She poured the pancakes and watched as he carried in bucket after bucket of water to fill the tub for her. She had eight pancakes on a plate for him and four more in the pan when he sat down, ready to eat. When the last four were ready, she dropped three more on his plate and sat down with one pancake and a piece of bacon. He looked at her plate and shook his head. “Are you trying to starve that baby?” He watched as she poured milk from the pail he’d just brought in for each of them.
She smiled. “I wish I could eat more. He seems to be growing, though.”
“He? You think it’s a boy?” He seemed excited by the prospect.
She shrugged. “I have no idea.”
He’d already eaten half his meal, but stopped. “Let’s go ahead and pray.” He said their prayer and continued eating.
“What time do you need the pullet to get the chicken and dumplings ready for dinner?” he asked after she’d taken a bite of bacon.
“If I can have it by about ten or so, I can start boiling it.”
He nodded. “That shouldn’t be a problem. I just want to give you enough time to get your bath before I come back with it.”
“I appreciate that.” She poked at her pancake, wondering if she’d be able to get the sweet treat down.
Thomas watched her try to eat and found himself worrying about how little she was able to swallow. “Is all that going to come back up?”
“I hope not! Sometimes I can keep breakfast down. I always at least try to eat something.” She took a bite of the pancake and chewed it slowly. “What will you be doing today?”
He gave her a funny look. “Working in the fields. Why?”
“I’d like to know where you’re working every day, if you don’t mind.” She knew it was a strange request, but she really didn’t want to have to explain herself. She hoped he’d just do as she asked.
“You wanna tell me why?”
She shrugged. “Charlie died out in the fields one day. I didn’t know it until he was late for dinner. I didn’t know where he’d be working, so I had to search everywhere for him.” She looked down at her plate, blinking back the tears. “It was the day I found out I was carrying.”
“I didn’t know. Sure, I’ll try to always let you know where I’ll be working.” He ate his last bite and got up to pour the last of the hot water into the tub, leaving two buckets of cold water beside it so she could adjust the temperature how she liked. “How did he die?”
She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. “He was kicked in the head by his horse. A horse we thought was perfectly gentle.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say. She watched as he left the house and quickly finished her last bite of breakfast, wanting to get her bath before he came back. She stripped and stepped into the tub, letting the water flow over her muscles, which ached from the long journey. She had a lot to do, so she couldn’t spend long in the tub, but she’d love to spend the whole day soaking.
She washed quickly, making sure her long hair received a thorough soaping. When she was done, she left the tub, hoping he’d be willing to empty it for her when he brought the chicken in. She really shouldn’t be doing heavy work until after the baby was born.
Esther made quick work of the dishes and mixed up her bread dough. She’d make at least three loaves of bread and some dinner rolls to go with the chicken and dumplings she’d make for supper.
By the time Thomas came back with the chicken, she had the loaves rising in their pans and the dinner rolls rising on a sheet pan. The laundry was hanging on the line and drying. He looked around with a smile. “You’ve worked hard this morning.”
She nodded. “I love to cook.” She didn’t mention laundry, though, because there was nothing on the planet she hated to do more than wash clothes.
“Good. Because I love to eat.” He studied her with a smile. The green cast was finally gone from her skin. “You look like you’re feeling better.” He didn’t add that she looked pretty. He’d never seen a woman who was so pretty. He only wished the child she was carrying was his.
She took the chicken from him, noting he’d already plucked the feathers for her. “Thanks for getting the feathers.”
“It’s no problem. I appreciate you cooking the chicken and dumplings for me.”
She wondered if they’d always be overly polite with one another. She hoped not, because it felt like she was living with a stranger. “Would you be willing to empty the tub? That’s heavier work than I should be doing.” She held her breath while she waited for his answer. Would he be upset that she couldn’t do something so simple?
“I was planning on doing it for you. I don’t want you to do anything that would risk that baby.” He immediately went to the tub and got to work on it.
She put the chicken into a pot of water and set it on the stove to boil. “Thank you.”
Before he left, he told her, “I’ll be working in the field you can see just outside the kitchen window. If I have to leave there, I’ll come to the house to tell you.”
She smiled and nodded, happy that he was willing to let her know where he’d be so she wouldn’t panic. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle it if he came home late for a meal.
When he came for lunch, she fed him bacon sandwiches on fresh hot bread, and was able to eat some bread herself. He said the prayer and they ate silently together, neither of them quite sure what you said to your spouse whom you’d met just the previous day.
After lunch, he went back to the field and she brought in the clothes from the line. He’d obviously not done any washing in a while, and she was happy to put fresh clean sheets on his bed. She tackled the floors after she finished with that and was pleased with how the house looked by the time she started the dumplings for dinner.
Thomas was exhausted after his long day, but happy to see how clean the house was. The smells from dinner made him rub his stomach with pleasure. She was going to bring him great joy just from her cooking. He noted that she had a full bowl of dumplings as well and commented on it.
“My queasiness is doing much better this evening. I think it helped that I didn’t have to get into any moving vehicles all day.” She was actually looking forward to eating for the first time in weeks. She took the first bite, and waited for the nausea to set in, but when it didn’t, she smiled. “I’m going to be able to eat!”
