First Times: Nine Tales of Innocence Lost

by Natalie Deschain

  I felt… womanly.

  When I sat down in the seat, heat was pooling between my legs.

  “See you tomorrow,” he said.

  I pulled the door shut and sat there, watching my hands tremble as I squeezed the steering wheel. I don’t remember driving home, or walking into the house. I do, but they’re just a blur. I ended up in the shower, standing under the hot water, staring at the wall.

  Every time I blinked the image of him sliding out of the pool filled my mind, bringing with it a heady dizziness and a dull throb in my sex.

  I leaned back on the wall and slid my hands down between my legs. The wetness there was not from the shower. My legs squeezed my hands and I bit my lip. I sank down to sit in the tub and let the water flow over me and there, curled up in a ball, I started playing with myself. I remembered seeing him in those shorts, with what I was sure was a hardon.

  I imagined it was for me. I imagined it was his hand, not mine, sliding up my stomach to tease along the outer curve of my breast and I imagined his warm lips on my neck, kissing over my shoulder as his finger slipped inside me and his palm ground against my clit.

  Minutes later, I was a quivering mess, whimpering and sighing as I dragged myself to a frantic, hazy orgasm that made my head thump against the wall as my back arched. Or so I thought. It was someone’s fist on the bathroom door.

  “Kelly?” my father called. “You’ve been in there half an hour.”

  I reached over and shut off the water.

  “I’m fine,” I yelped.

  I woke up an hour early the next day. Normally I wouldn’t bother doing much before I went to work. After all, I’d be sweating all day and diving into a pool, maybe. Today I didn’t pull my hair back. I left it down, and brushed it out until it shone, letting my loose curls hang all around my shoulders. I touched some gloss on my lips and put on just a little eye shadow. Not enough to be obvious.

  I wasn’t sure why I was doing it, but then again I knew exactly why.

  I slipped off my flip flops in the car and left them there, and did a wincing walk across the parking lot to the back gate. Jim’s car was already there, tucked in the corner. I pushed through the back gate and locked it behind me. Today I knew I’d be starting on the gate. It was my turn. At least there was shade.

  It was a hot one. Jim was swimming. I sat down at the table by the gate and watched him breach the surface and dive back under. He was a good swimmer, fast and agile. When he finally emerged and climbed out, the water pulled his trunks down just enough to expose a sliver of pale, untanned skin above his waistline. As he stood up I saw the way the muscles of his ass bunched.

  I’d skipped the shorts today. I was just in my bathing suit. It wasn’t the most revealing thing in the world, but I had my legs stretched out under the table. He looked over and waved, and I saw a cryptic look on his face as he saw my legs jutting out from under the table, my heels resting on the concrete.

  “Careful you don’t trip somebody,” he said, his mouth twisting a little at the corners, in amusement.

  “It’s about that time,” he called out, as he started climbing his chair.

  I got up, unlocked the gate, sat down, yawned. The first kid didn’t show up for half an hour. I had a book, pretended to read, but I was mostly looking at him. The water on his skin made him glow. Again, a kid startled me.

  The morning rush started, when the moms were dropping off their kids into our charge. I was distracted almost until it was time to switch. I caught his attention and motioned, and he started climbing down.

  We passed by each other as I walked to the lifeguard station. He was looking at me, I could feel it. He turned to smile at me as I passed him and I didn’t look back, but he looked at my ass, I knew it. My bathing suit was tight there, and the sides had ridden up, exposing pale skin. I plucked at it, making myself a little more decent as I climbed up.

  I saw him look away, over at the table, when I turned to sit. He was watching. I knew it, because he was trying to hide it.

  Fidgeting, I made myself pay attention to the goings on in the pool, but he was always in the corner of my eye, dragging my gaze away from my charges. I was relieved by the time it was time to change places and head back under the shade. I curled my finger in my hair as I walked past him, and flashed him a smile. He smiled back, but he looked past me, away from me.

