Reluctant Dad

by Carla Cassidy

  “Whoa, slow down,” Dominic exclaimed. “We don’t know there are any answers there. We don’t even know for sure if Bill lived someplace else between Canon Creek and Wilford. You heard what Matt said, there’s a two-year window where we don’t know where he was or what he was doing.”

  “But at least Canon Creek is a place to start.” Melissa felt as if she would explode from the frustration that simmered inside her. “I can’t afford to leave anything to chance. In seven weeks I go on trial for murder. If we don’t get some answers, I’ll spend the rest of my life in prison.”

  Dominic raked a hand through his hair and sank down at the table. “You’ve got to trust that Samantha and Tyler and Richard will see to it that you don’t spend the rest of your life in prison.”

  “Trust?” She stared at him incredulously. All the frustrations, all the uncertainty of the past weeks seemed to pull together into a tight knot of anger in her chest. “I trusted my father when I was young, and he returned that trust by being cold and distant, reminding me over and over again that Samantha was the smart one and I’d better marry quickly because I wasn’t smart enough for much else.”

  Tears spilled from her eyes, but they weren’t tears of grief or sadness. They were tears of unadulterated anger burning down her cheeks. “I trusted Bill, and what a laugh that was. He lied and cheated and he—” She stopped and bit her lip to still the passage of heated words.

  “And he what?” Dominic stared at her intently.

  “And...and he betrayed our vows with Grace.” She flushed and averted her gaze from his.

  “Okay, your father and Bill were bastards. But you trust Samantha and Tyler, don’t you?”

  She drew a deep breath, willing the burst of anger away. She couldn’t afford to lose control, to let slip things she wanted nobody to know. “Of course I trust them,” she replied.

  “What about me? Do you trust me, Melissa?” His gaze seemed to penetrate her skin, right through to her soul.

  She thought of their lovemaking the week before, the utter giving that she’d received from him. Her mind flashed with visions of him holding Jamie, helping with dinner preparation, the little things that happened all day that proved him a man of integrity.

  “Of course I trust you,” she finally answered.

  Dominic leaned forward, his gaze still holding her intently. “Then tell me what you haven’t told me.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She felt the blood leave her face as the lie fell from her lips.

  “Yes, you do,” he countered. “You’re hiding something. If you can’t trust me enough to tell me, then how can I help you?”

  “There’s nothing to tell.” Melissa’s voice was flat, her momentary burst of anger gone, leaving behind only a bone-weariness. She averted her gaze from his and sank down at the table across from him. “I’m so confused, Dominic. I was married to a man who apparently had affairs and changed his name, a man whose past seems to be made up of smoke and mirrors.” She sighed and leaned back in the chair. “I don’t know. Maybe my father was right. Maybe I am stupid. I mean, I didn’t see any signs that Bill was having an affair. I didn’t suspect anything.”

  “You aren’t a stupid woman, Melissa,” Dominic told her. “Bill was just very good at hiding things.” He frowned and shook his head slightly, as if she’d stirred something inside him that was unpleasant. “Maybe I could take a trip to Canon Creek. It’s only an hour-and-a-half drive. I could check things out, see if there’s anything there that might help.”

  “Oh, Dominic, would you?” She grabbed his hand and pulled it close to her heart. “It would mean so much to me. I’d feel so much better knowing we’d left nothing to chance.”

  “I’ll talk to Samantha and Tyler and make the necessary arrangements.” He pulled his hand away from her grip. “In fact, I’ve been meaning to talk to them anyway. I think it’s time we let you have your house back to yourself.”

  Melissa looked at him in surprise. “What?” She was shocked by the anguish that ripped through her at the thought. She couldn’t imagine this place without him, couldn’t imagine not seeing him first thing in the morning and last thing before she went to sleep. “But...but why?”

  He stood, his features unreadable. He leaned against the refrigerator, looking so handsome, so virile, that Melissa felt a recurrent stir of desire deep within her. “Melissa, I’ve been here over a month and nothing has happened to indicate that your life is in danger.”

