Worthless

by Lynne Silver

  “Under twenty people,” Cat had promised. This was the first official engagement celebration, and he was feeling the pressure to act in his father’s stead. For tonight, he’d gone to a discount big chain store and bought a pair of dress pants and a button-down shirt. They were the first clothes other than T-shirts he’d purchased in a very long time.

  As he’d paid in cash at the register, he’d remembered being a teenager with his dad at a men’s clothing store. His mom had sent the “two boys” off to buy Danny his first suit. He’d been invited to a bar mitzvah for a kid at his new middle school and needed fancy clothes. His dad had taken them to the same store he bought his suits and watched with pride as a gangly thirteen-year-old Danny had emerged from the dressing room in his first navy suit.

  His dad had snapped a photo, and then when the clerk had come over to knot his tie, his dad had stepped in. “My job,” he’d said, then proceeded to show Danny how to knot a perfect half-Windsor. Danny had discovered he was crying at the memory while standing at the register of the discount store.

  Now, looking at his dressed-up reflection in the mirror, the emotion came again. He was dressing up for his sister’s engagement party, and their parents wouldn’t be there. Mom wouldn’t be in the kitchen snapping orders to the caterers and Dad wouldn’t be greeting everyone at the front door with his easy smile and a glass of red wine.

  “Get it together, Ross,” he muttered, giving his tie a last tug, then heading to the living room to wait for his ride. Ian’s parents lived nearby and were driving him to the dinner. He’d protested the arrangement, saying Amy could drive him, but no, she was going with Mitch. Asshole.

  Here he was catching a ride with parents like he was some dumb kid. How the hell was he going to show Amy he was an adult you could count on when he couldn’t even legally drive a fucking car?

  Amy gave Mitch another anxious smile in the elevator on the way up to Cat and Ian’s apartment.

  “Why do you look nervous?” he asked. “Scared I’ll embarrass you?” He grinned, confident in his ability to navigate attending his new girlfriend’s best friend’s engagement dinner. She had to admire his confidence. It was no easy task to enter an intimate dinner party with no allies on your side. Would he be quite as confident if he knew the man she’d last had sex with would also be in attendance? Doubtful, because Danny’d had what Mitch had yet to taste.

  She’d held off on sleeping with Mitch, a task made easy by his travel schedule. He simply hadn’t been sleeping in Miami, thereby giving Amy an easy out. Not that she wanted one, she decided. They’d been together under two months, and while he traveled, they had great conversations and exchanged funny texts.

  He’d started a game with her on his multi-city tour of the U.S. At each place he visited, he took a photo and she had to guess where he was. As she’d told him, it was like her favorite childhood game, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? She’d found herself getting excited every time her phone buzzed with a text from him.

  She’d decided that she was going home with him tonight after Cat and Ian’s engagement dinner. How would she ever know if she and Mitch ever had zing in bed if she never gave him a chance? They certainly had phone zing. “I’m not nervous,” she said, and adjusted his collar—a very wifely thing to do. “I’m happy you’re back in town.”

  “Me, too.” He gave her a look that said he knew he was getting her in his bed tonight.

  Her stomach got a little jumpy. Nerves, she thought, or claustrophobia from the elevator. Luckily they arrived at Ian and Cat’s place and the doors opened.

  The door to the apartment was open, and laughter and the clink of wine glasses spilled out into the hallway. Amy led Mitch down to their apartment where they were greeted by Joy and Michael, Ian’s parents. His younger brother, Kyle, had his back to them and was pouring himself a drink at the bar set out at one wall of the living room.

  Remembering Cat’s story about finding the older couple in the pool, she found herself holding back giggles as she hugged them in greeting. “Where’s Cat?” she asked, and turned to Mitch who was holding the large engagement present she’d brought with them.

  “In the kitchen,” came a deep, familiar voice from the couch. Danny.

  She looked in his direction and concentrated on remaining steady on her feet as he rose and made his way over to them. He had a glass of ice water in his hand and wore dress pants and a button-down shirt. The last time she’d seen him this fancy, he’d been running for student body president. Her girly parts gave a pleasurable little shiver at the sight of him all grown up and looking fine.

