by Lexy Timms
His stern expression washed away in an instant. “Oh? What’s that?”
“Maybe you’ll have to stay over tonight to find out.” She stopped. “At least until midnight. That’s when my personal party starts.”
Stopping at a traffic light, he leaned over and kissed her hard on the mouth. His hands held her so firmly she felt chills go down her spine. “Don’t tell me. I want it to be a surprise.” With a wink, he propped an elbow on the window and continued driving.
Damn, how does he turn my body to jelly like that? It would forever be a mystery. She felt so small compared to him, but she loved it. “Get your mind out of the gutter.” She lightly punched him in the arm. “I was only going to make you a smoothie.”
They looked at each other with a secret, knowing smile. “I’d be willing to bet that a smoothie isn’t the only thing that’s going to be tasting good tonight.”
Lillian felt the heat rise to her face until she couldn’t contain it anymore. Sticking her head out the window, she let out a roaring laugh that expressed all the elation she had been holding inside. The air cleaned her lungs and cleared her head of all the stagnant hospital air. Something felt new in her mind, and she was certain that Cayden had a lot to do with it.
In a few minutes they pulled into her driveway. Andrew’s car was parked at the curb out front; Lillian saw Cayden look at it out of the corner of his eye.
“Remind me to mow your lawn again tomorrow,” he said. “The grass is getting long.”
Nodding, she took his hand and walked him inside. Andrew was on the phone so they stayed quiet until he hung up.
“Hey, guys,” he greeted. “Sorry, work call.”
“No problem,” Lillian responded. “Do you have to go back?”
He didn’t hear her. “You didn’t respond about dinner, so I got a couple of pizzas. I know you have that thing tomorrow so I got a plain cheese one for you.”
“Can you have cheese?” Cayden asked her quietly.
“I’ll have a piece. That sounds great, actually.” Feeling very caught in the middle, she smiled. “Thanks, Andrew.”
Cayden disappeared into the kitchen, muttering something about water. Lillian sat in her reading chair opposite Andrew and was immediately swarmed by the two cats. “Hey, babies!” she sang, scratching both their heads at the same time. Their simultaneous purring was the loudest she had ever heard it. “Think they missed me?” she asked.
“Looks like it.” She looked over to see Andrew’s gaze locked on her and the cats. Cayden’s words in the car floated back into her head and she suddenly felt self-conscious.
“Are you hungry?” Her appetite had faded a little at the thought of Andrew having feelings for her, but she faked a smile and got up. “Let’s go eat. Cayden’s lonely.”
“He seems like the type who’s okay on his own.”
She stopped in her tracks and turned around. “No,” she stated. “He’s much better with me.”
Andrew didn’t say anything. The pleasant look on his face suddenly irritated her, but she knew better than to say anything right now. I’ll have to corner him later and tell him to quit being an asshole. Mentally she slapped herself. Not corner him, Lillian. He’ll never talk that way. Don’t be an asshole yourself.
“Need help?” she asked the second she walked into the kitchen. Cayden had gotten the bottle of gin down from the cabinet and poured himself a good dose in a glass.
He shook his head and got out three plates. “Cheese for you, my lady?”
“Yes, dear.”
Andrew walked over and took a plate. “I’ll fix my own, thanks.”
“Certainly,” Cayden replied and carried his and Lillian’s plates to the table. “Enjoy. You have five hours until the fun begins.”
“Fun?” asked Andrew.
“Colonoscopy prep.” Lillian gave him a thumbs-down.
Andrew almost dropped his piece of pizza. “You have surgery tomorrow?”
“It’s not surgery, Andrew. It’s a colonoscopy. And it doesn’t hurt. It takes about fifteen minutes.”
“Do they put you to sleep?”
“Yes.”
“Who’s taking you?”
Cayden raised his hand. “Over here.”
“Can I help somehow?”
“You can calm down, for starters.” Cayden’s gin looked so good in that glass with an ice cube. She realized she was staring at it lustfully and tore her eyes away.
