Reign or Shine

by Мишель Роуэн

  "You do know what this is, yes?" she asked.

  "Of course I do." I was literally trembling from trying to sound strong when I felt anything but.

  "Your Shadow can't help you now, Nikki, but perhaps you can help him."

  Michael had become so transparent that I could see through him to the wall behind. By how pale and shivery he was, I could tell he wasn't feeling very well.

  Being without his amulet had damaged him. It contained his life force, his ties to the world. Without it he was. . nothing.

  Elizabeth waited for me to say something but my mouth had gone so dry that I didn't think I could have formed words even if I wanted to.

  So she continued, her voice tense. "Please listen to me, Nikki. I know you care about him. Drink the potion and I will give this amulet back to Michael. If you refuse, then he will continue to fade away until he has completely disappeared from our sight. Even then he'll still exist. He'll be invisible to the world around him, but in desperate, constant pain for many years until he finally dies. It is a horrible end to give somebody you obviously have feelings for. I can't imagine that you'd ever want him to suffer so greatly."

  I looked down at my father then, tearing my attention away from Michael's fading form, and saw that his breathing was growing more shallow and his eyes were closed. He had slipped unconscious again. When I looked at Michael I could see the raw desperation on his face.

  "Don't listen to her," he said. "Forget about me."

  Forget about him. I didn't think I could. Not ever. I felt changed, and not just because I had discovered my Darkling side. It was something deep inside of me that didn't want the people I cared about to be hurt if there was anything I could do about it.

  I'd tried to be strong even though I was quivering inside. I'd tried to be brave. But I didn't think I could do it anymore. A tear trickled down my left cheek, betraying the emotional breakdown I was feeling inside.

  "I need a decision," Elizabeth said. "Please, Nikki. The time has come."

  She thought she was giving me a choice. Let Elizabeth rule in my father's place or condemn Michael to years of torture.

  But I'd already made my choice. I couldn't turn back now.

  Chapter 21

  "Don't do it, Princess." Michael drew closer but it only helped me to see the pain he was going through. "Please. . let me go. Your father wouldn't want you to sacrifice the kingdom for me."

  "First you want me to drink it." My voice broke a little as I said it. "Now you say don't drink it. You've very indecisive, do you know that?"

  "That was when I wanted you to save yourself, not me." He gave me a very weak smile. "Don't drink it. I'm not important."

  I blinked back more tears. "You're important to me."

  He reached out to me and our fingers passed right through each other. I felt nothing at all, not even a glimmer of energy from him. It was much worse than getting a jolt of electricity from touching his amulet by mistake. This… this nothingness was much worse.

  I wondered if I could grab Elizabeth then and take the amulet away from her, but another glance at Dax showed me that he now held it. Besides, the brief glimpse of her demon earlier had proven to me that she wasn't just a pretty blonde in a long red gown. She was powerful and scary and, at the moment, desperate for me to do what she wanted no matter what the cost.

  Elizabeth held up the little bottle to me and I took it from her without another word.

  My father's eyes flickered open again and he sucked in a breath of air. "Elizabeth, you must stop what you're doing while you still have a chance. It's not right. You can't make Nikki do this if she doesn't want to."

  "It is her choice," Elizabeth said. "I'm sorry, Desmond. I truly am. But this is the way it has to be."

  Has to.

  "Nikki. .," my father managed.

  I held the cool bottle in the palm of my hand, my cheeks wet with tears. "When Michael first told me I was half demon, I didn't believe it. I thought he was crazy. I had to see it with my own eyes and when I did it nearly scared me to death. I just wanted to fit in at school. I didn't want to be a demon princess and I sure didn't want to become queen of the Shadowlands."

  "I know," my father said. "That's why I had the potion made for you."

  "I could see that you were a little disappointed that I took the bottle from you so quickly. That I wanted to forget."

  "It's the way it must be," he said. "The choice has always been yours, not mine. Not Elizabeth's. Even now, Nikki, the choice is yours."