  Avoiding him for nearly the last month had done nothing to quell the desire she felt when she saw him. It wasn’t sexual desire, though that was up front and waving its hand in an Ooh, ooh, Mr. Kotter kind of way. It was more that her heart felt full of a bursting sort of emotion when she looked at him. She’d missed him these past weeks. Missed hearing his rare laughs and being the cause. Missed sharing a silent coffee in the morning when they were too tired to do more than occupy the same room.

  “Daniel Ross.” He held out his hand for Mitch to shake.

  “Mitch Blumberg. Nice to meet you.” Mitch shook his hand enthusiastically, oblivious to any undercurrents in the room. Amy realized she’d been holding her breath.

  Danny bent to kiss her on the cheek, as if she were a casual acquaintance, and those same lips hadn’t been between her thighs a few weeks ago. She squeezed his wrist as he got close, trying to convey a message. What? She didn’t know. Maybe to tell him she was sorry she’d been ignoring him.

  “How do you two know each other?” Mitch asked, making normal, friendly party conversation.

  “We…”

  “He’s my roommate,” she blurted before he could reveal anything to Mitch. Danny’s hand was on the small of her back, and moving lower. He’d taken her wrist squeeze as encouragement. She thought about stepping to the side, but his hands on her felt too good, and she’d missed him too much.

  Mitch gave her a surprised look. “I didn’t know you had a male roommate.”

  “I never mentioned it?”

  “Does it matter?” Danny asked in a deceptively mild tone.

  “Let’s find Cat and Ian and give them their present,” Amy said, before Mitch could answer. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear his opinion on men and women living together. She physically dragged Mitch toward the kitchen where she hoped they’d find Cat and Ian. Unfortunately, Danny decided to follow.

  Things had been tense between them, which Amy had compounded by avoiding him. She’d been working late or meeting friends for dinner, all in an effort to get home late enough that she wouldn’t have to eat dinner with Danny. Her heart had nearly broken when, one morning, she’d seen the remnants of a homemade pasta dinner that had clearly been made for her and left to chill in the fridge when she hadn’t come home in time to eat it with the chef.

  She wasn’t being fair to him, and needed to put her big girl panties on and have an honest conversation with him to see if they could try to be friends.

  Amy, Mitch, and Danny entered the kitchen to see Cat practically hovering off the ground with nerves as she watched two caterers bustling about the kitchen. Ian stood next to her trying to calm her.

  “Cat,” Amy said, and took the present from Mitch’s hands. “Let’s go to the living room and you can open this.” Ian shot her a grateful look.

  Cat gave a last look around the kitchen where the two professionals obviously had things well in hand. “Okay,” she said, slowly. Amy plunked the large gift box into her hands and guided her out the door.

  “I don’t know why I’m nervous,” Cat babbled.

  “You’ve never done this before,” Amy said. “Totally normal to be worried, but everything smelled delicious in there. Now come be a guest at your own party.” She’d been exaggerating actually. The pungent smells of cooking food in the kitchen had nearly overwhelmed her, and she wanted out of the kitchen for as much her sake as Ca
t’s.

  The bride-to-be took a deep breath. “You’re right.” She turned to Mitch and smiled, then leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. Amy could almost feel the annoyance vibrating off Danny, who was beside her.

  “Let’s open the present, gata,” Ian said, gently hustling people toward the living room couch which was the center point of the party.

  Cat grinned then frowned. “I don’t know… Not everyone’s here yet. It seems rude.”

  But at that moment, the doorbell rang, and then the apartment door opened. Olivia, Ian’s business partner, Drew, and his date, and Lisa and her fiancé entered.

  “We all rode up in the elevator together,” Lisa announced, rushing toward them and gathering Cat for an exuberant hug, the present squished between them. Amy was next on her hug list. Lisa was one of Cat’s friends through work, and was a force of nature. She’d calmed down a little since meeting her fiancé, who was a running back for the Dolphins.

  Next to Amy, Mitch grinned hugely and practically dove to shake Lisa’s fiancé’s hand. “Andre. Mitch Blumberg, I work for the Dolphin’s organization, too.”