“I’m glad to hear that. I was starting to worry you’d die from starvation.” He shook his head at her as if to scold her for worrying him.
She grinned. “It hasn’t been that bad.” Well, maybe it had, but he’d only seen a small portion of it.
He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think? I’ve never seen anyone eat so little.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not afraid to eat. I eat plenty, just not when I feel like death.”
She ate three bowls of the chicken and dumplings, and he was happy with that. He really had been afraid for her with how little she ate. Tonight she looked the picture of health. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a perfect bun, and her cheeks were rosy instead of green. Maybe she was right and it was only the baby that had been making her so sick. As he watched her eat, he found himself wishing the baby she carried was his and not some stranger’s.
After the meal, he went out to do the milking while she washed the dishes. He took his time in the barn, wondering if she’d be able to share his bed that night instead of sleeping in the nursery. She certainly looked healthy, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t get sick if he tried to make love with her. So far he’d only even kissed her once, and that was during their wedding ceremony. He decided he’d try kissing her and see what happened.
Once the milking was done, he carried the bucket into the house and down to the cellar. He wondered if going into the cellar was bad for her in her condition, but it didn’t seem to bother her. Maybe that was something he should ask Victoria when he saw her again.
She was sitting in a rocking chair off
to the side of the table in the room that served as the kitchen as well as the sitting room and dining area. He took the rocker across from her and watched her fingers fly as she knitted something with yellow yarn. “What are you making?”
She looked up with a smile. “A blanket for the baby. I’ll make him a quilt as well, but I want him to have a nice soft blanket that I can bundle him up in during the winter.”
“It’s pretty.” His mother had done some knitting, but he was the youngest child, so he’d never seen her making anything for a baby.
“Thanks.” She kept her head bent over her task.
“Are you still feeling okay after eating all that food?” he asked, trying to think of a way to feel her out on whether or not she was up to sharing his bed.
“I’m feeling better than I’ve felt in a long time.”
He smiled. “I’m really glad to hear that.” He looked over at the stove and cleared his throat nervously. “Are you feeling up to maybe sleeping in my bed tonight instead of the nursery?” He said the words quickly to get them over with.
She blushed, but nodded. She didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with any man so soon after Charlie’s death, but he was her husband, and she knew what was expected of her. “That’s fine.”
He felt his heart start beating faster at the thought. She didn’t seem overly excited about it, but at least she’d agreed. He wouldn’t force any woman, even his wife. “Are you tired now?” he blurted.
She wanted to laugh he seemed so eager. She thought back to her wedding night with Charlie and understood immediately. Charlie had taken her home from the church and immediately pulled her into the bedroom to make love. He hadn’t wanted to wait for dinner or anything else. She’d been as eager as he was, though, so it was fine. She could certainly understand Thomas’s eagerness. She set down her knitting and stood up. “Give me five minutes to put my nightgown on and I’ll be ready.”
She took deep breaths as she climbed the stairs wondering what she’d just agreed to. Esther didn’t feel comfortable making love with him, but she couldn’t put him off forever. He’d not only taken on a wife he didn’t know, he’d agreed to raise her unborn child as his own. How could she say she wouldn’t allow him his marital rights?
In the nursery, she pulled off her work dress and pulled her plain white nightgown over her head. She touched her hand to her slightly rounded stomach, wondering if it would bother Thomas that her stomach wasn’t flat like it was when she’d married Charlie.
She went into Thomas’s bedroom, happy she’d taken time to wash all the bedding that day. It was strange enough that she was making love with a man she’d just met the day before, but at least she was doing it in a clean bed. She was just sliding between the sheets when he came into the room.
He opened the windows to let a breeze come in and blew out the lantern on the chest of drawers. He didn’t want to embarrass her with his eagerness. He quickly stripped off his clothes, climbing into the bed beside her. He wondered if it would bother her if he asked her to remove her nightgown. He wanted to feel her against him, as he’d never felt another woman.
He pulled her against him and kissed her, softly at first, but gradually increasing the pressure as she responded to his kisses.
Esther felt like she was betraying Charlie as she responded to Thomas’s kisses. She enjoyed the feel of his lips and tongue against hers in a way she probably shouldn’t so soon after the death of the man she loved. She put her arms around him, and opened her mouth for his tongue to mate with hers.
Her fingers rubbed his shoulders as she lay beside him, returning his kisses. His hands moved up and down her sides, touching her through her nightgown. After a moment, his fingers caught the hem of her gown and he slowly pulled it up and over her head. Her first instinct was to cover her body, but she reminded herself he was her husband, and he had the right to touch her wherever and however he wanted.
His lips brushed along the side of her neck and across her shoulder. Esther was surprised by how much she was enjoying his touch. She’d thought love was necessary to enjoy the act of lovemaking, and she certainly wasn’t in love with this stranger who was touching her.
He kissed down to her breast and took her nipple into his mouth. She cried out in pain as he suckled. His head lifted. “I’m sorry! What did I do?” His brown eyes were panicked at the thought he’d hurt her.
