Killing Time
Page 18
The night wore on and the road sped beneath them. It was after midnight and the rain had started. Up ahead, Peter could see a number of brake lights flicker on as the traffic slowly came to a halt. ‘Shit, road works,’ he mumbled softly. A quick glance at Jake told him he was still asleep. He appeared somewhat restless, but asleep nonetheless. Directly in front of them was a large open-topped truck. It coughed and spluttered as it jerked slowly to a stop, waited for a few moments, moved on another few metres and then ground to a halt once more. Peter pulled the handbrake on and threw the gear stick into neutral.
Little did he know that in the next few minutes both their working and personal relationships were going to change forever. It was an incident Peter would never forget.
This is a nightmare, Peter thought, as they bumped slowly along behind the large truck, little realising that Jake was going through his own personal nightmare. Jake was again on the railway line, helpless as always, and listening to the rumble of the train as it growled its way through his nightmare towards them both. The next moment, as Peter had pulled forward, the truck driver somehow managed in an instant put his vehicle into reverse. The truck’s large white reversing-light suddenly came on as Peter floored his brake pedal. The car screeched to a halt.
Jake blinked his eyes open at the precise moment in his nightmare that the train had been about to take Vicky from him. Jake’s reaction was instantaneous and very animated. He screamed, and automatically his arms shot directly out in front of him. The inertia mechanism in his seat belt activated and pulled him back into his seat. His arms dropped onto his lap again and he automatically grasped for a weapon that wasn’t there.
‘Shit!’ yelled Peter. Jake threw his hands back out to his front and locked onto the grab bar attached to the dashboard of the Land Rover. Peter could see Jake’s eyes as they bulged out from their sockets. Jake looked absolutely terrified.
‘Jake!’ Peter screamed, ‘Jake!’ Jake turned and looked directly at Peter but he was looking straight through him. Wherever Jake was at that exact moment, he wasn’t sitting next to Peter.
‘Jake, you okay?’ Jake turned back and stared at the large bright light ahead. The light suddenly went out, but Peter could see the beads of sweat as they formed on Jake’s face. He was panting like a marathon runner. Jake felt like shit.
‘Fuck,’ he said, as he dropped his face into his cupped hands.
‘Fuck.’ He screamed into his hands. Peter put his left hand on Jake’s shoulder and squeezed.
‘Okay, mate, it’s over. Calm yourself down, it’s gone!’ Peter tried to sound as reassuring as he could, but he doubted if he’d convinced himself never mind Jake.
‘Sod this!’ he shouted aloud, as he pulled the 4x4 onto the hard shoulder and floored the accelerator. Soon they were down the off-ramp and far from the static traffic. Peter swung the car into the service station, went inside and returned with a large black coffee and a tea, three sugars and lots of milk. Jake gratefully took his and gulped the biggest mouthful he could.
Peter looked long and hard at him.
‘Look, Jake this is definitely not right.’ Jake just shook his head slowly.
‘How can you expect me to send you out to do any kind of delivery, never mind the one you’re about to get into, when you’re in this state? You scared the shit out of me back there. Christ, if you’d had a weapon in your hand you’d have blown the fucking windscreen out. No, this is not on.’ All went quiet. Jake put his cup down on top of the dashboard and wiped his face with his hand. He forced his head back into his headrest and took a deep breath… a very deep breath. He turned and looked firstly at Peter and then out into the blackness of the cold February night. The confusion inside his mind was overwhelming as a million thoughts rumbled through his head. He wound the window down and tried as hard as he could to get the countryside and the darkness to surround him, give him the comfort he so desperately craved. The cold night air rushed through the vehicle and he felt the wind on his face. It felt good.
‘You know, Jake, there are some things on this planet that you just have to share.’ Peter said almost pleading.
‘It’s no good trying to go through life as if everything is normal and keeping quiet about something that’s obviously eating away at you. Now, I’m not going to say ‘a problem shared’ and all that shit, but it’s probably true and especially in our line of work. You’ve got to let me help, for both our sakes. And you know something? I think you know that. So if you don’t mind, mate, let’s have it and then we can have a chin-wag about it and then get the fuck out of here.’ Jake said nothing; he placed the cup to his mouth, filled his belly with the remainder of his tea and threw the empty cup through his open window. He placed his head back in the seat and closed his eyes.
Peter watched and waited… he didn’t know how long he waited but it was long enough. He opened his mouth to speak again as Jake turned…Peter stopped himself.
FORTY-SIX
Jake slowly reached into the inside breast pocket of his jacket and removed his wallet. He took out a small passport-sized photograph. He looked at it as he held it in his hand, and gently rubbed his forefinger over the top of it. Peter watched intently… Next Jake let his thumb glide softly over it and, almost in slow motion, he handed it to Peter. He held the small photograph up and the lights from the service station fell onto a picture of Vicky. She was instantly recognisable and he very slowly nodded his head.
