First And Last

by Stacey Kennedy

  My anger grew and I unleashed it. “I Don’t. Want. To. Do. This.” I glanced around the room and met every gaze here. “I want you all to live in peace and just go about your business doing your Black Magic stuff. I just don’t want innocent souls to be taken. Is that seriously too much to fucking ask?” The room was dead silent while I had my little meltdown. “I. Do. Not. Want. To. Kill. You.” My words came out slow and full of rage, and ensured that she and the others here got my point. “I’ve seen enough death, but you keep pushing, driving me to only one option.”

  Teeny-bopper opened her mouth, but shut it again instantly. She was obviously rendered speechless by my outburst.

  “Don’t you all just want to live? There is more to life than the taking of innocent souls. Don’t you have friends? Lovers?” I drew in angry breath in and started to pace. “There’s more to life than just acting all evil and mean.”

  Haven giggled behind me.

  I stomped my foot and stopped in front of them. “Dammit! Well, you did this to yourself and I’m not going to feel bad about it.”

  Fear crossed each of the demons faces and before they could act. I lifted my hand, and traced the pentacle in front of me. My finger tingled as energy flooded me. It didn’t take long to complete the rune and when I finished the circle, a loud swish of air grazed through the auditorium. Teeny-bopper’s hair swept across her face.

  Gasps came all around me as the Pentacle growled brightly with a shimmering white light. “Er…it’s not doing anything.” I quickly glanced at Quinney.

  She shrugged in return.

  I looked back at the rune, and suddenly, something deep within me flared to life. This rune wasn’t like the other one I’d drawn. This one was connected to me, mine to use. I raised my hands up in the air, felt the magic from the rune pour into my soul, and when the energy was almost too much to bear, my hands shot forward and I screamed, “Banish thee.”

  Just as the words left my mouth, wind poured through the auditorium, and loud piercing screams forced me to my knees. My hands covered my ears and tried to deafen the sound. I managed to open my eyes to see my magic circle around us, swirl in a foggy mist around the demons as they screamed and writhed in pain.

  A second later, a flash of light erupted, and just like that, it vanished, demons included. “Holy sugar shit.” I stood, breathless.

  Everyone in front of me, Talon, Zia, Ryker, even Kyden, returned to their feet. The Underworlds in the bleachers rose from under their seats. Cowards.

  Finn jumped to his feet and ran toward Haven. “Haven. Haven.”

  Confusion gripped me. I didn’t sense anything wrong with her. What was he going on about?

  He scooped her up and hugged her tight. “Are you hurt?”

  “Finn, put me down,” she demanded. “Why on earth would I be hurt?”

  He placed her on her feet, his gaze more protective than I’d ever seen it, which only confused me. “Are you okay…” I started.

  She interrupted me and blushed. “I’m fine. Finn is being stupid.” She waved away the concern with her hand and pushed Finn away.

  “It worked,” Misa’s quiet voice said from behind me.

  I spun around, witnessed their faces show a thousand emotions all at once. Now, I blushed. I really hated being in the spotlight like this. “I guess it did.”

  Kyden stepped forward and pulled me to him. He lowered his head and gave me a kiss that sent butterflies floating about in my stomach. “You’re incredible.”

  Arousal stirred and it wasn’t mine. Seeing my strength did one thing and one thing only—got him hard in a second flat! Usually I’d be more inclined to indulge in this line of thinking, but I was too shocked by what just happened to really focus on anything else.

  Ryker laughed loudly, and gave me a hard slap on the back. “Now that was just the type of show I was looking for.”

  Again, I ignored him and looked back at Azar. “Are we done here then?”

  He shook his head, then glanced at the crowd. “You have witnessed our Lady in action. Do any of you doubt what she is capable of?” No one said a word. “Right then, take your leave and remember the rules. Be sure not to forget what happened tonight. It’ll be your fate if you break those laws.”

  The crowd quickly left the auditorium, and once the room cleared, Zia quickly stepped forward and took my hand. “Now, tell me what is going on?”

  I took a deep breath, then told her all the past events as simply as I could. By the time I finished, she and Talon just stared at me. Haven and the others just kept looking at each other in shock.

  Talon finally broke the silence. “Did you just say that Mammon, the Demon Lord, has been released from the Realm of the Dead?”

  I nodded. “Quinney recognized him immediately.”

  “I have had no dealings with these Demon Lords.” Talon’s brows drew together in unhappiness. “They were before my time.”

  Misa laughed. “Before most of our times I’m sure.”

  “This is unheard of.” Zia glanced at Azar. “What will you do now?”

  Azar shrugged. “As I’ve told Nexi, I have no answers at this time.” He glanced to me with an expectant look came upon his face. “What do you think we should do?”

  “I haven’t a clue,” I replied. Like I knew how to fix all this, I was still trying to process it all. Really, I wasn’t the one to look to for answers.

