Reluctant Dad

by Carla Cassidy

  He nodded, his eyes still dark with an emotion she couldn’t discern.

  “I think I’ll go check on the baby,” she finally said, afraid that pursuing the discussion would only aggravate him more. She started to leave but hesitated when he called her name. She turned back to him.

  “Before I leave for Canon Creek in the morning, is there anything you need to tell me? Anything at all you haven’t told me about Bill?”

  “I—no—of course not.” She stumbled over the words. What would happen if she finally confessed to him that Bill had been an abusive husband? What would he think if she finally bared the secret that had burned in her soul for so long?

  She stood there, staring at him. The words begged to be released, the secret laid open, but still she held it inside. Because for her, the real source of shame wasn’t that Bill had abused her...but that somehow she’d deserved it. “There’s nothing,” she finally said.

  “Okay,” he replied, disappointment drawing his eyebrows closer together. “Okay, then that’s that.”

  There was such a note of finality in his words, Melissa knew that something had broken between them—something she hadn’t even been fully aware existed. “Dominic, I...”

  This time he held up his hand to quiet her. “Tomorrow I go to Canon Creek, and hopefully I’ll gain some answers that will give you back your life. Then I can get back to my own.”

  Melissa nodded, her heart heavier than she could ever remember it having been. She turned and walked down the hallway toward the nursery, somehow knowing that she’d lost Dominic before she’d ever had him.

  Chapter 13

  Dominic rolled down his car window, allowing in the scent of the green fields and farmlands he passed as he drove toward Canon Creek. The wedding picture of Bill and the mysterious woman was in his breast pocket, along with a more recent photo of Bill. But his thoughts were far distant from the farms he passed, far away from Bill and the mystery bride. Dominic’s every thought was filled with Melissa.

  Melissa. He’d known the first time he’d seen her in Samantha’s office that she was a woman who could make his heart ache, weaken his knees and muddle his mind. That was why he’d steered clear of her for so long. She’d been married, and there was no place in her life for Dominic. Then Bill had died and Dominic had been swept into her life at the whim of fate.

  The problem was he had fallen in love with Melissa and what she gave him in return felt like manipulation. After they’d made love, she had seemed to assure him so easily that that was all she expected from him. Like Abigail. No emotional entanglements, just a warm body to cling to, a male to have dinner with and make love to.

  Melissa was lost, her world destroyed by an unknown assailant. Dominic was convenient to hang on to, offering momentary respites from pain in exchange for long moments of passion.

  He realized he wanted to be more to her than a temporary respite, an impermanent safe haven against a world gone mad. But he would be a fool to offer himself up, expose his heart to her as he’d done with Abigail.

  He’d been down this road before, and knew it led to heartache. There was only one thing he wanted to do: find out who had killed Bill, clear Melissa of all the charges against her, give her back her life. He would let her keep whatever secrets darkened her eyes, those things she refused to reveal. Then he would walk away, his heart bruised but not broken.

  The drive to Canon Creek was a pleasant one. The day was another sunny presummer show of warmth and sunshine. The rural landscape soothed him, filled him with a peace he hadn’t felt for a long time.

  He was healing. Finally, the horror of being arrested, of being charged with Abigail’s murder and seeing friends fall away, had ebbed. He had begun to realize that much of the isolation he’d felt through the ordeal had been of his own making.

  He’d pulled inside himself, haunted by shame, tormented by thoughts of his weakness where Abigail was concerned. His guilt had been over loving blindly—a mistake he wouldn’t make again. Abigail had had secrets in her eyes, and he’d dismissed them, ignored them until it was too late. He would never again fully trust himself to a woman with secrets.

  He sat up straighter in the seat as the speed limit lowered and a sign announced the town of Canon Creek. Even smaller than Wilford, the business district of Canon Creek consisted of a few stores lined up along a short block on Main Street.

  He drove slowly, unsure exactly where to begin his search for answers. He decided to start at the Canon Creek Café, an establishment that looked as if it had been in the center of town since the dawn of time.

