Walk Into Me

by Jill Prand

  Brad

  She left with him. I watched them walk out of the party into the cold night air with his arm around her. What is she thinking? He is only back for a few days and she’ll be alone again and she’ll be crying on my shoulder that he doesn’t call or write. I know she loves him and I can see the pull they have on each other, but really, why does she do this to herself?

  I make my way over to the keg and get another beer. I might as well get drunk so I don’t have to think about him touching her. Joe is there and he pats my shoulder, “How you doing?”

  “I was having a great time until a few minutes ago,” I say, pouring my beer. “Hey, let’s get a game of quarters going,” I suggest. Joe’s kitchen table is just right and it wouldn’t take much to clear it off. Joe’s not much of a drinker, but he starts rounding up some of the guys to play.

  Richie, Doug, and Rob come over as I’m moving bags of snacks to the counter. Rob starts flipping a quarter while Richie looks in the cabinet for a glass. “Good idea Brad, we need to get this party rockin’,” he says sliding the glass into the middle of the table. By that time George and Chris have joined us and a few of the girls are standing by to watch. We each take a few practice shots to get used to the table and then we start. Within 15 minutes I have downed 3 beers and started to get a buzz. I should feel fine by the time midnight comes around. Suddenly she’s there, standing across the room, with tears running down her beautiful face. What the hell did he do to her this time? I stand up and tell the guys I’m out. I walk over and hold out my hand like she’s a wounded animal I have to get to trust me. She looks at me and falls into my arms.

  “He doesn’t want me,” she cries. I kiss her head and lead her out the sliding glass door. “How can he not want you? I’m sure you’re wrong.” I stroke her back and god she smells great.

  “We were making out...and other things, but when he found out I was still a virgin, he stopped and told me to get dressed. That he didn’t want to be the one to take my virginity.” Her words come out all sniffly and I can feel my shirt getting wet from her tears. “I should have just done it with Steve and then I would be in his arms right now. I mean what does it matter if he is the first or someone else is? I don’t want to be a virgin anymore.”

  I know the feeling but the only person I want to be with is currently crying in my arms about another guy. I’ve loved her since the sixth grade, when she sat next to me on the bus the first time. I can’t imagine my life without her.

  “Will you do it?” She looks up at me. “Will you sleep with me Brad?” My heart stops, she did not just ask me that. Just the thought of touching her like that has me hard. “You don’t mean that Lisa, you’re just upset,” I say as I brush the hair away from her eyes.

  “No, I’m totally serious. I don’t want to be a virgin anymore and other than Bobby I can’t think of anyone I would rather do it with.” She puts her hand behind my head and pulls me down for a kiss. She is tentative and sweet and I can taste her tears on her lips. I have waited so long to kiss her. I lick the seam and her mouth opens to me. I moan because my whole body is on fire and I am not going to be able to stop. My hand fists in her hair and I pull it back to angle her head and my tongue explores every crevice of her mouth. I have wanted this for so long and now here she is letting me kiss her. I press her body against mine so she can feel how she affects me. Her hands start stroking my back and my shirt starts to pull up, my cock jerks when her fingers touch my skin and I suck the air out of her mouth. I know we have to move, we can’t do this here.

  I break the kiss and stroke her cheek, her eyes are half closed and I hope she’s not thinking of him, but even if she is I am taking my one chance, “Let’s get out of here, my parents aren’t home,” I lean down and give her a quick kiss.

  “I’m driving Jodi home; I can’t leave her,” she starts to pull away and I can see she’s thinking about what we’re doing. This is not going to end the way I want it to unless I get her out of here now.

  “Hold on,” I tell her and take out my phone. “Hey John, Lisa is upset and I’m taking her home. We will leave her keys with Joe, can you drive Jodi home?” I listen as he relays what I’ve said to Jodi and hear her ask where we are. “Let Jodi know she just needs to be somewhere else right now.” I pull her against me and stroke her hair. God, I love this girl and I hope to show her how much tonight. I am going to worship her body with mine. John agrees to get both Jodi and Lisa’s car home and I hang up. “Let’s give your keys to Joe and get out of here,” I take her hand and lead her in. I can tell she’s a little hesitant, but she’s still coming with me. Lisa hands Joe her keys without saying a word and walks towards the front door.

