Mommy Wanted

by Renee Andrews

  “Trouble picking one out?” Kate asked.

  “Trouble with me finding the one she wants,” Mitch clarified, while Mr. Feazell, standing nearby and watching it all, laughed.

  Mitch couldn’t imagine her wanting the other dog, with its flat face and wrinkles, but he took it from the batch, and then was shocked when Emmie began clapping.

  “Yes!” She grabbed the smushed-faced toy as soon as it was within reach and promptly buried her head against its fur. “Doggy!”

  “That’s the one you want?” Mitch asked, but Emmie simply continued to snuggle and love the new toy. He looked at Mr. Feazell. “I guess that’s the one we’ll take.”

  But Ted Feazell’s hand was over his mouth, his eyes were wide and his head shook slightly as he watched Emmie’s reaction to the toy. “I’m not believing...”

  Confused, Mitch looked from him to his baby girl and then back. “Not believing what?”

  “It’s just that, well, most little girls go for the cute puppies, you know, the fluffy ones, softer fur, that type of thing. I don’t get that many bulldogs in, because girls typically don’t like them, and the boys usually pick something bigger. I’ve only had one other little girl who ever had a fit over bulldogs like that. I remember each time she came in the store when she was little, that was what she wanted. She always said she wanted a real one someday, but she never got one.”

  Mitch’s memory kicked into place, and he remembered his wife talking about the puppy they’d get when Dee was big enough. “Jana?” he asked.

  Mr. Feazell’s eyes watered, and he rubbed a weathered hand across them before nodding. “Isn’t that something? She was just a baby when Jana passed, wasn’t she?”

  “Two weeks old,” Mitch said, and he noticed that Kate had taken a step toward them, her mouth open in surprise.

  “They always say kids take after their parents in what they like and all,” Mr. Feazell said. “Wouldn’t have thought about that applying to toy animals, but it sure does seem to be the case, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes,” Mitch said thickly, “it does.”

  “Doggy,” Emmie repeated, grinning against the animal’s face.

  Mitch held her a little tighter and silently appreciated the fact that she’d obviously taken after Jana in what she liked. How many other things would he see and learn over the years that showed a glimpse of the woman he loved through their children?

  “She likes...what her mommy liked,” Kate said, almost so softly that Mitch didn’t hear, but he looked up and noticed her hand held just beneath her throat as she stared awestruck at Emmie.

  Mitch didn’t get a chance to think too much about Kate’s tender emotion at seeing Emmie’s reaction to the animal because at that moment, Dee cheered, “I found her. I finally found her!” Then she ran toward them from the Disney section holding up her prized find. A tiny figurine...of Snow White.

  Chapter Five

  After the town’s reaction to the two of them at the square this afternoon, Mitch hadn’t offered for Kate to ride with them to church. No need to add fuel to the gossip fire. So instead, he’d merely let her follow them to the building, and then when they entered the lobby, he curtly introduced her to Brother Henry. While the preacher welcomed her, Mitch explained that he needed to take the girls to their respective classes.

  He ignored Dee’s tug on his arm as she tried to get him to wait for Miss Kate, and he ignored her complaint that she’d really wanted to show Kate her classroom. He’d also taken his time dropping the girls off at class so that his new employee would already be seated in the auditorium...and he could sit on the opposite side.

  His odd behavior bothered him, but not as much as the events at the toy store this afternoon. And throughout Brother Henry’s lesson, his mind kept replaying that moment when he realized Emmie’s choice of stuffed animals was a tribute to her mommy. And that Dee’s toy choice...was a tribute to Kate.

  By the time the Bible class ended, he’d glanced across the auditorium at least a dozen times at the woman who indeed resembled Dee’s new Snow White figure. Something about her captivated him, and Mitch had no idea why. Nor did he like the reaction. He didn’t want to be captivated. And as much as he wanted to deny it, he kind of hoped to catch her looking his way upon one of those glances. Didn’t happen.

