Undeniable Rush

by S. C. Stephens

  Dex smiled. “Well, it’s a good thing he’s coming to Daytona then.”

  My eyes widened at hearing that. “Did you invite him knowing I’d say yes?”

  His expression grew amused. “While I love the fact that you think I know you that well already…no, I invited him for me. So he could see what I do, and maybe see why I love it.”

  He frowned, and I tilted my head at him. “He doesn’t approve of what you do for a living?”

  Dex picked at a napkin on his tray. “It’s not that he doesn’t approve, he just wants me to do what he does. Help him, instead of…myself. But the suit life…that’s not me, never has been.”

  He gave me a charming smile, and I found myself returning it. Then I felt someone poking me in the ribs. I looked over to see that Hayden had removed his headphones and was staring at me. “Everything all right?” he asked, indicating Dex.

  I nodded, then told him, “Dex’s dad is going to be at Daytona. We’re going to meet him.”

  Hayden frowned at Dex, then leaned in close. “Are you sure, Kenzie? If we do well at Daytona, someone will approach us, wanting to sponsor us. Money speaks louder than politics.”

  I’d considered that, I truly had, but what if it didn’t happen? How long could we go on without a major player backing us? “It’s just a meeting,” I told him. “I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

  With a sigh, he nodded. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but maybe we should talk to Jordan? See how he feels about this idea?”

  Chewing on my lip, I pondered that. But while I occasionally went to Dad with questions or concerns, I typically avoided it. I wanted to do this on my own, succeed on my own, without Jordan Cox being able to take any amount of credit for it. I might still have a chip on my shoulder when it came to my dad. He’d hurt me so badly…it was a wound that was proving to be slow to heal. And besides, I was pretty sure I knew what he would say—don’t do it. Dad could be a little old-school when it came to sponsors.

  Not knowing how to explain any of that without sounding petty, I told Hayden, “Maybe.”

  * * *

  Saturday morning, I woke up feeling more alive than I’d felt in a long time. It was race day! God, I loved Daytona. I couldn’t believe I was here. It was almost like it was my first race again, like somehow, I was a rookie again—a virgin. Every breath I took was full of eagerness and anticipation. My entire body vibrated with energy, and suddenly every stress the business part had caused me seemed completely worth it. Today was going to be amazing.

  Hayden and I went to the garage early, since I had more to do at an event than I ever had before. I was ready though. As was typical, my father beat me there. The first thing he said to me was, “I hope you didn’t go out last night. I’ve seen your times…when you’ve actually made it onto the track. You were much stronger before you took over the business. You need to be as well-rested as possible, and hopefully that will make enough of a difference.”

  My smile was tight as I stared at him. Nope. Definitely not asking his opinion about doing business with Dex’s father. “You’ll be happy to know Hayden and I were in bed by nine o’clock.” I knew Dad wouldn’t be happy to hear about Hayden and I sharing a mattress…which was exactly why I’d said it.

  His lips twisted into a brief, awkward smile, then he excused himself to talk to John. Hayden lifted an eyebrow at me, and I laughed in response. Making my dad uncomfortable seemed to be my new favorite pastime.

  The rest of the guys filtered in much earlier than usual. Everyone was pumped about today. Even Myles was somewhat smiling. I almost asked him how he was doing, but if he’d found some semblance of peace, I didn’t want to disrupt that right before the race. I’d talk to him afterward.

  Dex was the last team member to arrive. He looked really green, like he might throw up…or he already had. “How are you doing?” I asked, rubbing his arm.

  His color seemed to come back as he glanced at my hand. I immediately dropped it to my side. Soft smile on his face, he nodded at me. “I’m fine, I’ll be fine. It’s fine, everything’s fine.”

  I couldn’t stop the smirk. “Usually when someone says ‘fine’ that many times, they’re anything but fine.”

  “Got me.” He inhaled a deep breath. “I’m sort of terrified.”

  Shrugging, I told him, “If you mess up today, all that means is that we didn’t train you well enough. Whatever happens today is a reflection on us, not you.”

  His entire posture relaxed as he absorbed my words. “Thank you. That actually makes me feel better.”

