by Erin Noelle
After I sang the words of the last verse, “It’s way too late for dignity, It‘s time for apologies,” I assumed both Ash and Mason understood my intentions. However, I didn’t want to leave something as important as this to assumptions.
I looked directly in Mason’s eyes and pleaded, “Mason, I know what I did was wrong in so many ways, but I just want you to know that I am truly sorry.” I paused a brief moment to let my apology be heard. “I had someone treat me similar to the way that I treated you, and if he was to apologize, I’m not sure I would accept it because I know that I deserved better than that, and so did you. But I’m also here to let you know that people can change, I know for a fact because I am a completely different person than I was a year ago. The tragic events and loss of life I had to endure to get to this point, I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but I’m thankful that I was able to make something positive out of it by gaining control of my life.” I took a deep breath before I finished what I had come to say. “I used to be a girl who believed in fairy tales. You know, the whole knight in shining armor riding in on a white horse that would lead me to my happily-ever-after. About eight months ago I lost hope and faith that I would ever find my prince, or to be more exact, that my prince would ever realize I was the one for him as he tried out all of the other princesses. But what I discovered was that I was in the wrong damn fairy tale the whole time, chasing the wrong damn prince. There’s a Psyche for every Eros, an Elizabeth for every Darcy, an Abby for every Travis,” I heard several females scream out “I love Travis,” and I couldn’t help but smile. That reference was for Evie’s all-time favorite book boyfriend. “And I only hope you still want me to be the Angel to your Rat.” I turned up my nose just slightly when I said his nickname. “All along I was wearing the wrong wings.”
Mason slowly made his way towards me and stepped up onto the stage. I didn’t move. He looked down at me and seared me with his intense stare. “Don’t you ever fly away again, Angel. I swear I’ll have your wings clipped.” Then he picked me up into his arms and crushed me against his body.
“I’ve missed you so much, Angel. I love you.”
“I love you too, Rat boy. I love you, too.”
Epilogue
Ash
Eight months. It had been eight goddamned months since I had seen her. It took everything inside me not to walk up on that stage and drag her off and claim her as mine once and for all. But I didn’t. I could see the look of determination in her eyes and the last thing I wanted to do was piss her off. I had a lot of making up to do and acting like a psychotic caveman in front of all of those people most definitely wasn’t the best way to start.
I couldn’t believe she was actually standing there. Finally. Scarlett had finally come back. I honestly wasn’t sure if she ever would. I thought that maybe, just maybe, losing her best friend and me shattering her heart within a matter of a two day period would have been too much for her to ever return, but once again, she proved to be the incredible person I knew she was. My butterfly.
She looked even more beautiful that I had remembered. I loved seeing my design permanently inked on her leg; I loved knowing that every day when she looked at it, she had to think of me, if only for a brief moment. I looked down at my forearm and smiled. My daily thoughts of her lasted way longer than brief moments. Scarlett MacGregor consumed me. Every hour of every day.
Hearing her smooth, silky voice as she began to sing sent a warm tingly feeling throughout my entire body and my cock instinctively hardened. God, how I had missed hearing that sweet sound. As she sang about apologies and love and hurt, I thought back to the last time I saw her. If there was ever a day in my life I could do a redo, that would be the one.
Death is a bitch, especially when someone who is way too young to die does. The day that Evie died, my world came crashing down around me. Not only was it painful and heartbreaking because Evie was my friend, but her death hurt the person I loved more than anything so badly and I didn’t know what to do. I had never in my life felt so helpless, so useless. I had tried to be there for Scarlett, I had tried holding her, talking to her, and just being with her, but she had completely frozen up. Her usually cheerful, sparkling brown eyes were dull and empty and her spirit was broken. After the funeral, she had insisted on being by herself. I knew that wasn’t a good idea, especially back at the dorm where she had so many memories with Evie, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. So by the time Jess, Meg, and I had returned to our house, I was pissed beyond belief at everyone and everything. I immediately closed myself off in my room because I knew better than to be around anyone else. I would most likely be a dick and say something I didn’t mean. I heard Jess say she was leaving for Jacob’s a few minutes later and that was followed by the closing of Meg’s bedroom door.