  He turned and exited the auditorium to go get the girls and noticed a small group of church members moving toward the new lady for introductions. Probably a good thing. He could pick up Emmie and Dee from class, get home and get a grip on the bizarre twist of spiraling emotions—a combination of guilt, fear...and infatuation.

  That last one was the kicker, because he couldn’t deny that Dee’s infatuation with the lady had nothing on Mitch’s.

  Lord, help me deal with this, he silently prayed as he went to the nursery to pick up Emmie. I can tell she’s a good person, and I know I need her help in the office—that’s what I asked You for, and You delivered—but I need help battling this pull toward her. You know I’m not ready for that, Lord, and I don’t think my girls are ready for it, either. Help me out here, God, please.

  “Emmie seems to be feeling better,” Annette Tingle said, handing her over to Mitch. Mrs. Tingle worked in the nursery on Wednesday evenings. Mitch liked knowing the sweet lady was watching after his little girl. As his neighbor, she’d been around the girls almost daily since they were born and consequently treated them like granddaughters. “Tell Daddy who we talked about tonight, Emmie.”

  Emmie grinned. “Je-sus.”

  Mitch nodded, always happy to see the girls learning about their Lord while so young. “That’s great, Emmie. You can’t go wrong there.”

  Mrs. Tingle reached for Emmie’s diaper bag, hanging on a peg near the door. Usually the pegs were all filled, but tonight only one more bag was present. “Only had three in here tonight,” she said. “Most of the town must be taking their summer vacations. Didn’t seem to be as many in the auditorium, either, from what I could tell.”

  “Yeah, the attendance was low, but it’ll pick back up in the next week or two. Bo and Maura do the big family vacation in May each year, too,” he said, referring to his in-laws. “They are out of town until Sunday evening, and Matt, Hannah and Autumn are with them.”

  “Autumn,” Emmie repeated.

  Mitch realized he probably shouldn’t have mentioned Autumn’s name until his in-laws returned to town, because now Emmie peered over his shoulder and down the hall to see if she could spot her cousin. At eight years old, Autumn was the perfect age to play with Dee and Emmie as a “big girl,” and they both adored her. “Autumn will be back in a few days,” he said to Emmie.

  Her lip poked out, but she recovered quickly when Mrs. Tingle handed her the stuffed bulldog that she’d left on the class table. “You don’t want to forget your puppy,” she said.

  “Doggy!” Emmie snuggled the toy like she’d been doing all afternoon.

  “No, we wouldn’t want to forget that,” Mitch agreed, still awed that she’d selected that particular animal.

  Annette smiled then cleared her throat. “Kate told me this afternoon that she planned to come to church tonight.”

  Mitch zipped the top of the diaper bag. “Yes, she’s here.”

  Annette waited, as though wanting him to say more. Mitch didn’t, so she did.

  “I’m so happy she came to town, aren’t you? You’ve been needing help at the office, and she’s good with the girls, too, isn’t she?”

  Mitch really didn’t want to talk about this right now. He had a feeling half the town was already set to watch his interaction with Kate and determine whether their relationship could be leaning toward the personal. And he’d met her only two days ago. That was the thing about living in such a small town. Everyone knew everything about pretty much everyone. Sometimes that was a good thing; sometimes not so much. Like now. “I think she’s going to be a good employee,” he said, giving no enthusiasm, no emotion. Just stating the facts.

  Mrs. Tingle lifte
d a brow. “Mmm-hmm,” she said, as though she had more to say but chose not to, which was perfectly fine with Mitch.

  “Thanks for taking care of Emmie,” he said on his way to get Dee from her class. The classroom for three-and four-year-olds was located down the next hall. Mitch rounded the corner and saw Kate standing a short distance from Dee’s classroom door and staring at the bulletin board.

  “Kay-Kay,” Emmie said, pointing and smiling as they neared.

  Mitch couldn’t very well step past her without speaking; that’d just make this whole whatever-it-was more awkward, so he nodded toward the bulletin board decorated for spring and said, “About time for my sister-in-law to swap the theme to summer.”

  Kate jumped, apparently so absorbed in the collection of crepe paper flowers and trees that she hadn’t heard them approach.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Mitch said. He noticed that her face was tense, almost as though she were in pain. Her eyes were slightly red and tearstains lined her cheeks.