  “But what about the night the alarm went off? Somebody tried to break into the nursery,” she protested.

  “That might have been a reporter who stumbled against the window screen, a nosy neighbor trying to see into the house—it could have been anything.” He raked a hand through his hair and walked across the room to stand by the window. He stared outside, his posture rigid. “I can’t remain here indefinitely.” He turned and looked at her once again. “This is your home. I don’t belong here. Sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with getting on with your life.”

  “I know.” Just not yet, she wanted to say, but didn’t. She knew he was right. There had been no threats, no reason to believe she was in any danger. It was time for her to let him go back to his life...time to reclaim her own.

  “Look, I’m not going to do anything until I talk with Samantha and Tyler.” His tone was gentle, as if he knew the thought of him leaving would unsettle her. “Now, in the meantime, didn’t you say something about needing to get some groceries?”

  She nodded and stood. “I have a list of things I need to pick up.”

  Dominic looked at his watch. “It’s almost noon. Why don’t we go on into town and grab some lunch at the diner, then do the shopping.”

  “Okay. I’ll just get Jamison ready.”

  It took her only minutes to change Jamison’s diaper and dress him in a two-piece outfit with matching little socks.

  As she dressed the baby, she tried to imagine the house, her life without Dominic. It was nearly impossible. He’d become such a part of her daily existence. But she knew he was right. He was here with her because he’d been hired to do a job. He believed his job was done, so there was no reason for him to remain.

  Except she wanted him to. She wanted him to take her in his arms once again, she wanted to feel his body against her own, taste the passion on his lips. But that wasn’t fair, either. She’d told him on the night they’d made love that for that moment there was no yesterday, no tomorrow. It wasn’t fair for her to try to claim his tomorrows now—not when she wasn’t sure how many she had left.

  Even if she did manage to beat the murder charges, she knew she would be a fool to pursue a relationship with Dominic. She had a feeling he was a man who would brook no secrets in a relationship, and she absolutely refused to part with the secret that burned in her soul, the secret that filled her with humiliation.

  She picked up the baby along with his infant carrier and left the room.

  Moments later they were on their way into the heart of Wilford. It was another gorgeous late-spring day and Melissa rolled her window partway down to enjoy the warm summerlike breeze. It was almost sinful to think of murder on such a beautiful day, but murder filled Melissa’s head.

  “Maybe Grace killed Bill because he told her he wouldn’t leave me and the baby.” Even as she said the words, she knew it was a ridiculous supposition. Grace Harrison was no more capable of committing such an act than Melissa herself. “Never mind, that was stupid.”

  Dominic smiled. “It’s not stupid to speculate. Right now, speculation is about all we have. But if I had to guess, I’d guess that the killer was male, not female.”

  “Why?” Melissa looked at him curiously, trying to ignore how the wind ruffled his hair into charming disarray.

  He frowned, as if the idea was forming in his head as the words left his mouth. “The method of killing, the rage involved.” He shrugged. “It just feels male to me.”

  “Will you still go to Canon Cr
eek?”

  He gazed at her quickly and offered a smile. “Melissa, I’m moving out of your house, not off the case. I plan on doing whatever I can to help your defense.”

  “Thank you. I’m grateful for all you’ve done already.” Somehow the words sounded incredibly inadequate after what they’d shared.

  His brow wrinkled. “I know.”

  They fell silent for the remainder of the drive to the diner. Always, before, their silences had been comfortable ones. This one felt tense, full of regrets and words unspoken. Melissa knew it was just her mood coloring the moment.

  She felt guilty for lying to him earlier, when he’d asked her about what she was holding back. Even a lie of omission was a lie. But in revealing Bill’s abuse, she would add nothing to the case except complications. Nothing positive could be gained by it.

  “You hungry?” Dominic asked as he parked the car in the diner lot.

  “Yes, I am.” She smiled, deciding to push thoughts of the murder, of all the uncertainties of her life, aside for the moment. This was the first time she and Dominic had ventured out of the house for a meal, and she intended to enjoy both the food and the company.