  The scents of frying bacon and eggs, biscuits and strong coffee greeted him as he walked in. The place was already busy, men in overalls sitting at the counter and several older couples in the red booths. Friendly voices rumbled, the sounds of people at ease with each other.

  Dominic scooted onto a stool at the counter and nodded to the waitress, a plump older woman. She returned the smile and handed him a worn menu, then poured him a cup of coffee.

  “What can I get for you, handsome?” she asked, her eyes twinkling with merriment as if life were one big joke.

  “Just the coffee is fine,” Dominic replied. “And maybe you’d answer a question or two for me.” He withdrew the wedding photograph from his breast pocket. “You know these people?”

  She took the picture from him, looked at it for a moment, then shook her head. “Never seen them before.”

  Dominic tucked the photo back in his pocket. He hadn’t expected this to be easy. “Have you lived in Canon Creek long?”

  “For five long, miserable years.” She flashed him a flirtatious grin. “Now you wouldn’t want to sweep me off my feet and take me away from all this, would you? It would just take me an hour or two to pack up my six kids and be ready to go.”

  Dominic grinned. “I’d have to get a bigger car.”

  She threw up her hands in mock despair. “Ah, it’s always one excuse or another with you men.” She gestured to his pocket. “So, who are they? Missing relatives? Long-lost friends?”

  Dominic shrugged. “A long story. You ever heard of a place called Dano’s Photography Studio?”

  She shook her head. “Afraid not. We want to get our pictures took around here, we go to the local discount store. About twice a year they have a photographer come in.”

  “This place would have been around eight years ago.”

  “‘Fraid I can’t help you, then.” She looked down the counter. “Hey, George.” An old man looked up from his plate. “You ever remember there being a place called Dano’s Photography Studio here in Canon Creek?”

  He frowned for a moment, shook his head, then resumed eating.

  “I don’t know.... You might try Betty Wardman over at the post office. She’s been around for a hundred years. Always seems to know everyone else’s business.”

  Bingo, Dominic thought.

  It was exactly the kind of information that usually proved vital. Every town had a busybody, and he hoped this Betty Wardman proved that most busybodies loved to talk about other people’s business. “Thanks, I’ll do that.”

  He drank two cups of coffee, left a generous tip, then headed to the post office, hoping Betty Wardman would live up to her reputation.

  Samantha lay on a blanket on the living-room floor next to Jamie. Melissa grinned as she listened to her sister talk gibberish to the baby, who stared at her as if she were a fascinating alien.

  Samantha had shown up as Dominic left for his trip to Canon Creek. Despite Melissa’s protests that she would be fine in the house alone while Dominic was gone, Samantha had insisted she would at least spend the morning with her.

  Samantha had court in the afternoon and although she’d offered to try to get out of it, Melissa had insisted that would be silly. After all, the house was equipped with a state-of-the-art alarm system and Melissa felt perfectly safe within the walls of her home.

  Samantha rolled over and sat up, a frown furrowing her brow. “I don’t
think your son is appreciating all my efforts to entertain him.”

  “He might not be appreciating them, but I am.”

  Samantha stuck her tongue out, then joined Melissa on the sofa. For a long moment the two sisters looked at each other.

  There had been a time when Melissa had thought she’d never be close to her sister again. When their father had died and Samantha had returned to town. eight months ago, there had been a lot of baggage between the two sisters—old resentments that their father had fostered throughout their teenage years, and Melissa’s anger that her sister had managed to escape their father’s tyrannical rule but had left her behind. There had been a hundred issues that had to be muddled through before they could reaffirm the intense bonds of sisterly love they felt for each other.

  Samantha smiled and shook her head. “You amaze me,” she said.

  Melissa looked at her in surprise. “Why?”

  “You’ve handled everything that’s happened remarkably well.” Samantha took Melissa’s hand in hers. “I could never be as strong as you’ve been. You’ve always been so much stronger than me.”

