Killing Time

by John Kerr

  ‘Glass of whisky, please, Winston,’ said Jake, quickly following with,

  ‘Better make that a 12-year-old.’

  ‘Oh! You remembered, how thoughtful,’ quipped Bob.

  ‘It’s a little wild out there tonight, Bob, don’t you think?’ said Vicky.

  ‘No, can’t say I noticed,’ answered Bob, giving Jake a little wink that didn’t go unnoticed.

  ‘Now, how did I know you were going to say that? You’re…You’re as bad as he is,’ she said, gesturing towards Jake.

  ‘Out walking in all sorts of bad weather; I thought you would have had more sense, Bob… Jake - he’s just a nutcase.’

  Bob took a large drink from his glass before replying,

  ‘Well, you see, Victoria, it’s like this… Who do you think taught this young man everything he knows? Who do you think dragged him kicking and screaming over hills all over this lovely world of ours until he was finally good enough to be let out on his own?’ Bob’s voice suddenly dropped to almost a whisper as he leaned closer to Vicky.

  ‘And who do you think worried himself sick when the arsehole got lost in a blizzard and was two days late, eh? No wonder I’ve no hair left,’ he patted the top of his bald head, the three of them erupting into laughter.

  ‘I think I’m going to like your old Sergeant Major,’ laughed Victoria.

  ‘Okay, let’s grab a seat and you can tell me all about the little village that holds such a fascination for you guys,’ said Bob, as they moved away from the bar and sat down beside the roaring fire.

  ‘And later on you can play that piano in the corner and we can have a little sing song just like old times.’ Bob added

  TWENTY-SIX

  It was the end of the second week in January. It had been a quiet Christmas. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened. But little did Jake Silverman know that by the end of the month his whole world would implode completely and his life would never be the same again? When the change started he didn’t know at the time but with just a little hindsight he could see that the signs were screaming out at him. Vicky had asked him to redecorate the house but then changed her mind. She had also wanted to change the garden. Now that was a job that he had looked forward to doing, but again she decided it was alright and wanted it left alone. She had bought some new clothes then she bought some more new clothes. Then there was the make up, new shoes and a fashionable new hair style. Jake noticed it all but saw nothing. He was a soldier and had been all his life. What the hell did he know about the female psyche. Females to him were a total enigma and his inexperience let him down badly.

  They had driven into town and Vicky hardly said a word in the car. Jake thought she was a bit tense and it felt strange. She dropped him off and headed towards the bank. He walked through the park, down to the square, and a liquid lunch. He was only out of the park a few minutes when he heard a car horn sound. Davie waved him over.

  ‘No need to ask where you are going. Get in and I’ll drop you off,’ he said.

  ‘Cheers… You have saved me a full five minutes, you’re a life saver,’ Jake replied, as he jumped into the passenger seat. Within minutes Davie turned into the market square and stopped at the traffic lights 300 metres from the Crown bar. Both he and Davie turned simultaneously to the right and watched as the large well dressed man approached a car. He looked like the new bank manager. His clothes were designer wear, and he carried a tan coloured brief case which matched his leather shoes perfectly. He had a scarf round his neck and he had an expensive look about him. Vicky sat in the car and both Jake and Davie watched as he dropped into the seat beside her and unmistakably leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. Jake’s heart sank.

  There were only a few people in the pub so the conversation was almost non-existent and as Jake finished his second drink it suddenly hit him. He hadn’t a clue what to do or what to say… For the first time in his life he felt truly lost.

  Jake was a soldier who in battle, of which there had been a great many, could make snap decisions that usually turned out to be correct. In the heat of a fire-fight he always knew what he had to do. Hard though it was, deciding whether someone should die or not was a choice Jake had made many times and had made it in the blink of an eye; but now, as he sat alone at the bar, what was he to do? He went over and over the scene in his head. His mind’s eye was a tool of perfection, every detail was etched in his brain…it was his job. Although he had only seen them a few minutes, the picture was crystal clear in his head. Jake had only glimpsed the guy from the back; he knew he was about six one with a stocky frame. Western in looks, with brownish hair in a side parting, cut short. Shit, what the fuck was he doing? Jake started to panic. You’re treating what is probably an innocent situation as if the poor guy was a target to be taken somewhere quiet and shot in the back of the head. Calm down, pull yourself together.