  Azar stepped forward, his eyes bore into mine. “Are you so sure of that?”

  “What the hell is he talking about?” I snapped to myself…or so I thought.

  “Haven’t a clue,” Kyden answered.

  “No idea,” Zia added.

  “Er…I’m pretty sure of that, yes.”

  Azar sighed tiredly, his gaze frustrated. “You’re withholding yourself. Why is that?”

  “Withholding myself…from what?”

  Zia laughed as did Kyden, but I was at a loss as to what he was trying to tell me.

  Azar examined me, cocked his head to the side. “You have such amazing abilities, yet, you don’t seek to discover them. You withhold yourself until you just happen to stumble upon it or need it.”

  “Not this again.” Over and over the same shit repeated itself. I continually heard this exact conversation numerous times, while training with Kyden, then alongside Zia. It was always the same. I doubted my ability, didn’t accept it as true, and it took a good hard reminder from each of them to set me straight.

  “This is a habit of hers?” Azar asked Zia.

  She appeared well amused. “Her human instincts hinder her ability to believe.”

  “Ahh,” Azar stated. “I see.”

  “You see what?” Okay, this was far past annoying. I felt like the third person here when being talked about. I didn’t like it one bit.

  Azar leaned back a bit and crossed his arms as he studied me. “There’s something to you. Something I’ve yet to figure out. I truly believe for us to succeed in banishing Mammon, we’ll need to follow the witch Quinney has mentioned in the Diabolus Somes. The one who holds similar abilities to you. I suspect the level of magic you share is comparable. Since we’re unaware of who this was we cannot seek their assistance in this matter. Therefore, we must learn what we need to from you.”

  I guffawed. “Good luck with that.”

  “Have you ever tested her to see where this strength comes from?” Azar asked Zia.

  “No,” she answered. “I didn’t want to push her. It has been…” she hesitated and smiled at me, “challenging for her to accept this new life and train in her new roles. We haven’t had much time to look into anything further. To be honest, I assumed it was her mixed heritage, but now,” she hesitated again and looked over at me curiously, “that you mention it, is there more to her mixed heritage, something that makes her so unique?”

  “You know, I’m right here.” I said, irritation with both of them reaching sky-high limits. “Why are you talking like I’m
not?”

  Kyden chuckled, which he tried to disguise as a cough and failed.

  Azar smiled. “It’s time then to discover who you really are and where these special gifts come from.” He reached forward and took my hands. “Close your eyes, Nexi. Settle yourself.”

  “What are you doing?” I demanded, tried to rip my hands away from him.

  He smiled, his eyes danced with laughter. “Just close your eyes.”

  I glanced at Kyden and he nodded encouragingly. I grumbled something nasty, took Azar’s hands back in mine and shut my eyes, hoped to get this over with. The sooner I shut up, the sooner we could go on to something else. I seriously had zero idea what he was looking for. I was a Guardian and a Spirit Witch. That’s it.

  “Quiet yourself,” Azar hummed. “Quiet the Guardian and the Witch within you. Settle those parts of you until there’s nothing left except empty space.”

  Easier said than done. I was both entities. How do I separate those parts from myself? This was impossible.

  Azar continued, “There’s more to you than what you know. There’s more beneath the magic that lives within you. Search for it. Define it. What is there?”

  “Er…nothing,” I quipped.

  Haven laughed loudly.

  Zia touched my shoulder, and a blast of calmness spread through me. I sighed from the peace and comfort of it and went still.

  “You know why you are so powerful.” Azar continued.

  I did?

  “You’re special. There are no others like you. You’re gifted by a source that’s something different. What is it?”

  I tried to find answers for him, wanted to give them to him. I searched deep. Why was I gifted this way—stronger than everyone else and able to do things that no one else could?

  After some time of searching deep, going through the layers of the Guardian power and my magic abilities, something filtered through. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before and was foreign to me. A sense of power coursed through my blood. It wasn’t an element or energy per se. It was light.

  That’s exactly what it felt like, a strong beam of light that glowed bright within me and not like a happy light—the heaven above kind of light—just pure power.

  Definitely something strong and real, but what exactly? I wasn’t sure what the source was or why it was there. I definitely would have a hard time describing it to Azar. If it wasn’t my Guardian power, or the elemental based magic, just what the heck was it?

  Just as I pondered that, something caught my attention and had nothing to do with this power inside of me. A pull grabbed hold of me, yanked me forward, and even though my eyes were closed, they drifted over to Haven. Her outline glowed before me.

  A shimmering white light surrounded her body, but centered low in her belly was a blue glittering glow. Warmth and happiness shot straight through me.

  My eyes snapped open. “You’re pregnant.”

  Azar gasped. “I’m what?”

  I laughed, as did everyone else. “Not you, silly.” Then, I glanced at Haven. “You.” I pointed right at her stomach. “You’re pregnant.”