  They took a booth near the front of the diner. Melissa placed the infant seat next to her as Dominic slid in across from her. The diner was a popular place for local business people to grab quick lunches and shoppers to seek sustenance between stores.

  “Must be a little early for the lunch crowd,” Dominic observed as he looked at all the empty tables and booths.

  Melissa looked at her watch and nodded. “It’s only a few minutes after eleven. The crowd should start coming in within the next half hour.” Actually, Melissa was glad there were few diners. She hadn’t been out in public much since Bill’s funeral, and she couldn’t forget the morbid curiosity and the hint of accusation of those in attendance.

  Still, Wilford was her home and the people here were her neighbors. She needed to look them in the eye, show she wasn’t embarrassed to go out in public, that she had nothing to hide or feel guilty about.

  She opened a menu and studied it, once again trying to cast off her gloomy melancholy and simply enjoy the outing. “Hmm, I must be hungrier than I thought because everything sounds wonderful,” she exclaimed. “I think I’m going to have the chicken-fried steak.”

  “Hmm, sounds good.” Dominic closed his menu and looked at Jamie, who chewed on his fist as if it were a gourmet meal. “It won’t be long before that little guy will be big enough to sit in a high chair and demand his own food.”

  “Don’t remind me.” She looked at her son, her heart swelling with protective love. “Children grow up so fast. In a heartbeat they go from baby to toddler, from toddler to teenager.”

  “Whoa, I’ve barely got him sitting up, and you’ve already got him driving a car.”

  Melissa laughed. “Believe me, I’m in no hurry for him to grow up. I want him to have a wonderful, carefree childhood.”

  The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the waitress. She took their orders, cooed to Jamie, then departed. Melissa took a sip of her water, studying Dominic.

  As always, he looked handsome and utterly masculine in a navy T-shirt and his worn, tight-fitting jeans. His hair was still slightly mussed by the breeze that had blown through the car, but it only added to his appeal. Just remembering the heat of his kisses, the gentle touch of his hands, created a swirl of warmth inside her.

  Soon he would be walking out of her life and she had a feeling that despite what they’d shared, he would never look back.

  “You have regrets, Dominic?” she asked.

  His dark brows rose in surprise. “Regrets?”

  She nodded. “You know...about things that have happened in your life, people who have passed through—” She broke off, a blush warming her cheeks.

  Dominic’s eyes darkened and he leaned back in the booth, his brow furrowed in thought. “Sure, I’ve got regrets. Doesn’t everyone?”

  “Tell me about them.” Melissa leaned forward as well, wondering if it was possible to regret things that hadn’t yet been. Because as she looked into Dominic’s dark eyes, she felt a million regrets for what would never be.

  “What’s the point of talking about them?” he countered, his eyes glazed with shutters that kept her out. “Dwelling on regrets is a useless waste of energy. Thinking about things that can’t be changed, actions that can’t be called back.” A touch of anger had filled his voice, as if by the question alone she’d delved too deeply into his personal space and he resented it.

  Melissa suddenly realized that although she and Dominic had shared the same home for the past month, had even shared physical intimacy, there were still spaces he hadn’t allowed her into, just as she had guarded pieces of herself.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” she said.

  He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

  The waitress appeared with their orders, her presence dispelling any lingering tension. While they ate, their conversation was light and easy. They chose mundane topics—the weather, the town, the food—to talk about, carefully steering clear of more unpleasant subjects.

  For the duration of the meal, Melissa was almost able to forget that she was a murder suspect, and that her husband had been the victim of an unexplained homicide. For the first time in months—no years—she felt like a normal young woman enjoying a meal with an attractive male.

  They lingered over coffee until Jamie got fussy. “We’d better get on to the grocery store and then get him home for a nap,” Melissa finally said as she finished her second cup of coffee.

  Twenty minutes later, Melissa situated Jamie and his infant seat in a grocery cart and started down the first aisle of the store. Dominic walked beside her and for a moment it was tempting for Melissa to fantasize that they were a married couple out on their weekly shopping trip.