I ended up falling asleep; I was physically and mentally exhausted and drained. I wasn’t sure how long it had been but I was woken up by a knock on the front door. At first I thought it might be Scarlett that she had changed her mind about going back to her place, but when I opened the door I was disappointed to see some girl that I had been stupid enough to bring home with me a week or so before. I usually didn’t like these girls to know where I lived to avoid such situations. The girl, I can’t even remember her name, immediately latched on to me and started kissing my neck and telling me how much she had missed me and needed me. I tried pushing her off and telling her to go away, but damn if she wasn’t persistent. I just didn’t have the will in me to tell her no a third time as her kissing continued and her hand stroked me outside my jeans. In what ended up being the worst decision of my life, I yanked her by the arm back to my room and tried to fuck my anger out.
The look on Scarlett’s face when she opened my bedroom door that night would be forever etched into my brain. It is what haunted me every night and pushed me to keep living every day since then. I didn’t know what to do or what to say to her standing there, the scene spoke for itself. I was the asshole of all assholes, the scum of all scum, whatever else you could think of to describe the worst human on the planet. I deserved every single thing she said to me and more. It was at that moment, however, that I knew for sure that she was indeed my soulmate, that I needed her in my life forever. I had never known that I could feel pain and agony so intense until I saw the horrific look of abandonment and disgust in her eyes. I tried to stop her but that was impossible. She flew out of my house and out of my life as I sat naked on my bed with some meaningless fuck huddled on the floor next to my bed. And that was the moment that everything changed.
I knew that I needed to get my life together so that if I ever had the chance again to get her back in my life, I could be the man she deserved. The very next day I went to the tattoo parlor and had my butterfly put on my forearm. The new addition to her calf had not gone unnoticed during her short-lived visit and despite everything else, it had thrilled me to know that she had gotten my design permanently inked onto her body. From the tattoo parlor, I went directly to the jewelry store. I wanted to be completely prepared to show her the degree of my love and dedication if I ever got another chance. I looked at the ring every night before going to bed and prayed to any and every God out there to bring her back.
After her song, she said her speech about how she didn’t think she could accept my apology after everything I had done, but was asking Rat for forgiveness for whatever she did to him. If she slept with him, I was going to kill him with my bare hands. I knew she was purposely digging the knife in when she compared hers and his relationship to that of Psyche and Eros, but I also knew that I deserved every ounce of pain she inflicted on me. It made me sick to my stomach to watch their reuniting embrace as they professed their love for each other, but I sat back biding my time. Rat looked up and stared directly into my eyes as he held her body up against his, claiming his victory. The look I gave him in return was full of warning and promise. I hoped he was ready for a fight because if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that Scarlett MacGregor belonged
with me. I knew it. He knew it. And she knew it. I just needed to remind her. She was forever my Psyche, my butterfly.
Acknowledgements
First, I have to thank my husband, Zar, who was by my side through this entire process. I wrote this entire book late at night in bed, so he was literally right by my side through the entire process. No, seriously, he could not have been more supportive and understanding of the time I spent writing this and I love that I made him proud.
I would also like to thank the following:
Nicki - you were the person that first told me that I could do this, you pushed me and believed in me until I finally crossed the finish line. This is here because of you.
Tracey – my favorite sister and best friend, I owe you so much not just for your beta reading and editing this, but for everything. I love you so much
Ela - my imprint, what more can I say? I’m so glad that I had you to keep me sane throughout this whole thing. And everyone on Team Ash, can thank you for inspiring the epilogue.
Trina - my manager that works for free, thank you for listening and giving great advice, you are always there whether I need to vent or need guidance on how to share my creation with the world
Nina - thank you for loving books like I do and beta reading throughout, without you Scarlett would’ve had three arms and she would’ve cooked dinner only to go out to eat right after
Mary Jo – you are a genius, thank you for getting the cover just perfect and formatting I don’t know how many versions of this thing
Tiffany & Kirsten – for helping me edit, I needed both of your watchful eyes
Mom – for everything ~ past, present, & future
Granny – for instilling my love of reading, I will never forget our Saturday trips to the cafeteria and bookstore
Special thanks to Rachel Scott, MJ Coker, & Lester Lilley Jr for ideas and work on the cover. I love the way it turned out!!
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Epilogue