  Again, surprise winged through Melissa. “What are you talking about? You were the one who was strong enough to break away, courageous enough to build a life away from Father and Wilford.”

  Samantha shook her head. “I ran, Melissa. It doesn’t take strength or courage to run. But you...you stayed, worked out the problems with Father and built something special with your husband.”

  Emotion rose inside Melissa and she pulled her hand from Samantha’s and stood. What she wanted to tell Samantha was that she’d sold out, bargained her soul to Bill in order to escape their father. She’d sacrificed years of her life to a man who’d been cold and cruel because she’d been too afraid to make changes, afraid to be alone.

  But she couldn’t, wouldn’t tell Samantha, who would never understand the choices Melissa had made. She couldn’t expose herself to her sister’s ridicule, the scorn she so feared she would receive.

  She walked over to Jamie and picked him up, cradling him close to her as she fought to get her emotions under control. She turned back to her sister. “I’m not strong, Samantha, and there have been days in the past month when I wasn’t sure how I was going to go on. And then I remember him—my baby—and I know I have to go on. I have to fight the charges against me, I have to put the past behind and go on.”

  “Oh, Melissa, don’t you see? That is strength. Even when we were younger, I always admired the fact that you could move on. No matter what mean things Father said to you, you were able to take it, grow from it. You...”

  Melissa held up a hand to silence her sister. “Samantha, please. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  “I’m sorry,” Samantha immediately replied. “I don’t mean to open old wounds. I just want you to know how much I love you and how much I admire you.”

  Tears misted Melissa’s eyes. She nodded, then went into the kitchen to get Jamie a bottle. Melissa wished she could take comfort in Samantha’s loving words, but her regard for Melissa was built on lies. Just as Melissa’s entire marriage had been.

  As she waited for the bottle to warm, she moved to the kitchen window and stared out into the backyard. Her redbird was there, his bright scarlet feathers vivid against the green leaves of the branch where he sat. His mate ate from the feeder, daintily picking out the oiled sunflower seeds they loved.

  Melissa remembered the conversation she’d had with Dominic, about birds and second chances and love. Had she known then that she loved him? Not consciously. And she would have preferred her love for him to remain unrealized, unacknowledged to herself. It would have been so much less painful.

  Melissa retrieved the bottle and began to feed Jamie. She looked up as Samantha came in and sat down across from her at the table. “You know, the night you told me you were pregnant and you and Bill were getting back together, I thought you were the luckiest woman in the world,” Samantha said.

  Melissa looked down at the baby, remembering the fragile hope that had flowed through her at that time—the hope that things would be different with Bill, that finally she would find the happiness and love that had been so elusive for all her life.

  Now she’d found the kind of love she knew would make her happy—with Dominic. But even that was all wrong. Dominic had made it clear he had no intention of remaining in her life in any way. “So, when are you and Tyler going to give this little guy a cousin?” she asked, forcing a light tone to hide behind.

  Samantha grinned. “We’re working on it.” Her smile fell away and she looked at her watch. “I wonder when we’ll hear from Dominic.”

  “Hopefully as soon as he learns anything,” Melissa replied, wondering how it was that the mere sound of his name could cause her heart to quicken, her pain to deepen. She brushed Jamie’s forehead with her lips, her eyes filling as she thought of the sweetness of Dominic’s touch, the pleasure she’d found in his arms.

  “Missy? You okay?” Samantha asked softly.

  Melissa nodded and drew a deep breath. “Sometimes life really delivers a kick in the pants, doesn’t it?”

  Samantha touched her arm. “I know it doesn’t seem possible right now, but you will get through this. The charges against you will be dropped. Eventually the pain of Bill’s death will ebb and your heart will heal.”

  Melissa nodded. “Samantha, I’ve gone and done something incredibly foolish.” Melissa wouldn’t, couldn’t confess Bill’s sins, but she could confess her own. “I’ve somehow managed to fall in love with Dominic.”