  “You’re welcome. So…when is your dad dropping by?”

  “Anytime actually. He said he wanted to wish me luck.” He laughed after he said it, then stared at me with adoring eyes.

  Feeling uncomfortable, I backed up a step. “Well, come find me when he gets here, okay?”

  Dex nodded, and I could feel his eyes on me the entire time I walked away.

  When I got back to Hayden, he was grinning ear to ear. “It’s almost time,” he said. His joy was infectious, and I felt lighter just being near him. The qualifying round had just begun, and once everyone who made the cut was stacked into positions, the race would be on. I couldn’t wait.

  Not too much longer after that, John let me know that it was time for me to race my qualifying round. Since everything depended on these initial laps, nerves bubbled up inside my stomach. Breathe. In…out. Yes, I had to do well on these laps to be included in the race, but there would be no one else out there—no obstacles. Just me and the road. I’d done it before, and I could do it again.

  After grabbing my helmet and gloves, I walked up to Dex to get my Ducati. “Is she ready?” I asked.

  Dex looked uncertain. “Yeah, I think she’s…” Inhaling a deep breath, he calmed his features. “Yes, she’s ready.”

  Grabbing the bike from him, I briefly looked it over. She appeared ready to me, too. “See you in a few,” I told him. He gave me a thumbs-up, the smile on his face still overly affectionate. Maybe I shouldn’t have lifted his spirits quite so well.

  As I walked my bike to the grid boxes, my concern about Dex shifted into thoughts about Nikki. It was so weird not having her there, not seeing her confidence, her certainty in her skills, and in mine. Nikki always thought I’d be number one, every time I raced, and it was only now, when she wasn’t here, that I realized how important that unwavering support was. And knowing that she was hurting right now, missing us, missing this world, it made a trace of melancholy seep into my joy. Hope you’re doing all right, Nik. I miss you.

  But being here, living out my dream, quickly evaporated the feeling. Being out on the track filled me with so much radiant energy, I was sure the people watching could see the air shimmering above me. And for a moment, as I watched the lights, I forgot everything that had caused me worry today—the stress and rigors of both owning and racing for a team, Keith Benneti’s obvious sneers whenever he saw one of my riders, and the fact that this race would be the first time Felicia and I competed at the same time. All of that slipped away, and all that was left when the light turned green was the thrill of racing. That do-or-die, I-can’t-live-without-this feeling, that made everything worth it.

  I bolted off the line, not too quick, not too slow. My form was flawless, my lifts and lowers timed to perfection. Everything on the asphalt was going my way, and my grin was a mile wide when I finished the final lap.

  As soon as I was able, I glanced up at the scoreboard showing the standings. It gave me an unparalleled amount of joy to see my name listed above Felicia’s. This is how it should have been last year. But no need to dwell on that misery anymore, because my future was bright. Gleaming, shining, I-need-sunglasses bright. Assuming I could keep Cox Racing going, of course.

  Pushing that unwanted thought aside, I scanned the screen, looking for Hayden’s name. He’d had a remarkable finish too—third, if he could hold it. Eli and Ralph had done well, too, both making the cut so far. And Myles…he w
as sitting right at the top. Good. He deserved to be there.

  Dex was beaming when I returned my bike to the Cox Racing garage—beaming at the bike. “That was amazing!” he exclaimed. He was standing next to an older man with slicked-back, black hair, wearing a gray suit that looked completely out of place. His father.

  Ignoring the sudden flurry of nerves in my stomach, I told Dex, “Thank you. It ran like a dream.”

  Dex grinned, then indicated his father. “Dad, this is my boss, Mackenzie Cox. Kenzie, this is my father, Richard Covington.”

  Taking off my glove, I extended a hand to him. “It’s very nice to meet you, Richard. Your son is extremely talented.”

  Dex beamed at me now, and I knew I probably shouldn’t have said that right in front of him. He seemed to take praise as encouragement. Richard shook my hand right as Hayden joined us. “It’s nice to meet you, Mackenzie. Dex has told me nothing but good things about you.”