  “Is she okay?” He whispers to me.

  “Bobby did a job on her again,” I pat his shoulder. “I’ll make sure she’s okay. What are friends for right?” He knows I want to be more than just her friend. Hell, everyone knows, even Lisa, but it’s never been possible before. Now maybe he fucked up enough for her to give me a shot. I gotta believe this will be more than just one night.

  I follow her out to my car and she is waiting for me. “Are you sure?” I ask even as I wonder why I feel the need to give her an out? “I’m sure Brad. I want it to be you.” She leans up on her toes and kisses me. If I don’t stop this I will never get her home. I open the door for her and she slides in. It only takes us fifteen minutes to get to my house, and we have the place to ourselves.

  Taking her hand, I lead her up the stairs to my room. I’m so glad my mother makes me keep it clean; I know there are no dirty clothes lying around. I close my door behind us and just look at her. I have fantasized about having her here for years. Not that she hasn’t been here before, but never for more than doing homework.

  She walks up to me and starts to unbutton my shirt, she doesn’t say anything as her fingers work from one button to another. I reach down and put my finger under her chin, she finally looks at me. “Lisa, we don’t have to do this.”

  She runs her hand up my now bare chest to my neck and pulls me down towards her mouth, “I want this,” she says breathlessly into my mouth as our lips meet. My hands find her hips and pull her against me. I let my tongue explore her mouth, god she tastes sweet! My cock is jerking in my pants and her hand stroking my chest is driving me crazy. I move my hands under her short skirt and grab her ass. I’ve been obsessed with that ass, I love to watch her walk away from me.

  I lift her up, she puts her legs around me, and I let my fingers explore her slit. Her panties are damp and I hope to god that is from me and not him. I can’t think anymore. All I feel is her and I want to be inside her. I walk us over to my bed and place her on it. I stand up and take off my pants leaving my underwear on and she takes off her shirt and skirt. “God, you’re beautiful Lisa,” I say, laying down beside her.

  I tentatively reach out for her breast and gently touch her nipple through the lace. I hear as she sighs, “I need you to touch me Brad.” Losing all control, I pull the bra down and take her nipple into my mouth. I suck her and lick that tight little nub. My cock is straining against her leg and I rub myself against her. She reaches behind her, undoes the clasp, and her bra falls away. I grab onto the other breast and kneed it roughly.

  Arching her back, she moans, “More Brad, I need more.”

  I move my hand lower and slip it under the silk into the wetness. Lisa lifts her hips to meet my hand and I slip a finger into her, I stroke her a few times before adding another. She is so tight and I worry about hurting her. She pushes her underwear down, lifting her hips and pushing my fingers further inside, she says, “That feels good Brad, please.”

  “Please what?” I look up at her face.

  “Now. I want you inside me now,” she says seriously as she looks at me. “Ple
ase.” I pull off my boxers and reach into the drawer next to the bed to get a condom. Thank god for health class. I roll the condom on and position myself between her legs and push inside. It feels so good, she’s tight and I have to stop for a moment or I’m going to lose it before I’m totally inside her. I pull out almost all the way and push back in harder and feel her barrier give way. She inhales sharply and I know I’ve hurt her. “Are you okay?” I ask.

  She looks up at me with tears in her eyes, “I’m fine just give me a moment.” I don’t know if I can, the urge to move is too great. I start to pull out and she shuts her eyes. I have to move and I start stroking slowly. She keeps her eyes closed I don’t know if I’m hurting her, but I can’t stop. I move faster and within a minute find my release. I lean down to kiss her and she lets me.

  That was the best night of my life. The worst...was when I watched Bobby carry her away.