“It’s just scary to see you like this, Lillian.” Andrew sat down.
“Like what?”
“She looks fine to me,” Cayden grumbled.
“Yes, Cayden. Thank you. I’m fine, Andrew. I’ve been through all this before. It’s nothing out of the ordinary for me.”
“If I had known it was this bad—”
“Are you not listening to me?” Lillian’s voice was louder than she expected. “You’re wasting your energy worrying. I’m in good hands with Cayden. I want to have a good visit with you, Andrew, and that won’t happen if you keep worrying and asking the same questions over and over again.”
The silence in the kitchen thickened like mud for what seemed like hours. “I should listen to you,” Andrew finally said.
“Yes, you should.” She didn’t feel bad for saying it. “Let’s get some music going and have a good evening.”
The room was soon filled with jazz; it helped cool the energy from the argument. By the time they were finished with their pizza, a conversation was flowing somewhat normally. She could tell the two guys were trying to talk like there was no tension.
While they chatted, they watched the moon rise above the forest. The temperature dropped lower and Lillian soon began shivering.
“I’m going to have a hot shower and take a nap before midnight, you two.” She took her plate to the sink. “It’s going to be a long night.”
“What time is your surgery?”
“It’s not surgery, Andrew.”
“What time is your colonoscopy?”
“7:30.”
Cayden pretended to yawn. “I’m going to nap, too.”
“What a coincidence, napping at the same time.” Lillian raised an eyebrow; she could feel the same curious glimmer that she loved seeing in Cayden’s eyes in her own now.
“You can keep that between yourselves. I’ve another early morning, so I’ve got to start winding down as well.” Andrew put his plate in the dishwasher. “Can I borrow your reading chair, Lillian?”
“Sure.”
Cayden drained the last few drops of gin and exclaimed, “Naptime!” He wrapped his arms around Lillian’s waist and started to pull her out of the room.
“I’ll say goodnight, Andrew,” she called through a laughing fit as she and Cayden pretended to struggle to her room. Using himself as a cushion, he flopped them both onto the bed.
She rolled onto her stomach on top of him. “Why do I feel like you’re up to something?”
“Perhaps because I am.”
“When can I find out?” She ran her fingernail along his jaw line.
“Whenever you want.”
“I think I’ll shower first. Will you still be around?”
He smirked. “I’ll right here, ready and waiting.”
They pressed their lips together, breathing in each other’s breath and touching their skin like it had been years. Lillian wished her night wouldn’t involve running back and forth to the bathroom.
I guess I’d better make the best of it for now, then, she thought, and pulled Cayden’s lower lip with her teeth. “Let me go shower and I’ll be back.”
“As you wish,” he whispered. Lillian buried her nose in his hair and breathed deeply. His smell brought her to a place of calm. A place she desperately needed right now.
She got up, leaving him sprawled on the bed, and undressed slowly, pretending like she didn’t know he was watching. In her peripheral vision she saw his eyes glued to her like a rare treasure, and she stifled a grin as she wrapped the towel around her an
d swayed into the bathroom, cracking the door behind her.
I should’ve invited him in. It seemed like a good idea, but she decided it was better to do when Andrew was gone. He probably wouldn’t appreciate the noise. Thinking about Cayden’s body against hers made her feel giddy. She couldn’t recall the last time she felt that way before meeting him.
She sped through her shower routine, eager to have the last few hours until midnight with him, but when she opened the bathroom door she saw him lying there on his back, dead asleep and hugging a pillow. He looked so peaceful; it even looked like he was smiling a little.
There goes the fun. Trying to keep quiet, she changed into pajamas and wrapped the towel around her hair. There were still a few hours left to nap. She cracked the bedroom door and went to refill her water cup.
Andrew was in her reading chair and looked up when she walked through the room. “Hey, there.”
“What’re you reading?” She poured some water and joined the cats on the sofa.