  The magic potion had been the perfect solution to all of my problems. But I'd had some time to think about it since he'd first given it to me. I'd thought long and hard about what my choices really were-even beyond the threat that turning Darkling would kill me. And I had already made my decision of what to do.

  For better or for worse, I was still certain it was the right one.

  I took the top off the bottle, tipped the vial back and drank down every last drop of the red liquid. When I was finished I looked at my aunt.

  Her expression was tight and her shoulders tense. She nodded. "Very good. Everything will be fine now."

  I swallowed hard. "The amulet? We made a deal."

  "Of course." She held out her hand and Dax came to her side to give her the amulet. "I cannot tell you how relieved I am, Nikki."

  I didn't reply. I just held out my hand and she gave me the chain with the large green stone. At the moment, the stone was as gray as it had been in the alleyway yesterday afternoon. I squeezed the chain tightly in my hand. My father's expression was grim as I let go of him and moved away from the side of the bed toward Michael.

  All that was left of him was a fading shimmer. Although I could see the outline of him, his clothes had become shadowy and indistinct, and the rest of him blurred. His eyes were still intently fixed on me and filled with pain.

  "You should have done it to save yourself." His voice sounded miles away and strained. "But not for me. I'm nothing."

  "You're not nothing. When are you going to start believing that?"

  Michael had almost disappeared completely. How could the amulet work if it was solid and he wasn't? I reached toward him and was surprised when I could touch his arm. It must have had to do with me holding the amulet. I could still see straight through him, but his arm felt solid and very cold.

  "Hold still," I advised.

  "There's no time," he said again. "Your memories-" "Don't worry about that right now." I went up on my tiptoes and slipped the amulet over his head, letting the gray stone drop down to his chest. Keeping a tight hold on his arm, as though if I let him go he'd fade away completely, I waited. He struggled to breathe and I could still see the pain in his eyes, but as I continued to watch him I saw color return to the stone a little at a time. As it did, his form became clearer and more opaque. His eyes changed from gray to green at the same speed as the amulet regained its color. I watched his handsome features fill in, the line of his arms and chest and legs. Even the Van Halen T-shirt was back and looked faded only because it was old.

  After a minute had gone by I couldn't see through him at all. He was back.

  I let out a great big sigh of relief and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly against me.

  That is, until his amulet gave off its old familiar, painful jolt and I jumped backward, rubbing my chest. "Ow."

  His expression was strained. "Why did you have to sacrifice everything for me, Princess? You drank the potion. You're going to forget."

  "Michael, it will be fine," Elizabeth said. "I won't punish you for betraying me. You can help me in the future."

  He glared at her. "I won't help you."

  Her lips thinned. "You don't have any say in the matter. You're a servant."

  "I release him from his servitude," my father said. "Michael is free to do as he pleases."

  "Desmond," Elizabeth gasped. "You can't do that. He's a Shadow."

  "I'm still king here." He looked up at her and there was no kindness i
n his already scary expression. "And I still make the decisions. It is unfortunate that your… Prince Kieran. . isn't here to help you now. I assume he's behind all of this?"

  Her mouth tensed. "It doesn't matter. You'll be gone soon and Michael will stay here with me. The servants will understand what's happened and they'll do as I say."

  "Where is the antidote?" my father asked, his low voice barely audible.

  "It's too late for that. There's no going back now." Elizabeth turned to me. "I need you to know something. What I said about your Darkling side killing you if you harnessed its power-it wasn't true."

  She had to feel guilty. That's what this was, wasn't it? A woman who had done horrible things was now trying to justify her actions. She was trying to come clean while she still had the chance. Maybe then she could live with herself.

  I wondered what she'd think if she ever found out the truth about Kieran. I mean, I didn't know the whole truth, really. The only glimpse I'd had of him was a few minutes over the gazer, but I knew he didn't love my aunt. He was using her. And she'd done horrible things to gain his supposed love.