  My chest clenched a little. There was something wrong with that. Sullenly, I sat behind the table and leaned on my hand, sighing.

  It happened on the Fourth of July. I got to work a weekend, since all the lifeguards were called in for the big party. It was blistering hot, so bad I had to wear my flip flops even around the pool, where the concrete was usually bearable, if not cool. I spent part of the party in the lifeguard stand, part of it at the front gate, taking IDs.

  The pool complex wasn’t huge, just the one pool with a fence around it, the bathhouse, and the little parking lot behind. Part of the cramped space was taken up by the hastily erected concession stand. Jim was working it, selling hot dogs and sodas from a cooler. He motioned me over.

  “I could use some help here,” he said.

  I talked one of the other girls into taking over for me, and started helping. The stand was just a tent and some extra plastic tables from the storage shed, and a grill someone loaned us. Jim worked the food, sweating profusely even in the shade. I stared at his back as he worked, watching the muscles flow and flex under his skin.

  I had to put my hair up. He watched as I lifted my arms up over my head to pull my hair into a scrunchi before I went back to hanging out sodas and working the cash box. We were going to run out soon, I realized.

  “Hey,” he said, “This is the last round of hot dogs. We’re going to need more.”

  When the last of them were served, he breathed hard and swiped the sweat off his face with a towel.

  “Hot under here,” I said.

  “Yeah. Steal a soda for me, will you? Take one for yourself, too.”

  I tossed him a cold can and he caught it against his chest, cracked it open, and drained it in three big gulps. I drank more slowly, trying to convince myself that the slickness I felt between my legs was sweat.

  Jim left me to sell the last few sodas, came back a little bit later.

  “Hey,” he said. “I’ve got to run. Andy wants me to grab some more hot dogs.”

  “Can I come?”

  The words were out of my mouth before I realized what I’d said.

  Startled, he blinked a few times. “Sure, why not?”

  “I just want to get in the air conditioning for a while,” I added, quickly.

  Stupid girl. He’s not interested in you. It’s just your imagination.

  He shrugged. I followed him through the back gate to his car, slipped inside. He had towels on the front seats, and that was a good idea. I was absolutely drenched in sweat. It was hotter in the car until the air got going, and then I was freezing, shivering. I had my shorts and my bathing suit on. He was just in trunks, with a pair of sandals on the floor of the car and a wifebeater balled up on the center console.

  I sat back and let myself adjust to the cold. He swiped at his face with his shirt, and wriggled into it. I watched every movement carefully, licking my lips. When he saw he shot me a startled look and threw the car in gear, shifting to sit very upright in his seat.

  Down, my eyes went. I wasn’t imagining it, or just seeing what I wanted to see. I could see the hard outline of his rigid cock straining at his shorts, pushed down one pant leg. God, he was big. I wriggled in the seat and put my seatbelt on, letting the strap press between my breasts, outlining their shape. My nipples were tight points, chafed by the fabric. Sweat trickled down my chest and between my shoulder blades.

  “So,’ he said. “The wholesale place is right around the corner, here.”

  I put my hand on his leg.

  He started, jerked the wheel. The car swerved a little. He pulled off the road as I pressed my palm down the shaft of his coc
k, stroking it from outside his shorts. His arm slid around me and he half pulled me over his lap and crushed his mouth to mine, so hard I was afraid it would bruise, but only a second. His tongue slid over my lips and I opened for him, reaching back with my own as the kiss deepened and my stomach tightened into a warm twist of excitement. I started to shift myself over the center console, trying to get on his lap. His hand slid down under my shorts and he cupped me from beneath, pressing his palm against the wetness and heat. Just the pressure made me bark a little cry of pleasure as my body jerked.

  Then he pulled back, almost shoved me into the seat.

  “What? What did I-”

  “I can’t do this,” he said, pulling back out onto the road. “You’re still a little girl.”

  “No I’’m not!” I shrieked, balling my hands into fists. “I’m eighteen years old. I’m a college student. I’m an adult.”