  Brad

  I’m sitting on my boat with a beer in my hand, looking across the river at her old house...the house that is now on the market. I’ve been toying with the idea of buying it, but it seems like a stalker move. I start my engine and untie the lines. I’m just going to take a closer look.

  It only takes a minute to get to the other dock. There is a For Sale sign on the bulkhead with the number of the realtor, but I know the number by heart. I’ve looked at the pictures online a few hundred times noticing the differences between what it was and what it is now. The whole house has been updated and instead of the Mediterranean feel you got when you walked in before, now it has a cold modern feel. Too much white in the kitchen. And the family room, that used to be my favorite room anywhere, is barren of warmth.

  I tie up and turn off the engine. Stepping onto the updated dock I look up at the tree shading the yard. Lisa and I would lay here and look up through the leaves telling each other our deepest secrets and fears. Our hands clasped together to get each other through another night of hell. Her father, the alcoholic, would he be in a good or bad mood? Would he put her and her mother down, yelling at them about what pieces of shits they were? Or would he come in while they were eating dinner and tickle Lisa just a little too hard along her ribs? It took a good six months after he was gone before she wouldn’t jump if someone touched her sides and then only if she knew it was coming. She still flinches if she’s unaware of someone coming up behind her.

  My nights were my perfect sister telling my parents all about her perfect day then my father questioning me and always finding room for improvement. And of course if I had gotten anything less than a B on an assignment or test there was the belt that came out to make me work harder. You just gotta love corporal punishment as an inspirational tool. Of course my father could find fault in anything I did, not just school work. My room wasn’t clean enough, I didn’t take the trash out soon enough, and god forbid I actually fought with my sister; it was never her fault and she never had a hand laid on her.

  My mom was a housewife so she was always home after school. Lisa’s mom worked so we had the house to ourselves ‘til she got home around five-thirty. In those two hours between getting home and when I would have to leave for my house, Lisa and I did our homework. She would help me with my English and I would help her with the science that she just couldn’t wrap her mind around.

  Once Lisa’s dad moved out it was even better for us. Lisa’s mom would invite me to stay for dinner all the time, calling my mom and begging for me to stay, it worked about every other day. Lisa and I would help her mom by setting and clearing the table and then watch TV until I had no other choice but to go home. I think her mom knew I didn’t have a great home life and tried like hell to help. She tried to become friends with my mom but it never really took. My mom was not one to make friends easily and with Lisa’s mom getting a divorce, my mom didn’t want to get involved in other’s troubles.

  Shaking myself out of the plethora of memories hitting me I look at my phone for the time. Oh shit! I have to get going. I only have an hour before I have to be at the party. The one I’m dreading. I get back on my boat and turn it around to get to my dock. I take one last glance at the house, I’m going to have to decide soon, it won’t be on the market long.

  I get out of my car and walk up the path to the house. Two months since the concert that left me with my heart on the floor. I’ve been hiding from everyone but I can’t miss her birthday no matter how much seeing her with Bobby will hurt.

  Walking through the door into the crowded house, it looks like the gang’s all here and then some. I look around and see all my friends, but the person who sees me first is her mom. “Brad! So good to see you,” she says as she hugs me. “Lisa will be so glad you’re here. She’s missed you.”

  I don’t know what to say to that. I know that Lisa loves me like a brother, but I want so much more with her. “I’ve missed her, too,” I admit. It’s the truth; staying away has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I even took the boat over to Fire Island for a couple of weeks hiding out at my sister’s summer house. She was not happy about that until I started to fix the outside shower. Now she tells me I can stay anytime I want as long as I fix something each time I’m there. Her husband can’t fix shit, damn Ivy League pretty boy.

  I turn back toward the party and suddenly Lisa is in my arms kissing my cheek and holding me tight. “Don’t do that again,” she tells me. “I missed you too much.” She is running her hands over my shoulders and through my hair. If I don’t get her off me soon, she will know exactly how much I missed her.

