by Lexy Timms
Cayden put a hand on her waist. “How so?”
“I’m starting to learn the names of the flowers I’ve been drying for years.” She felt quite silly admitting it, and jokingly winced.
It brought a smile to Cayden’s face. “Is that it?”
“Easy, tiger. We just got started today.”
“You’ve already invited me to stay over. How scandalous.”
“Tonight is supposed to be cold. I’m worried about you over there all by yourself. At least I have the cats.”
A knock on the door interrupted their banter, and Lillian jumped.
“We’ll finish this later,” said Cayden, brushing a quick kiss on the top of her head. “You’re beginning to convince me to stay over.”
“Good.” Letting her eyes flit across his body, she sashayed out of the room and toward the front door. “Hurry up, Cayden!”
He smoothed his hair as Lillian opened the door. Her jaw dropped at the sight of Andrew standing there, half hidden behind a bouquet of flowers.
“She lives,” he said, beaming.
Tears filled her eyes. “Put that thing down,” she demanded, and as soon as he did she threw her arms around his shoulders. “Your voice still sounds the same,” she whispered, muted by her emotions.
“Thank goodness it does. I was worried I’d gone through puberty again since we last talked.” He patted her back and gently pulled away. “Well, introduce me to this fine gentleman!”
“Andrew,” Lillian sniffed, wiping her face with her sleeve. “This is Cayden. My...boyfriend.”
He didn’t notice her fumbling over the word or the fact that her face went bright cherry-red. Cayden’s had more color to it than usual at his new label, but didn’t let it faze him. “Andrew,” he stated firmly, extending his hand. Andrew was tall, but nowhere near as bulky as Cayden. “Good to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you and your sister.”
“All good things, I hope?”
“Don’t be stupid,” Lillian scolded, holding the bouquet against her chest. “These are so beautiful. Thank you.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
“You’ve gotten more formal, Andrew.”
“No way.” He winked and took the flowers from her. “Where should these go?”
“On the table. Put them at one end so we can still see each other while we eat.” She closed the door and led the men into the kitchen. “The stew’s almost done, so make yourselves at home and I’ll bring everything over.”
Cayden started to say something, but Lillian’s attention was taken by the simmering stew and her long-lost friend. “I’ll help,” said Andrew.
“You can help by sitting down.”
“I’ll fix drinks.”
“I shouldn’t argue with you, should I?”
“You know better than to do that, missy.”
Lillian stuck her tongue out. “The glasses are in that cabinet. I have a bottle of wine if you two want any, but who knows how old it is.”
“Don’t drink much anymore?”
Her gaze darted to Cayden. “Not much at all.”
Cayden snorted, but it got no reaction from Andrew. “Is it because of your stomach? Mom told me you were doing better.”
“Yeah. I’ve got it pretty much under control, though. Avoiding trigger foods and too much stress.”
Andrew laughed dramatically. “You? Lillian? Stressed? Never!”
“Would you shut up?” She flicked a green pea at him and he dodged it. “Hey, you’re not on any weird dietary restrictions or anything, are you?”
“Actually, I’m veg now.”
Lillian’s eyes widened to dinner-plate size. “Oh, shit.”
“What is it?”
“This is beef and vegetable stew.”
Neither of them moved, and neither of them noticed Cayden staring awkwardly from a few steps away. “Listen, I’ve got some things here that you can eat because I don’t eat meat every day. Do you like—”
“Lillian! Chill out. I’m just kidding.”
She froze again. “What!” Lunging forward, she slapped his shoulder and pushed him away. “That was not funny! Cayden, please look after this one. He’s a troublemaker.”
“I can imagine,” Cayden grunted.
Andrew fixed the drinks and poured the wine while Cayden folded three napkins over and over again. In a few minutes everything was ready and they sat at the table over stew, salad, and bread. Lillian and Andrew dominated most of the next hour’s conversation.
After the chatting hit the nightly lull, Cayden stacked the plates and carried them to the sink.
“I’ll wash,” Andrew protested.
“I have a dishwasher, you nut.” Lillian followed Cayden and turned on the water. “Let’s rinse them and put them in.”
“I can do it,” he said, giving her a little smile.
In that moment she realized he hadn’t spoken much during the evening. “Are you sure?”
He nodded and went to work on the dishes.
“So, Andrew. If you’re at a stopping point with your wine, I’ll show you around my penthouse.”
“Charming.” He put on an accent and offered his arm. Lillian took it and led him through the house.
“This is your bathroom,” she pointed out. “The maid cleaned it today with organic lemon cleanser and fairy dust.”
“It does smell wonderful.”
She laughed. “It gets very hot, though, so don’t get in until it’s just right. I can’t believe I don’t have burns from it.”
“You use this bathroom, too?”
“I have my own, but it’s the same way. I don’t know if it’s where the water heater is or the pipes are always piping hot.” She giggled. “Pun slightly intended. Come in here.”
Andrew stepped into his room first. “This is so nice, Lillian. Thank you.”
“The sheets and blankets are clean. Your towel is on the chair. There might be some cat hair in here, but other than that it’s all yours.”