“Shakespeare,” he said, and held up a book about investment. “You ready for your thing in the morning?”
“It’s waking up so early that I’m not ready for. The rest is a breeze.” The steady ticking of the clock on the wall bounced off the walls. “Andrew, I need to ask you something.”
“Shoot.”
Like before, she chose her words carefully. “I feel like you and Cayden have some unspoken tension between you.”
Andrew put the book’s jacket flap in the page. “What makes you say that?”
“It’s hard for me to say without sounding accusatory.”
“Then I won’t take it accusingly.”
She pursed her lips. “Are you sure?” Andrew nodded, and she continued. “I had this expectation of you two getting along really well. It’s important for me. You and your parents are my family, and I want you to like whoever I’m with.”
“Define getting along really well.”
“I guess...” Damn, this is hard. “I had this idea that, maybe, since you’ve known me longer, you would be more proactive in being friends with him.”
Andrew crossed his arms. “I wasn’t aware I was going to be under so much pressure.”
“I’m not trying to put pressure on you.”
“We haven’t seen each other in years, Lillian. I wanted to have a visit with you, and I get here and so much has happened within three days. You were hospitalized and you have a boyfriend hanging off your hip all day.”
“He’s not hanging off my hip!” She felt the lightheadedness of anger.
“It seems like I’m not getting any time with you, and I won’t be here much longer. I have to go back in a few days.”
“To be honest, Andrew, it’s almost like...it’s almost like you’re acting jealous.” She regretted the words as soon as she said them. His quick reply startled her.
“Maybe I am jealous.”
“Why on earth would you be jealous of Cayden?”
“Maybe I want to be him.”
“Look,” she sighed. “Some people just don’t have the body type to get that much muscle naturally.”
“I’m not talking about that,” he snapped. “Maybe I’m jealous because I want to be in his place. Because he’s so close to you.”
Chapter 11
Her whole body went numb. She couldn’t tell how long she stared at him or even that her jaw was dropping slightly more open every few seconds.
Andrew finally broke eye contact. “I hope that doesn’t freak you out.”
“It does,” she replied. “Kinda.”
“Maybe I should clarify a little—”
“Yeah, maybe you should.”
He puckered his lips in thought. “I had feelings for you before. Several years ago.”
“But you just told me that—” She couldn’t bear to say it out loud. “—in present tense.”
“I never got to tell you before, Lillian. I didn’t even see you much after what... what...” He struggled, clearly not wanting to bring up what had happened to Amelia. “It was like Amelia was the glue that kept us together, and once she was gone we faded off from where our friendship was.”
“How does that tie into what you just said?”
“I guess the distance helped me get over it, but if we’re being honest, seeing you with Cayden after so long without talking to you at all...it’s bringing a bittersweet feeling.”
“Wow.” She laughed in disbelief. “You’re the last person I ever expected to talk about feelings.”
Andrew shrugged.
She was at a total loss as to what to say, but tried to conjure up some words anyway. “Andrew, I wish I knew how to respond to this better than, ‘You’re like a brother to me’.”
“There’s no need to. I’m over it. I just never had the time to think about it, and I definitely never thought I would be sitting here telling you.”
I never expected us to be having this conversation, she thought. Amelia, where are you when I need you?
“Maybe it happened because I knew Amelia was so tight with you, and it was like you were the last tangible piece of her. I don’t know.” Andrew leaned over, his elbows on his knees, and rubbed his face. “I don’t want to think about it, Lillian. I just want to move on and do my life like normal.”
“Then do it.”
“Don’t think I’m being hostile towards Cayden,” he said, looking at her. The bags under his eyes were darkened in the shadow cast by the one lamp behind him. “I don’t think Cayden is a bad person, and I don’t think you two are bad together. I’m glad to see you so happy.”
“Thank you, Andrew.” It sounded lame, but she didn’t know what else to day.
“I’m processing all this. Please bear with me.”