  Jake knew he needed to find out … needed to ask her what was happening? But he decided that would be the wrong approach. No. Leave it and see if she says anything. That’s the best way. All the insignificant little things that had happened in the last few weeks jumped into his head. Vicky had seemed out of sorts, she had seemed distant and had been quieter than usual… Is that what it was? Had she been out with the girls from work or had she been with him? Jake felt he could trust Vicky with his life. His head was pounding. He was somehow frightened of what he had seen, knowing it wasn’t right. He had a bad feeling and he knew deep inside that for the first time in his life he was not in control. There was nothing he could do. He felt as if he was on the outside looking in. Jake had been alone before - many times - but this was different. He had a feeling in him he had never felt before and it gripped his insides. Jake had to leave the pub, had to get out. He walked and walked, he didn’t know for how long. He just kept putting one foot in front of the other. It was getting dark when he snapped back to reality. He was scared… No, he wasn’t - he was fucking terrified. Without realising how he had got there, he was standing at the edge of the wood, 500 metres from his back door. Her back door. He had been there for half an hour, although it was cold, Jake felt nothing. There was a fear in him that he couldn’t understand. Jake had in the past entered many houses through doors, windows, and skylights; even on occasion through the roof itself. Right now he didn’t have the courage to go into his own house, through his own door and face, not an enemy ready, willing and very able to kill him, but the very reason that he opened his eyes every day. Jake sat with his back pressed hard against a tree and every conceivable thought ran through his head. He knew he would have to go home, but his body wouldn’t move. He was somehow fixed to the spot. Get a grip! Move! It didn’t matter how many times the thought ran through his head, nothing happened. After another hour the rain started to fall and within minutes, with no wet-weather gear, he was completely drenched. Jake closed his eyes and stared at the pictures in his head. He didn’t like them but couldn’t shake them. Jake opened his eyes looked down the hill towards home. Everything was as it should be. Suddenly he was on his feet, moving forward. He was on automatic pilot; he didn’t want to do this but knew he had no choice.

  The lights were on and Vicky’s car was parked in front of the house. Before he could stop himself he had reached the back door and stepped inside. This time he didn’t remove his boots. There was no noise, no sound, no greeting from anywhere. Jake moved slowly into the lounge. Vicky sat with her feet tucked up underneath her on the settee. Jake could feel the tension… This was bad. He moved round and sat next to her; he was almost in a complete daze. He looked at her but she didn’t look at him. Christ! She had the most perfect profile and he couldn’t take his eyes from her. Suddenly Jake felt like a fish floundering on the beach as the tide rushed out. He was drowning without being in the water. He was bleeding heavily but there was no incision. After what seemed an age she turned and looked into his eyes. Right there and right then, his heart snapped completely in two. She didn’t say a word, she didn’t need to. There, inside those
deep-brown eyes, were all the words and all the excuses Jake needed. He could see the tears begin to well-up in her eyes. Automatically he wiped them away; he didn’t ever want to see her cry… Not now, not ever.

  Vicky opened her mouth to speak but Jake stopped her with his finger as he pressed it softly against her lips. He closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. Vicky dropped her head but Jake gently lifted it and ran his fingers through her soft black hair for the last time. He drank in the beauty of her face; he wanted to take the picture with him and keep it safe for all time coming. Jake’s hands dropped onto her lap and he took her hands in his, lifted them up to his face and kissed both her opened palms. Jake could smell her, could feel her so very close to him. He knew they would never be this close again and it felt like life itself had stopped. Life had come to an abrupt and painful end. She was now no longer his… But he would always belong to her. Jake closed his eyes and etched her face deep inside his brain… It would soon be all he had left.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Five weeks had passed since Jake had left the house. It had all been a blur. He had moved into a small bed-sit in Hawthorn Street behind the market square in town. His window looked towards the rear of the bank. He hated living there but it was all he could get in a hurry. Hated living there because he knew Vicky’s new lover worked there beside her. He had been right; the man he had seen with Vicky was the new manager. Information had filtered down through their mutual friends. They hadn’t wanted to tell him, but Jake had led them to believe it was okay - everything was fine. He was on an even keel and it was just one of those things…

