Cowgirl Thrillers

by Barbara Neville

I sit quietly, sipping the rest of my beer and wondering where we have gotten in this mess. I hope it’s not nowhere. Upbeat, eh? Then I remember that we lost Spud there for a while. We did manage to get him back in one piece. In the nick of time, no less. That cheers me up no end. I lean back, put my booted feet up on a chair and relax.

  Not much later, the boys show up. They look about as tired as I feel.

  Sir Jacob grabs a quick kiss from Charley and introduces her to Buzz. She shakes Buzz’ hand, then hugs Spud and Wolf.

  “Damn Spud, be more careful,” she says. “We depend on you.”

  “What fer?” he asks.

  “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to hear the answer to,” she says and chuckles.

  The boys walk back to sit with me. Buzz stays at the bar ordering two pitchers and some trays of snacks. In a bit, he comes back to join us.

  Spud looks happy, but haggard. Sir Jacob and Wolf look spent. I feel about half dead. Buzz looks bright eyed and bushy tailed.

  “Damn it Buzz, we all look like shit. You look like you are ready to wrassle a mountain lion,” I say.

  Sir Jacob catches my eye and says, “Powers,” in an undertone.

  “No shit. Wow,” I say and shake my head in amazement.

  Buzz says wryly, “I work out.”

  We all laugh.

  “Did you get shot out there?”

  “Just grazed me, not to worry.” He smiles.

  Fortunately the beer and pupus arrive before we mere humans fall asleep sitting up.

  A fine plate of food arrives for each of us not long after. BBQ pork ribs in fact, with fixin’s. The aroma fills me with joy. Charlie sets the platters in front of us on the big oak table. Roasted tater rounds, barbecued broccoli flowers and zucchini slices. Ooh ta.

  I tell Spud, “Now I remember why you raise them stinky ol’ pigs.”

  I likely said it before but I enjoy teasing him about the foul smelling creatures.

  Sir Jacob looks around the room. It is early enough that we have the bar to ourselves. The bartender and Charley are far enough away that we have privacy.

  He nods and says, “The coast is clear.”

  “Do we have a plan?” asks Spud.

  “We have Drops to question, plus the four river rats.”

  “What about Crystal?” asks Spud. “You sure she is bad?”

  “Why does everyone keep asking me that? Don’t you trust my judgment?” I ask.

  “Folks can change,” he says, shrugging.

  I laugh and say sarcastically, “Oh yeah, she accused me of being a horse thief and a bank robber. Which caused a bounty to be placed on my head. Or the head of Roxanne Rockefeller. Had to split town, actually planet, and change my name. But, I should forgive her. Okay, why not, been a long damn day.

  “And there is her partner to forgive, too. Mitch. Wolf snared him just as the bastard was threatening to shoot me dead.”

  Spud is shaking his shad. “Sorry darlin’, yore right, been a long day fer me also.”

  Sir Jacob says, “I am thinking that the best way to approach this, since the four out at my place are still recuperating, is to take Drops there. We will have to blindfold the bastard. Bloody wanker, I’d prefer to just kill him, but we need information if we are ever to figure this out. He may know things the others do not. We must be careful that he too learns nothing of the whereabouts of Arse End though. It’s truly a bastard of a fix in which we have found ourselves.”

  He mulls that over a bit and adds, “Every other idea I can think of seems longer and more complicated. I believe we need to chance it. Time is not on our side.”

  We all think it over and nod. We tell Spud and Wolf about Zeb’s map and expedition stories over dessert. Goat milk ice cream. Yowza.

  I rouse myself and ask, “Okay, I’m beat. Where do we sleep? My soogans are at Sir Jacobs. My saddle is on the ground where I dropped it off of Jethro. Spike is about dead.”

  “No Annie, horse fine, but need rest. Annie look like she be lucky to live ‘til mornin’.”

  “You really think that’s a compliment, Wolf?” I smile.

  Sky walks in in his brightly colored Hawaiian shirt and off duty flip flops. He is even wearing a flower lei around his neck. Actually, seems like he was wearing them while piloting us to Pi and back. Flip flops, Hawaii’s cowboy boot. Sky looks around and nods to us. Spud waves him over to the table. He gestures to the barkeep to bring another glass.

  In a minute, Charley walks over with Sky’s beer, puts it down and says, “You boys.”

  She looks at me, and adds, “and girls, can sleep on my floor if need be. I have got lots of blankets.”

  Spud smiles wearily and says, “Thank you kindly, ma’am.”

  “Hey, buddy,” says Spud, reaching over to shake Sky’s hand. “Thank you. You saved my ass this afternoon.”

  “Things didn’t look kosher. Between the look on your face and the way those guys was standing so close to you, kind of gave it away,” says Sky. “You didn’t look anxious to go with them, either. All the rest was guesswork. Luckily, Tindall was there visiting.”

  “Yeah, how did Tindall figure out that we were coming?” I ask.

  “Didn’t. He said he had just gone back to the office to pick up a shotgun. He was trying to figure out a plan for saving Spud all by his lonesome. He worships our sheriff you know,” says Sky. “Then you and Wolf came barreling around the corner. Saved the damn day.”

  “Yep. All alive and well, just some ugly loose ends to deal with here and there,” says Spud.

  “So, you never saw Michael’s signal?” I ask Sky.

  “No. I’ve been stuck down here since yesterday, can’t see Jacob’s signal hill from here,” says Sky. “Shuttle has a broken steering stabilizer. I wouldn’t of been able to take them anywhere. I was just jawin’ to keep them tied up ‘til Tindall got back.”

  “You need one a them doohickeys on the other shuttle like Sir Jacob has on that automatic car of his out on Pi.” I say. “He sends it a silent signal, like callin’ a dog. It runs right over, opens the door for ya. It just about pants and wags its tail, too.”

  “If only. Unfortunate reality is, I need a part to go anywhere. Or a lift to get back up to the Cosmos.”

  “Yeah. All this damn running around savin’ folks has purt’ near dried up the Bar None treasure chest,” says Spud. “We need to get things finished up.”

  “You could take the fuel bill fer the trip to Proxima Pi out of Paint’s pay,” I say.

  “Yeah, fer the next hundred years or so. He’s a ranch kid. He don’t get pay. Just room, board and valuable experience,” says Spud. “And he’s gettin’ a reduction in that. Mebbe cut his rations in half.” Spud chuckles. “Teenagers will eat you out of house and home.”

  Wolf nods at that.

  “Hell, ain’t like any of us are makin’ money,” he continues. “Not any of us get pay. We’re wilderness ranchers, lucky to eat. Pay is in the pretty sunsets.”

  “Warm clothes, good horses, fine firearms,” adds Wolf.

  I chime in, “Gay compadres, British Lords.”

  Looking at the sleek muscles on our bright eyed, bushy tailed friend, I add, “Superhuman companions.”

  Buzz smiles. Nice smile, I like it.

  44 Backtrackin’