  It was a fantasy she had to resist, knowing that to fall under its spell would only sharpen the ache of her regret later on.

  As she filled the basket, by placing the items around Jamie’s infant carrier, she noticed that Dominic added nothing to the food supplies, offered no advice on what she should buy. She knew it was because in his mind he’d already left her, had no intention of remaining in the house, eating this food.

  The knowledge pierced her heart, as if he were already gone from her, and she realized then the depth of her feelings where Dominic was concerned. She loved him. She nearly dropped a loaf of bread as she recognized the emotion that filled her heart, with both joy and bittersweet pain.

  Wrong time, wrong place—right man. It was as if fate held out a shining gold coin to a pauper, dangled it tantalizingly close, only to snatch it away before the poor man could grasp it.

  She carefully kept her gaze averted from Dominic’s, not wanting him to see what was in her heart. It would only complicate things. Love had no place in her life—not now, and perhaps not ever.

  “I’m going to pick up a few personal items,” Dominic said. “I’ll meet you by the cashier.”

  She nodded, relieved as he walked ahead down the aisle and disappeared around the corner. When he’d gone, she leaned against the cart, a deep sorrow invading her soul.

  Love had been elusive throughout her life. She’d loved her father, who’d been incapable of returning that love. She’d loved Bill, and that love had been used against her, wielded with power and abuse.

  And now, she was in love with a good man, a man she knew didn’t have the capacity for cruelty, a man who deserved loving and being loved by a good woman. It broke her heart to know she wasn’t that woman, and never would be.

  She leaned down and touched Jamie’s cheek. Dominic didn’t even want to be godfather to her son. Why on earth would he want to be a stepfather? Straightening her shoulders, she pushed the cart down the aisle and into the next one, almost colliding with Grace Harrison.

  For a moment the two women faced each other in silent shock. Meliss
a knew that most women, when faced with their husband’s lover, would feel resentment; but as she gazed at the wan, achingly thin young woman, the only thing she felt was sympathy.

  She knew Grace had been just another of Bill’s victims, caught in a web of his lies and manipulation. Grace’s face blossomed with the fire of a blush. She mumbled something and turned as if to leave.

  “Grace.” Melissa’s mouth was dry. She had no idea what she intended to say, but felt the need to say something. Grace turned back to her, her body still poised as if to flee, her eyes widened as if expecting a physical blow.

  “I didn’t kill him,” Melissa said.

  “Then who did?” Grace’s eyes filled with tears.

  “I don’t know. I can only tell you it wasn’t me.”

  Grace shrugged and swiped at her tears. “I never really thought you did it.” She averted her gaze. “I know you probably hate me. I—I never meant to fall in love with him.” Her tears came faster, and she stopped wiping at them, as if realizing the futility of the gesture. “He—he was going to take me away from here. He made me feel so important. He made me feel beautiful and funny and so smart.”

  Melissa listened to her with a growing sense of horror and fascination. She shouldn’t be standing here, listening to this, but a perverse interest kept her in place. It was as if Grace had been a witness to Melissa’s budding relationship with Bill when she’d first met him.

  “He listened to me...really listened to me like nobody else ever had in my life.”

  Melissa’s blood chilled as she heard the words she’d said to Dominic explaining Bill’s initial attraction now echoed by Grace.

  “I’ve got to go. I—I—” Grace turned and ran, whatever she’d been about to say lost amid choking sobs.

  Melissa fought the impulse to run after her. What more could be said? They were both victims, casualties of Bill’s lies. And Melissa had a feeling there was another victim, a blond woman in a wedding dress. What had happened to her? Maybe Dominic could find that answer, along with others, on his trip to Canon Creek.

  She pushed her cart toward the produce section, eager to finish the shopping and get Jamie home for his nap. He was fussy, emitting little cries of displeasure. She knew he wanted his own bed in his own room. She also knew Dominic was probably waiting for her at the checkout.