  Inside, Jake was broken. He wanted to be with her so very much, wanted to hold her, needed to love her and be near to her. But now he had nothing left but the precious memories deep inside his head. That was something that they could never take away from him…ever. Jake had believed in the love she had given him. Thought it would last a whole lifetime, and he had taken a great deal of comfort in the belief that they would always be together.

  Now he had lost direction; he was stumbling about in the dark and no amount of army training could help him out of the situation in which he now found himself in. Jake didn’t know how or why it had happened. It had crept up on him and he certainly hadn’t seen it coming. But that’s how it goes. Jake never thought for one minute it would ever be his name on the ticket. Had the affair been going on while they where together? He hadn’t a clue. When had it started? That was another mystery. Jake hadn’t spoken to Vicky since the split, and he didn’t want to. He had gone back to the house the very next day while she was at work and removed all trace of himself ever having been there. It proved to be one of the hardest days of his life. He went over the place with a fine toothcomb, and when he had finished, forensics would’ve been hard pressed to find any evidence that Jake Silverman had ever lived there.

  After clearing the house in a very military way, Jake had sat outside in the sunshine. A thousand thoughts had rushed through his head. He held the house keys in his hands - her house keys now - and he knew full well that once he let them fall onto the floor through the letter box there would be no going back. The inevitability of it all made him sit there for almost a full hour. He looked up at King’s Point Mol, but it couldn’t give him any of the comfort that he so desperately sought. The answer was not up there, it was inside his own head. But at that exact moment he just couldn’t see it…. Or didn’t want to. Jake couldn’t let them go, he just couldn’t… But he knew he had to. As they dropped onto the wooden floor he knew he would never again deliver anything through another letterbox… His days as a postman were over… Forever.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Since the break-up Jake had been into the pub on a number of occasions. He had yet to meet Vicky, though that was probably more to do with luck than anything else. It was a scenario that could not have appealed to him any less. People had been polite, just as he had expected, and they never brought her name up when he was there. People in this area were always laid-back, and they would let Jake speak about Victoria when he was ready.

  So speak about her he did. Jake did a true ‘hearts and minds’ on everyone, and no one suspected a thing. He worked on them slowly, like a true professional. After only a couple of weeks they actually believed that he wasn’t too bothered. Little by little, information filtered down to Jake about Vicky and her new lover. Christ, they had even started to frequent the Crown, and Jake knew that would be because Vicky had probably heard that Jake didn’t care one way or another. He would keep it that way. His true feelings about what had happened were nothing to do with anyone except Jake.

  Jake could feel the hills call to him as he gradually accepted the fact that he would be on his own for the foreseeable future. He had known it was going to be hard, but he had had no idea just how hard. The gear was ready; he was taking to the hills. Jake didn’t feel like he was running away, but he needed to be somewhere he felt at ease. Somewhere he felt he could focus himself. Jake needed to get away from here, and wondered if he would ever return. It was 5 a.m. and Jake wanted to be off before everyone started to go to work on this Monday morning. He hadn’t been out to the hills since the break-up but was raring to go. Jake was well prepared and all his equipment was up to scratch. He left the bed-sit without a sound; even the dogs missed his footsteps as he moved out into the square of the still-sleeping town. He stopped briefly outside the bank and stared at the building. He lifted his arms to fire an imaginary burst of machine gun fire along its entire length. Thirty rounds bursting through the windows gave him little satisfaction as he quickly turned and headed across the deserted square. Jake was gone…