  She coughed and covered her mouth with the action, then attempted to casually run her palm across one cheek to wipe away the evidence of those tears. “Your sister-in-law?” she finally managed to say.

  “Jana’s sister,” he said, deciding it best not to bring up the fact that she’d been staring at a classroom bulletin board and crying. That might open up something that he didn’t have any business knowing, and might possibly make him feel an even stronger connection toward the lady. He didn’t need their connection to be any stronger. “Before Hannah married Dr. Graham she was a window designer on the square and decorated the storefronts for each of the merchants. Now she’s a stay-at-home mom to their little girl, but she still likes to use her artistic talents whenever she can, and decorating the church bulletin boards is right up her alley.”

  Kate nodded. “It’s going to take me a while to learn people’s names and all of the relationships in town.” She looked from Mitch back to the bulletin board. “But I do want to meet everyone and get to know them.”

  “Well, most folks will start coming back from their vacations soon, and with a town this size, it won’t take you long before you’re on a first-name basis with them all.”

  Kate nodded but didn’t say anything.

  “Sissie,” Emmie said, pointing to Dee’s picture, centering a bright yellow flower on the board. Each flower had a child’s photo forming the middle, with crepe paper surrounding every smiling face.

  “Yes, we need to pick up Sissie from class.” Mitch thought about asking if Kate wanted to see the room, or see Dee, period, but then remembered Dee’s choice of toys today and decided he shouldn’t encourage his daughter’s adoration. So he didn’t say anything else before entering Dee’s room.

  “Everybody’s gone,” Dee said when she saw them entering. She gathered several take-home pages from the table, as well as a handmade finger puppet that must have been her craft for the night. “This is Joseph, but I’m the only one who made him.”

  Her teacher, Rossi Lankford, pointed to a stack of colorful fabric swatches on the table. “I wasn’t thinking about all of the folks who would be out on vacation this week,” she said. “So we have a lot of supplies left over for our Joseph puppets. I told Dee that we’d probably talk about him and his brothers again next week so that her friends can make a puppet, too.”

  “And I said that’s okay, ’cause then I’ll have two puppets,” Dee said.

  “That’s right,” Rossi agreed. “And we still had fun tonight even if it was just us, didn’t we?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Dee answered. “Hey, Daddy, where’s Miss Kate? I want to show her my puppet.”

  Emmie had been absorbed in petting her bulldog, but she looked up and then pointed to the hall. “Kay-Kay.”

  “She’s out there?” Dee asked, hurrying to the door and out into the hall. “Where? I want her to see my class. Miss Kate! You here?”

  Mitch thanked Rossi and then followed Dee into the hallway. He hadn’t been in the classroom but a few minutes and had expected to run into Kate again when they exited, but she was gone.

  “Kay-Kay?” Emmie looked toward the spot where Kate had been standing near the bulletin board.

  “She must have left,” Mitch said.

  “Aww, I wanted to see her,” Dee said.

  Mitch didn’t comment, but if he were being completely honest, he’d have to admit that he wanted to see her again, too.

  * * *

  Kate sat on one of the wooden rockers that lined the front porch of the B and B and stared at the full moon glowing prominently and spotlighting Mitch Gillespie’s home across the street. She’d briefly spoken with the Tingles and a few of the other guests when she’d arrived home from church, but then she’d found sanctuary on the porch and was glad none of the other guests had decided to sit out here tonight. She needed to think, and she needed to pray.

  God, that was so hard tonight. You knew it would be, but obviously You wanted me to go to that church, to hear that lesson on redemption and then to see that picture. You know I’m feeling weak, Lord, and I need strength. I need strength from You. Be with me over the next few weeks, and be with me when I go back for my checkup next week. Let everything be good again, God. And help me to say and do the right thing here. People aren’t as willing to forgive as You are, but I pray that You will help them forgive me when they learn who I am.