  Samantha dropped her hand and stared at Melissa. “What are you talking about?”

  Melissa forced a small laugh. “I assumed my statement was pretty self-explanatory.”

  Samantha stood and ran a hand through her hair, her eyes radiating her bewilderment. She began to pace, her bewilderment turning to irritation. “I should have seen this coming,” she finally said.

  Melissa looked at her in surprise. “What do you mean?”

  Samantha stopped pacing and shrugged. “Dominic is an attractive man, and you’re particularly vulnerable now.” Her eyes flashed darkly. “If he took advantage of you...”

  “No, he didn’t. He wouldn’t.” Melissa’s cheeks flamed warm. There was no way she would share with her sister the fact that they had made love, had shared an intimacy like no other Melissa had ever experienced.

  “But what about Bill?” Samantha’s expression held confusion. “How could you just fall in love with Dominic so easily after being married to Bill for six years?” Samantha once again sat down across from Melissa.

  Melissa stared back down at Jamie, wondering what she could say to her sister, how to explain the circumstances with Bill without revealing her hateful, horrid secret. “You know Bill and I were having problems, that we’d separated right before you came back to Wilford.”

  Samantha nodded. “But when you found out you were pregnant, I thought you worked through whatever problems you had.”

  “Oh, Samantha. I wanted my marriage to work more than anything. I wanted to prove that Father was wrong about Bill, that I’d been smart to marry him. But a year into the marriage, I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.”

  “What do you mean?” Samantha stared at her intently, as if willing her to spill her secrets, probing into her soul to see what resided there.

  Melissa shifted Jamie to her shoulder and rubbed his back while her mind worked to answer Samantha as clearly as possible without giving away the final piece of the puzzle. “At first, things were wonderful. But as time went by Bill started acting just like Father, always telling me how stupid I was, belittling everything I did, making me feel inadequate and ugly.” She averted her gaze from Samantha, unable to look at her, and gave Jamison his bottle once again.

  “Oh, Missy.” Samantha grabbed her forearm and squeezed tightly. “Why did you stay with him?”

  “I don’t know.” Melissa had asked herself that same
question millions of times. Why had she stayed? “It felt normal...became comfortable.” She forced a smile and shook her head ruefully. “I know it sounds crazy, but I knew what to expect from Bill and the thought of leaving him and trying to survive on my own terrified me.”

  “But you did finally leave him,” Samantha said.

  Melissa nodded. “Yeah, I realized I couldn’t stay in the marriage just to prove something to Father. Then I discovered I was pregnant, and Bill made so many promises that, fool that I was, I believed him. He seemed so happy about the baby, I thought everything would change, but it didn’t.” She smiled down at her son. “I was going to leave Bill when I had Jamison. When I went to the hospital to give birth, I’d never intended to go back home with Bill. I was never going to give him the chance to treat the baby the way he treated me.”

  “Oh, Melissa, why didn’t you ever tell me this before? Maybe I could have stopped you from going back to him when you found out you were pregnant.”

  Melissa smiled. God, she loved her sister. “Honey, as I recall, in those first few weeks of your return to Wilford, your life was pretty much a mess. You threw yourself into defending Dominic, you were trying to force Tyler out of the law firm, and you had a burning anger for Father that had you half blind to everything else.”

  Samantha laughed. “Yeah, funny how things work out. The case was dropped against Dominic, I married Tyler and forgave Father for being less than what I needed while I was growing up.”

  “And now it’s my turn to get my life together. I’ve got a murder charge against me to beat, a son to raise and some time to heal.”

  “We’re going to be all right, aren’t we?” Samantha smiled, then looked at her watch. “And I’ve got to get out of here.” She stood reluctantly. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay here all alone?”

  “Fine. I’ve got the security system and nobody knows Dominic isn’t here. Trust me, if I was worried, I’d make you take me someplace else.” She stood and walked with Samantha to the front door.