  * * *

  Captain Peter Soutar of the Scots Guards was the most recent addition to The Circle and he was determined to be a success. He had his orders and he would carry them out to the letter. Peter had moved to Fenton six weeks earlier and had got to know the place pretty well. He could see why Jake had made the choice to move back to this picturesque little village when he left the military. It was a nice little place, where things moved at a very much slower pace than any of the larger towns and cities. He had also found out where Jake spent his time, and knew of the recent demise of the relationship with Vicky. But right now, no one knew where Jake was. They hadn’t seen him for days. That was not unusual as Jake often disappeared, sometimes for weeks at a time. Peter had even made contact with Vicky, now that she and her new boyfriend Justin has started to frequent the pub once used by Jake and Vicky. She seemed nice enough, and he also found Justin to be a really nice guy. It quickly became apparent that no one knew anything of Jake’s past. Yes, they knew he had been a soldier but that was all. Peter had Jake’s story stuck inside his head and it was quite a story. He had in effect become a one-man fighting machine. The locals thought very highly of Jake, even though he was very quiet and kept himself to himself. Christ, they even thought he was not at all bothered about losing Vicky to a rival. But Peter knew they had become more than close. Whatever Jake felt, it would be kept deep inside and no one would find out what he had been through, not even Peter. That was if he ever saw Jake again.

  Peter had little to do but wait until Jake showed up. He was now nice and settled, and felt almost part of the décor. People in the village had accepted him and would speak openly in front of him as if he wasn’t there. Another ‘hearts and minds’ job was complete, but it wasn’t them he was here to convince, it was Jake. The Circle needed him sooner rather than later. The general consensus was it was about to go pear-shaped in the Middle East, and all available personnel had been in the region for two months now. MI5 had seconded bodies to MI6 and left itself vulnerable back here in the U.K. A number of sleeper cells had already been identified and were now on the move. The Circle personnel had been left to defend the United Kingdom almost single-handedly. It was looking increasingly like the shit could be on its way, and right now they were sitting ducks. If there was ever a time that Jake’s undoubted talents were needed, it was now. Peter c
ould do nothing other than sit tight and wait. Still it could’ve been worse. Here he was, being paid to watch the door and the local female population until Jake made an appearance.

  It was mid-afternoon. The call had just come through to Peter that he had to travel back to London urgently. Something was about to break and he had to hear it first-hand. Shit, he was going to miss Jake’s return. No matter, he would be back in a day or two. Sally, the barmaid, said she would miss Peter, which was some small comfort, but as he didn’t expect to be away for any length of time he didn’t check out of his room. It was now a quick shower, a change of clothes, into the car and back to the big city in the south. The trip was quick and uneventful. Peter drove straight to the office, parked in the basement car park, jumped in the lift down to the lower basement, went out through the janitor’s room and into H.Q. As Peter entered the briefing room there was a tension in the air. Although he was the new boy, he could still feel it.

  Sitting at the table were four men, only two of whom he knew - Major Grant, his immediate boss and Colonel Harrison. Of the two others, he thought he knew one of them from somewhere but couldn’t place him. There would be no introductions. He didn’t need to know their names; all he needed to know was what the hell was happening.

  ‘Sit down, Peter,’ said Grant. Peter sat down directly in front of his boss and listened intently. Twelve hours later he was back in his room, thinking hard about the meeting. Interpol had followed a group of hardened criminals half way across Europe. They had been tailed all the way to the Dover crossing where they split up and disappeared. Bodies started to appear this side of the channel so it was assumed they were now on U.K. soil. It was also thought that the group were heavily armed and on their way north. MI5 and Special Branch were now on full alert. The bad guys were in the country somewhere and had to be found. It was now 6 a.m. Peter had now been awake for almost twenty-four hours and driven over 1200 kilometres, but he couldn’t sleep. Shit, he really had to get hold of Jake and it would have to be soon.