  Hayden’s jaw tightened at that, but it relaxed quickly. I indicated him to Richard. “My boyfriend, and fellow Cox racer, Hayden Hayes.”

  The two men exchanged pleasantries and shook hands, then Richard turned to me. “I’ll admit, I don’t know much about racing. My son’s interest with it has always mystified me. But I’m excited to learn more about your…business.”

  A strange chill went up my spine, but I released it with a small shoulder roll. “Well, if you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask.”

  He lifted a dark eyebrow. His eyes were the same shocking shade of blue as Dex’s. “My son mentioned that you’re looking for investors?”

  “We call them sponsors, but…yes. We are…very interested in creating some mutually beneficial partnerships.” I had to stop myself from crossing my fingers.

  Richard gave me a smile that was both calculated and charming. “I’ll keep that in mind. Good luck out there, Miss Cox.”

  “Thank you,” I answered, a mixture of positivity and uncertainty swimming in my gut. Was that a good meeting, that was going to lead to something amazing…or the exact opposite? Only time would tell.

  * * *

  Waiting for the race to begin was difficult. Now that I was here, now that I’d had a taste in the qualifying round, I just wanted to ride. That was the basis for everything I did in my life—the pinnacle. When it was time, we transferred vital equipment and personnel to the pits. John and my father helped get everything and everyone in place. Dex bounced up and down, like he had springs in the bottom of his shoes. His blue and white Cox Racing jumpsuit was streaked with grease, just like Nikki’s always used to be. “This is crazy,” he told me. “So intense…like a dream. A great dream.”

  Laughing at his eagerness, I told him, “Listen to John and my dad. They’ll help you be where you need to be, do what you need to do.” He nodded and smacked his hands together.

  The call went up for all the riders to be in their starting positions. Hayden gave me a Let’s do it grin as he grabbed his bike. I returned his eager expression as I grabbed my motorcycle. It’s time. Finally.

  It was a beautiful day—bright, sunny, clear—a perfect day for racing. As I moved into my appointed spot—in freaking fifth position—I looked around at my competitors. Hayden was above me in third, Eli and Ralph were closer to the back, and Myles was in the lead, his entire body rigid, focused on the goal in front of him. Two spaces behind me, in seventh, was Felicia. As I stared at her perched on her bike, visor down and locked in place, her roving head stopped on me. Even though I couldn’t see her eyes, I knew our gazes were connected.

  While I’d had an antagonistic relationship with Felicia last season, I didn’t feel the same way about her now. I only saw her as a worthy competitor, one I was eager to compete against.

  I nodded my head at her in acknowledgement, and she matched the gesture. Then her gaze swung back to someone behind her. Rodney. Sitting up on her bike, Felicia smacked her ass. Rodney flipped her off, and I had to laugh—they reminded me so much of Hayden and me, back in the beginning. Twisting back around to the front, I saw that Hayden was staring my way. His visor was up, and I could see the excitement and love in his eyes—eyes that were only for me. He was ready, too.

  Like he knew time was about to run out, Hayden slapped down his visor and faced the front. Almost as soon as he did, the light turned green and we were off. Adrenaline rushed through me as quickly as my motorcycle leapt forward. I accelerated, faster and faster. The euphoria of racing instantly alleviated all of my stresses, all of my troubles. There was freedom in the speed, peace in the danger. God, I loved this.

  I kept Hayden’s backside in my sights. Like before, he was my sole focus, even now that we were a team, unified. Chasing him made me smile, made me feel like giggling, and passing other riders, I kept pressing closer and closer to him. The outside world shut off, and all that was left was the two of us. Until I felt someone pull up beside me.

  Flicking a glance to my left, I spotted Felicia trying to squeeze past me. My attention instantly shifted from Hayden to her, and a renewed sense of purpose rushed through me. Oh no, you’re not beating me. Not today.

  I pressed my bike harder, pushing its capabilities. Come on, Dex, show me what you gave this baby. Every turn, I stayed ahead of Felicia, keeping her at bay, and holding my lead. Extending it even. It felt like mere seconds had passed, but before I knew it, they were waving the white flag—one more lap.