For someone who doesn’t want to think about his feelings, he sure is talking a lot. She sighed and sat up straight. “It must be odd, not hearing from me for so long and then seeing me with someone you’ve never met. I mean, when Amelia was here, you and I knew everything going on in each other’s lives.”
“Not just the two of us; Mom and Dad did, too.”
“I can think of a few things I wish they hadn’t found out back in the day.” She smiled to herself. “I see why this was a bit of a shock, but I’m really glad you’re here. I hope we don’t go years without talking again.”
“Me neither.” He looked lost. She knew exactly where his mind was, and she knew it because she knew him.
“I wish we were mediums. Maybe we could talk to Amelia.”
“Yeah,” he said grinning. “We should hire one.”
“She’d never approve of it,” Lillian giggled. “Remember how she would never even step foot near a horror movie? Especially one about demons or dead things.”
“Any gore was out. Any scary. Any suspense.”
They stopped and looked at each other, suddenly feeling like Amelia was there in the room with them. It was a fleeting sensation, but their memories of her were so similar it calmed their hearts.
“I’m sorry you thought I hated Cayden,” he apologized.
“Don’t worry about it. If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t have asked you about it.” Lillian stood and ran a hand down Black Cat’s sleeping body. She checked her watch. This was really bad timing. It wasn’t his fault. Or hers. It just was. “I hate to sound like I’m running from this, but I need to try to get a little sleep before my private poop party.”
“That sounds awful.”
“It’s only not fun for the first couple of hours, then it’s over.” She smiled. “It’s nothing. I’m armed with a good book or three.”
“I’ll head to bed, too, that way I’m not stealing your reading chair when you need it.” He put his book down and stepped towards her. “If I hug you it won’t be weird, will it?”
“It’s only weird if you make it weird.” They embraced, and Lillian thought about how many times they had held each other after getting the call about Amelia’s accident. She had never dared to think of
him as anything more than a family member, but now she couldn’t deny something had changed.
I can’t bring it up again. She supposed the best thing to do was to pretend like they had never talked about it.
“Do your parents know?” she asked, gently pulling away.
“About how I felt? No one knows.”
Thank goodness.
“Did I just ruin us?”
She shook her head. “You didn’t. It’s...it’s not anything I expected in a thousand years. But it’s okay.”
“I don’t feel like that now. The opposite, actually. I pretty much hate you.”
“There he is!” She pinched his cheek. “There’s the old Andrew, fluent in English and Sarcasm.”
“And French. Did you know?”
“Are you serious?”
“Absolutely.” He beamed. “Not.”
“I was about to be impressed.”
“What a bummer.”
“Go to sleep, Andrew.” Lillian slapped him on the back. “You have an early morning.”
“So do you!”
She put her hands on her tummy. “My morning is basically already here. I’m going to try to catch some shuteye with Mister Sleepyhead in there.”
“Have at it.” He yawned for real this time. “See you tomorrow. Please don’t get hospitalized again.”
“I don’t intend to.” She watched Andrew round the corner and listened until his bedroom door shut. The house had the same silence now that she loved, but it had more life in it.
Gray Cat looked up at her and blinked sleepily. Lillian looked back and knelt to kiss her between the ears. “I kind of like having people around,” she whispered. “Not that you and Black Cat aren’t good enough, but it’s nice to have humans sometimes, too.” She paused, thinking about something. “Do you think I should tell Cayden about this?”
The cat purred like a lawnmower and lay her head back down. Her skin rippled with every touch of Lillian’s fingers down her spine.
“I didn’t think so, either. Goodnight, kitten,” she hummed. “See you in a couple of hours.”
Cayden was lying on her bed in the same position. He was so lovable-looking there in the half-dark, she couldn’t keep a smile concealed behind her lips. Quietly she closed the door behind her, took a sip of water, and climbed into bed beside him. He grunted softly and shifted to hold her tight when she pressed her body against his.