‘Yeah, she’s lovely, and that’s no lie,’ said Peter. Jake turned and began to speak; he didn’t want to, but he knew deep inside that Peter was right, and that in the long run it would be better for all concerned.
‘That’s the only picture I have of her. Over eighteen months together and I only have one small lousy picture. Christ, I was so busy looking at her and admiring what I was looking at that I forgot to take anymore. Now all I’ve got left is that picture and all the memories inside my head.’ He stopped and shook his head.
‘It’s not enough, is it?’ asked Peter.
‘No, Peter… it most certainly is not,’ Jake replied.
‘You know, every time I’m out there in the middle of nowhere, when the lights go down and I can’t see my hand in front of my face, I always take that little picture out and look at it. Shit, I can’t see it, but I look at it because I know she’s looking back at me and it never fails to give me lift. After that last delivery things got a little bit hairy out there, and on the way home it was rather touch-and- go. In fact, if I’m perfectly honest, and I suppose that is what we are trying to be, there was a time when I thought I may not make it back,’ said Jake, shaking his head.
‘Yes, the weather reports said it was worst snowstorm in living memory,’ interrupted Peter.
‘Yes, well it certainly felt like it when I was stuck right in the centre of it. It almost felt like the heavens themselves were angry with me, and it turned out to be a pretty frightening experience. But throughout the entire night the overpowering thought in my head was that if I let it get on top of me, or even let go completely, then I would never see Vicky again. Even though she’s with someone else and I know deep down I’ll never again put my arms around her, I know she’s always going to be out there with me. She gives me an edge, Peter, an edge that I never had before. There is just no way a little bit of bad weather or a fucking fruitcake with a Kalashnikov is going to nail me… I’m here for the duration.’ Peter watched as his friend began to open up.
‘I miss her like you wouldn’t believe. Christ, I waken in the middle of the night and her face flashes into my head. But I’m definitely here till the fat female sings, don’t you worry about that, mate. You know that they say it gets easier with the passing of time? Yeah, well it’s been over three months now and, believe me, it still hurts like hell. I just can’t shake it, Peter, it’s like she’s everywhere I turn. I see someone walking in front of me in the street, she’s got the same colour or style of hair as Vicky, and I feel I’ve got to turn and walk the other way. She’s
constantly in my thoughts. Worst thing of all is when I speak to her - I’m terrified to look her straight in the eye. That’s what floored me the first time we met; her eyes are so fucking deep you could fall into them and lose yourself forever…Someone far more educated than me once said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. I don’t know who it was but he must have been looking at Vicky when he said it. It’s really crazy to say this, but here I am, afraid of nothing on this man’s earth, I’ve done things that would make most grown men cry, and I’m fucking petrified of a young woman with dark hair and the deepest brown eyes.’ Jake gave a heavy sigh, and continued.
‘I’ve been having this nightmare, over and over, and it just won’t go away. I’m on a railway line, Vicky is with me. She’s somehow managed to get her foot caught in the points and in the distance I can just hear a train. It’s coming our way but I can’t move my arms. I can see her shouting at me for help but I can’t help her and I can’t hear her… all I can hear is the fucking train as it gets closer and closer. I can feel the line rumble as it’s heading towards us and just as it’s about to hit her I’m suddenly free to move. It’s too late to save her because it’s right on top of us… all I’ve got time to do is step in front of her and face the train. The last thing I see is the front lights of the train and that’s when I come round.’
‘The reversing light on the truck?’
‘Yes, the reversing light on that bastard truck.’
‘Christ that is a nightmare. And you have it frequently?’ asked Peter.
‘Yeah, usually when I close my eyes.’
‘Fuck… That much.? Listen, we can probably get you some help with this one, now that we know what the problem is. When we get back home I’ll make a few phone calls,’ he said.
‘No!…’ Jake screamed.
‘That’s not why I told you. I told you because you’re my fucking linkman. You’re right, we should have no secrets and it does feel a little better now that I’ve told you, so you have to promise me, Peter… this goes no further. Promise!’ Jake raised his voice. Now it was Peter’s turn to look away. A hundred scenarios were rushing through his head, all at the same time. Shit! What to do? What to do?
‘Promise,’ said Jake again.
‘Promise,’ he said a third time, under his breath. Peter turned suddenly and now saw Jake in a completely new light. Here, sitting next to him, was a man who was about to go out into the night, to face an unknown number of hostiles, get into hot fire-fights on his own, and in between have to move through the night and find them in the dark. And he was sitting here asking Peter not to tell anyone that he was still so very much in love with Vicky. Vicky who had now found someone else…Christ! Life must really be shit for you, mate. The thought stung Peter. He went over and over it in his head before finally turning to Jake.
‘Well, if that’s what you want and you’re sure it won’t get in the way.’ he heard himself say.