She shook her head. “My nipples are tender because of the pregnancy. Normally that would be okay.”
“I didn’t know. I won’t do that again.” His voice was shaky, as if he was afraid he’d break her.
“It’s okay.” She stroked his bare shoulders and rubbed her foot along his calf. She almost wished he’d hurry and finish it, because she felt guilty that she was enjoying herself. Maybe if he hurried, she wouldn’t enjoy it so much. She certainly couldn’t tell him that, though. He deserved to have a wife who would thrill to his touch, not ask him to hurry through it.
He stroked his hands up and down her body, and one hand went between her legs to press against her core. He rubbed against her bud, making her writhe with pleasure. She’d missed having a man touch her this way, she realized.
His lips met hers and he pushed her to her back, kissing a path across her shoulder. He slid his thigh between hers. He’d never done this before, and because she had, he felt uncomfortable and awkward. Was he doing it right? He kept his hands running up and down her arms, hoping she was ready for him, but unsure how to ask. Finally, he settled himself between her thighs and pressed his manhood against her entrance.
She was startled at how much it hurt as he entered her. It had been a long time, certainly, but she hadn’t expected any pain to be involved. She put her hands on his shoulders and dug her fingers in, hoping he’d finish quickly. She buried her face in his neck and let out a moan, hoping he’d think it was pleasure.
He finished quickly, collapsing on top of her, his fingers stroking her cheek. He didn’t know if she’d enjoyed it or not, but he certainly hoped so, because it was something he wanted to do again…soon. He rolled to his back, pulling her to him with her head on his shoulder, falling asleep quickly, content that his life was good now that he had a wife by his side.
Esther lay awake long into the night, tears streaming down her face. She’d betrayed Charlie, and for the most part, she’d enjoyed doing it. What was wrong with her?
Chapter Four
Esther woke well before Thomas the following morning and slipped out of bed to the nursery where her clothes were. She washed up and pulled her dress over her head before slipping down to the kitchen to fix breakfast for them. Not knowing her new husband’s tastes, she fixed bacon, eggs and toast. To her surprise there was no morning queasiness. Maybe that part of her pregnancy was over. She certainly hoped so. She didn’t ever want to have to go through that kind of illness again.
She blushed when he came into the kitchen for breakfast and pressed a kiss to her cheek. It was one thing to make love to a man you’d been planning to marry since you were twelve, but another entirely to do it with a man you’d known for less than forty-eight hours.
Thomas sat down at the table and accepted the huge plate of bacon and eggs. He reached for a piece of toast and buttered it while she fussed with her own breakfast. Once she was seated, he took her hand in his as he said the morning prayer. “I’ll be working on the fences today. I found a spot where the cows can get out yesterday, and I need to keep them penned.”
She nodded. “Where will that be?”
“On the south side of the property.”
“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.” She was glad he was telling her where he’d go so she wouldn’t worry as much.
Once he was off for the morning, she decided she’d make a picnic lunch they could share and take it to him. It would be fun to spend the time outside getting to know one another. She’d always enjoyed the outdoors and would like to get to know the homestead she was now living on.
She again made bacon sand
wiches and carried them out to where he’d said he would be working. She found where the fence was newly patched, but Thomas wasn’t there. She felt her heart start to beat faster as panic rolled over her. Where was he? He’d said he’d be there.
She walked through the fields gradually picking up speed as the panic overtook her. She called his name, and when there was no answer, she called again. “Thomas! Where are you?” She started to run, the picnic basket banging against her leg. She knew she shouldn’t be running, but the panic was over taking her. He wasn’t dead in the fields somewhere, was he?
“Thomas!” Her voice was frantic by that point. She knew it was, but she couldn’t stop the fear clawing at her insides.
He stepped from between the rows of corn. “I’m here. What’s wrong?” He looked genuinely confused by her panic.
She dropped the basket on the ground, tears streaming down her face. “I couldn’t find you.”
Thomas stared at his new wife in shock. Was she really that afraid of losing him while he was in the field? “I’m sorry. I finished with the fence, so I decided to start weeding. I was going to tell you where I was working when I came home for lunch.”
She nodded, her eyes still full of fear. “I wanted to have a picnic, so I took our lunch to where you said you’d be working, but you weren’t there.” She put her hand on her belly, trying to soothe herself by remembering the baby growing there. She took deep gulping breaths of air as she tried to calm the panic that had raced through her.
Thomas walked to her and pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
She wanted to scream at him to always tell her where he’d be, but she didn’t feel like she had the right to do that. It was her fault that she’d panicked. He’d had no idea she was going to surprise him with lunch, and she couldn’t yell at him for her own mistake.
“I’ll make sure you always know where I am from now on. Okay?”
She nodded against his chest, still shaking, finally pulling away. She brushed her tears aside and opened the picnic basket to spread the quilt inside on the ground. She sat on the quilt and removed the plates and the jug of lemonade from the basket, quickly putting their sandwiches on the plates and serving them each a glass of the lemonade.
Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham) Page 5