  If I didn't hate her so much for what she'd done to my father, for what she'd done to me and to Michael, then I'd feel sorry for her.

  She twisted her hands together. "The facts that I did research were true, but the results I told you weren't. Dark-lings are very powerful creatures. They were once bred to be warriors who could easily move from the human realm to the darker worlds despite any barriers there might be. Their power is pure and vast, but they became too powerful, and that's why demon/human relationships have been forbidden ever since. That's why there have been no other Darklings until you."

  Michael had come over to stand at my side during Elizabeth's speech and he looked at me with concern. He was ready for me to slip into my potioninduced amnesia at any second. What was he planning to do? Pull me along like a child to the gateway? Leave me on my front porch all confused and wondering who the cute guy was who had walked me home from the dance?

  "I guess Dax didn't tell you that I already knew turning Darkling wouldn't kill me," I said.

  Elizabeth frowned and turned to look at her thug before returning her attention to me. "What are you talking about?"

  "I appreciate the kind-and-well-intentioned-aunt act, but you're not kind or well-intentioned." I glared at her. "You can fool yourself but you can't fool me.

  You're horrible. You sent Dax to kill me. You don't want to kill me here, where my father can sense it, but you're fine with killing me at home. You failed. Dax failed, because I turned Darkling and kicked his butt."

  Her expression tightened. "I would have liked to have known that earlier, but it doesn't matter anymore. In a few short moments you'll be-" She tilted her head to study me. "What is happening to your eyes?"

  "My eyes?" I raised a hand in front of my face and saw the red glow reflecting off it, then I looked back at her. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

  She looked so confused then. "What is going on?"

  "I guess you could say that I have my father's eyes." I looked down at him. He, too, looked confused, but then the realization of what I had done must have dawned on him. He squeezed my hand.

  Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't understand. You drank the potion. I saw you. Your Darkling should be destroyed by now. You should be forgetting everything." She looked at her brother. "The potion. Did you give her a placebo? It wasn't a real potion at all?"

  "No, it was very real," he said.

  I breathed out and concentrated all of my energy on my dragon's tear bracelet. My father had given it to me to help focus and control my powers. It had worked with breaking open the door to the dark room my aunt had locked me inside and it was helping me now.

  My canine teeth began to elongate and sharpen. "I told you I wasn't going to drink the potion, but I didn't tell you that I'd actually made that decision earlier.

  You're the one who told me to trust my heart and that's exactly what I've been doing all this time. Trusting my heart. And my heart told me to flush the potion down the toilet at my Winter Formal. I filled the vial with fruit punch and that's what I just drank. When I saw it was the exact same color I decided it was fate. I'm believing in fate a lot lately."

  She held a hand up to her mouth as she watched me painlessly shift to my Darkling form, an expression of disbelief and shock turning her beautiful face ugly.

  My black wings unfurled behind me and I felt my father's weak gaze on me. I looked down at him. "I thought I'd hate you when I met you. But I didn't know who you really were and what happened so long ago to make you leave us. I love you and I'd never destroy the part of me that makes me your daughter."

  He smiled up at me. "You make a beautiful Darkling."

  "Princess, watch out!" Michael yelled.

  I looked up to see Elizabeth lunging for me, her own talons extended and aimed directly for my throat.

  Chapter 22

  Despite her initial attempts to stay calm and collected on the surface, my aunt had now brought forth her demon form to try to rip out my throat.

  She grabbed hold of me and we went flying over to the far side of the room.

  Her skin was now leathery, but not black as my father's was-instead, hers was a dark red. Her ears were almost as sharp as her black, spiraling horns.

  She glared out at me through red slitted eyes. Her chest had sunken in and I could see her ribs, as if only a skeleton was covered by the red skin underneath her dress. Her black lips peeled back from her razor-sharp teeth and she hissed at me.