‘Believe me, Peter, it won’t get in the way. Anyway, I told you, she gives me an edge. Fuck knows where it comes from but she definitely gives me an edge,’ Jake said, and Peter heard the relief in his voice. Peter knew then that they had now come out of the other side. They had somehow managed to break down a barrier… they could start to think as one. If Jake had a problem with Vicky in the times to come Peter knew in his heart that he wouldn’t keep it to himself. They were communicating the way they should, and he hoped that from here on in it would get a whole lot easier.
‘Okay, if this is the time when we start being absolutely truthful with each other, there’s a little piece of information that I’ve got for you. Now you can either use or disregard it,” said Peter. He went on,
‘Vicky and Justin have been getting some minor hassle from a few of the boys back home. I’m told it’s nothing major but there was most definitely a very worried look in her eyes when I spoke to them about it,’ said Peter.
‘Do we know who they are?’
‘Yes… well, apparently there was an incident a while back when both of you came across the very same guys fighting in an alley. There were knives involved. Do you remember?’ said Peter, watching for any reaction. Jake said nothing; instead he just stared straight out of the window. He was deep in thought. Then, very slowly, he nodded his head.
‘Bryant! Yeah… Yeah, I remember, down beside the cinema. They drink in Chandlers, it’s at the other side of town, and they only venture out of their little den when they are looking for some sport,’ Jake said knowingly.
‘So you know Bryant then?’
‘We were at school together…he’s an arsehole.’
‘Well, apparently this Bryant and his bunch have been giving Vicky some grief, and it seems it’s not the first time. Anyway, I thought you’d like to know and then maybe you could have a discreet word,’ said Peter.
‘Consider it done. But remember… Vicky is to know nothing of this. I’m going to sort it out, but I don’t want her to know,’ Jake said.
‘As long as it’s quiet and painless,’ said Peter.
‘Oh… I don’t know about that. You know, I’ve known these guys for years and they have always been trouble. They usually keep to their own side of the track, if you know what I mean, but occasionally they cause trouble down our way. I’ve always given them a wide berth… until now that is. I seriously think I’m going to enjoy taking them down a peg or two,’ said Jake, almost thinking out loud.
‘Just you remember, they will probably have knives with them, so take it easy. I don’t want you damaged in any way,’ Peter said in a worried voice.
‘No problems… this one is for me,’ Jake said. Peter shook his head as he started the engine and pushed the gear lever into first. He turned the car out of the service station and headed home.
FORTY-SEVEN
Friday lunchtime, and Peter was waiting to meet Jake. He had been in the pub only half an hour when the front door opened and Jake entered. He looked a whole lot better than when Peter lifted him off the hill. Peter was amazed yet again at Jake’s powers of recovery. He nodded to Winston who poured Jake’s usual drink. Guinness always went down well and this time was no exception.
‘How do you feel?’ asked Peter.
‘Feeling good and ready to go.’ Jake was speaking just above a whisper.
‘I want to try out this new sight before I recce the houses. Have you had any word on them moving out?’
‘No, nothing yet. I’ve a feeling it will happen within the next couple of days. How long do you think you’ll be away for?’ Jake just shook his head.
‘Hard to say, but I would like to do a close recce if I can. Let’s say about forty-eight hours to be on the safe side.’ As he was speaking Jake was unaware that Vicky and Justin had entered the pub and were standing behind him. Suddenly the look on Peter’s face spoke volumes. Jake closed his eyes slightly and shook his head… He didn’t have to ask. Peter saw Jake take a deep breath, and was most surprised at what happened next. Jake turned.
‘I’ll get those,’ he announced to Winston, and pushed a ten pound note into his hand.
‘Hi, guys,’ he said to Vicky and Justin. The look in Vicky’s eyes was that of great surprise. Jake had his hand outstretched before she could utter a sound.
‘Jake, Jake Silverman. One time local postman and now gainfully unemployed. You must be Justin, our new bank manager. Pleased to make your acquaintance.’ They shook hands and Jake felt Justin’s grip; it was strong and powerful.
‘Yes, thanks, I’ve heard a lot about you from Vicky.’ Jake glanced at her then quickly averted his gaze. It was all he could cope with and he felt the tension rise and pass through his entire body.
‘Nothing bad, I hope. She can be a little rascal you know!’
‘No, nothing bad. And you’re right, she can be a little rascal, and usually is,’ answered Justin.
‘I wish you two would stop talking about me as if I wasn’t here,’ quipped Vicky, as she lifted her drink.
‘Cheers,’ she said.
‘Right, people, Jake’s for the off. Can’t drink too much before I take to the hills,’ he announced.
‘You going out tonight?’ Vicky asked in a tone he had heard many, many times before. There was the slightest hint of worry in her voice, and Jake tried very hard to ignore it.
‘Yeah, I’ll be gone a couple of days,’ he said to her.
‘What’s this, you do a bit of hill walking then? I used to like to trample about the hills when I was younger, and I was quite good at it,’ announced Justin.
‘Yeah, I’ll bet you were,’ Jake said, trying with all he had not to sound patronising.
‘Anyway, I’ll away and get my gear ready. Nice to have met you, Justin. I’ll see you sometime,’ Jake said.