  My hand twitched to smack myself in the head. How had I not seen it with Finn’s extra protectiveness? I felt abashed that I hadn’t noticed all the little signs. The pickiness over food, the glow in Haven’s eyes, and the way she kept touching her stomach. It just never occurred to me.

  Haven’s eyes went wide the moment I said it. “Gosh, thanks for the letting the cat out of the bag.”

  “Oops.” I put my hand over my mouth and said beneath it, “Sorry. It just…er…spilled out.”

  She gave me a forgiving grin and the feeling rushed right through me. She was happy that I knew.

  Azar interrupted our little blissful moment. “What did you feel?”

  “Not now.” I waved him off and trotted over to Haven. “You’re really pregnant?” I glanced between her and Finn.

  Finn nodded and smiled brilliantly.

  “We are.” Haven answered, patting her stomach.

  “Holy cannoli!” I glanced at Kyden, who was alight with happiness. “That’s so exciting.” Then a thought struck me. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  Haven shrugged. “I didn’t want to jinx it. I was waiting until I passed the two week mark, just in case.”

  The two week mark?

  Kyden stepped in next to me, obviously read my confusion. “Supernatural younglings are born within four months. The chance of a miscarriage usually happens within the first two weeks.”

  “Oh.” I glanced at Haven, took her in my arms and hugged her tight. “I’m so happy for you guys. I didn’t even know you were trying.”

  Haven hugged me back, sank right into me, and I felt the warmth of her hug. “We decided a little while ago and had Zia release the magic on Finn.”

  Zia was the Otherworld’s birth control pill. A little magic went a long way. As Haven admitted that, a tinge of annoyance hit me. “Why would you not tell me this? We never kept secrets.”

  Haven’s smile turned into a frown as she leaned in and whispered. “You’ve been through so much this past little while. It seemed so tiny in comparison.”

  “This,” I stepped closer to her and placed my hand on her stomach. “Is huge, Haven. Promise me, you’ll never keep something like this from me again.”

  She nodded in earnest. “Okay, I promise.”

  My heart sank a little. It royally sucked ass that Haven felt she couldn’t tell me her happy news because my life is so chaotic. That something this important didn’t compare—didn’t matter. I gulped back the yucky feeling, desperate not to ruin this moment. I reached out to Finn and hugged him. “Ahh…you guys are going to have the cutest youngling ever.”

  Finn chuckled in my ear. “Let’s hope so.”

  “Of course we will.” Haven smacked his arm after I released him. “She’ll be the cutest.”

  “She?” Finn asked with raised brows.

  “Just a feelin’.” Haven smiled.

  Azar cleared his throat, drew my gaze back to his. “How did you know she was pregnant?”

  “It was kinda like a pull. As if I needed to look at her, and when I did, a bluish light glowed around her belly. I don’t know.” I shrugged, mildly embarrassed at his awed look. “I just knew.”

  “I hate to interrupt, Nexi, but did you discover anything?” Misa looked to Azar as well. “We need to hear if you discovered anything else. Time is pressing.”

  Oh, right, I’d totally forgotten about the whole search within yourself bit. “I definitely feel something I never did before. It feels kinda like…well…a source of power, but I have no idea what it’s from. It doesn’t feel like the Guardian power or the elements, it just feels different. Does that make any sense?”

  Azar nodded, then took my hand. “Does it feel like this?” With his touch came a wave of darkness to slither through my blood.

  I snapped my hand away and growled at him. “Yuck, no.”

  Azar’s gaze was hard as he studied me. “So, it isn’t the Guardian power or White Magic. It has nothing to do with Black Magic.”

  Zia’s gaze mirrored Azar’s. “So what is it then?”

  After a long period of silence and the examining looks started to get on my nerves, I’d had enough. “It’s me! That’s what it is.”

  Zia smiled softly and kissed my cheek. “Yes, Sweetie, it is you.”

  Azar turned to Quinney, gestured toward the book she held in her hands. “Leave the Diabolus Somes with her. Let her read it.”

  Quinney began to approach me, but I adamantly held my hands up. “I don’t want that thing.”

  “You’re the best person to read this,” Azar said. “Study the runes. See if any of them call to you or make any sense to you.”

  Quinney placed the book in my shaky hands but I held it away from my body. “We need to discover a rune to banish Mammon back to the Realm of the Dead and quickly. The longer he is
on Earth, the more strength he will gain. We cannot allow this. If we do, he’ll begin to do these rituals himself.” She looked desolate. “This is not something we want to happen.”

  “Yeah, no shit,” I managed.

  “There are many unmarked runes in the Diabolus Somes. Ones that have been drawn, but unclaimed,” Tyde said. “By the look of them, they appear to be White Magic based, but their purpose is unknown. Kyden can translate the Latin if need be.”

  “Keep an open mind,” Azar added. “Let the runes speak to you. I believe the right rune you need will show itself to you.”