“Thank you for bringing me lunch.” Thomas eyed her curiously as if he was wondering what was going through her head. She hadn’t said anything in a while, and he was worried about her.
She nodded, handing him his plate and taking her own. He said their prayer and they ate in silence. She wasn’t angry with him, but she was still trying to calm her racing heart.
Finally, after her silence through the meal, he asked, “Are you angry with me?” His brown eyes showed the concern he felt for her.
She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I was just really scared. When Charlie died my whole world changed. I didn’t know what to do.” If Charlie was still alive, she’d be home in Beckham eating lunch with him and not with this virtual stranger.
He took her hand in his. “I’m not going to die in the fields like Charlie did.”
“How can you be so sure? I never expected him to die in the fields either!”
He sighed, wishing he could convince her. “How did you meet Charlie?”
“In school. We were in the same class and spent all our time together from when we were twelve on. I knew I’d marry him from the time I was twelve years old. Losing him broke my heart.”
“How long were you married?”
“He died on our six month anniversary.” She looked down at the quilt, not wanting him to see the sadness in her eyes. She still missed her husband with everything inside her, but how could she tell him that? He was her new husband and deserved to be the one she loved, but she couldn’t force herself to fall in love with him any more than she could bring Charlie back.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why, but I was sure you’d been married longer than that.”
She shook her head. “No, we weren’t married long at all.”
“You couldn’t move back in with your parents after he died? Or with your in-laws?”
“No, my mother had twins right after I got married. They don’t have room for the ones still at home, let alone two more. And my mother-in-law never liked me. She’s certain that it’s somehow my fault that Charlie died.”
“What did you have to do with it? I assume you were in the house working when he died?” The baffled look on Thomas’s face had her stifling a laugh.
“She’s just never liked me. She thought that Charlie should have married someone better than me. My father is a poor farmer. Charlie’s father was a farmer, but he wasn’t poor. He gave us a section of land to farm so we could start out. We were going to pay him a little every harvest until the land was legally ours. When Charlie died, they gave me six weeks to find somewhere else to live.” She shrugged. “I never told them I was pregnant. I’m sure if I had they’d have insisted they get to keep the baby. Charlie was an only child.”
“Is that why you were in such a hurry to marry and get out of town?”
She nodded. “I didn’t know what else to do. I was looking for a job when I saw the ad for mail order brides. It seemed like the perfect answer, so here I am.” She was glad she was there. It was good to have someone else to lean on again.
“It must have been hard for you to marry someone else after losing him so suddenly.” He watched her over the top of his lemonade glass as he took another deep swallow.
“It was, but it’s the best thing for my child. He’ll never know anyone but you as his father.”
Thomas studied her for a minute. “I promise you, I’ll treat him as if he were my own.”
“Thank you.” She knew Thomas would treat him as a father. The fact that he hadn’t sent her right back to Massachusetts when she’d shown up smelling like vomit had told her a lot about his character. She looked around her. “How close are the nearest neighbors?”
“A few miles down the road. My brother is our closest neighbor. We share a boundary with him and his wife.”
“What’s his wife like?” She liked the idea of having a sister-in-law close by, because she would need a friend.
“She’s really nice. Quiet for the most part. She’s the midwife around here, and when I talked to her about you coming out she immediately said she’d be here to help with the birth.”
Esther sighed and looked down at her hands. “I wish they didn’t know that I was coming out here pregnant. I wish they thought that you were the baby’s father.”
“No one is going to think less of you for losing your first husband.”
“I almost feel like I’ve done something wrong, but I didn’t know what else to do.” She felt the tears gathering in her eyes. It was one thing for him to know she was carrying another man’s child, but did the entire community need to know about it as well?
He shook his head. “You’ve done nothing wrong. You did what you had to do for yourself and your child. And me. I’m really glad you’re here.” He took her hand in his, his eyes meeting hers. “I enjoy having you here. You make my life better in a lot of different ways.”
She smiled. “Thank you.” She didn’t know if he was happy because he was now able to have marital relations with someone or because he had someone to talk to or simply because he had someone to cook his meals and do his laundry. Whatever the reason, she was glad she wasn’t just taking from him and could give back to him as well.
She realized they’d both finished their lunches and stood up. “I need to get back home and do some work.” She still felt off-kilter enough that her lip was trembling and she fought to keep him from seeing it.
He sighed. “What are you doing today?”
“I churned some butter this morning. We were almost out. This afternoon I’m going to finish scrubbing the walls and windows on the first floor, and I’ll start cleaning the second floor tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry the house was so dirty.” He hated that she’d come here to find so much work to do.
She shook her head. “I thought it was very clean for a bachelor’s house. I should be caught up on everything tomorrow.” She carefully packed everything into the picnic basket. “Will you be working here for the rest of the day?”
“Close enough that if you walk out here and call my name, I’ll answer.” He leaned down and brushed her lips with a quick kiss. “I’ll be home around six for dinner.”
She took her time and enjoyed the walk back to the house, thankful that he hadn’t gotten angry with her for panicking when she couldn’t find him.