  While I looked half demon and half me in Darkling form, Elizabeth was definitely fully demonic-and scary as hell.

  "Shouldn't have done that." Her voice was dry and edged with violence. I tried to hold her back but I felt the edge of her talons scrape against my throat.

  "Should have done what I said. It didn't have to end this way."

  "You're evil," I managed to say through clenched teeth.

  "You're only sixteen. You don't know what evil truly is."

  "You know what? I don't think I ever would have been clued in if I hadn't spoken to your boyfriend," I hissed. "He's so transparent. But even then it didn't matter. I'd already flushed the potion. Where's the antidote, Elizabeth?"

  Her eyes narrowed. "You're a fighter." "If I have to be."

  I managed to grab her arms and hold her back, stumbling away from the side of the bed. She was so strong. One of her talons moved to scratch my shoulder and the pain was intense, but I forced myself to ignore it. If I let my concentration slip, the next talon would go through my jugular.

  And then Michael was there, trying to drag Elizabeth off of me. "Leave Nikki alone!"

  His eyes flashed as green as his amulet and I could sense he was summoning power to blast her away from me, like he'd done with Dax yesterday in the park. But before he had the chance, Elizabeth whipped her head up to glare at him and with a shove she effortlessly threw him across the room. He was up on his feet in a flash and came right back at her.

  "No, Michael-be careful!"

  His expression was fierce as he attempted to protect me, but he was still weak from losing form earlier. Elizabeth grabbed him by his T-shirt.

  "Love hurts, doesn't it?" She threw him to the side even harder than before. He hit the wall and slid down to the floor in a heap. He wasn't moving and his eyes were closed.

  "Michael!" I yelled, fear twisting inside me. I wasn't sure if he was unconscious, or injured, or. . dead.

  Elizabeth's attention returned to me. "Your Shadow is weak, Nikki. He can't protect you anymore."

  My moment of distraction had given her the chance to curl her taloned, leathery hands around my throat. Her red eyes glittered.

  "Let go of her, Elizabeth," my father growled. He'd forced himself up to a sitting position in his bed. "I'm warn-ing you… if you harm her, you'll be the one who dies today."

  Her lip curled back from her sharp teeth. "You have no power anymore, Desmond. I can't be st
opped now." She shook her head. "She won't be queen.

  She's not capable of it-it's impossible. She's too young. Too human."

  I felt the life being squeezed out of me. She was choking me.

  "Please," he said, and now his words were less fierce as his strength faded again. "Let her go. I beg you, Elizabeth. Don't hurt her."

  I didn't want to die. But the air was being squeezed from my body. She was so strong. Stronger than me.

  I was scared.

  "Darklings don't fear anyone or anything," the king of the faery realm had told me in the forest. I'd seen the fear in his eyes.

  And in the field Dax had confided that Elizabeth was afraid of me, even before she knew I'd been able to turn Darkling.

  I gasped for breath, but I tried to concentrate. I tried to look past the fury and the rage I saw in Elizabeth's red eyes. I looked past it and deep inside all I could see was fear.

  I clutched at her wrists and my hands glowed red. Her brow lowered. I focused a line of energy through my hands and she jumped back from me, much like I'd jumped back from Michael's amulet.

  "You're afraid of me," I gasped, holding a hand to my nearly crushed throat.

  "I'm not." The look in her eyes betrayed the truth. "You're the only one standing in my way. Your father can't help you. Your Shadow can't help you. Nobody can help you now."

  "You're wrong." I clenched my fists. "I can help me."

  "Dax," Elizabeth barked. "Please restrain her."

  She looked over but Dax had left the room completely. I hadn't even noticed when he ran away but I wasn't all that surprised. He'd lied to Elizabeth about my turning Darkling-or at the very least, he'd withheld information from her-and he would have expected a serious punishment after that. Obviously he didn't want to stick around to see how this all played out.

  Or maybe he was just sick of being told what to do.