adding unwelcome chaotic noise to the peaceful vibe.
Lillian snatched it up. The number wasn’t in her contacts and didn’t look remotely familiar. To answer or not to answer, she debated, and decided to answer on the last ring. “Hello, Lillian Warren.” There was a millisecond too long of silence from the other side. “Hello—”
“Hey, stranger.”
She gasped, immediately identifying the voice. “Andrew?”
“You guessed it!” His voice was smiling.
“What the hell, Andrew! Where have you been? Are you good?”
“Where have you been is more of the question, milady.”
Ouch. She knew it was true. After Amelia had passed, she detached from the family. Processing together was impossible for her at that time; it reminded her of too many memories, and happiness wasn’t something that meant a lot to her at that point. All the heartache of the past pinched her with his words.
“I know,” she replied quietly. “Andrew, I’m really sorry. I never meant to leave.”
“We know you better than that.” Hearing his voice brought tears to her eyes, and she pulled the car over to the side of the road in front of a random house. “Mom told me you called the other day.”
“Yeah, I did. I’ve just...” She took a breath. It had been so long since she had felt this soothing feeling, like someone was stroking her hair. “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. I...there have been a lot of things in my head.” The words weren’t coming. Why can’t I just say it? “I’ve been thinking about Amelia. It all came back to me. And I had a tough time with it. I miss you. I miss the family.”
“We all miss you, too, Lillian, but we never gave up on you. We knew you would always come back. And look, here you are.”
She wiped a teardrop off her cheek.
“So, do you want to get together and talk about it?”
“Yeah, your mom mentioned you were coming.”
“Actually, I’m already here.”
Her heart stopped mid-beat. “What?”
“Yeah. She thought I was coming in a couple of weeks. It was much more sudden than we thought. They told me a few days ago, ‘Hey, Andrew, we need you to go down to Hanniston soon to make sure they’re getting set up right.’” The way he talked in a deep voice like someone else lightened her mood. “And later that night I got a call saying to pack my bags. I got here yesterday.”
“Where are you staying?”
“They’ve put me in a hotel down near the museum.”
She nodded. “I know it, but I have a better place for you to stay. My house.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m settling in here just fine. Only going to be here for a week or so anyway.”
“I won’t accept no for an answer.”
“I can come tomorrow.”
“Tonight would be better.”
“It’s too sudden.”
“The guest room is ready. Come on, Andrew. I haven’t seen you in years. I haven’t even talked to you in years. We have so much to catch up on, a week won’t be enough.”
He exhaled. “Fine. I’ll get done around five. Text me your address and I’ll be there around six.”
“Perfect.” Excitement rushed through her body. “I have stuff to make soup, so dinner is provided.”
“Wow, that’s a lot better than this place I’m at now.” His dry sense of humor hadn’t changed since they had last talked. “See you later, love.”
“See you later.” She hung up and let out a squeal. This is really happening! Andrew’s here just when I needed a familiar face and some company. As she put the car in drive and moved forward again, the only thought on her mind was how much she wanted Cayden to meet the guy she’d considered her brother for such a long time.
HER HANDS WERE PRACTICALLY trembling as she typed. Come over for dinner in half an hour.
Cayden’s reply came in less than thirty seconds. You commanding me is kind of hot.
We can experiment sometime. She was shocked at herself for daring to send that, but she was too distracted by cleaning the house before Andrew arrived.
I like that idea!
I want you to meet someone. Remember Amelia? “Of course he’ll remember Amelia.” Lillian picked up Black Cat and held his face right in front of hers. “I was really drunk when he learned about her. That was a memorable experience.”
Yes?
She replied with one hand while stirring the simmering soup. Her brother is in town for business and is going to stay with me for a week or so.
They had been responding to each other so quickly, something felt off when she hadn’t received anything from him for five minutes. She was about to call him when she heard the
back door open. “Hello? You here, Lil?”
“In here,” she called, tucking the sheet under the guest bed mattress.
Cayden walked in, and the first thing she noticed was his V-neck shirt. “You look good.” She winked.
“Someone’s in a good mood.” He winked back, but didn’t smile. “Seems like things have really opened up between us since this morning.”
She stood up straight. “I’m passing on that opportunity for a dirty joke. Is something wrong?”
He traced his finger along the doorframe. “Not really.”
“Talk to me.”
“I’m not upset, but I’m trying not to care that a guy is coming to stay with you.”
“It’s just Andrew, Cayden. He’s family.”
“I haven’t even stayed the night at your house.”
“Stay tonight.” Maybe the commanding thing will work again.
It didn’t. “I’ll give you two some alone time.”
“Please don’t make it sound so romantic.” Her blood suddenly took on a simmering state. Why was he being such a dick? Andrew was practically family.
“I didn’t mean to. When was the last time you two saw each other?”
She looked down. “Couple of years. Three, I think. Maybe four.”
“That’s a while. I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about.”
Probably him more than me. “I want you to stay.”
“We’ll see. Is he going to be here soon?”
“Any minute. Could you help me spread this quilt on the bed?”
Cayden took a corner and pulled it up to the pillows. “Just forget what I said. I’ve had endless energy since this morning and I just had a great session with my client. Don’t want to ruin the mood.”
“You said you were glad I approached you last night, right?”
He nodded.
“Same now. I’m glad you told me how you feel, to put it in ‘girl terms’.” As she took a last look at the room, she tried to put herself in his shoes. “It must suck a little bit to have put the label on this and the same day some other guy comes over.”
She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. Walking around to the other side of the bed, she stood so close to him that his chest touched her chin when he inhaled. “I said yes because, no matter how much I want to pretend it’s not true, you’re inspiring me.”