  Releasing her, I put my hand in the pocket of my jacket. “Happy Birthday Lisa,” I say as I pull out her gift and hand it to her. She smiles up at me, but keeps her hand on my arm like she doesn’t want to let me go. Maybe she does feel more than friendship towards me. I look into her eyes and hope she can’t see how much I want her.

  She looks down at the box in her hand then back up to me before she asks “Do you want me to open this now?”

  I want to see her reaction, but I don’t want an audience. Shaking my head, I say, “No later, after the party.”

  “Does that mean you will stay ‘til everyone leaves?” Her smile widens. “If you want me to.” I can’t say no to her, I never could.

  Then he comes up behind her pulling her back to him and extending his hand to me. “Brad, good to see you.” I know he is staking his claim, but he doesn’t have to remind me that Lisa is not mine. I have known that for a long time. “Bobby.” I can’t bring myself to say more than his name. I really want to yell at him to get his hands off of her, but he has every right to touch her. She is his.

  “Glad you could make it for Lisa’s birthday,” he says as he runs his hand up her arm. She turns and smiles up at him and I can see the love she feels.

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” I tell him. “So, where’s the bar?” I start to walk towards the kitchen since that is probably where the alcohol is. God I need a drink.

  Lisa stops me. “Brad, thank you.” I don’t know if she means for the present or just showing up, but it doesn’t really matter. I nod my head to her and turn away. I have to get a few beers in me if I plan on staying to the end. Just watching them all night will be torture, but I can’t avoid it anymore. My life is here and I need to get back into it. No more hiding; I will just need to try and move on.

  I run into John and Jodi on my way into the kitchen. “Brad, man it’s good to see you,” says John.

  Jodi gives me a hug as she says, “Glad you’re back. You’ve been missed around here.” I want to ask who exactly missed me, but that will just set me up for more heartbreak. I know I’m important to Lisa, just not as important as I want to be. “I couldn’t miss her birthday; she would have hunted me down,” I snicker trying to lighten my mood. I need to hold it together for just a few hours then I can go back home and hide for a few days. If I take it in increments maybe I can get used to this again.

  There is a full bar set up on the counter and a keg in the corner. I go for the hard liquor first, I need a
shot to fortify me. I grab the Southern Comfort hoping the name will rub off a little and pour three fingers into a cup. I down the whole thing at once, the burning makes its way from my mouth down my throat and into my belly. I inhale to cool my mouth off and use the same cup to fill from the keg.

  I turn around and Patty is standing there watching me with a look of concern on her face. “Did you drive?” She asks. “Yes, but I am not leaving until the end so don’t worry, I promise this will be out of my system by then.” I appreciate her concern, but she really needs to mind her own business.

  “I just want to make sure you’re okay,” she says. “I’m fine,” I tell her. “It’s a party. Lets have fun.” I lift my cup and salute her then swallow half of it. I glance at the clock, 9:45 hopefully everyone will start leaving around midnight and be gone by one. I can make three hours I tell myself.

  I start to walk back into the living room and I hear Lisa’s laugh. I just wish she were laughing for me.

  Lisa

  I’ve missed him. It has been almost two months since the week he spent keeping me from losing it totally while Bobby was away and I went and broke his heart again. The day after Bobby came back and I woke up in his arms, I realized what I did to Brad. It hit me hard. I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer. In fact, I wasn’t sure he would even come tonight, but could I really blame him if he didn’t?

  I hope he stays until the end so we can talk. I will have to send Bobby away for a while. I know that Bobby won’t like it, but he will just have to deal. He knows how I feel about Brad and that I need him in my life. We have been doing well, but there seems to be something holding me back. Maybe it is the fact that I’m afraid he’s just going to up and leave again. I am wearing his necklace, but honestly I’m not at all confident in this relationship yet.

  I need to talk to Brad, he always grounds me and makes me face what I need to, helps me work through my feelings. It felt great when he hugged me. I felt safe and something more, not sure what that is. I know my body is safe with Bobby, but my heart is another thing. I know that Brad would never purposefully hurt me; he loves me. Sometimes I wish I could love him like he loves me; my life would be so much easier if I was with Brad.