*****
It was while Esther was making a stew for dinner that she realized she felt a dampness between her thighs. When she checked, she found she was bleeding. Her first thought was that she was losing the baby, but there was no pain, and she’d been told that there’s usually pain involved with the loss of a baby. She left the stew on the stove and sat in the rocker, remaining as still as she could while she waited for Thomas to get home.
When Thomas walked in and saw her sitting in her rocker without having set the table for dinner, he was immediately concerned. “Are you okay?”
She raised her tear-filled eyes to him and shook her head. “I’m bleeding. I’m afraid I may be losing the baby. I couldn’t go get you, and I don’t know where the midwife is.”
Thomas swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing. What should he do? “I’m going to go get my sister-in-law. You stay right there.” He left the house at a dead run. Was he doing the right thing? She could be seen faster if he took her with him, but was it safe to move her? What was wrong?
He didn’t bother to saddle his horse, but jumped on her bareback and rode at breakneck speed to his brother’s homestead. They were just sitting down to dinner when he arrived, his hair messed from the fast pace he’d taken. He didn’t knock but instead walked right in. “Victoria! I need you. Esther is bleeding.”
Victoria asked no questions, but jumped from her chair and followed him out the door. “Go to her. I’ll saddle a horse and follow.”
He nodded, jumped onto his horse, and rode home. He knew Victoria would follow quickly. She wasn’t one of those women who worried about every little thing. If she thought she’d be able to help
faster by riding a horse instead of hitching up the wagon, then that’s exactly what she’d do. She’d want to help as soon as she could.
He stopped in front of the house and tied his horse to the porch rail. He ran into the house and found Esther sitting exactly as he’d left her, obviously afraid to move. “Victoria’s on her way. She told me to come ahead so you wouldn’t be alone.” Now that he was there, though, he had no idea what to do. He stood wringing his hands and staring at her. “Are you hungry? I can bring you a bowl of the stew you made for dinner.”
She shook her head. “No, but you go ahead and eat. I’m sure you’re hungry.” She sat perfectly still, her face pale. She couldn’t lose the baby. He was the only piece of Charlie she had left.
Thomas got himself a bowl of the stew and sat in the other rocker eating it. He didn’t know what to do, but if Victoria needed him to do something, he wanted to be ready to do whatever she asked of him.
He’d just finished the bowl when Victoria opened the door. She rushed to Esther’s side. “How bad is the bleeding?” Victoria took Esther’s hand in hers and held it tightly while she asked her questions.
Esther looked at Thomas, wishing he’d go outside. “It’s not as bad as my monthly would be, but it’s there. I don’t know what it means.”
“Are you okay to stand up and walk up the stairs? I’d like you to lie down so I can examine you.”
Esther nodded. “I’m really not in pain, just worried about the blood.”
Thomas jumped up. “Let me help.” He helped Esther to her feet and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her up the stairs. Thomas was so much thinner than Charlie had been so it was hard to imagine him being strong enough to carry her across the room, let alone up the stairs.
“Put me down! You’ll hurt yourself!”
“I’m stronger than I look. And you weigh less than a feather. You’ve got to eat more now that your morning sickness is over!” He shook his head at her as he opened the door to their bedroom.
Victoria rushed up the stairs behind them watching as Thomas carefully laid his wife on the bed. She put her hand on his shoulder. “I want you to wait outside the room.”
Thomas looked at Esther looking so small on the bed and then at his sister-in-law. “I feel like I should be here.”
Esther shook her head. “No, Thomas. Go. It’s okay.” No woman wanted to be examined there while her husband was hovering around.
Thomas rushed from the room, closing the door behind him, but stood in the hallway listening to make sure there was nothing he could do. Victoria popped her head out. “Get me some clean cloths and some water.”
Thomas hurried to do what he’d been told. He was thrilled to have something to do. He rushed down the stairs and ran back up with the rags and a pitcher of water. Knocking on the door, he handed them to Victoria when she popped her head out. “Will this work?”
Victoria nodded and closed the door again firmly in his face. He paced the hallway while he waited. At first he hadn’t liked the idea of a pregnant wife, but now he couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if she lost the baby.
It was just a few minutes when Victoria came out of the room. “She’s fine. I think she needs to be careful for a week or so. She can cook, but no major cleaning. I’ll send MaryAnn over to help with the cleaning for the next week.” She looked at Thomas. “No relations for a week or so, either.” MaryAnn was Victoria and Samuel’s oldest daughter.
He nodded embarrassed that she knew he had relations with his wife, even though he was supposed to. “What about the baby?”
“The baby seems to be doing fine. She doesn’t appear to be losing him. I’m just suggesting these things as a precaution. I don’t want her to lose him.” She studied her brother-in-law as if she were wondering how he’d feel about it.
“That’s fine. Should I make her stay in bed?”
Victoria shook her head. “That’s probably not necessary. Just make sure she doesn’t do a lot of cleaning. If there’s anything she wants done, we’ll just have MaryAnn do it. Do you mind if she sleeps in the nursery for the week?”