  Felicia was still behind me, and my heart started thudding in my chest. This was it. I had her, all I had to do was stay the course, keep doing what I was doing, and I would beat her. And, even though this was just one race, beating her today would be the highlight of the season for me. A precedence for every race to follow. And I was so close.

  Control, maintain focus. Relax, live, breathe. I gathered every scrap of advice, every second of training, and wrapped it around myself, made it my armor. My victory. And somehow, some way, I found it in me, in the bike, to go even faster.

  I pulled ahead of her like she was standing still and crossed the finish line seconds before she did. Holy shit… I did it. I got her. And actually… I got everyone. I scanned the track ahead of me for another rider, but there wasn’t one. Peeking back, I saw Hayden slamming his fist into the air with one finger raised—then he pointed it at me. Number one… I was number…one. Holy, fucking shit.

  With my intent wrapped up in Felicia, I’d totally missed passing the last few people…including Hayden…and Myles. Oh my God…oh my God! I’d done it! I was stunned, shocked, and roiling with emotion. Tears coursed down my cheeks, as sobs wracked my body. I’d done it…with no interference, no unknown third party paving the way for me. I’d done it with my skill, my training, my bike, and my team. We’d done it.

  The racers were slowed, then the top three were ushered to the side for their interviews, and their moment in the spotlight. As soon as we hopped off the bikes and removed our helmets, Hayden grabbed my hand. “Enjoy this moment, Kenzie. You earned it.”

  His green eyes were full of pride and happiness, and I inhaled a deep breath, savoring every second. Felicia walked slightly behind us, a small smile on her face. She’d come in third, just behind Hayden. Stopping, I waited for her to catch up to us. Around me, photographers and cameras were catching every moment of this, and that somehow felt right.

  Felicia stepped up to me, uncertainty in her eyes. We weren’t exactly friends. My smile grew as I stared at her. Then I extended a hand, in shared victory, and camaraderie. “Great race, Felicia.”

  Her smile growing more confident, she grabbed my hand. “You too, Kenzie.” She didn’t even once look at Hayden, and not because she was purposely ignoring him…he just wasn’t her focus anymore.

  Two female riders finishing in the top three had the media in a frenzy, and they swarmed us before we even had a chance to get to the designated areas. Poor Hayden was all but forgotten in the rush of everyone wanting to speak to Felicia and me. “Kenzie! Felicia! Tell us how it feels to be first and third!”r />
  It was hard to see with all the flashing lights, and the bodies crowding around me made me a little claustrophobic. Holding up my hand, I drew all the attention to myself. “I think I can safely speak for both of us when I say…it feels freaking amazing!” The reporters laughed, and Felicia nodded as she beamed.

  One of the reporters turned to me, shoving a microphone in my face. “Kenzie Cox, you seemed more focused than ever out there. What was going through your mind?”

  Even with everything that had been swirling around my thoughts today, there was only one thing in my head as I’d crossed the finish line. I knew the reporters would love it, so with a laugh, I told them, “Beat Felicia. That was pretty much it.”

  They all laughed again, and even Felicia joined in. “Well, congratulations on your first-place win, a record here at Daytona. One that you took from Felicia, with her fourth place win last year,” the reporter added with a wink at Felicia. “You must be very proud of your accomplishment, Kenzie.”

  Yes, yes, I was proud. Proud of myself, proud of my gender, and proud of my sport. And I felt a newfound determination to see my team succeed. We were going to make it. All of us. Whatever it took.

  The minute Hayden and I were released from the winner’s circle, we headed back to the Cox Racing garage. Everyone was freaking out when we got there. My ears were assaulted with the sounds of boisterous cheers, the reverberation of multiple stomping feet, and the pops of several bottles of champagne being opened. Most stunning of all, though…my father was smiling. Full-mouth, teeth-baring smile. I’d never seen him grin so big.

  Dex looked stunned when we approached him. “I did it,” he murmured. Then he shook his head. “I mean you did it. Both of you.” His smile was a mile-wide, though, and pride in his abilities shone through his expression.

  “See,” I said. “I told you you’d be fine.”