“Where’s your room?”
A question like this would never have made her think twice except for Cayden’s earlier remarks. “It’s over there,” she pointed down the hall. “It’s messy. Don’t go inside.”
“Don’t you organize people’s houses for a living?”
“Yeah. Funny, huh?”
“Guess it’s the same as how hairstylists usually have the worst cuts.” He stretched his arms. “I’ll go get my stuff from the car.”
“Do you need help?”
“Nah, I travel light. Only got one bag.”
While Andrew went out the car, she joined Cayden in the kitchen. He was wiping off the table. “Hey,” she murmured, as if speaking too loudly would scare him.
“Hey.” He squeezed the water out of the cloth and hung it on the faucet to dry.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m cool.”
She frowned. “Somehow I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t think right now is a good time to talk about it.”
“When is?”
“Where’s Andrew?”
“He went out to get his bag.” She touched Cayden’s arm. His muscle was round beneath his shirt and she felt a little tremor run through her core. “Do you want to go to your place?”
His face softened. “Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”
“Maybe. I also want you to tell me what’s on your mind.”
“What’s on my mind should be easy to understand. I mean that actually and sexually.” Taking a breath, he asked, “Yeah, could we walk to mine for a little while?”
“Let me go tell Andrew.” She trailed her finger down to his wrist. The front door closed and she met Andrew there. “Hey, I’m going to Cayden’s for a bit. I believe you have everything you need for now. If the cats start harassing you, good luck.”
“No problem. I’m going to shower and wind down. I need to be at the factory tomorrow before eight.” Andrew pretended to yawn and rested his hand o
n her shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yep.” They parted ways and she went back to the kitchen. Cayden wasn’t there, so she opened the back door and peeked onto the porch. He stood at the bottom of the steps and motioned for her to come.
“He’s really touchy-feely,” Cayden muttered.
“I didn’t notice.”
“I don’t know, Lil. That guy isn’t really making my good list right now.”
“Why not?”
“He likes you.”
Oh, hell no. “That’s absolutely—”
“He brought you flowers, and he stared at you the whole meal with that weird smile on his face. It was like I was almost not even there.”
“Cayden,” she put in, frustrated. “We just became a real ‘thing’ at breakfast today. I don’t want to ruin the mood. Andrew’s like my brother.”
“Does he know that?”
She ignored him. “I swear there’s nothing going on. Otherwise I wouldn’t have invited him over.”
“What does he do, anyway?”
This question brought her to reality, and she had to admit that Cayden and Andrew, so far, hadn’t even spoken enough to ask basic questions like these. “He’s one of the top guys at a chain of factories. Latex factories. I think they make surgical gloves, things like that.”
He paused. “I never actually thought about where those are made.” Realizing he was getting off track, he squeezed his eyes together. “Well, I wouldn’t have a girl stay at my place, that’s all I’m saying.”
Is he really starting this? “Even if you grew up with her?”
He didn’t say anything.
“Even if you had nothing going on between you?”
“If she liked me, and I was with you, I would give it some serious thought and give her a disclaimer.”
“You can stay over anytime you want.” It surprised her, hearing those words come out of her own mouth. They had only spent the night together once; it was too early to think about doing it again, compared to her usual pace of things. But Cayden was shaking up all the “usual” areas of her life, and she knew it. She quickly raised a hand to cover her mouth, a little embarrassed at how she had spoken without thinking. Cayden caught on, and the corner of his mouth pulled up for a moment so brief she wasn’t even sure it was real.
“It’s not that,” he started, but his words faltered and gave way to a toothy grin.
She gave him a sarcastic look.
“Okay, maybe it’s a little of that.”
“It’ll be okay, seriously. He’s not going to come into my room at night and make a move on me.”
He held up his hand. “Please don’t. Not something I want to think about.” With a sigh, he pulled her close against him. “I know we’re just getting started, but I like feeling you here. Right here, where I can feel your heart beat.”
She closed her eyes. Screw it, she thought, and laid her hands on his shoulder blades. “Dammit, Cayden, you just smell so good. It melts me.”
When he chuckled, she felt the deep rumble in his chest. “Good. I always feel like the sweaty gym smell sticks to me like glue.”
“Diva.”
“Am I being too possessive?”
“I don’t think so. Let’s have a role shift and let me be the one to tell you to relax this time.” She never wanted him to let go. “Do you work tomorrow?”
“Yeah, early. Client at nine.”
“So, I guess that means you aren’t staying tonight.”
“I think I’ll sleep here. Maybe tomorrow I’ll stay over, if you’ll have me.” There was that mischievous glint in his eyes. “You want breakfast in the morning?”
“Sure.”
“It’s a date. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“Date?” she squeaked, drawing back suddenly.
“Be there,” he pointed to her house, “or be square. Even though you’re anything but square. You’re like a line. A very small line.”
“Shut up.” Lillian pushed him and turned her back, putting a little extra swing in her hips as she walked. “See you in the morning.”
His voice carried across the yard just as she opened her door. “Sleep well, gorgeous.”