  My chest turned to ice. I couldn’t breath. A little sob choked out of my throat and I shrank against the door, hugging the seat belt. My tears burned. I was crying.

  “Wait here,” he said, flatly, and left the car running.

  He came back, tossed some frozen hot dogs and buns in the back of the car, got in. We rode back in silence. By the time we got back to the pool, I had stopped crying. When I got out I said to him,

  “I’m not a little girl.”

  I didn’t help him carry the stuff back, or talk to him for the rest of the day. Instead I blew off my duties and got in the pool myself, and splashed around to hide the wetness on my cheeks.

  After that, things were tense. I showed up on time, and so did he, no more morning swims. We talked only to exchange pleasantries and discuss our duties. I tried with all my might to just ignore him, but I couldn’t stop looking.

  I don’t think he could, either.

  The pool was open for another week, but it was my last day. My things were packed, and tomorrow we would load up the cars, my parents’ and mine, and I would go to live in the dorm. It was a Thursday, and the place was dead, and unbearably hot. I sat for most of the day at the plastic table, in the shade. Jim watched the empty pool, leaning on his knees up on the lifeguard stand.

  When the day was finally over and I locked the front gate, he was waiting for me.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, very quietly.

  I stared at him. “For what?”

  “Before. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just…”

  “Just what?”

  He bit his lip, and my heart melted. If he asked for my forgiveness right then, I would have given in it. Instead he walked off, to change. I headed in the locker room to collect my things. Summer was over. I had to put this all out of my mind and get on with my life.

  I heard the creak of the door swinging and turned. There he was.

  We were both barefoot. He towered over me, and he was between me and the door. My stomach fluttered. The look in his eyes was… complex. I stood still, and he moved closer, and closer, taking small steps towards me. HIs hand fell on my shoulder and squeezed, and he pulled the strap of my bathing suit to the side, baring the strip of white where it had formed a tan line over the summer.

  I sucked in a sharp breath and looked into his eyes. He hooked his fingers through both straps and yanked me towards him. I fell against his body and his hands surged over my form, pressing and squeezing.

  He almost picked me up off the floor, gripping my ass in both hands, turned me around, and spun me into the lockers. He pressed against me, grinding his hardon between my legs. I felt the heat of it against my throbbing pussy as his hands moved up my sides and his tongue pressed into my mouth, sliding hot and wet over my lip.

  I just melted. I was his. I moaned into his mouth and he kissed me harder, sliding one hand behind my head to knot his fingers in my hair. His tight hard stomach clenched in involuntary pushes, pressing his erection into me through his shorts.

  My hands snaked down his sides and shoved his trunks down. He wasn’t wearing anything under them. I spread my hands wide and cupped his ass, feeling the muscle flex, and a jolt of pure need ran through my body, shooting up from between my legs.

  Oh. My. God.

  He didn’t stop. His fingers pushed inside my bathing suit and slid over my wet folds and he gasped, and started sucking and nibbling my throat as I undulated against him. I shoved his shorts away and grabbed his cock in my hand, squeezing so hard he jerked away for an instant before thrusting through my grip. He was huge.

  He lifted up enough for me to look into his eyes, and scrubbed his other hand over my head, running his fingers through my sweat-sticky hair before kissing me again. I pressed his cock against his belly and ran my hand up and down the underside. He pulled my hand away by the wrist, pressed both hands into the lockers behind me, and humped his cock against my stomach. Feeling the pressure of it against me made me shake with excitement and anticipation.

  “I want to fuck you,” he growled into my ear. “I wanted you since the first day when I saw your tight ass while you climbed up that ladder.”

  “I want you,” I whimpered, shaking. “Please, this is our last chance.”

  He took the straps of my bathing suit and pulled, dragging it down my body. The tight fabric strained over my chest and then slid down as he peeled me. He pressed against me, and the light coating of coarse hair on his chest itched my nipples as he slid the bathing suit and my shorts down and it all landed on the floor with a wet plop and we were both naked as the day we were born.