“MaryAnn? No, that’s fine. We’ll be happy to have her help.” He looked toward the closed door. “Can I go see her?”
“Of course.”
Thomas opened the door and went to stand beside the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“I feel fine. I’m just worried about the baby.” Her hand automatically went to her stomach and she rubbed the small mound.
“Are you hungry? I’ll bring you some stew.”
Esther nodded and sat up. “I am hungry. I’ll go down and get my own, though. Victoria said I don’t have to stay in bed. I just need to be careful.”
Thomas stood by helplessly while she stood up. “I’ll carry you down the stairs.”
“There’s no need for that. I’ll go down on my own.”
He followed along behind her, worried. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they found Victoria serving them each a bowl of food and washing the few dishes she could. “I’ll send Samuel over with MaryAnn when I get home.”
Thomas nodded. “If you’ll wait, I’ll ride with you.”
“There’s no need. The distance is short and I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. MaryAnn will be here tonight. I want her to finish the dishes, so don’t get up and do them.” She gave Esther a stern look. “Do you understand me?”
Esther nodded. “I feel like I’m a burden on everyone.”
“You’re not. You’ve had a tough few months. That long journey didn’t help you any.” She put her bonnet on and walked to the door. “I’ll be back in a week to get my daughter and make sure you’re okay.”
“Thank you for coming so quickly.”
“You’re welcome. I’m just glad to have a new sister.”
Chapter Five
MaryAnn was there within the hour, and Esther got to meet Samuel for the first time. She was surprised at the strong resemblance between the brothers. Samuel and Thomas were identical, except Samuel’s hair had a light dusting of gray.
MaryAnn asked no questions and simply started to work on the dishes. Esther introduced herself, but MaryAnn just nodded shyly. “Thank you for doing the dishes for me.”
MaryAnn nodded. “Ma said I couldn’t do anything else ‘til the dishes were done.”
Samuel watched as his daughter went to work and then turned to the door. “Victoria will be here for her in a week.” He clapped a hand to his brother’s shoulder. “Take care of my girl.”
Thomas nodded. “You know I will.”
It was late by the time the dishes were finished. Esther was thrilled for the help, but it was hard for her to sit and watch the dishes being done in her home without jumping up to help. She wasn’t used to sitting idle while others worked around her.
When they were settled into bed that night, Thomas pulled her into his arms and held her. “I’m glad the baby is okay.”
Esther nodded. “I was so scared.” She’d been certain she was going to lose the baby that afternoon, and she couldn’t bear the thought of losing the last piece of her first husband.
“I’m going to buy a dinner bell that you can ring if you need me.”
“You won’t be able to hear it everywhere on the land, so there’s no point. I’ll be okay.” She didn’t want him to waste money on something so frivolous when it wouldn’t necessarily solve their problems anyway.
He sighed. “You’re probably right, but I’m going to be afraid to leave you now.”
“MaryAnn will be here for at least a week. She can come and get you if anything goes wrong.” She knew it was a temporary solution, but he should be calmer about her health and the health of the baby within a week. She hoped he would at least.
He ran his hand down her back, wishing they could do more than just lie together in bed. “I know. After she’s gone, it’s going to be harder, though.”
Esther smiled. “You know I’ve lived alone for m
ost of my pregnancy with no one to check on me, right?”
He shrugged. “You weren’t my wife then.”
She smiled, closing her eyes. He may not be Charlie, she thought, but he sure does care about this baby. She knew then she’d made the right decision when she married him. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.
*****
Esther woke up and stretched, noting that the other side of the bed was empty. She hurried and got up to go down and fix breakfast. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she found MaryAnn had already fixed bacon, eggs and toast. She took her place at the table while MaryAnn served them. “Your ma said I could do the cooking!” she protested.
MaryAnn shrugged. “She told me the less you did, the better.” She sat down and folded her hands, waiting for her uncle to pray for them.
Esther bowed her head, thankful for the sweet girl who was working so hard for her. She was only ten, but she certainly knew her way around a kitchen and knew how to clean.
When Thomas left for the fields he told her where he’d be, and made her promise to be careful.
She spent most of the first day of MaryAnn’s visit sitting in her rocker working on the baby’s blanket. MaryAnn spoke little, which Esther was learning seemed to be a family trait, but she worked hard. She cleaned the upstairs bedrooms and cooked every meal. Every time Esther suggested she get up and help, MaryAnn would tell her she could do it and ask her to sit back down.
Esther wasn’t sure how long she could handle sitting and doing nothing but knitting, but she would do her best. MaryAnn fixed a simple supper of beans and cornbread, but Esther was so hungry she ate every bite and got seconds.
Thomas watched her eat with a smile. “I’m so happy to see you have an appetite now.”
“I am too. The queasiness is finally gone and I feel like a new woman.” She was so happy to be able to eat again, she was ready to dance. Of course, everyone would just tell her to sit down again.
Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham) Page 6