Gorgeous. Her heart felt like it grew two sizes. Cayden stood over there with that seductive smirk he gave her what seemed like all the time, and her blood pumped hard.
Do something cheeky, she dared herself. Tease him. Blowing him a kiss, she walked inside and locked the door behind her. That wasn’t a tease, stupid. There are so many better things you could have done! Scratch your cleavage or something, at least. She rolled her eyes. Just put the food away and go to bed.
The stew pot was already washed and put away, and the bread was wrapped in foil. Lillian looked around for something to wash or put away, but everything was done. He didn’t have to do that. She was impressed at how fast he had gotten it all cleaned up, and humorously decided he wasn’t so bad to have around after all.
A big yawn overcame her and she suddenly realized how much her energy level had depleted. That doesn’t feel right. Nothing she had eaten recently was a trigger food or out of the ordinary for her diet. Over on the counter the bottles seemed to stare at her.
I don’t need those. I must just be tired. She was always tired after any amount of time with Claire, and then she had gone to another appointment before rushing home to prepare the house for Andrew.
Tuning her ears, she couldn’t hear any sounds coming from the other end of the house. Andrew must have been done with his shower; she hoped he didn’t pop out of his room and want to talk. She pushed herself out of the chair and leaned against the counter as she poured water in her glass.
Why am I dizzy? I didn’t even drink any wine.
Her head got too light to think anymore, so her muscle memory led her through her nightly routine of washing her face and brushing her teeth. Time blurred; once she was in the bed with the lights turned out, she couldn’t recall anything that happened since she was in the kitchen.
“I’m just tired,” she whispered to herself, and tried to scratch an itch on her arm. It was no use; her arm was too heavy to lift. She couldn’t roll over, either. Everything weighed thousands of pounds and she was stuck there on her back, in the dark.
The last thing she felt before her body crashed into a deep slumber was a slight sensation of fear. Something didn’t feel right, but her mind was too far gone to spend energy figuring it out.
Blackness enveloped every tiny source of light in her room and quickly pulled her into its grasp as well.
Chapter 10
All those people are laughing at me.
She felt herself shaking.
My skin’s wet. Why is my skin wet? Why’s everything so dark? I can’t see their faces anymore; where did they go?
The ground gave way beneath her and she lurched forward, flailing her arms and legs all over the place in desperate search of a grip.
But everything was black, and she couldn’t see a single thing.
The hysterical laughing of what sounded like thousands of people echoed down into wherever she was falling and stuck in her head like glue. Wind rushed past her as if she was in a hurricane, and she let out a bloodcurdling scream.
Lillian’s eyes flew open but she was blind for a moment, still lost in the nightmare. She couldn’t sit up from the dizziness of the fall. It had felt so scarily real. Her fingernails scraped against the blanket as she white-knuckled the sheets, breathing hard.
She may as well have just run a marathon.
Her vision slowly came back. There was the ceiling. There was the fan with its slight wobble as it spun. There was the window and the drawn shades and faint light shining against them. It was all there, but it was all spinning wildly.
Sweat dripped down the side of her face as she lay there like a wooden plank. It was that horrible feeling of hot and cold and overpowering nausea right before throwing up. Sometimes staying very still and closing her eyes helped keep it at bay, and she
could slip back into sleep until her body managed to reset.
This was not one of those times.
Bathroom. Now. Shit, shit, shit! The sound of the dream-people’s laughter echoed in the back of her mind and the hairs on her arms stood on end. They won’t be able to find me there.
Still lying on her back, she slid down until her feet hung off the edge of the bed. Her energy was gone, but she felt the lump of nausea rising into her throat.
“Go!” she croaked, unsure if she said it out loud or inside her head. With a sickly whimper, she wriggled down until her feet met the floor. It was cold, and the cold washed over her. She shivered.
The lump rose higher and a cry rose with it. Her body was a wet noodle, and the first step forward sent her straight to the floor. She caught herself with her hands. The impact increased the laughter until she swore the crowd was standing right behind her.
“Go away! You’re not real; I don’t need you!” She felt her mouth move but didn’t hear her voice come out. Something tickled the back of her throat and she gagged, clasping her hand over her mouth. A drop of sweat landed on the floor in front of her. She looked at it and saw the toilet out of the corner of her eye.
I need to go there, she screamed, inhaling a shallow breath through her nose and doing her best to crawl forward with one hand on her mouth.
The toilet was there. She grabbed it, retched, slammed the lid down, and somehow flushed it. The bathroom was colder than her room. It felt good. Even the toilet lid was cool. She didn’t feel the sweat dripping anymore, but the world was still spinning. Reaching out for the wall, she touched the bathtub. Nothing was where it appeared to be.
Screw you, laughing people, she shouted at them. She felt herself lowering to the floor. I don’t need your laughter. Screw you.
Her cheek touched the tile floor. She extended her hand towards the door but it flopped back down.
The blackness came back, this time all at once.
IT’S OKAY.
The world had turned from one big, dark shadow to a giant light bulb. She knew she wasn’t awake and didn’t waste her energy trying to open her eyes.