  He tilted my head to the side and kissed my throat, then along my shoulder, and down my arm, lifting it until he took my finger in his mouth and sucked lightly while staring into his eyes. I ran my hand up and down the underside of his cock.

  I started to sink down, but he pushed my bare back against the cold, faded blue steel and looked in my eyes.

  “I’m going to eat your cunt.”

  My legs buckled from the tone of his voice as he pressed his lips to the tender skin between my breasts, matching his downward movement with a tickling brush of his fingers down my ribs that made me giggle. He dipped down and I thought he was going to drop between my legs before he suddenly rose up, took my nipple in his mouth and sucked so hard it pinched and I yelped. Laughing, he pushed me against the wall and held my hips and traced a hot wet line from my belly button down, with his tongue.

  “Oh, please, please,” I begged, scrunching my fingers in his hair.

  I’d never even imagined something like this. I felt so silly now, so innocent as his lips touched my sex, his tongue just hinting at my folds while his hot breath spread over my wet pussy. I leaned my head against the lockers, closed my eyes, and moaned. My legs shook as his touch grew more intense, hot trails moving over my skin as his tongue teased and moved. He pulled away and kissed my thigh, and I almost screamed at the tease.

  I was just opening my mouth to beg when he licked me so hard it hurt, a jolt flowing up from my most sensitive places. His tongue circled my clit, then slid down and pressed at my entrance, then back up again. My legs were shaking already and he started to deeply kiss my pussy, using his lips, his tongue, his breath expertly, wringing pleasure from my already tortured, tight body.

  He stood up, then started pulling me down. He sat right on the concrete and leaned back against the bench behind him, the old wooden one fixed to the floor. He was pulling me into his lap. I sat on his legs and slid against him, pinning his cock between us, and kissed him. His hands moved everywhere. Up my back, my sides, toying with my breasts, lifting and squeezing. His finger slid down my back, right down my spine, and nested between my ass cheeks. I yelped and wriggled a little as he teased my asshole with the pad of his finger, and moaned, grinding against him and sliding his cock against my belly.

  “Get on,” he said, rolling his hips.

  A sudden twinge of fear burst through me, and I bit my lip. He must have seen it in my eyes.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’v
e never done it before,” I said, trying not to let my voice squeak. “I’m a v-virgin.”

  He blinked.

  “Jesus Christ, what am I doing. We don’t even have protection.”

  He started to push me off.

  I bit my lip, shifted, and pulled his cock under me as I rose up. When the head touched my hot sex he froze, a look of slack excitement coming over his face. I leaned into him and lowered myself down, hitching up and wincing as his thick rod spread me open, sliding into my tight channel. Nothing larger than my finger had ever entered me before, and it hurt, it stung and burned and I let out a little noise that was more pained whimper than pleasured sigh, and he squeezed me tight, slowing me.

  “Go slow,” he whispered, in a voice that said he wanted to go fast.

  Oh my God he was inside me. It was more than cocks and pussies now, we were together in a way I never understood. I could feel his heart beating, like he was an extension of my own body. It still hurt, and my eyes teared up. A single tear slid down my cheek but he brushed it away with his thumb as he guided me down to settle in his lap, resting my weight there. I have never felt so close to anyone, ever, as I did to him now, with this throbbing, stretching melding of our bodies filling my belly.

  “Does it hurt?”

  “No,” I lied.

  I started to roll my hips. It still hurt but it was so good I just didn’t care. He pulled me to him and held me tight, sharing my breath as he gazed into my eyes and listened to my soft moans. I shifted my legs so my knees were on the floor and rose up a little, moving my hips in little thrusts that he flexed to meet, rolling his cock inside me in a steady rhythm.

  Already flooded with excitement, I began to build. His body tightened and his embrace became even harder, crushing. My body moved in tight, involuntary jerks. He was pressing up into me from underneath, grunting and gasping.