  Andre immediately recognized Mitch was not a professional athlete, but one of the many backend people responsible for signing his extremely large paycheck. “Nice to meet you. Will I see you at the Super Bowl party tomorrow?”

  Mitch flushed. “Ah, no. Got other plans.” He glanced at Amy as if they had special Super Bowl watching plans when she had barely registered the big game was tomorrow. “We should’ve been in Minnesota this year, huh?” He and Andre launched into a deep discussion of why the Dolphins hadn’t made it to the post-season, and Amy turned away to greet Olivia.

  “What am I doing here?” Olivia whispered in her ear as they hugged. “This is a family party, and I don’t know them at all.” She pulled back and gave a meaningful glance in Cat’s direction. “I didn’t even know to bring a gift.”

  “It’s fine,” Amy reassured her. She complimented Olivia’s necklace, which she recognized as having come from her store, but then Cat came over, and with a beaming smile, introduced Olivia to Danny. So much for being subtle. Cat couldn’t have been clearer that Olivia had been invited as a potential date for Danny, than if she’d given her a sign for her forehead that said, “This is a set-up.”

  As for Danny, Amy tried to feign indifference as she watched Danny and Olivia shake hands, then follow Cat’s orders to go sit on the couch, but she wanted to push Olivia away from Danny. Cat and Ian started gathering everyone to sit on the couch. In her angry haze of jealousy, Amy didn’t move fast enough and was left without a spot.

  Mitch, still engaged in chatting up Andre, didn’t notice. Danny rose and gestured that she should take his spot. She shook her head. Her ass wouldn’t fit squeezed between Olivia and Drew’s so-skinny-Amy-wanted-to-give-her-a-milkshake date. Danny gave an eye roll then stalked past her to drag two of the dining room chairs over, and placed one for her, then dropped onto the other one.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he whispered, as Ian started to give a short welcome speech.

  She didn’t respond and kept her gaze trained on Ian, showing Danny that she wouldn’t be goaded into rudeness by whispering while their hosts talked.

  “You don’t want your boyfriend to see you next to the skinnier woman on the couch.”

  She frowned at him. “Not true.” Maybe a little true. Gaze back to Ian.

  “He’s not right for you, Amy.”

  “And you know this from one minute of conversation?” she whispered back, intercepting a tiny frown from Ian’s mother, Joy, who glanced back at them and held her index finger to her lips. She felt her cheeks heat at being reprimanded like she was in elementary school. Danny also caught Joy’s look and closed his mouth for the rest of what Ian and Cat had to say. She couldn’t concentrate on Ian’s toast since Danny’s nearness was making her brain fuzzy. She was sure it was a great toast, because Ian was the kind of guy to give a funny, snarky, yet loving speech about Cat. Hopefully, Cat’s head was in a place to absorb every word.

  “Now let’s eat,” Ian finally finished, words Amy did hear, and waved them all to the table, which was the signal for the kitchen doors to open and the catering team to come out carrying heaping platters of food.

  Since Amy and Danny were behind the couch and closest to the large table set with gorgeous rented crystal and china, and large, low centerpieces of tropical flowers, they got first dibs on seats. The table had been made by putting together a few huge folding tables, and Ian’s parents took one end, with Ian and Cat taking the other end.

  Amy ended up with Mitch on her left and Danny on her right. Cat manipulated the seating so Olivia ended up on Danny’s right.

  One of the servers walked around placing a shrimp cocktail in a martini glass in front of each person. The other poured champagne for all the guests. Bottles of red and white wine dotted the table.

  Amy reached for a cold, crisp piece of shrimp and dipped it liberally in to the gourmet take on cocktail sauce. Next to her, Mitch was talking to Ian’s dad about real estate and properties in Miami and their prediction for the next hot neighborhood.

  Though she tried not to let it bother her, she heard Danny and Olivia animatedly arguing about the latest episode of a TV show that everyone was addicted to, but she had yet to watch. Instead of chatting, she inhaled the five pieces of shrimp, then reached for the red wine bottle, her arm brushing against Danny’s side. He wasn’t drinking. No, a recovering addict wouldn’t.