  The light in one of the upstairs windows at Mitch’s home came on for a few minutes and then went off again, replaced by a more faint illumination. Kate suspected that Mitch had just put the girls to bed, probably said nighttime prayers and maybe read a story, and then turned their night-light on.

  She wondered if Lainey slept with a night-light. Or a stuffed animal, like Emmie’s bulldog. Did she say prayers? Did she pray for her mommy? Kate winced. Well, of course she did, but the mommy she prayed for certainly wasn’t Kate.

  Ever since they left the toy store this afternoon, Kate hadn’t stopped thinking about Emmie’s choice of that bulldog. Mr. Feazell’s words echoed through her thoughts the rest of the day, especially when she’d gone to the church.

  “They always say kids take after their parents in what they like and all.”

  Did Lainey take after Kate with the things that she liked? What did she like? What foods were her favorites? What types of toys would she pick out in the toy store? Did she talk a lot, like Dee? Or was she quiet and reserved, the way Kate had always been as a child?

  Then again, Kate was usually quiet because she was sad. Her primary memories of childhood, after all, were of doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing, listening to her father and stepmom fighting. Laughter, particularly the kind of giggles and smiles that she’d seen from Dee and Emmie this afternoon, didn’t exist in Kate’s childhood.

  She prayed it existed in Lainey’s.

  Mitch’s screen door creaked as it opened, the sound carrying across the street to draw her attention to the man exiting his home.

  Kate had been rocking steadily, but she paused the rocker and watched him make his way toward the mailbox by the street. He was tall, at least a couple of inches taller than Harrison Tinsdale, her ex, and he had a strong, confident presence about him when he moved. Kate assumed that was due to the responsibility of running a business, taking care of two little girls and dealing with the loss of his wife at such a young age. He’d become a single parent and a widower essentially overnight, and yet he seemed to handle it all okay.

  Thankful for the depth of the porch hiding her in the shadows, Kate took advantage of the opportunity to observe the man she already admired.

  Apparently, the entire town had one mailman, and Maple Street was at the end of his route, because the guy had been leaving mail in the boxes as Kate arrived at the B and B after church. She was thankful for that late delivery now, because it gave her the chance to see Mitch.

  He retrieved the mail from the box and then stood there for a moment before starting back to the house. Kate watched h
is shoulders lift and fall, and then he took a hand to his forehead and appeared to squeeze his temples.

  Maybe he wasn’t handling it okay after all.

  A cool evening breeze caused several pink petals to fall like snow from the branches of the cherry trees lining the street. They caught the moonlight and shimmered in Kate’s path, the scent of the blossoms adding to the serenity of the night. But the man slowly making his way back to his house undoubtedly wasn’t feeling the peacefulness, and truthfully neither was Kate.

  She stood and, before she could change her mind, began walking toward her new boss. By the time she reached him, he’d paused at the top porch step, and Kate heard him exhale thickly in a deep sigh. “Mitch?”

  Obviously surprised, he turned and tilted his head toward Kate. “I—didn’t hear you come up,” he said, then asked, “Everything okay, Kate? It’s kind of late.”

  She felt strange now for walking over at this hour without an inkling of what she was going to say or do once she got here. “I was on the front porch enjoying the night, and I saw you walk out,” she said, her voice trembling a bit due to her nerves. “And, well, you looked like something was wrong. I guess I wanted to see if I could help.”

  Even though he was only illuminated by moonlight, Kate still saw his eyes widen in surprise, and then she saw his head shake slightly and heard him mumble, “You really are a Snow White.”

  “Pardon?” She knew what he’d said but wasn’t quite sure why he’d said it.

  “Never mind.” He breathed thickly again and added, “There is something wrong, and it has to do with you. I guess now’s as good a time as any to apologize.”

  Not what she’d expected. “About me? Apologize for what?”

  He motioned toward the oak swing hanging at one end of the porch. “Come on. We might as well sit down while I explain.”

  “Okay,” she said slowly, and followed him to sit on the wooden swing. The breeze caused her to shiver, or maybe it was the fact that she was sitting this near to Mitch, so close in fact that she could sense his warmth, and she considered scooting closer to ward off the chill.