  She drew her arm back without the wine bottle. If she was really planning on spending the night with Mitch, it was better to be stone-cold sober than slightly tipsy. Anyone could be seen as a good lover if your vision was blurry enough. She wanted twenty-twenty tonight.

  “Not drinking?” Danny’s voice was a deep rumbling tickle against her ear. He’d turned away from Olivia and was giving her his full attention.

  “No,” she said, and turned slightly toward him, giving Mitch her back.

  “Because of me?”

  She frowned slightly, and the shrimp gurgled precipitously as they sped into her suddenly churning belly. “No.”

  At that moment, the server reached between them, removing the shrimp martini glasses and replacing them with a tiny plate of a seared ahi tuna with a little ponzu sauce. Amy used the appearance of new food to take her attention off Danny and focused on eating while the conversation swirled around them.

  The tuna plates were removed quickly as they were only a bite, and the main course of a tiny roasted bird of some kind in a bed of a grain—quinoa, Amy thought—and roasted beets and sweet potato. Everyone fell silent as they dug into the food.

  “Cat, everything is amazing,” she said, her first real contribution to the discussion, interrupting the quiet sounds of chewing.

  Cat beamed. “You think so?”

  Ian kissed her on the cheek. “Yeah, gata. Hell of a job.”

  Drew lifted his glass and everyone followed suit. “To Cat for a hell of a dinner.”

  “To Cat,” everyone echoed.

  Cat’s cheeks were pink as she accepted the praise. “We still haven’t had dessert, and that’s the best part.”

  “What is it?” Lisa asked.

  “I’m not telling,” Cat said. “I want it to be a surprise.”

  After that, everyone hurried through the rest of the dinner and it wasn’t long before the caterers had cleared the dinner plates and were rolling in a cart with small metal pots holding blue and orange flames. Beside the fire were platters of marshmallows, chocolate bars and homemade cookies.

  “Smore’s,” Amy exclaimed when she’d figured it out.

  Lisa’s fiancé, Andre, cheered as if he were around an actual campfire.

  The platters were set out and Amy got busy concentrating on roasting her marshmallow to perfection, not too charred, but perfectly golden brown.

  “You look pretty tonight,” Danny said quietly in her ear, completely catching her off guard and distract
ing her. “Then again, you look pretty every night.” Her hand jerked, forcing her marshmallow directly into the flame where it caught on fire, and she quickly pulled it back to blow it out. Then she turned to question why Danny was generously handing her compliments, but Drew’s sharp voice caught everyone’s attention.

  “You think health care should be free for all, including illegal immigrants?” Drew practically shouted across the table at Olivia, who stiffened, and got a look on her face that Amy recognized.

  Uh oh.

  “Yes,” Olivia responded, quietly and confidently, holding a cookie halfway to her mouth.

  “That’s insane,” Drew erupted.

  Cat shot Amy a wide-eyed help look, which Amy understood. Shouting about politics at a small dinner party was a surefire path to disaster. But what could she do?

  Next to her, Mitch interjected his opinion on the health care matter, which ran along the same lines as Drew’s opinion, although he expressed himself in a more polite manner. Amy hadn’t given much thought to health care one way or the other, except she remembered the medical bills her mother’s cancer had accrued, and the hard choices they’d faced about treatment options and facilities based on their costs.

  “Other countries do it,” Danny said quietly, but authoritatively. “Many European countries have universal healthcare for all citizens. Why not the U.S.?”

  Her head spun from looking at Mitch, to watching reactions to Danny’s statement. She wondered if he even believed in government funded health care, or if he were taking the counter side of the debate, to even things out. She hadn’t known him well in high school, but she’d seen him around enough to remember him able to debate both sides of an issue with conviction, and you’d never know on which side he stood.

  Danny turned to her. “What do you think, Amy? You’re a small business owner. You’d be greatly impacted.”

  Her heart pounded as all eyes turned in her direction, and she opened her mouth to say… what, she didn’t know, because at that moment, the shrimp cocktail, along with the rest of the dinner, she’d inhaled was about to make an ugly reentrance in the middle of Cat and Ian’s gorgeous party.